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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » Catfish on the board

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Author Topic: Catfish on the board
lululymemom
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Just a general warning to be careful of the Catfish on this site. We are not inmune from fraudulent people who have alterior motives. Just be dilligent when giving out personal information through PMs regarding doctor information. If it sounds too unbelievable it usually is.

[ 04-28-2013, 12:31 PM: Message edited by: Lymetoo ]

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IGM 41 IND, 83-93+ IGG 31 IND,34 IND, 41++, 58+, 83-93 IND

31 Epitope test neg.

Bartonella henselae 1:100

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Lymetoo
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I totally agree and considered posting that myself. You beat me to it.

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--Lymetutu--
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lululymemom
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Thanks Lymetoo.. Glad you agree!

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IGM 41 IND, 83-93+ IGG 31 IND,34 IND, 41++, 58+, 83-93 IND

31 Epitope test neg.

Bartonella henselae 1:100

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lax mom
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OMG...I posted the same thing in Off Topic a few weeks ago and deleted it!

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Lymetoo
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I think it's something we should always be on the lookout for. It's basically the same as a troll... just has a new name now. (and perhaps a slightly more specific meaning)

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--Lymetutu--
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lax mom
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http://www.bostonglobe.com/ideas/2013/01/27/catfish-how-manti-imaginary-romance-got-its-name/inqu9zV8RQ7j19BRGQkH7H/story.html

For those of you who haven't heard the term "Catfish" before, here's a news article.

There are also Catfish on the Internet who fake stories for some emotional reasons. That's the story behind the football player being hoaxed and the MTV show by the same name.

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lululymemom
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Thanks for clarifying the term Lax mom!

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IGM 41 IND, 83-93+ IGG 31 IND,34 IND, 41++, 58+, 83-93 IND

31 Epitope test neg.

Bartonella henselae 1:100

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Dogsandcats
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Problem is they are so nice and helpful. They prey on those who are in great need.

Sad to say, if they are overly nice and seem to want to be talking to you all the time...be suspicious.

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lax mom
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I have to admit that I actually watch episodes of "Catfish" on MTV.com when I'm flaring badly...yes I am a bit old for that at 38 [Wink]

I always jump ahead to the end to see who the person really is...scary world we live in.

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Lymetoo
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Interesting that there's a show like that! I don't ever watch MTV.. guess I've been missing stuff!! [Big Grin]

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--Lymetutu--
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beaches
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I have never heard that term before lululymemom. And never heard of that show either laxmom!

I am very leary of posting in "Seeking" despite the need.

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lax mom
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quote:
Originally posted by Lymetoo:
guess I've been missing stuff!! [Big Grin]

No Lymetoo, you're not missing anything! You're actually saving your brain cells [Wink]

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Lymetoo
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LOL, Laxmom!!

beaches .. there's no problem in Seeking

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--Lymetutu--
Opinions, not medical advice!

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Kudzuslipper
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Lol. I have thought this too. Even wrote up a post but erased it. Thanks for posting Lulu.

But since you started it... What I wanted to say is...

Most of us use an alias here... But if you are on here playing with us, whether it is lyme induced psychosis... Just for kicks... Or for some other more sinister motive..

Stop and think about what you are doing and who you are doing it too.

Most of us, even if we are doing well, don't really have the energy to do more than take care of ourselves and the things we absolutely have to like work and family.

And yet we have come to care for our friends here on Lyme net... And I don't care what you call yourself... But if you are making up a story, making up your disease... Don't play with me! I don't have emotional energy to spare on a Catfish!

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lax mom
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Amen to that Kudzuslipper!

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Kudzuslipper
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Oh and lax mom, I have a decade on you and found the MTV show pretty addictive (young at heart right?)
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lax mom
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Kudzu: [Big Grin]

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Dogsandcats
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Kudzu

You have read my mind on this topic and put it into words better than I ever could.

I worry that people do take advantage of others on the board with untrue stories and trolling for their mean jolly's.
Lyme is such a hard disease- physically, mentally, emotionally and socially.

Thank you for stating it so eloquently.

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God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.

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lpkayak
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i agree and have worried about it but could not manage to get the words together. glad you could

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Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself.

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Kudzuslipper
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The problem is I go back and forth between thinking some posters are catfish and believing them and that they truly need help. And I suppose if they are pursuing well thought out fictitious stories to a group of ill people I suppose you could say they do need help.
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Lymetoo
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Sad but true. And they need more help than we could ever give.

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Opinions, not medical advice!

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lax mom
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I have felt the same way Kudzu, even in my short time on this board. I have felt guilty even thinking someone would be a Catfish.

The thing is, there are alot of things about having Lyme and dealing with Lyme treatment that you can't learn through Google. When I think it's a Catfish, it's because their story and treatment make no sense.

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Lymetoo
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or there are gaps in it .. and things that are unbelievable

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--Lymetutu--
Opinions, not medical advice!

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Kudzuslipper
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me too! but then again... Lyme can make you crazy, paranoid, lose details, see things as they are not. so it is very hard to know.
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Lymetoo
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let's say major inconsistencies

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--Lymetutu--
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map1131
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Never thought of it as catfishing. Just knew I smelt something fishy.

Pam

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Lymetoo
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Maybe that's how it got its name.

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sideways
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I agree with you, Pam. I smell it too.

I used to be active on a hobby board. It happened there a few years ago before it ever had a name.

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Kudzuslipper
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I believe the difference between a troll and a catfish is a troll is an instigator. someone who wants to get people mad and turn on each other... they get kicks out of causing a ruckus. A catfish is someone who is looking for attention, often likes the idea of a different identity, and wants to make connections with people on-line in this new identity.

in "catfish: the movie" there is a scene at the end where a character describes what the then unnamed person does in terms of what a catfish does-- always nibbling, making you think you got it, but not really, always keeping you coming back for more... and thus the name of the movie... and then when the manti teo thing happened it stuck and became a new term. (yup I watched a catfish marathon one weekend when it was snowing and I didn't feel good)

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Lymetoo
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always keeping you coming back for more .. yes

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lpkayak
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oh my kudz...

"Most of us use an alias here... But if you are on here playing with us, whether it is lyme induced psychosis... Just for kicks... Or for some other more sinister motive..

Stop and think about what you are doing and who you are doing it too.

Most of us, even if we are doing well, don't really have the energy to do more than take care of ourselves and the things we absolutely have to like work and family.

And yet we have come to care for our friends here on Lyme net... And I don't care what you call yourself... But if you are making up a story, making up your disease... Don't play with me! I don't have emotional energy to spare on a Catfish!"

DITTO!!!!!! wish i could have got those words on the page

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lpkayak
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and this too:

"And I suppose if they are pursuing well thought out fictitious stories to a group of ill people I suppose you could say they do need help."

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Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself.

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Dove7
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Have to say that this never occurred to me until I read this. Guess anywhere today could have catfish people or trolls, but I still tend to go by the Anne Frank quote , "most people are really good at heart."

Please don't tell me the irony of the quote, I am just saying that I believd the gist of it as my father taught me.

Besides doubters of chronic Lyme and the types and varieties of treatments we hold, I can't fathom the intrigue of just getting on here for kicks.

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'Hope' is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul-- Emily Dickinson

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lululymemom
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We can only speculate why people do the things they do.. As Dr. Phil would say this behavior must produce some type of reward for them..

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IGM 41 IND, 83-93+ IGG 31 IND,34 IND, 41++, 58+, 83-93 IND

31 Epitope test neg.

Bartonella henselae 1:100

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beaches
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Dove, I also tend to believe that "most people are really good at heart."

I didn't realize Ann Frank said that (bless her young heart).

I can't fathom the "intrigue" of being here for kicks either.

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lululymemom
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In a perfect world all people are good.. Unfortunately we dont live in a perfect world. A little cynicism is a healthy thing.. It keeps us from being taken advantage of..

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IGM 41 IND, 83-93+ IGG 31 IND,34 IND, 41++, 58+, 83-93 IND

31 Epitope test neg.

Bartonella henselae 1:100

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lululymemom
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quote:
Originally posted by Dove7:


Besides doubters of chronic Lyme and the types and varieties of treatments we hold, I can't fathom the intrigue of just getting on here for kicks.

I dont believe they are doing it "for kicks" Im sure it takes a disturbed individual to engage in this activity.

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IGM 41 IND, 83-93+ IGG 31 IND,34 IND, 41++, 58+, 83-93 IND

31 Epitope test neg.

Bartonella henselae 1:100

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surprise
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Yes, someone very disturbed.

I frequented parents boards - different ones, talking about our children, and issues-

and there were fraudulent posters found out there- someone posting for years or so

about children they never had!

Happened more than once. And we also had I guess what you'd call trolls- someone would get into the group,

then bring up purposely controversial topics like abortion, etc. to stir the pot.

Amazing I'm still online. Crazy stuff, and scary.

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Lyme positive PCR blood, and
positive Bartonella henselae Igenex, 2011.
low positive Fry biofilm test, 2012.
Update 7/16- After extensive treatments,
doing okay!

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lax mom
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OMG surprise! When I was pregnant, I would read posts on a pregnancy board...I never joined or posted myself because it was scary to see the obvious Catfish.

One lady said she was new in town and was asking about which hospital to choose for having her baby when she gets pregnant down the road.

There were so many trusting moms giving her personal info it was scary.

99.99% of people are genuine and have truly good hearts.

However, we also live in a world with sociopaths, psychopaths, people with serious personality disorders, etc.

For example, even though Lyme moms have been falsely accused of Munchausen by proxy...there are legit cases of that in the world. Sad, but true.

I kind of look at Catfish who would frequent an illness site as a type of Munchausen, personality disorder, etc.

BTW: If you are a Catfish we may have brainfog, but we aren't stupid.

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TF
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I'm glad you put up this thread.

I hate seeing people spending their time, energy, and emotional concern on these frauds!

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Lymetoo
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Dr Phil has a program on Catfishing today.

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randibear
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omg!!! i read this and thought it would be something about eating contaminated fish...

goes to show you how innocent i am!!

and i quit giving out dr information. nobody got back to me even tho i repeatedly asked for feedback.

and lyme ya'll know what i go through. hell, nobody could make up my family!!!

sorry but i figure people know the only doc in texas.

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Lymetoo
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Like I said above, the problem is not with Seeking a Doctor.

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tailfeathers
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Oh I just saw Dr. Phil's show on 'catfishing'-I had never heard of this term before. Eeks.. i've been PM'd many x's about many different things and PM'd people myself..and not just about docs.. and I have had my suspicions too - because I live alone I tend to 'befriend' people here or become enthusiastic when I think they're being friendly. This is such a lonely illness.

I personally don't respond to those I think who are not genuine, who (sorry to sound like this) create a lot of 'drama', aka 'attention-seeking' then 'disappear'. The majority of people here give a lot of their energy to the outpouring of emotions from others. With others I sometimes bite my tongue bc I know a few 'personally' and they travel, work, look after kids, have a completely 'normal' life yet sound like they're dying when they post. Some of us try to stay strong if we can just have an occasional shower yet the focus tends to be the ones I described earlier. Just sayin'...

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lax mom
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I meant to watch that episode of Dr. Phil today!

I know what you mean tailfeathers. I spent all day today, trying to get the energy to shower...and just took one and am wiped out.

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tailfeathers
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Actually it was a very weird show lax mom, something about it made me uneasy~ like he was trying to get ratings. I don't watch daytime TV much at all but it seems like he was getting mad at the wrong people (he should have been mad at the possible 'catfish') - no one is perfect and the gal and the person she hired *were* a bit inappropriate but she had her suspicions about someone w/ dual identities.. blah blah - not particularly interesting but made me think a bit.. esp on a forum like this.

Oh - yes - thank goodness we don't do anything too physical to really *need* a shower daily, isn't it?

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randibear
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I'm sooooo lost. Sigh

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Lymetoo
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I missed most of it due to a phone call.

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lululymemom
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Tailfeathers has a point about him getting mad at the wrong people.. He didnt focus at all on the person doing the catfishing. Then brings on the predatory nik richie to promote niks new book. Im losing respect for Dr. Phil.

Its a serious matter when someone always seeks sympathy , attention and information but doesnt seem to heed the advice. Makes me wonder what is being done with that information.

[ 04-25-2013, 10:18 PM: Message edited by: lululymemom ]

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droid1226
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Dr. Phil did a segment on Lyme. He did do some advocacy but also questioned the legitimacy of it.

He propped a girl who was addicted to nitrous oxide and chronically ill up on stage. He then went on to question her "open eyed" seizures.

Then of course they brought in the IDSA Dr. who said chronic lyme is complete BS and doesn't exist.

[ 04-26-2013, 12:22 AM: Message edited by: droid1226 ]

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beaches
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Let's remember that Dr. Phil is a "TV doc" whose show is dependent on ratings.

I've always wondered how/why any psychologist worth his salt would need a public venue to dispense advice to his patients. Perhaps money and fame are factors??

Granted, the show's participants are volunteers. Perhaps they have a need to appear on camera to air their issues??

I just don't get it. If you/your family have serious problems why not seek PRIVATE help?

Yeah, droid, I remember that segment he did on Lyme. What a shame that was.

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Dove7
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I just thought it was the brain fog and pain today, but the story got so convoluted that I thought I needed a map to understand it.

The part of me that try to figure things out kept wondering again about who has time to try to do this and how they get so warped as to want to take advantage of people.

The guy with the sleazy website and book almost sounded as if he was beginning to see or hear about people stealing pictures somehow or "catfishing" people to get the pics to post.

I felt like Dr. Phil was trying to get me to get as angry as he was, and I felt more sad and confused than anything. Seemed as is both or all sides had some hidden agendas.

The more people make connections through electronics the more an equal measure of trust and suspicion seem to be warranted; not the most comfortable idea for me to accept.

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lax mom
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If someone's always take, take, taking but never giving any help...then I wonder about that.

Even when I can't hold my head up, I still find a way to get on here and punch some keys.

If I can type enough to ask for help, I can type a few words of encouragement to someone else who needs it while I'm at it.

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lax mom
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This story isn't about an Internet Catfish, but a lady who faked having cancer. She had serious mental health issues.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2315413/Cancer-faker-opens-mental-break-believe-dying-cancer-accepting-donations-people-believed-fraudulent-plight.html

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lululymemom
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I have heard of several similar stories.. There is always some gratification on the part of the instigator whether it be financial or emotional or both.. Deep down its usually a very troubled individual in need of intensive therapy. Something that we shouldnt be providing here.

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skies
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Glad someone brought this up!!

Like randibear, I assumed this thread must be about actual fish, didn't bother reading it until now. Haha

It's sad that people do things like that.. Pathetic, really. I thought I smelled something fishy a time or two!!

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beaches
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lax mom:

"If someone's always take, take, taking but never giving any help...then I wonder about that.

Even when I can't hold my head up, I still find a way to get on here and punch some keys.

If I can type enough to ask for help, I can type a few words of encouragement to someone else who needs it while I'm at it."


***Very well said lax mom.

lululymemom:

"I have heard of several similar stories.. There is always some gratification on the part of the instigator whether it be financial or emotional or both.. Deep down its usually a very troubled individual in need of intensive therapy. Something that we shouldnt be providing here."


***Ditto, very well said lululymemom.

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lululymemom
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Thanks beaches.. And thanks lymetoo for bringing some clarity to my headline.

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IGM 41 IND, 83-93+ IGG 31 IND,34 IND, 41++, 58+, 83-93 IND

31 Epitope test neg.

Bartonella henselae 1:100

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lax mom
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Thanks beaches [Smile]

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beaches
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No. Thank YOU guys!
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Lymetoo
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You're welcome, lulu!

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Keebler
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-
"Catfish" can have various modes of operation and various agendas.

Some may want so much attention.

Some may just want to really mess with us - making us chase answers to their puzzles. They enjoy seeing us all worked up.

[Some "trolls" take that approach, too, making us verifty every single word we post and never happy with any explanations or even willing to go seek out the best professional sources for themselves. They just want to make trouble for us. -- but that is different from a "catfish"]

Some "catfish" may want to gather personal email addresses (for a variety of reasons but fraud is top one). If they also get a private phone number, fraud can be much easier to perpetrate.

Some may be wanting to reel in a physical - really in person - relationship when they find someone in their area -- or who might fly in for them.

They may not at all be the sex, age, or even in the location they say. And, of course, they may not even be ill at all. Or they could be.

There are various motives and various "costumes" a "catfish" may work. It could probably be a whole college pyschiatric course -- or a crime course.

We also have to be concerned when we share detail about LLMDs as that detail could be used for harm.
-

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Keebler
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lax mom writes: "If someone's always take, take, taking but never giving any help...then I wonder about that." (end quote)

Actually, that does not bother me or alert me so much as some just don't have any energy at all for that.

What does bother me, though, is when they post of dire symptoms and no explanations from posters of what's happening - or suggestions as to what can help - are even considered. When they've been give dozens of explanations & suggestions over months and not one - zero - is accepted as a possibilty.

As well, one catastrophe after another, each new one even before the previous one has had time to settle. Creating drama is a hallmark of a "catfish" to reel in folks.

I'm sure there is more detail one could find from a web search for those who teach about this. When searching "catfish" just look for the more profesisonal authors or presenters.

Stopping for a moment, though, while some "catfish" have criminal fraud as their motive, some may not even know what they are doing if they cast their net far & wide & deep for all the sympathy they can get. Maybe they do need that, or it seems so to them right now.

Those with purely psychological motives can be at risk and really do help. And I don't have the energy to figure out how to wrap this up in a thoughtful way. But it's something to think about.
-

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Keebler
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Google: How to spot a "catfish"

There appear to be several good links for how to spot online misrepresentations.

One of those, the place to begin:

http://voices.yahoo.com/catfish-101-8-ways-spot-fake-online-profiles-12010460.html

Catfish 101: 8 Ways to Spot Fake Online Profiles
-

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Lymetoo
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"Real" drama doesn't bother me nearly as much as "fake" drama.

We all have some drama in us, I think.

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randibear
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nobody could make up the stuff that goes on in my life!! they wouldn't want to be involved in it...well heck, i don't...

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beaches
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The "real" drama is just what happens to us during the course of our lives.

The "fake" drama perpetuated by others is a whole other issue.

I don't think we have drama in us. I think life/crap just happens to us and we deal with it as best we can.

And we eventually weed out who is real and who isn't.

Randibear, I totally understand. No one could even begin to imagine the stuff that goes on in my life either.

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Keebler
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The link(s) explain the differences in the kind of (fake) drama and emergencies that "Catfish" bring about - often to get money (or INFORMATION) or to "hook" their prey, grooming them.

It's not at all the same as the real suffering and turmoil caused by illness and all that affects. Just to be clear. It's not like someone espressing emotions as an outlet.

The methods of a "catfish" around drama are taken to a whole different level, although that can be a subtle difference.

It's best explained by the link and the search, though.
-

[ 05-15-2013, 02:00 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]

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lax mom
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Bringing this thread back up.

Please everyone remember to be careful about giving specifics about our Drs to folks you don't know.

Remember the NY Dr's especially seem to be under the gun at the moment.

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beaches
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Good point LAX.
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skies
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Yes, good point... I was about to bring this thread "up" a couple days ago, but forgot.

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lpkayak
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skies i want that doggie in my house...

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Lymetoo
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No, kayak.. I already asked for him!! He reminds me of my border collie.

[Smile]

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lululymemom
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laxmom thanks for bringing this back up.. We need to remember that a catfish will try whatever means possible to gain some benefit which on this board could include doctor information.

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skies
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Kayak and TuTu... Haha!! I know, he's cute! I don't even have that kind of dog, but I like him. I have a Pug and a Corgi.

[Smile]

And yes, the catfish will try any way they can to get info and are usually pros at sounding sincere!

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