Topic: im just wondering how many parents here with lyme have adult children/younger kids
lpkayak
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adult would be after high school
? adult ? hs ? grammar school ? under five
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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lpkayak
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me...4 adult
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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LisaK
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2 adult , 1 in hs.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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When I was treating Lyme, my oldest was in college, the rest ranged from elementary to HS.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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LisaK
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I feel the empty nest and I do not like it one bit.
I like some things about it, but I wish now that I had at least 5 kids.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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posted
LisaK, I am glad I had so many or I'd be an empty nester this year. Well, sort of. My 20 yr old still lives at home and my son doesn't go to college until the fall, so I have 3 at home.
One lives across the street from me, married, second kid was due a week ago, getting induced tomorrow.
Another married kid only lives a half mile away.
Then my 25 yr old son lives near us in Florida (we live there part time).
So most are out, but they didn't go far and it's not unusual for me to get as many as 12 around my dinner table.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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lpkayak
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I guess im different. I was ready for them to leave. I was tired. Still sick. Glad they all wanted to launch. But i never thought they would go so far and hardly ever come home. All married...good jobs...bought houses. Its mostly education and work that kept them away. Two of the boys are married to woman who really want-need to stay near their parents.
All dx lyme and treated differently. ..some many times, some long, some short. All abx tho. They all deny lyme now but i see residual stuff. Society would see them a successful.
I worry from afar and keep my mouth shut or they see me less.
One dil and grandson were also treated. New grand babys momasked me about nursing after tick , bite but when i referred her to llmd to get abx so she could continue nursing...she got upset...was afraid abx would hurt baby....my son told me never to talk to her about lyme again(even tho sge asked the question)
But i dont. Cuz they will dissappear. I watch from afar ... baby has some issues but they are not talked about. I cringe thinking about vaccinations. Im so glad im not raising a child now. The decisions! I just have to believe there is a reason this is all happening...enjoy the time i have with them and hope it tyrns out ok.
I have stopped bugging the others to make babies tho. Such a sad situation this world is in now.
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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LisaK
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but we need more babies. if we stop having babies the crazy people will have them all and the entire world will be taken over by crazies. sorry, just my opinion. I don't mean to offend anyone.
most young couples now only have one or maybe 2. everyone's so scared of the college tuitions. it's just rediculous. such a scam, but parents are guilted into thinking they have to supply college for their kids. not me. if my kids wanna go, they pay for themselves.
there are so many things the world needs help with and maybe your kid will be the one to help it?
I hope I get to be a grand parent one day! I am soooo ready. when I say that, all my friends look at me like I am strange. well, they all know I am strange so what's the difference! haha
my oldest wants kids for sure but she has another yr of college left and isn't even sure about who she'd want to marry.
I breastfed with tick disease, but I didn't know it. I don't know what I would do now if it was happening. breast milk has so much to offer. it would be a terribly hard choice. I thought they did have abx safe for when you nurse?
my mom had 6 of us. my sister and I are Irish Twins at 10 months apart. yup. and my mom had 4 of us within 5 years. mom kept telling us all to get out. "get a job, get a pad, and get out" I heard it many times in my late teens, early twenties.
we always went back home for holidays and such now with my parents in their 80s we all want to see them as much as possible, but they are the ones that moved away from all of us! haha.
I am so glad my mom lasted this long so we could have the relationship we now have. we used to figth al lthe time and with time have grown to appreciate her very much.
many kids don't get to do that and I would like for my kids to have a chance to be that way with me. I think I was in my early 40s when I finally realized how much I appreciate them in my life.
I always did, but not full appreciation, you know? and now they are old and sick and it is killing me.
I used to want to die young, but now I want to be as old as possible so that I can know my grandkids. and all my kids can really know me.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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lpkayak
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Lisa they do have safe abx so u can carry baby and nurse with lyme and baby does notvneed to be affected. Dr j figured it out but only good llmds know how to do it and my dil never got to the good one or listens to the bs about how bad abx are
Guess what lisa...im the oldest of six and my brother is seven months younger than me...he was two months premature. My mom said i was mad at him and when she nursed him i would spit at him
Sometimes my kids say its my fault we dont see each other cuz i moved away but i dont think of it like that. I grew up in nh and went to school in ny and found teching job there and stayedcand raised kids there...but i always thoght of nh as home and always knew i would come back. I think i dont see them cuz of the world economy. They keep having to work more hours, forvess pay and benefits and itvis the same with their spouses. They are just too tired to come here. I used to be able to drive long distancescnow but its much harder now...plus being away from.my house is really hard. I havent slept in.a bed since march and i just have wierd needs-ac, dehumidifyers, food, no stairs , insomnia etc
Since we all got together in march i am.much more comfortable about not seeing. them. I know they are busy living. But getting together once a year ina good-casual environment with them is really important to me
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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LisaK
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yes, I am not sure how I will handle all kids gone. o my.
I like my time alone, but like- my teen son just called and asked to go to his friends for dinner. I was really looking forward to him eating here tonight and seeing him.
he was away all last week on a mission trip. I never see him. I was not ready for this.
but I think I am being very sensative lately. not sure why. maybe it's the death of FIL, and my mom now sick. ?
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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lpkayak
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I know i am going to have a hard time with grandkids growing up wuth parents who deny seriousness of lyme and ticks. I have to let that go. But im also having trouble being a grammie. The inlaw family has way more money and resources than me. I have tried to come up with unique gifts that will give a sense of who i am...im different than inlaws. Sorta city mouse/country mouse thing
I also have to face fact they are working too hard and have too many family committments to travel to me so i can only see her when i am well enough to travel
I cant stay there either...it just doesnt work with my health issues. And motel rooms -well...i never know.
Anyway for her first bday i made a blurb book of all the pics they sent me from hospital birth to almost one. And i added pics of our relatives who havent met her yet. It was really hard for me to do...but i had a plan to do one each year but then i found out an aunt who is a photographer. Is doing them now.
Then i was going to bring a sandbox...but other grandparents beat me to it.
18 months after i gave her a little horsehead on a broom handle i saw her and showed her how to use it and she started playibg with it next day. That made me happy.
Mostly i cant find the toys or books i send her when i visit.
I decided to start saving money regularly and let it build up and hope when shes older she will visit me and we can go on day trips and get to know each other
She does like books tho and i found a book...hardcover classic nursery rhymes that you can order and they hide the childs name in the illustrations. I know she will like looking for her name.
Shes going to be two soon. Do you think that will be a good gift? Easy to send in mail etc?
Anyone else have grand kids? How do you handle it?
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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LisaK
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I can't wait for grandkids. hope I have some one day.
my mom lived away from us all these years. she didn't really do any fancy gifts that stood out that I can remember, but she did send like valentines with $5 gift cards for the ice cream store for when we visited their town, etc. and she is a zany character so that has always stuck with the kids. and a great deal of
grandkids knowing their grandparent is up to the kids' parents, I think. we are always talking abut the grandparents and encouraging relationships with them.
about books- there is an EXCELLENT book for that age! called mouse about the house. it has a little mouse that you lead through the actual pages and read the story. it is soooo cute and my kids loved it over and over and over.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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lpkayak
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Ty lisa
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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lpkayak
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I just realized that my kids are between 30-45 yrs....and the 3 younger ones at least really dismiss me as having anything worthwhile to say
But i talk to many ppl online that age...and they wouldnt be talking to me if they thought i was wortless
Im glad im learning to let the hurt go. This disease does so much damage in so many ways
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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LisaK
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I didn't appreciate my mother fully until I was about 45. I thought I did after I had kids, and I did to an extent, but now I realize that she is one of my best friends. she was not even a slight of a friend until at least 35 or so. I accepted her a bit more and I appreciated her advice SOMETIMES but still thought I knew more than she did.
we did not get along at all growing up. I didn't like anything about her. but now I think what I will do when she is gone..... I only realized this last year- that she is a best friend. more than any of my 3 sisters are. not saying that is right because I ould love for my siblings to be my friends and I have tried, but I am an oddball and not many people understand or accept me.
that is probably why my mom and I are close. we now accept each other. I find old people have way more tollerance. they realize the important things in life. everyone else 70 and under , are too worried about the world. that's just what I see. ..... I love people over 80. they just are so real and accepting- usually.
my daughter- a late teen- comes through the door the other day. clearly having a terrible day. ranting , raving..... yelled at me that the door was locked! ha. and complained about everything from the crack in the floor to the glass someone left on the table.
I lost it and yelled back and she said something like that I am anoying and to just be quiet , etc. I couldn't keep my mouth shut (I am working on that) and I parroted back to her what she was saying to me. which I never do. she immediately gat upset and asked why *I* was being so crabby and saying mean things! hahaaaa.....
usually as a mom we sit back and let our kids say things that we have no idea where they get it from because we ourselves have never talked that way to anyone! and when I was saying those things back at her she did not like it. and I pionted that out to her too.
I am not saying it wsa rigth. but it made her see that words hurt. I never call my kids stupid, but they have all said it to me. imagine, I said, "if I call you stupid your whole like"- then what would they have turned out like!!?????
kids today are brats. and social idiots. and I am not talking babies. I mean anyone pretty much under 30. spoiled.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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