Please listen to this --- it will be my song for a little while.
On Tuesday morning, five minutes after I arrived at the hospital, the person dearest to my heart, my husband Jack, took his last breath. He was felled by Babesiosis, 85 years old. Jack finally went to sleep, gently, after a long battle. Dr. K. spoke to him from Europe while he was already slipping away and asked me to give him a kiss from him before we hung up. I had all the support, but the bugs were stronger.
I had a difficult time letting him go � only God knows how hard I tried to help him during my years of my own Lyme problems when he carried me up the stairs to the doctor�s office, bathed and dressed me and as he remained a bright shining light when I got well and had to do the same thing for him to his last days.
My heart aches as if a huge rock had been pulled out of my chest. Jack and I were holding hands on our 50th Wedding Anniversary less than a month ago. That is all that was left for us to do.
I happen to run "accidentally" into this song later on Tuesday -- Dr. K. is singing the words as he often does at the end of seminars, usually inspiring songs. The shorter fellow next to him is a dentist or MD, a student who has been doing the Klinghardt thing in Germany for many years. This song must have been at a time when he felt he had failed a patient. I will translate some of the words from German:
�Dear God � please help find me I have lost my way in the world Please please please please shine your light As I stand before a locked door I feel as if in a strange land Please please lead me by the hand Dear God please help find me���
Some day I will join my beloved Jack at this good place with the bright light. Until then I will keep searching and learning.
Thank God for every day you can share with a loved one.
Posted by Jane2904 (Member # 15917) on :
GiGi, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by Deb133 (Member # 18544) on :
GiGi,
I do not know you but you have helped me and so many others countless times. I am so sorry for your loss. As I sit here and listen to the song and read your post I cannot stop the tears.
You are a wonderful angel sent from God. Your husband is in a much better place with no suffering.
Thank you for all you do for so many people.
God bless you,
Deb g
Posted by Kramberry (Member # 34032) on :
So sad that someone has to die again from this dreadfull disease.
Im sorry For your lost... We all know how hard it is to deal with this disease.
Posted by Rivendell (Member # 19922) on :
GiGi, Bless You Dear.
Now, the loving husband who looked after you while your were sick is truly your guardian angel looking after you from a higher, lighter place.
May you heal and find peace.
Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
Gigi, I am so sorry.
Posted by nomoremuscles (Member # 9560) on :
Gigi,
I'm very sorry for your loss.
From all you've described, I'm sure he knew he was loved.
Posted by kidsgotlyme (Member # 23691) on :
Gigi,
I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
i am so very sorry. i cannot imagine your grief and pain.
i will think of you.
Posted by penguingirl (Member # 28688) on :
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I'm so sorry, Gigi. And yes, the love you had for each other was huge. Hang onto the memories. God Bless.
Posted by 8man12 (Member # 7664) on :
Very sorry for your loss, prayers sent.
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
I am sorry for your loss.
Posted by skies (Member # 28064) on :
So sorry for your loss...I don't even know what to say. Thinking of you-- God bless. Posted by Alice In Lymeland (Member # 34082) on :
I'm so sorry, Gigi. My thoughts are with you.
Posted by glm1111 (Member # 16556) on :
GiGi,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband Jack, and for the heartache you are feeling.
Gael
Posted by beths (Member # 18864) on :
So sorry to read of your loss. may the good memories be a comfort to you now
Posted by NanaDubo (Member # 14794) on :
Jack was one of the kindest men I ever met. Always a twinkle in his eye. He had a special name for Gigi - so sweet as was he.
He put up a long and hard fight.
Gigi, I know more than most how hard you worked to help him. You never, ever,ever gave up. He will watch over you from his peaceful place and call you that special name.
Posted by Healing in Santa Cruz (Member # 7798) on :
Dear Gigi,So sorry to hear of your loss. You r in my thoughts and Prayers.You have been such a wonderful wife to him. Take good care. Gentle nurturing Hugs.
Posted by tickled1 (Member # 14257) on :
Gigi,
I am so so sorry for your loss. Bless you.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
I am so sorry Gigi. God bless and make you strong.
Posted by baileypup (Member # 22824) on :
Gigi, Your husband was blessed to have you beside him. You were lucky to have each other. His spirit will be with you always.
You have helped so many of us with all that you have learned - I hope you know we are here for you....
Posted by Tammy N. (Member # 26835) on :
Dearest Gigi,
I have been thinking of you every day. You already know how I feel, but I just had to put a post here as well.
I am so glad for the wonderful half-of-a-century that you got to share with the love of your life. 50 years is a magical milestone that most people don't make. It makes it harder to let go, but the lifetime of wonderful memories you have made will carry you through. You and Jack are wonderful people. Now Jack is in a peaceful place, finally. And I hope a different kind of peace comes to you during this very difficult time.
Sending warm and comforting thoughts your way. Tammy xo
Posted by scorpiogirl (Member # 31907) on :
I'm sorry for your loss. May the Lord wraps His arms around you in your time of need.
Posted by sk8ter (Member # 8671) on :
Dearest Gigi, My heart and prayers are with you...you and your husband have helped so many here ...bless you and Jesus hold you in His arms.
Posted by Sammi (Member # 110) on :
GiGi, my heart goes out to you. Sending hugs and prayers.
Posted by bcb1200 (Member # 25745) on :
So sorry to hear this.
Posted by RZR (Member # 20953) on :
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so sorry your beloved Jack lost his battle.
Sending a group hug from all of us. Posted by Kudzuslipper (Member # 31915) on :
My heart aches for you Gigi. so sorry for your loss.
Posted by tick battler (Member # 21113) on :
Dear Gigi,
I'm so sorry to hear this tragic news of your loss of your dear husband. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
Posted by Lymedin2010 (Member # 34322) on :
I echo the words of the others and have you in our prayers. This story is very touching.
Thank you for your responses when I ask questions and thanks for supporting our community and for fighting what is a true battle.
Posted by Rumigirl (Member # 15091) on :
Gigi,
I am so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. I completely understand how hard it must be to let him go. How could it be otherwise after a lifetime together of love?
I send love and prayers to ease your heart in this difficult time. Your light always shines brightly here, and I know it will continue to do so, even if there is sorrow in your heart.
Your family is here, too. xoxoxo
Some day these illnesses will not have to take those we love. But in the meantime, we fight on.
Posted by AlanaSuzanne (Member # 25882) on :
Oh God Gigi, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. It is wonderful that you were able to spend so many years with each other. But so sad that it ended the way it did.
You have helped so many here. Thank you for that. Take time to grieve for however long you need.
Just know that there are people here including myself who will await your return.
Posted by Brussels (Member # 13480) on :
Gudrun, my deepest condolesce for the loss of your beloved husband.
As I read LN for the last 7 years, I know how much you cared for him. I'm glad he has left so many grandchildren, and I'm sure you will feel him around, if not already. You're blessed to know so many things, in all the senses...
I hope you have the force you need to go on.
I loved the song too.
Posted by jackie51 (Member # 14233) on :
I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by tdtid (Member # 10276) on :
I'm so very very sorry, Gigi. I had clicked on your link as I read your note. The tears roll down my eyes with such emotion. Hugs to you and you will be in my prayers.
Cathy
Posted by jlcd1 (Member # 18138) on :
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you.
Posted by lymeinhell (Member # 4622) on :
Gigi, I am so sorry for your loss.
Find a way to hold on to the good memories, and he will always be with you. Talk about his good spirit, your love together, and your special times. And your heart will someday sing, knowing that your beloved is always there, watching over you, waiting for the day you can be together again. If you listen, you will hear.
May God bless you and bring you peace.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
So sad
Posted by mbdq (Member # 26277) on :
I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by momlyme (Member # 27775) on :
GiGi - so sorry.
Posted by hopingandpraying (Member # 9256) on :
Dear Gudrun,
I am so sad that you lost your beloved husband, Jack. My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family.
Even though it is difficult to lose him, please find comfort in knowing he is no longer suffering and in a much better place.
You have always helped so many here, sharing your knowledge and experiences and we are all very grateful.
Although we cannot take away your sadness and heartache, we can all send you many of these
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain." Rev 21:4
Posted by tickssuck (Member # 15388) on :
I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers for strength and peace for you and your family. TS
Posted by Abxnomore (Member # 18936) on :
Sending healing thoughts your way. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted by Truesun (Member # 19735) on :
Gigi,
So much of what I do for myself and my sons is because of you. I've read so much of what you've written and it has been a light through the darkness. We are with Dr. K in a good part because of your faith in him. I know how much you have helped my family. People you don't even know. How much more did you help your beloved husband? I know he couldn't have been in better hands. Keep singing your song GiGi and God Bless you.
Truesun
Posted by Beth22 (Member # 30232) on :
I am so sorry for your loss. You have helped so many people here, and I hope the support you find here can help just a little. God bless you.
Posted by x9w5a34 (Member # 28204) on :
Gigi, I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by J-Dog (Member # 13160) on :
Dear Gigi,
I am sorry to hear of your loss. Please know many are thinking of you and sending love and healing your way.
You have done a magnificent job of supporting all of us here on lymenet. Hopefully, we can do the same for you.
You truly sparkle.
Posted by hopeful4 (Member # 8486) on :
Dear Gigi, I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and wishing you comfort and healing.
Posted by LBS (Member # 33323) on :
Gigi,
I will pray for you. My you rest under the wings of Jesus, who may bring you peace during this difficult time.
God bless you.
Posted by blownelk (Member # 27078) on :
Gigi, Thank you for sharing the song. I will be praying for you. "Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted." May God bring you special comfort in this difficult time.
Posted by dmc (Member # 5102) on :
Oh Gigi, I am sadden by your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Posted by TerryK (Member # 8552) on :
My heart goes out to you. May you and your family find peace and healing quickly.
Terry
Posted by annier1071 (Member # 28977) on :
GiGi
I just lost my husband at 59 yrs old two weeks ago. We would have been married one year last week and I know how much pain you are feeling.
My husband was not sick, after an accident a drug was given to him in error that caused him repiratory failure. While in the ICU they found he too had lyme and babesia which contributed to his breathing issues.
I, like you, feel like my heart has been ripped from chest. He was taken so suddenly and no matter what the age or how long you love someone, the pain is the same.
He too carried me all this year while I was trying to treat my lyme and I depended on him for everything. They are both God's special angels and were sent to us for some very important reason.
I pray that they have met in heaven, free from all pain and both looking down on us and watching over us..The day will come when we are together again and the party will begin for us all. Much love Ann
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
I'm so sorry, Ann. Posted by dogmom2 (Member # 23822) on :
I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by Haley (Member # 22008) on :
I can't imagine the grief you must feel.
It is a fearful thing to love what death can touch.
Posted by jlp38 (Member # 27221) on :
What a beautiful sentiment Ann. I bet they are both looking down on you, watching over you.
Posted by Sammi (Member # 110) on :
Ann, I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
quote:Originally posted by Haley:
It is a fearful thing to love what death can touch.
- Wow. That is an amazing statement of truth.
Posted by sammy (Member # 13952) on :
Ann and Gigi, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for your great loss. Praying that God will carry and comfort each of you.
Posted by Karensky (Member # 21350) on :
Gigi ...
I'm so sorry to hear of this huge loss of your soulmate of so
many years...I can't imagine the grief ... I know you only through
this site but you have always been such a guiding light for me ...
... so very helpful , insightful , generous and knowledgeable ... I
send you a big hug , full of genuine warmth and compassion for
what you must be going through @ the moment...
please know you have touched my life in such a positive way and
helped me so much and I would do the same for you in a heart
beat ...your husband was a lucky man ... and you too ... I hope
you can rely on all the wonderful memories you have of being
together to help you get through this difficult time ...
my heart is with you , sincerely Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
I'm so sorry to read this, Gigi - at least it sounds like you had a wonderful life together -
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)