We've had sad news again, TxCoords Uncle is very ill and worsening.
Unc' has been battling a large growth,on the side of his head for awhile. It is taking a toll,he has opted not to have more procedures.
Unc' has lost the hearing in the one ear,and his balance is going, he has fallen three times recently.
We live in different states, but try to check in by phone from time to time. I lost my last Aunty on Easter,and now Unc' is losing ground.
I know it is the way of things... but loved ones, family, and friends keep passing, before we can get our grief calmed w/ the ones before.
As we age,it is happening more and more...and we are looking for ways to cope. Lyme and Co's and other issues,I think, make it harder to deal with.
I believe a time will come when we will see those who pass on before us, again...but right now we must go on.
What do y'all do to cope? We are praying,for either healing,or an easy homegoing for Unc'.He is elderly now, and says he doesn't mind going.
Thanks for tho'ts and input...
Jus' Silverwolfi here
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Jus' me rambling here,
I feel like a recalcitrant child/'cub' right now.
Sorta want to stomp my little paws, cover my eyes and ears,and holler-howl..."Make it stop...I want all the sickness and dying and pain to just stop...".
It happens every day,I know... but I wish it would stop...and if friends loved ones and family have to pass on,I'd like it to be at a very elderly age, at home,in their sleep. After I wonderful time w/ all the loved ones gathered around...
I just want to live in a perfect world dont I...
Jus'Silverwolfi jabbering
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
We lost our best friend's wife,juanita,'to liver cirrohsis, then friend ann's mother, age 93,'then another of husband's friend wife, so we've had several losses lately too.
It's tough. You want to just sit and go why. No rhyme or reAson but you have to go on
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi <<<<< randibear >>>>>,
The deaths just keep happening ... I am sorry to hear this. Extra hugs to you and yours .
I am trying not to get too down...but it just doesn't stop, Like you said no rhyme or reason.
Just not coping real great right now...and I don't think there really are any easy answers... but it is making me sad.
Unc' is just the coolest fella you'd ever want to meet. We don't get to visit very often,just the phone calls now and again,and he can't hear.
We can't travel to go and see him and his wife either...sigh. At least we know as he says he's 'ready to go'. To many have 'gone' tho' since 2000.
Jus' Silverwolfi here
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
Yeah juanita was a devout christian. A good a person as You would ever want to meet. She suffered like you cant imagine and they had a closed cAsket. He said it was awful.
Makes you wonder why the good ones suffer so
Posted by sammy (Member # 13952) on :
Good question Silverwolf.
There are times when I still struggle with the loss of my cousin. He was 30yrs old, passed away in Oct. He lived in the basement apt at his parents house, they got worried when he didn't got to school (Master's degree) or work. They decided to key in and check on him when he didn't answer his phone or texts. They found him in his bed. Autopsy revealed an enlarged heart, that's it.
His death has really hit me hard, maybe because we were closer. He was only a year older than me. He was always so good to me. He was a kind, gentle, happy, generous person. Someone you'd like to know.
I couldn't believe he died because he's never been sick a day in his life. Yet here I am barely hanging on with a bunch of rare life threatening infections, immune deficiency, broken back, etc... Made me feel guilty for surviving.
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
I am having a hard time with this one myself.
Will keep us all in my prayers. Posted by poppy (Member # 5355) on :
You can't stop it. Just do what you can for those people while you have time and try to remember all their good qualities and the times you had together.
It would be too bad if we just totally forgot those people because the loss was so painful. Have tears in my eyes typing this.
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi there <<<<< randibear, sammy, Linny123, and poppy >>>>>,
First off Linny123 [w/ a K and no extra N ],apologies for the mispelling, my silly old computer wont let me type the word in my 'bracket hugs'. It thinks I am sending a bracketed l-i-n-k address. We all need hugs and prayers right now,I think.
Sammy, I am saddened that your cousin died and so suddenly. So hard to understand when they are still so young.Hugs comin' your way.
Poppy, extra hugs sent your way as well, TxCoord and I were just remembering some loved ones, with tears and smiles.
I know we cannot turn back the clock, but I wish it was possible. So many folks I miss, I haven't been able to write well enough for folk to read in a long time...
[typing is easier, but until computers I didn't really learn]. But I would try to communicate more.Listen more,hug more, and get a machine to record folks sharing memories and songs.
Thanks to each of you for responding...
Jus' Silverwolfi keeping us in prayer,for comfort and easing of grief.
Posted by rera2528 (Member # 29886) on :
Hi Silverwolf,
I wish I had wisdom on this one, but I am coming up empty. I am going to a memorial service tomorrow for a 17 year old who lost a long battle with cancer.
I am a spiritual, but not necessarily "religious," person. However, in my yearbook, I used a quote from Ecclesiastes 9:11 that has always rung true with me:
"Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to them all."
When I have had trials of questioning "Why?" - why now, why me, why them, why this pain, I go back to this scripture.
It does not necessarily provide answers, but I do get some comfort from knowing that we ALL face these challenges, regardless of who we are.
These situations are, in some ways, precious. They are part of what makes us community - our ability to empathize with one another's grief. They bring us back to what is truly important - love, laughter, shared moments, hugs, smiles, joy, memories. It is so easy to lose sight of those dear things in daily life.
I wish you both peace during this challenging time. May you find comfort in one another, as well as others in your lives whom you love and who love you.
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
rera,
Well said.
Posted by nonna05 (Member # 33557) on :
I'm with you on this one ....have been thinking just off hand ..Like Oh! Mom would like that show. then I remember ,hard.
.Or ,That sound's like something Mike could do...to late It's all The cycle of life and we know it..
( I could ball up crying or gag on those words at moments)
.I think it's made harder for those of us that are sick,,with something that shouldn't be happening and even though it is, and could have been treated earlier.....
Like the answer was there/ why didn't it happen?
So I pray to get well ,and ask the Lord for it to be above ground.. I have so many thing's in my heart to do..Thing's that I thought were God's plans..
So we hear of people passing..The elderly , though difficult, a little easier to understand..
It's hard when you know the person has had a hard life....
Us being sick, having known some that lost the war with this.... and yet have such a heart to feel for the other people and families..
.We are human and not developed slugs... we hurt from these life events.
So we're here asking for a kind word or a shoulder ... and that IS something to be grateful for.
No it's not just a select few anymore with this illness and Yet you see thing's like Growth out of head. or 30 and just happened....
We are living a "this doesn't make sense Valley" and makes us very aware of the others pain..
I do pray for comfort in the midst of your pain... Strong hearts and resolve to fight this ...and the courage to reach out to others in the middle of their grief Posted by nonna05 (Member # 33557) on :
Lord bless you today with some special act that let's you know it is Him ,saying I'm here Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
ive experienced a lot too. older ppl who suffered and young ones who never saw it coming.
i somehow try to believe there is a reason for it...and hope they are happier...to be away from the suffering...to be at peace ...
Posted by Bugsy (Member # 37572) on :
Hello All,
My heart hurts reading all the pain and no one really seems to have hope. Would any of you like to know what Jesus promised? It's all in the Bible and I can direct you to the scriptures. I can't type long today, had a treatment yesterday and I'm hurt pretty bad. But if any of you would like to know what the Bible says, please send me a private message and i will help you find the hope in Jesus own words. If you think about the miricles he performed on earth, it was like a preview of things to come in a larger way. Here are just a few of things he did, raised dead loved ones, cured sickness, feed hunger crowds and more. There is more to life then we know. Please forgive me if I don't get to you right away, they are raising my dose tomorrow and I fear i will be worse. I look forward to talking to anyone that my be interested in Bible discussion. It will take my mind off of the pain.
Bugsy
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
<<<<< rera', 'linny' ,nonna', lpkayak, and Bugsy >>>>>,
Hi there, sorry I've not gotten back here sooner. The PA has me on an ABX, that is really kicking my rear. It is short term,but the best I could do for now.
Rera' and -Linny K.-[since my 'puter wont let me bracket the name ]. I loved the Ecc. 9:11. The '911' call on God when we just don't feel we can get past the grief.
Rera, I hope your heart was soothed with the Lords peace. during that memorial service. It is difficult to lose friends and loved ones at any time, at 17 ones life seems jut beginning.
Prayers going up for the loved ones of that 17 year old. May the Lord comfort them and speak to them.
Nonna, May You be comforted in Gods love and peace. Thank you for that blessing wish! And I loved 'This doesn't make Sense Valley' !!!
lpkayak, I too,have to believe there is a reason. I keep thinking of the Lord reaching out to us ,
blanketing us in His love and light. Letting us know,even when we cannot understand... even when we are miserable,or feel mad,like me wanting to stomp my footy-paws. God still cares.
It hit me so hard, TxCoord called Unc' to see how he is. Unc', is ready and willing to go on to Heaven. We don't want him in anymore pain,and his body is now old and degenerating.
But we ache to think of his leaving this earth yet. I am still getting over Aunts death from Easter...if one can get over it,in this life.
Hi Bugsy, I see you are fairly new here, I am sorry that you have this illness as well. I'll keep you in prayer.
I wouldn't mind if you posted some of the scriptures here. I need the reminder of Jesus love when I feel so down like this. Both my Hubby, TxCoord and I are struggling right now.
Trying to cope, when we both have physical illness, have more loved ones who have passed away than are w/us at this point, is a difficult test. We are worn down and so weary, and with serious financial problems we cannot take a break right now.
TxC' and I, are believers In Jesus Christ, we are human,and sometimes all the pain,and grief makes us long for heaven ourselves.
We believe in The Words of the Lord Jesus,they are Life!!! Yet sometimes...the death and pain...still stings,at this point.
I have found other friends here who -believe- as well, And I am glad for this board, and all the folk here.
I'll be back later...
Jus' that Silverwolfi
Posted by rera2528 (Member # 29886) on :
Silver - at this moment, all I can post is take care. Know that people here love and care, just as God promised he does.
Posted by TxCoord (Member # 9204) on :
Thanks Rera. We do take comfort in God, His Word, and those here on Lymenet that have given so much to so many.
Many here suffer emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually and Lymenet provides us with a safe zone where we can share our lives with those who have so much in common.
Thanks to tall who have responded and even to those that didn't physically respond (I don't post on every topic either, but I read a lot of them!) but still read and think good thoughts towards us.
As my Spanish speaking friends would say, "Con mucho gusto!"
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi <<<<< Lyme Family >>>>>,
Thanks for letting me vent this out... ,many hugs to all who replied,and to those who didn't but sent kind tho'ts and prayers our way.
I am so glad for this LymeNet family,and TxCoord and I are keeping y'all in our prayers!
Jus' Silverwolfi
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Bugsy... "God Thought" needs a little boost!! Post scriptures there for everyone!
So far Unc' is still with us, so TxC' tries to check in now and again. Unc's body is just giving up...tho' he doesn't want it too.
And we recently got info' that a relative a couple three years older than me,is going thru chemo' and rad', biopsies and so on for a cancer issue. We are praying, the Doctors feel they are catching it in time... it is a bit scary tho'.
I wish all illness,and injury could be done away w/ NOW!!! I guess I am not so great in the patience dept.
Jus'Silverwolfi here.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
You and TxCrd love so deeply, Silver. That is a good thing!
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
<<<<< Lymetoo >>>>>,
Thank You !!!
I am behind on everything so trying to catch up.
Besides Li's death, we are watching two elderly relatives, going down hill. Unc' [Maternal uncle] and Treks Aunt [paternal Aunt].
Meanwhile my aged parent, got good news the other day, the dysplasia, from the esophageal cancer damage they had is gone!!! That was awesome !!!
Now, to counter that, a cousin is dealing w/ recently Dx'ed cancer , they are only about 3 years older than I am. We are praying cousins treatments work,and w/o serious side affects!
I still wish there was a way to get all the pain illnesses and death to stop!!! Gotta wait on God for that!
Jus' Silverwolfi here.
Posted by healthywealthywise (Member # 8595) on :
I totally understand this horrible burden, those events that seem to domino in our lives, at same time or cascade one after the other.
I often have to use mental tools to disengage when I can. It may sound cold-hearted (and I'm NOT), but I have to say to myself, how close is this person to me? Are they in my every day life? If not, I can't allow myself to "go there" every time I hear bad news. It will kill you and make you sicker than you are now.
I often use mental imagery to put a glass dome around and over my home -- and pushing all of the bad news out. Doesn't always work, but sometimes it does.
I also stop people from telling me sad stories as I am empathetic to an extreme degree. But I don't have to know that your brother's wife's father's stepson is sick.......please don't tell me.
It just adds to the burden, yanno? Or don't tell me about the terrible news story you've seen (about anything!). It's why I don't watch the news anymore!!!!
Mental control doesn't always help when it's someone close. Then, I cry, offer to help in any way I can and ask God to take the wheel.
But you're right, sometimes bad news comes in waves, and then I just want to hide under the covers.
I pray for folks in crisis even on days I'm so down, I'm not sure anyone is even up there to listen.........but just in case.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- I do not wish to disengage or even stop "sad things" from happening (if there is no way to stop them, of course). That's life. I WANT to be engaged - I want to be strong enough to be there for anyone in any situation.
But, my character & personality are strong but my body and cognitive skills are not at all. I just wish I could be stronger to be able to fully participate in "sad" situations better because I think it would be more fulfilling in the long run and more use to those around me, especially the person who is flux.
I feel like I failed my mother when she was so ill (I was, too, but undiagnosed so just assumed I was a wimp) - - and couldn't even travel to see my father during his last illness.
I have to wonder if it's not because of the "American Dream" and the way TV and movies have portrayed this rosy picture of what life it to be like - and then when it's messier, we are just thrown for a loop.
When we can't be in control, it's hard to all of the sudden learn how to "just be in the moment" and "meet others where they are" so to speak.
Remember, though, that ADRENAL SUPPORT and FISH OIL can make a huge difference in how we may be able to "just be" for ourselves and for others. -
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi there <<<<< healthywealthywise >>>>> ,
The 'ether' just snitched my nice reply that I had almost ready to post. I believe someone is 'up there to listen'.
TxCoord and I have had to many close calls,and we wouldn't be here if someone wasn't watching out for us. I know what you mean tho' often it feels like there is no -One- listening.
I love the glass dome idea. My favorite mental image is a beautiful cavern in a grotto,w/ a fresh water stream fed pond just off the sleep porch level.
The cavern slowly wends its way under ground, there are cocoon rooms, for when we hurt physically,mentally, and or spiritually.
We can have a favorite gentle beverage,and comforting foods,piped right into the cocoon, Soothing music too,or silence if that suits.
Then there are pillow punching rooms, and rooms to cry if ya need,lots of soft kleenex type tissue,and cucumber slices and tea bags for the eyes...
Sometimes,it's nice to imagine such things,w/ whatever kinds of rooms we need,when I just don't want to hear another bad,or sad situation anymore.
My cavern is endless, and the main porch at the top entry, has gentle breezes,and just the right amount of sunshine,and starlight.
It has beautiful quilt tops hung for privacy too and the sun/or moonbeams make it seem like stained glass.
An Aussie Ya Ya sister-friend,calls such ideas 'Wombat caves'. She loves those little critters, and some of us have had hours of fun thinking up ideas for our particular caverns,or like for your glass dome idea!!!
I have to do something when it gets to overwhelming... sometimes we do need a good cry,I think!! However to many tears can make my sufferin' sinuses a real mess.
So I try to find things to smile about too.I hear ya' about the empathy issue. I have to be careful,or I am a melted puddle of oozing emotion... to hoarse to howl...
That's not good for a Silverwolfi like me, so My TxCoord and I try to find things to smile and laugh about for our own sanity [er...uhm...our particular brand of 'insanity'... .].
Thanks for your reply ... Jus' that Silverwolfi
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
I would like to provide a little balance here. I am a naturalist and I naturally live life and grieve its natural losses.
I don't think I can stop feeling sad over people being ill and dying. It's part of life. I am there for them and I hope they are there for me.
I have close people in my family who are not doing well now, and I have an amazingly close friend who died last weekend. I grieve his loss and am grateful for the inspiration he gave to everyone he knew and who knew him. We are better people for having known him.
That's what life is, to me - a very long continuous gift. I just had a friend over who also knew him for 20 years. But the kinds of activities we participated in started long before us. We were given to by the efforts of others we never met, and it will go on as such in the future.
I'm just really sorry that we all have to suffer as much as we do. Life was meant for more than suffering it! I try to get a little happiness in when I can...
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi <<<<< Robin123 >>>>>,
"Life is ... a very long continous gift...". It is a gift, that's very true,hopefully it will be a long good life for us !!!
TxCoord and I are at an age,when more and more friends and family are passing ... sometimes to many folks in to short a time,it seems.
Sometimes I have to pull back a bit,w/ this illness tho' it seems to make the sad times multiplied more sad,if that makes sense.
I try to remember good times,w/ friends and family that have passed. TxCoord and I feel rather isolated here,
and not being able to get out and see family and friends because of illness and lack of funds is difficult for us.
It hits home... so and so passed away and we hadn't been able to visit for x amount of time...it leaves a bit of a hole.
That's where my 'Cavern' comes in to play too... I have some happy memories to think on. If I listened to the blues 24/7 I'd always be blue.
So I try to think of having butter and razor clams on the beach w/ friends who have passed on. Or playing w/ my grandparents little dog...she was a character, and I loved the property they were on.
For us here, since the year 2000, it has been one person after another, after another, who has passed away. So many are family,that I miss greatly.
I believe I will see them again...but a year w/o someone I know dying would be a rare ,wonderful gift to me too.
Jus' Silverwolfi wonderin' and wanderin'
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
True - it does help to have closure - I was able to have dinner with my dear friend before he passed away this weekend.
I guess try to be as caught up as we can, even if by phone, emailing, writing, etc. Try to make it all count with the people you care about and who care about you...
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi <<<<< Robin123 >>>>>,
It is good that you got to have that dinner with the friend that passed!!! Sometimes those precious memories get us thru!!
And 'making it count', very true...even tho' I miss those who've passed, and wish I had been able to communicate more...they'll always be in my heart !!!
It does help to ,for me,to talk about the various folk we've lost and to remember!
Jus' Silverwolfi here
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
My Mom's birthday was yesterday, she's been gone for seven years now. I think I miss her more now than ever. Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi <<<<< linny123 >>>>>, [computer will not let me add the -K- in your name.]
I know how you feel, it is hard, I lost my mom, Mothers Day Weekend of 2008.
I'm not sure we truly can get over that feeling of loss on this earth ?!?
Extra hugs for you.
Jus' Silverwolfi here
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
Silver, wow, that's tough to lose your Mom on Mother's Day.
Hugs for you too. Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
<<<<< linny123 >>>>>,
Thanks for the kind hugs... it is tough.
<<<<< Keebler >>>>>,
I missed your post on the 4th, I figure that w/us being ill,and this messing w/ the thinking processes as you mention it makes it even harder when someone we care about passes,or just sad things happen in general.
Sometimes TxCoord and I get very overwhelmed when the sad things in life stack up to much.
As an example:last summer,2011, the day of my paternal Aunts funeral in Oregon, while we were on alert in SE Idaho because of wildfire evacuations,
[we couldn't travel from our area because of health issues,exception of course being fire evacuation locally,which we didn't have to thank the Lord.]
Aunts funeral day, TxCoords oldest brother was found dead in New England. We couldn't go to either area, we prayed and checked in by phone and computer.
This year early spring, a maternal aunt-in-law passed on West Coast, I was undergoing medical tests w/ some scary unsure results. We still couldn't go anywhere.
I just don't like feeling that we can't really be there for folks. Now a cousin is going thru some serious medical problems...it just doesn't stop...
Perhaps I feel inadequate,because I cannot help,I cannot 'be there and such...
Jus Silverwolfi rambling...
Posted by gardenpeace (Member # 34393) on :
I was having a rough time dealing with life at one point last year and could not talk about it without tears. When I found out our dog had to be put down after a fast decline, on top of everything else I was dealing with, I just couldn't control the tears very well, so I called my homeopathic doc and she picked out a remedy for me that strengthened my emotions so much that I was able to spend the last couple of hours with our dog without breaking down. I know not many know about homeopathy, but it's a great medicine. I've used it for over 25 years. It's much gentler on your body than drugs.
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi <<<<< gardenpeace >>>>>,
Thanks for the reply,we've been battling a virus and some issues so I'm just getting back on line to reply.
A couple of our health and supplement stores are starting to carry homeopathic remedies. It would sure be something to check on.
On a happy note, my cousins cancer treatments are going great !!!
jus' a bit of an update here from SIlverwolfi
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Speaking of homeopathy, the pulsatilla 12x remedy really helped me feel better emotionally.
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hey <<<<< Robin123 >>>>>,
I'll see if our local health supplement place has the pulsatilla 12x I can at least price it then!!!
![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
.![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[kiss]](graemlins/kissing.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
]. I loved the Ecc. 9:11. The '911' call on God when we just don't feel we can get past the grief.