posted
Hi everyone..I have a history of severe depression, and it is at its worst point in years again right now.
Anyone else experiencing this kind of depression? If so, what treatments if any helped you to ameliorate this? I have a terrible time taking anti depressants-the side effects are literally unbearable-so any other natural options would be really appreciated.
The depression is to the point where I feel like I am enveloped in a fog and haze of sadness, and every spare moment alone I am sobbing and in a state of despair. It feels like I have lead weights strapped to me, and that everything is hopeless. It sucks, in short...the thing I am holding onto is my sense of humor. When that goes, I know I am in a dangerous place. So far I have kept that, but this depression is too heavy of a burden to bear and i would like it to ease a bit.
Any thoughts/ideas would be appreciated. Thanks Jess
Posts: 870 | From ct | Registered: Nov 2012
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Ellen101
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
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posted
Have you set up an appt with any of the naturopaths or other professionals recommended to you? Do you have a counselor you have used in the past that you could reach out to? It sounds like you have s supportive new husband as well as your father have you spoken with them as to how you are feeling?
Posts: 1748 | From United States | Registered: Dec 2011
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lululymemom
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Member # 26405
posted
Try SAM-E but only start with 50 mgs.. Larger doses can cause anxiety.
posted
Ellen, still up in the air as to which dr/direction I want to take. In the meantime, my GP who is lyme supportive but not truly lyme literate is handling my case.
I do not have a counselor, no. I haven't seen a counselor since my last hospitalization for a suicide attempt, which was 4 years ago.
I cannot talk to my papa about this..my depression TERRIFIES him and so I do not want to burden him. I also don't want to burden my partner with this...I try to stay as happy and pleasant for him as possible. Severe depression is such a burden on those around you, and I have always done everything I can to spare people my sadness. Nonetheless, it is kind of dark inside my head and heart at the moment.
Thanks . Jess
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posted
Thank you unsure! I appreciate it. Jess
Posts: 870 | From ct | Registered: Nov 2012
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lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
posted
I have to take an anti-depressant. While it's not ideal, it helps me. My husband got sick when I was post-partum and the depression got pretty bad...the anti-depressant helped pull me out of a ditch and was literally a life jacket.
You have been through MAJOR, serious traumas, one right after another, in a short amount of time...of course you feels depressed, how could you not?
Put on a life jacket: either RX or herbal to give yourself some breathing room.
posted
I think depression is as much a physical symptom of Lyme disease as any symptom we get.
I saw an MD/homeopath once and he asked me to take pulsatilla pellets 12X. I slipped one under my tongue one night. I woke up euphoric the next day and couldn't remember why!
So it might be worthwhile to contact a homeopathic doctor and see whether they might suggest you try something.
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Carol in PA
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dbpei
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33574
posted
Depression is one of the many symptoms of lyme and TBI. There are physiological and chemical changes that occur in our brains to cause it - not to mention the horrible way it changes our lives! Depression can be caused from the disease itself, as well as from die-off.
Are there any lyme support groups that your husband could take you to? It is at the support groups that you will get valuable information on lyme literate therapists/counselors and good docs/NP's in your area.
Please don't be afraid to confide in your husband about this. He went into this knowing how sick you were and I am sure he doesn't want to lose you to this awful disease - in any way.
Something that really helped me during my down period was a nutritional supplement called lithium orotate. This is not to be confused with lithium carbonate, that is used to treat biplar disorder.
Lithium orotate is an amazing mineral that protects and heals the brain. It helped to stabilize my mood, cleared my head and made me feel better when I was coping with sudden and severe hearing loss followed by roaring tinnitus and tremorous symptoms of lyme. It helped me more than celexa did, which had been prescribed by my neurologist.
My LLMD recommended L.O. to me and it made all the difference for me at that very difficult period. I would probably try this first and wait a little while before adding anything else.
Also, this is another good reason to try to find a LLNP or LLND to discuss this with for extra support. He or she might recommend the St. Johnswort and other suggestions above as well, but I would be afraid to do too much all at once. Always best to try one thing at at time and to collaborate with your lyme specialist on these things.
My GP knew nothing about this supplement and when she learned I was taking it, gasped and accused my LLMD of being a charlatan (thinking it was the same as lithium carbonate). They are TOTALLY different! She was so ignorant about this supplement and how valuable it is for those with lyme.
It is found naturally in our drinking water in different concentrations. There have been studies done that show there is less crime in areas where there is a higher concentration of lithium orotate in the water.
You don't need much L.O. to feel better. Only 5 mg 2 - 4 x per day is recommended. It is very inexpensive and can be ordered through amazon.com and a few other places online.
It is not addictive, you do not build up tolerance to this supplement, and it is very easy to stop taking, unlike anti-depressants. Many doctors feel that it complements anti-depressants and helps to prevent withdrawal symptoms when you are trying to wean off SSRI's.
There are some very good readings about this supplement and how it can help those with neuro-lyme. Good luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.
posted
Thanks so much. Jess
Posts: 870 | From ct | Registered: Nov 2012
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surprise
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 34987
posted
This may sound lame, but trying to help. This has helped me:
Having a plan. Doing your plan.
What is your plan for success here? Write it down. Who are you going to call Monday: LLND's, a recommend for a new LLMD?
How about your weight? A plan to eat every 2 hours? Setting a timer, and trying to achieve a snack, small meal, little green protein smoothie, whatever it may be,
to get your stomach and digestive trac on the mend-
Make a plan--- you can do it!
-------------------- Lyme positive PCR blood, and positive Bartonella henselae Igenex, 2011. low positive Fry biofilm test, 2012. Update 7/16- After extensive treatments, doing okay! Posts: 2518 | From USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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posted
Hi surprise...yes omg I would be lost without making a schedule for myself. I would be totally bedridden and not eating and staring at a wall, like all my previous depressions if I did not have a plan.
The hard part is doing all I need to do when feeling as sick as I am, esp w my vertigo. it makes it so hard just to even walk straight.
I have been doing terribly with eating though. I have been feeling sicker than heck w my stomach and also when I get very depressed, I stop eating. It is not a conscious attempt to lose weight or avoid food, it is just a symptom of my depression.
I will try to make a plan to force myself to eat today.
As far as drs, I am so down at the moment that a part of me does not want to even call any dr, as I feel it will just lead to further disappointment. I am debating whether to not see another llmd, which I know is ridiculous but it is how I feel at the moment. I just do not see how any dr can help me at this point. My former llmd really did try everything, and so it makes me worry/wonder if perhaps I am just one of those people that cannot improve. And I do not want to delude myself into thinking I can get better if I can't.
I am sorry to be so negative. I am just so depressed at the moment over this. Jess.
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MannaMe
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33330
posted
A pharmacist told me that most depression is caused by a lack of omega 3 fatty acids.
Are you able to take fish oil or krill oil?
Get a good brand certified to be free of mercury and other contaminants.
Posts: 2252 | From USA | Registered: Aug 2011
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posted
Hey, sweetie. I would try and work on re-populating the good bacteria in your gut. As per this article, about 90% of our serotonin is made in the gut. I have also just recently read that low vitamin D can cause depression, too.
dbpei
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33574
posted
A naturopathic or integrative doctor will help you to do things to improve your immune system and regain your appetite in order to get well. Please consider looking at alternative medicine. The ABX are just so hard on our systems and they don't work for everyone. Sometimes people have to explore and try other things to get better.
Omega 3's definitely help depression and clarity. Try to boost your omega 3's if you can. Ground flax seed sprinkled on toast or cereal/oatmeal would be a great way to get some.
Please do what you can, Jess. I am sure your husband wants you around for many, many more years. Try to find a support group. You will be surprised at how healing this might be for you. And when you have a doctor or NP in your corner who you trust can help you, it will make all the difference.
Posts: 2386 | From New England | Registered: Aug 2011
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posted
What about getting some good medical referrals before making any calls to medical professionals? You could get them from support groups and from your online state group.
I suggest getting rid of the thought that no doctor can help you. You don't know that.
Reminds me of a story of a boy asked to shovel manure out of a stable. Many would just be focused on the unpleasantness of the task.
But this little boy happily did so, and when asked why, said he was doing it 'cause there could be a pony in there.
So I suggest you continue to look for what and who is going to work for you.
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annxyzz
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Member # 20404
posted
I take fish oil and low dose of prozac or sometimes zolft ( usually rotate ) .
Check out a book called "The Mood Cure" that discusses alternatives like 5 HTP with B Vitamins and St Johns Wort . There are alternatives that have worked for people other than drugs. Personally I do not mind meds at all and think it no different than taking a pill for arthritis or diabetes etc..
It is critical that you have plenty of fish oil and B Vitamins for serotonin production .
If you go to amazon or iherb and put the words "depression " in search engine , there will be many products that you can purchase WITH USER REVIEWS . The reviews are very helpful!
There is no need to suffer ! There are many ways to deal with it !
-------------------- annxyzz Posts: 1178 | From East Texas | Registered: May 2009
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beaches
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Member # 38251
posted
Hi Jess,
There is so much good advice and support here for you. Not sure I can add too much, but here goes.
Please, please make an appointment to see both a LL therapist as well as a LL naturopath tomorrow. You will likely have to wait a bit to see them anyway, so it's really best for you to secure an appointment asap, considering your current circumstances with the depression, the GI stuff, the fact that you are no longer under the care of someone LL, not to mention all the other "stuff" you've endured.
Your previous doctor was unethical IMO for at least not referring you to someone else. If he were LL, surely, he'd have helped you secure an appt with another LL doc in your state instead of just leaving you hanging.
Please do not think this man "did everything" for you. I think we could go at this stuff for years and years and STILL not have tried everything. That's why we all need good guidance and care from the docs, as well as advice and education from friends here.
Have you ever been muscle tested for meds and supps? Have you ever had homeopathic or herbal treatments for Lyme/cos? Have things like your neurotransmitters ever been tested? Ever been evaluated/treated for SIBO? These are just a few things a good LL naturopath does. And a naturopath can help you with supplements to take for the depression--things like 5HTP and those mentioned by others above.
And IDK if your GI tract will heal by going back on IV abx. Perhaps the way to heal your gut is going a different route, like gentle homeopathics as you get your gut reasonably healthy again so you can at least eat and then perhaps resume antibiotics. There are also natural appetite stimulants you can take (quick google came up with alfalfa). A naturopath can guide you on that too.
I still am not sure by what this other doc meant by stating that your organs were shutting down due to the TPN but I am not an expert. I don't understand how/why the TPN would do that. Did this doc test your heart, lung, liver, kidney function? Were they normal? Did he offer anything in the way of supporting those organs? Guessing not. But a naturopath would.
Perhaps you needed other supports in addition to the TPN, like IV fluids, glutathione, Meyers cocktails. Of course, I don't know, but again, just throwing some ideas out there that I doubt this doc covered with you.
The other thing I really wish you would do is consult with a LL therapist. You truly, truly need to have an outlet for all of this.
I understand you not wanting to upset your father and your need to have happiness surround your new union. But YOU need to get these feelings off your chest and have some sort of healthy outlet in a safe place with someone who "gets it" and who can help you and help pull you out of this.
Just being there when you are by yourself, in a state of despair, trying to figure out your next steps with no safety net from a LL doc or LL therapist is not a good thing for you Jess. This has been going on for a couple of weeks now and it's time to move on to the next phase of your treatment.
Your friends here obviously will reach out to you as you have seen. But it's time for you to reach for that phone and set up those appointments. Please, please do that tomorrow.
posted
Beaches, thanks so much for always caring about me. You've been incredibly supportive, esp with the PMs. And you have always encouraged and defended and boosted me in a way that few others have. I appreciate it beyond the telling of it. I am very grateful to know you. XOXO Jess
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