posted
Im new here and just wanted to say hi to the community. I've been battling chronic illness for the past 4-5 years and just recently have been diagnosed with Lyme with possible co-infections. We are still trying to figure out exactly what is going on.
While finally getting a diagnosis has helped me figure out what my next step needs to be I still feel lost and so depressed and angry. I know its just the beginning of my journey and its a long road ahead but its so hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel.
Im just afraid I am starting to take my frustrations and anger out on my Fiancee and I dont know how to keep that from happening. Im not myself right now and am so frusturated. Im afraid I am going to end up pushing her away and I just dont think I could handle that mentally. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to hep control this?
On a positive note I am so relieved to have found this page! I really think this is going to help me immensely while on my path to recovery!
Posts: 1 | From Oregon | Registered: Feb 2018
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posted
Welcome!! I'll move this over to Medical, so more people will see it!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Ann-Ohio
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 44364
posted
Hey, Huckleberry! I posted a response to you on General Support. Please check it out.
-------------------- Ann-OH Posts: 1584 | From Ohio | Registered: Aug 2014
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- I wish you nourishing and nurturing. Also go back to that when you feel things are over the top.
Even when reading articles, posts, etc. - consider them all reference pieces and stop when you need to and go back to it later.
Know that REST will be your new best friend - and for good reason. REST will be your best helper, too.
With movement that works for you to help in other ways. Find a good type of movement, like walking or Qigong - to help relieve stress and help with circulation (and that helps with mood, too). If your doctor is truly LL, they have already likely cautioned you to avoid any aerobic exercise.
It's very good that you recognize the tender position you - and you & your fiancee are in. It's excellent that you recognize the need to get professional help in the matter as this is truly a very complex matter.
Be kind to yourself so that you don't over reach. One step at a time. Keep hold of, find some new joys, figure out how to appreciate beauty in arts, nature, even just the sky. That can help diffuse some stressed moments. Just stop and shift focus to beauty for a minute.
I assume you already have an ILADS educated lyme literate - LL ND (naturopathic doctor) in state -- or a LLMD out of state.
First, take a good breath. Believe me, in the state in which you live, you are extremely fortunate if you have actually found a doctor who will even discuss lyme, much less treat you.
So, in one way, it may not seem like it and the road ahead will be rough & tumble, you have light at the end of this tunnel.
So, take a breath before reading the next paragraph. I didn't want to load it up right now but it's a matter that needs acknowledgment.
If intimate, ask your LL doctor whether your fiancee should be assessed for lyme and other tick-borne infections as well. Be mindful for safe sex practices as well.
In addition to helping secure a proper LL doctor, support groups also have suggestions for not just licensed therapists but those who are also very much lyme literate.
It's wise that you both see this counselor, but each individually and then also possibly a few sessions together.
Try to put some fun into it, too, humor or scene "shifters" so to speak. These are skills that many therapists can teach.
Your fiancee - ANY partner to anyone with lyme - would likely benefit from counseling from a LL professional just as much as you will.
There are key articles that may also be good for you both to read and discuss. You might ask your doctor if they can suggest a certain therapist or support group where you might get more detail on this matter, too.
It's absolutely vital that your doctor is, indeed, ILADS "educated" so they know just how it is that lyme & other tick borne infections can affect one.
This includes understanding the toxicity issues / liver stress as well as the adrenal stressors that can sharply limit one's ability to withstand emotional stress.
When anyone is given a certain level of toxins all things can go haywire. It's harder to think, and harder to think logically. Toxins trigger "flight or flight" behavior or inclinations, too.
Lyme is one of the most toxic infections there is so be sure the liver support & adrenal support is there to help minimize the chain reactions.
Be sure that you both watch the documentary UNDER OUR SKIN and the followup, EMERGENCE.
LIVER & KIDNEY SUPPORT & and several HERXHEIMER support links, too.
Milk Thistle is the most common liver support and a good place to start. Dandelion, too.
Also vital, the "fight or flight" hot buttons are stressed and can surprise us. Just as liver support is "required" with any treatment for lyme or other TBD (tick borne disease) so, too, adrenal support is absolutely required.
Tops in this category and a place to start: Cordyceps, and Ashwagandha.
Also: clean house. Literally. Get out all scented products or harsh chemicals. Avoid any scents in anything. These put tremendous strain on your brain & your liver due to their toxins.
If you have a VINYL shower curtain, best to get that out of your home ASAP. Vinyl off-gases and can be terribly hard on the liver load & the brain's mood.
I was shocked years ago when - even after airing it out out-of-doors for 2 weeks on my deck, I had gotten so deeply depressed. It took me a month to consider the shower curtain. The day after it was banished, my mood returned to normal. Seriously.
Any addition to the toxic load can send mood down drain and that can strain any relationship.
posted
I just looked, both Under Our Skin and its sequel Emergence are currently available to stream free from Amazon if you have Prime membership.
Posts: 474 | From US | Registered: May 2014
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- You may not recall Christopher Reeve, or his wife, Dana.
As an actor, he played "Superman" in one of the top movies in the '80s (I think). As horse rider, he took a bad tumble and wound up totally paralyzed.
After working through so much and getting "settled" in a book he later wrote he stressed that since medical stuff dominated his / their day, he and his wife would make some time in the day off bounds for medical talk.
For them, it was dinner. They insisted on carrying on conversations about other things that were pleasant and interesting. You two might alter this practice for your lives.
Don't loose yourself to this illness. Even if so much is now different, keep your hopes, dreams, interests. Find all sorts of way to still be engaged with what enlivens you even if just through conversation, dreaming out loud, travel videos, etc.
Maintain your PERSPECTIVE
A quote attributed to various people of past generations, if one considers stages of health to also be seasons, consider that:
'TO EVERY SEASON, NATURE GIVES SOME BEAUTIES OF ITS OWN"
Also keep in mind what your name can convey: perhaps it might be slow to 'round that bend, still you can have shared dreams with loved ones.
Everyone needs a good "Huckleberry friend" in this world, someone with whom we can be relaxed and enjoy nature & life as it unfolds in due time.
This can be time that you and your fiancee grow closer talking about what really matters in life, finding the true simple joys no matter what the changes in landscape, so to speak.
2:15 video clip from 1961 classic film: "Breakfast at Tiffany's"
[music by Henry Mancini with lyrics by Johnny Mercer]
". . . Wherever you're going, I'm going your way.
Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend,
my Huckleberry friend, moon river, and me." -
[ 02-28-2018, 09:28 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- So that my last post does not obscure the one before it:
gz adds:
I just looked, both Under Our Skin and its sequel Emergence are currently available to stream free from Amazon if you have Prime membership. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Hi there and welcome to Lymenet - this is a marathon, not a sprint - we all have to discover what treatments are going to work for us. Best to get a Lyme-treating doctor to work with. You can post in Seeking a Doctor for one - put OR in the heading, and people will private message you with referrals.
Please don't take it out on your fiancee. This is no one's fault, and you need to put your attention on your healing right now.
I think the best thing is to have a conversation with someone about what's going on, that you don't mean to push her away, but that you need to deal with treating an illness right now.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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