Melanie Reber
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 3707
posted
hello my old friends,
do you ever feel just so lost and lonely... that you can hardly breathe?
i know its just the loss of my health i know its just the loss of my job i know its just the loss of my cat bob i know its just the loss of so many unfulfilled dreams
i know its just the damn medication...
but tonight... i just can't breathe
Posts: 7052 | From Colorado | Registered: Mar 2003
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"O-o-h Child" is a 1970 single recorded by Chicago soul family group the Five Stairsteps and released on the Buddah label . . . . . . . Vincent wrote the song for his son, Chuck.
The Five Stairsteps' debut collaboration with Vincent was originally formatted with the group's rendition of "Dear Prudence" as the A-side with Vincent's original composition "O-o-h Child" as B-side.
However, "O-o-h Child" broke out in the key markets of Philadelphia and Detroit to rise as high as #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the summer of 1970.
The track's R&B chart impact was more muted with a #14 peak, although "O-o-h Child" is now regarded as a "soft soul" classic. Billboard ranked the record as the No. 21 song of 1970.[1]. . . .
posted
Hi Melanie - so sorry to read this - I usually think of you as being busy in CO with your work! No?
If you can, I suggest that you lie down and do what singers do - put a hand on your belly and let your stomach lift it and lower it. If you want to sing a tone too, on your out breath, that's ok! Do it real slow, and at least 10 times. If you like doing it, then 10 more times, etc.
If you need to grieve, you need to grieve. There's a time and place for that. And then, I like to remind myself of the blessings that I had, for example, from having had the pet, or the work, or whatever.
And then, to clear my mind and just be, for now, no pressure, nothing you have to do. It's good to just relax.
Sometimes next plans come to me when I'm in that relaxed state.
Just speaking for myself when I'm in a bum place.
Also, can you connect with any CO Lyme support groups at all?
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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poppy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5355
posted
I know just how you feel, been feeling that way myself more than ever lately. Maybe having company in this helps a little?
Posts: 2888 | From USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Relatively new to the Lyme world...but can relate completely... No one believes me,I'm pretty sure my 4 yr old daughter has Gestational Lyme..She's been hospitalized twice for severe asthma attacks. The last one took three days in the PICU at Nemours before breaking. I've been sick for over three years roughly. Even my Husband doesn't believe me...Even though I'm certain Bb Bart and Babs are the source of his slew of ailments. It's an uphill battle but one I'm willing to fight. Thanks to this page as I've spent many a nights researching until 4 am.
Posts: 4 | From Central Florida | Registered: Mar 2015
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just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
I used to have a friend that e-mailed me once in a blue moon.
I lost this friend cause of zero contact.
I knew this friend was in trouble so I was reaching out to....
Thought they must have fallen off the edge of the earth.
oh wait,,,,,,,,,here she is!!!!!"HI MELANIE"
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
I'm sorry, Melanie, that you are going through all of that.
That is a lot of loss to cope with.
When I needed pulled out of the pit, I surrounded myself with inspirational books, music, tv shows, anything that lifts you up and gives you hope.
It works. I am praying for you Melanie.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- I've been singing "O-o-h Child" all day, thinking of you. I hope you are finding some comforts, somehow & also know that someday, you'll walk in the sun again. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Melanie Reber
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 3707
posted
thanks so much to each of you...
i guess i'm just going through the grieving process but am stuck in sadness mode
(well... and a little feeling sorry for myself mode too)
and i hate that!
maybe i'm also stuck in anger mode...
Posts: 7052 | From Colorado | Registered: Mar 2003
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Hey, there is no need to try to push away perfectly legitimate emotions. Sadness, loss, grieving . . . even anger . . . it's all part of the deal.
Good to recognize those, play a little tennis with them all, so to speak but don't keep score and just walk off the court when you need to, letting them disappear in the mist.
It's unrealistic to think we can walk around and not run into all sorts (of emotions). What they tell us is that we did have some valuable times that are still to cherished even if relegated to memory - they are part of our very being forever.
In our loss, we do not find replacements yet we can still find a spark for . . . . -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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posted
Melanie? I understand.....truly and completely. You are NOT ALONE.
{{{{hugs}}}}}
I'd never do it b/c I'm not a violent person, but sometimes I wish I could smash glasses, plates, any breakable I can get my hands on to get the frustration out!
Wouldn't that FEEL GOOD? I tried it with a tennis ball at a wall, but it didn't really do the trick. I need smashing and crashing to let, not only the sadness out, but the rage at what is happening to us ......you particularly right now.
Imagine it. SMASH A DOZEN GLASSES TO SHATTER THEM AT A WALL....... no damage done, someone else cleans it up!! I sometimes try to visualize it and it seems to help me feel better.
You might have a different fantasy for relief. Let us know what yours' might be! :-)
Posts: 867 | From PA | Registered: Jan 2006
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beaches
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38251
posted
Melanie, sometimes we just have to give in to the grief, cry and take to the bed for a day or two or more.
You are a rockstar here. And even rockstars need a break. Take some time off from all the research you do. I know you do much on behalf of your sister.
But take a break and do something just for you, aside from all this. "All this" will always be here.
Posts: 1885 | From here | Registered: Jul 2012
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posted
Instead of smashing breakables, I take empty plastic gallon milk jugs and throw them as hard as I can. Scares the cats, but makes loud satisfying noise. And sometimes ends up cracking the jug.
-------------------- no bite, fatigue for 30 yrs diag Feb '13 (maybe) homebound w/ fatigue Dec '11 Posts: 14 | From W Mass | Registered: Mar 2015
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MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Hi Melanie Fine to let it out,vent awhile. We all need that.
Bad thing about pets they don't last our lifetime.
I still have Peaches the iguana she is 12 years old at least. Just a lizard but i will miss her when she goes on to the giant rain forest beyond.
Hang in there!!!
MADDOG
Posts: 3996 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hi <<<<< Melanie >>>>>,
Hugs and prayers for you,it's so difficult to lose our fur babies, I know how you feel, it seems a lot of us are dealing w/ various kinds of losses right now.
Cry if you need to,and laugh when you can too. Laughter can be good medicine,If I can't laugh at something now and again i get way depressed.
Jus' Silverwolfi here
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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Melanie Reber
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 3707
posted
Again... so many thoughts of such gratitude to each of you. Your words, melodies and wishes of love and sympathy have helped so much during this sad time.
I realize that all of us are going through our own struggles with life in general topped by dealing with various stages of disease.
It is so unfair, but I've always tried to keep a positive attitude. Somehow, even that has dissipated.
I suppose I naively thought that Bob's passing would be easier to deal with than it has been.
Those of you that have known me for awhile also know that he has been such a huge part of my life for 17 years. He was my constant companion and my joy.
It just feels so lonely now without him and I cycle through so many mixed emotions... even though I knew it was coming... it still has hit me harder than I expected.
Thank you again for taking the time to reach out to me. Your efforts mean more than I can possibly express.
Posts: 7052 | From Colorado | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Pets are very special - sometimes I feel they're practically human, coming alongside us - I've had a couple pet cats in my life - my sister had one that played host at her parties - wouldn't leave the room until the last guest had left!
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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Melanie Reber
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 3707
posted
Miss Toots, I don't know how to add an image unless it is already being hosted on another website. Is there a way to just upload something from my computer?
Posts: 7052 | From Colorado | Registered: Mar 2003
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MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Hey Mel!!!
You could allways come to Tincups naked beach party!!!!
posted
Well they say that time heals all wounds of the heart. I think it's true, even tho you will always miss him.
Did he like to be called Just Bob, or maybe Billy Bob, how bout Joe Bob?
My sister had a cat for about as long as you did. It went through some real hard times with her. She got Lupus though after she had him for a year or so. I believe that it was really Lyme related, and the cat (Buddy) was how she contracted it.
The cat was in such bad shape at the end that my other sister had to go visit her to put it down, because she just couldn't do it, even tho she knew that it was suffering.
If I didn't know anything about Lyme Disease, I would consider getting a pet again. I don't think that I would get a cat tho, because you can't stop them from jumping up on the kitchen counter, and other places that you don't want them on.
Why don't they have wiener cats with little short legs that can't jump? Funny that it is possible with dogs, but not cats??
Hmmmm......maybe they do?
-------------------- You're only a failure when you stop trying. Posts: 945 | From U.S | Registered: Oct 2004
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dbpei
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33574
posted
Hi Melanie, What a beautiful kitty Bob was! He looks very proud and distinguised . So sorry it had to be his time. I hope you will take comfort in knowing you gave him a loving home and wonderful life.
I have 2 kitties left and I dread the day I lose either of them. That is the hard thing about being a pet owner. You feel so empty when they have to leave this earth.
You need to grieve right now. That is okay and is actually very healing for you to have a good cry and also it's okay if you are angry and need to punch a pillow.
Sending hugs your way. Posts: 2386 | From New England | Registered: Aug 2011
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Ann-Ohio
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 44364
posted
Hi Melanie, I am just so grateful to be part of this group! Aren't they the best?
My main thought was that Bob would love you to go rescue some little (or old) cat and give her/him your love and gratitude for Bob and all the pets that are a great comfort for Lyme patients and their advocates.
When you are ready…. Hugs, Ann
-------------------- Ann-OH Posts: 1590 | From Ohio | Registered: Aug 2014
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posted
I'm so jealous that you got to meet him. I have only been admiring him on Facebook all these years. Such a sweetie and well loved for sure.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Melanie Reber
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 3707
posted
Yes, Ann...
I am most grateful to be a part of this community, even though I haven't been active for awhile. I always know still that I can come 'back home' to get the answers, love and support that I need.
My most sincere gratitude to each of you who have taken the time and energy to reply here. Every post has offered to me the validation that I so craved, but better still, the opportunity to cry, laugh, reminisce and ...heal.
Posts: 7052 | From Colorado | Registered: Mar 2003
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Melanie Reber
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 3707
posted
Posts: 7052 | From Colorado | Registered: Mar 2003
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
Hi Melanie! I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Bob. In the pic you posted, I swear, he looks like he's smiling.
I lost my black lab, Rocky this past August and still miss him.
Your Bob probably went through your treatment for Lyme right along with you, like Rocky did for me.
I never knew angels could have 4 legs did you?
I'm so grateful to have had such a wonderful pet and he'll stay in my heart and thoughts forever.
I know Bob will stay with you too!
Love you!
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6147 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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. So sorry it had to be his time. I hope you will take comfort in knowing you gave him a loving home and wonderful life. 
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