Topic: DNA and the empathy gene. getting back into the real world after lyme
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
have you havd DNA tsting aand did you find out about your empathy gene? it's kind of a newer discovery
I did and my gene guy told me that I have the double variant so I have more empathy than most which explained a TON of things for me and somehting I wish id known my whole life so I didn't have to feel so sorry for every fly ive squashed or shed tears every time I think about the groundhog I ran over 15 years ago, or repeat images in my mind from news about orphaned kids in russia from like 40 years ago!
but stil eveen now knowing doesnt help most of the time because I sitll can't let go of other peoples feelings or the feelings of actually everything on earth- even trees and rocks!!
someone please help me please!!! is there anything to take to make you more numb to this? I know htat sounds crazy and the exact opposite of too much empathy is what makes psychopaths, but I am giong insane here wasting so much time and energy on how everyone else feels and thinks and reacts and all that that I can't get my self to feel happy most of the time.
tell me, is this a bad thing? I think it is damaging to me at times. like when im trying to say no to my teenager or kick my rude 20something in the pants. help me please.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- " . . . is there anything to take to be LESS empathetic anyone?"
Ask the IDSA ID doctors what they take. It seems to work for them. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Seriously, adrenal support. Sleep. Good food. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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MichaelTampa
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 24868
posted
quote:Originally posted by Keebler: - " . . . is there anything to take to be LESS empathetic anyone?"
Ask the IDSA ID doctors what they take. It seems to work for them. -
Too funny Keebler!
Lisa -- I certainly haven't ever heard any suggestions specifically for that.
The one thought comes to mind is to look at neurotransmitters and try to ensure they are optimal. You might consider testing them, and looking into support to get them in the right range. (In some cases, supplements like GABA and 5HTP can help.)
Of course, I am just speculating that these could be tied to the empathy you experience.
Posts: 1927 | From se usa | Registered: Mar 2010
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posted
This one made me laugh. I'd just send you on a practicum to the IDSA, like Keebler suggested, or most doctors, maybe institutional agencies that think bureaucracy over human needs. You could follow them around and report back here!
Actually, at this point, I'm curious now - which gene test did you take and what are the names of the empathy genes?
Is this involving neurotransmitters, as in interference with their uptake? Sounds like something affecting your emotions. I'd like to hear more about the science of what you're going through, if you know.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I think taking the right probiotics and helping your gut become healthy could improve the situation.
Did you feel better emotionally when you were doing better on your diet?
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Can you give my neighbor a big dose of your genes. He has 0 empathy a psychopath he is.
MADDOG
Posts: 3996 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
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LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
hahah, you are all so cute.
I wish I could share this- give some away- ... my own husband needs some.
lymetoo, I feel better when I stay on track with food, but that is more of the anxiety part of it that gets amplified when I stray from good eating.
but you are right, it owuld calm me more overall if I didn't have my bad days of cheating. and sleep helps, but I can't seem to sleep much now.
im at that magic age of hormone crazzies. and that is probably a big part of my worrying with the attachment of other people's problems comes into play more heavily.
I can actually get so over the top with how I fixate or ponder about how susie might kill herself, or holly might be sad becasue her fish died, or how freddy is ruining his life with whatever one ruins with!
(those are not real people or situations btw, but this is how it works)
Probably many factors in how it all get blown up with me.... and stimulants make it worse but I can't live most days without coffee any more or I collapse for hours and I hate that!
I've got a son who wants to go to college next year, for God's sake!! there is no time to sleep in the middle of the day any more.
this all brings me to tears. I kinda liked being sicker more in a better way a little bit becasue I had a better excuse (for myself) to jsut do nothing.
but when I was sicker I didn't mind spending my time that way becasue I physically couldn't do anything any way, but now I can do so much physically and my body just is wacko.
haven't found one dr that can help me with it all yet. not loking for perfection, but something .
I was told by the gene guy about this empathy problem.. he mentioned it in passing to me as it then was a recent discovery and we were into more of the anxiety issues and such back then about a year ago maybe? I thought it was more recent, but maybe not- so about a year maybe.
I didn't ask questions because it was a phone appountment and he wanted to get our business done quick and then after that
I stopped going to him becasue he got too distracted by his growing fame in the field and his office staff get really slopppy with everythign and I just got pissed off.
sigh
so, no I don't know the actual gene. this all was seen by my 23andme report that I sent him. so it is on there.
all my info is there and i think as they find new information about genes he got updates, etc. he was always getting updates- like the one for hemochromatosis.
I have this gene also , which I already knew from long ago testing before I was dx w lyme, etc and looking for answers.
BUT.. the new findings for the hemochromatosis is that what they thougt iron overload was hard to get unless you had the full genetic stuff for it, now they found that even as a carrier you have a fine chance to get very ill from iron not being processed .
this is an issue for people that never donate blood or stop menstruating for women. and I think this adds something to how rotten I feel too.
I am rambling....... sorry.
so not sure where this empathy gene was actually found, sorry.
I had tired a lot of different suppliments with the genetic guy. after months it made me change in ways that I thought were worse, so I quit him..
I know I don't make any gaba on my own but he didn't want me on gaba pills becasue it is too much without getting the whole methylation cycle working the right way. stuff like that....
I tried hemp oil. it seems to do a slight something - maybe. idk.. valerian seems to make me feel calmer. maybe I wil ltry that and see it there is a difference with empathy when I take it.
I only have been taking that when I was really freaking out so I am not sure if I took every day how it would be- in a small dose maybe?
keebler, I take tons of adrenal stuff. haven't noticced it help with empathy though. only some bursts of energy or stamina ive noticed.
what adrenal support do you suggest? has to be over the counter becasue my tests for that always come up normals and no one will treat my sx. no one ive found yet anyaway.
............................................
(breaking up the post for easier reading for many here)
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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posted
I'm wondering if it's possible for you to ask the office to let you know which pathway he's talking about?
If you could find that out from them, that's going to potentially be a big step forward in learning how to treat that pathway. Miracles happen when we improve our body chemistry!
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
ok. good idea Robin. I will put that on my list of TO DOs tomorrow. I will let you know here if / when I find anything.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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posted
You mentioned valerian. My husband takes "Nerve Blend" by Solaray and it helps his anxiety. It contains valerian and a few other goodies.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Rumigirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15091
posted
Yeah, if I could just give away some of my empathy and take what the IDSA guys take . . . ha! Not that I'd really like to be like them. What they take is easy to guess, a fat wallet from their lies!! Works for them. Sure doesn't for us.
Posts: 3771 | From around | Registered: Mar 2008
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LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
just wathced the movie HANNA.. its not new. about a girl that was programmed in utero to be a super human typpe. they mention that she was genetically modified to be stronger , faster, all that stuff for a super spy or whatever, but they mentioned that she was modified to have "less pity".
I guess that is what I have - the excess pity genes.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
FOUND IT!! yaya!!!
"The gene in question is ADRA2b, which influences the neurotransmitter norepinephrine. Previous research by Todd found that carriers of a deletion variant of this gene showed greater attention to negative words."
so ..... see what it says? "...that carriers of a deletion variant of this gene showed greater attention to negative words."
so, this has been my life, and maybe my kids too? maybe they have this same 'defect'.? and that makes them like me- super negative.
negative words. that is funny, yes, becasue I DO notice that I can tend to fixate on the negative that people say to me! wow, this is a real brain whopper.
to this that is genetic? is amazing to me. and all the times I've heard " don't be so negative"
and I didn't think I WAS being negative, just feeling and expressing in the only way I know how. it is super hard for me to speak positive words out loud.
it makes me uncomfortable sometimes. I can say I love you to those I love freely and can be happy and think happy things al lthe time,
but when peple talk it is the negative words that stick with me and then I feed on them and can't stop thinking aobut them and then I
make up scenerios in my head of how this and how that and make mountiains out of mole hills all the time.
if you look up this gene variance it sure is intereseting , and it seems that race even comes into play. my o my. it is fun and exciting reading .
to find all this stuff out about yourself and why you are like the way you are and finally have the answer and able
to say- "it is my genetics!" hahhaaaaa.... no one can dispute that. no one. makes me empowered! hehe
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
here is more, and I think I have this varient too so maybe this is what my gene guy meant as I had the double whammy for empathY?
from t he same article:
"More research is needed on how this variant interacts with variants at other genes. For instance, it has been found that people with at least one copy of the short allele of 5-HTTLPR tend to be too sensitive to negative emotional information.
This effect seems to be attenuated by the deletion variant of ADRA2b, which either keeps one from dwelling too much on a bad emotional experience or helps one anticipate and prevent repeat experiences (Naudts et al., 2012).
Nonetheless, too much affective empathy may lead to an overload where one ends up helping others to the detriment of oneself and one’s family and kin."
(breaking up a paragraph for easier reading for many here)
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
Hello !
So during my appointment with genetic counselor last night he warned me emphatically (no pun intended) about my "empathy Gene" double variant saying, "be very cautious with people , especially narcissists, because they will be drawn to you and take total advantage of your extra empathy...."
So , of course I was intrigued and needed to reopen this case on myself. I did a search on here and it popped up on this thread that I started haha.
I found out the specific gene is :
OXTR: OXTR rs53576
which is the oxytocin receptor gene.
Anyway.... there is no way to get rid of it I guess, and I haven't found anything that makes it stop or lesson- except Bart depersonalization from time to time! HA HA So I am stuck with it. what I have been doing is simply telling myself to look at the big picture when I feel overwhelmed with my empathy. I still apologize to the fly if I have to kill it but I now know that it is OK to protect myself from people (and bugs) when they cause me harm or become problematic.
case in point: the letting go of my *best* friend since high school.
I now see she has a lot of narcissistic tendencies. I feel v good about letting a toxic person leave my life. While I was afraid for years to see her go I now see how harmful it was to be around her and how I feel just a bit more healthy now.
I am also reviewing many of my past relationships and I see a definite pattern of people taking advantage of my extra empathy.
I hate to say it, but I also see it in many family members currently. so how do YOU protect yourself if you have siblings that bully you, or spouses, or kidss!??!
I cannot just break free of my bloodline, can I??? and being that I have no job or money I feel very stuck in my situation.
I have decided to try my best and make a life for myself. is that bad? I am going to try harder to get a job now and I hope I can find one that I can tolerate. I am also planning to reacquaint myself with things of interest. When you are sick you just hide away and I have forgotten so much about who I am.
I am , or was an artist, and I feel I have lost a lot of that part of me now, but I think there is still something in there for it. I set up my little 'studio' room and I am trying to get in there and actually make something. I am pretty much stuck trying to get my house together after a decade of sick and just tossing everything in a bag or box and shoving it somewhere. It really is so much work!!!
Any thoughts or ideas about how to change your life with little to no money, please tell me. Anyone know of an easy job for recovering sick -o? my brain is what is most affected, along with exercise intolerance/fatigue. those are my biggest limitations. I am actually thinking of applying to McDonalds
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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