Tincup
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posted
Or an iPhone. I don't know the difference. A "touch screen" was mentioned. ?? Mentioned also that the previous one was a Cricket?
It is for a young (13 yr. old) girl who is having a rough time and wants to keep in touch with her daddy who lives out-of-state. Her phone broke and she showed up here today crying, so it is something I'd like to fix for her if possible.
She doesn't have Lyme, but is considered a "troubled teen" who I'm going to be working with to try to get her on a better path. She also has a shaved head and is on some sort of meds- cancer maybe? I haven't asked.
Use to be I'd put the kids on a wilderness trail with a bare minimum of supplies and that worked to open their eyes. In these modern times it is a different challenge for me. I'm not prepared!
Anyhow...
If anyone has an old phone that fits the description above, one they aren't using, and would be so kind to donate for this girl it would be very much appreciated.
You can email me and I'll send you the mailing address.
Tincup
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posted
She also asked me if I had any "old make-up", which I don't because I don't wear any at all.
I don't think using someone else make-up would be a great idea, not sure, but it sounds a bit problematic (for lack of a better word). ?? Any thoughts on that?
Thinking a little makeup would make her feel less self-conscious (considering her hair situation)???
Anyhow, I may have bitten off more than I can chew with a teenage girl, so could use any advise anyone cares to share.
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
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posted
- So nice of you to offer to help her out.
Caution: make-up that has been previously opened should never be shared or passed along.
Especially, any that has ever been used by another person but also any that has even been opened can have issues with expiration date and bacterial growth.
There may be some make-up companies that have some gift / sample programs . . . even your local department stores may have some to gift to her if a call is made in advance. Just be sure the seal has not been broken. This really matters.
Once opened, there is a certain date by which some kinds of make-up should be discarded.
But even some that still has the safety seal can go out of date. Each piece should be inspected and "research" done to be sure it's not expired. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Keebler
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- For electronics, there are computer "geek" groups in most towns that often offer such items, albeit refurbished, for those in such a situation.
If that might be the case, if they don't wrap it up all nice, I hope you'll be able to do that so it does not feel like a hand off but rather a smart new-to-her gift. -
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Keebler
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- "a shaved head" due to medications . . .
would she enjoy some scarves? If so, some of the local clothing stores might be happy to offer her some choices of patterns / style that would be her style.
Maybe the cancer support groups in your town, too.
I can't give anything other than ideas that you may have already considered but hope that might light a spark.
As for make-up, another task would be making sure any sample / gift is LEAD FREE. A lot of make is not. Some other heavy metals also wind up in cosmetics and since she is on strong meds it's more important that her make-up be "clean" and safe. -
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Keebler
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- Also ask the leader of the group -- or other similar groups in town -- for which you are volunteering as to resources for such items or adventures in beauty that would suit her style.
DOVE soap / beauty has such a nice campaign for girls and women to feel good about their natural selves, you might contact their corporate communication relations dept.
All local UNITED WAY chapters have a 411 department that can connect people with appropriate resources, too. -
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Tincup
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Keebler!
As always you are a great researcher (or just a totally brilliant person) who always reaches out to help. Thanks so much!
Glad you confirmed the make-up situation. I will be sure it is unused and sealed and no lead.
I checked Dove and couldn't find a free soap/makeup section, so will read about the program you spoke about later.
And 10-4 on the phone wrapped up as a gift. Will also put her to work on a project earning it. Gift wrapped will be nice! Good idea.
I am not working with a "group" on this. I've done it in the past when parents brought their kids to me to help them be more responsible (stay out of jail) and loved doing it, so it is just something I do when the need arises.
Just haven't done it in a while and am very rusty.
This child came to my door, just showed up. She isn't asking for me to assist her, but it is obvious she could use a friend or two from what I've heard about her situation.
So thanks for all of your wonderful ideas! You are wonderful!
posted
I have an old iPhone 4 she can have, but I would have to get it cleared of info ..
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Tincup
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That would be great tutu. I think. I will have to ask her more before I say yes because I am just not at all smart about smart phones and want to be sure that she can actually use it when she gets it.
Seems there can be lots of phone types and programs that I have no clue about. My fault.
BUT, I do love and appreciate the offer. If you could put a hold on it for a few days I'd sure appreciate it. Will get back to you ASAP and let you know once I learn more details from her.
Keebler
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posted
- " . . . Will also put her to work on a project earning it . . . "
Gifts should not have to be earned. She has to know she is worthy of a gift, especially one that is at no cost to obtain that someone is passing along.
Likely her self esteem is already in the gutter. My concern is with the message.
If this is about her buying a phone, that would be a different kind of contract in advance. If she inquired as to how she could obtain a device, that a different arrangement than if someone happens to have one to provide as a gift - to help her - not to have her prove she is worthy.
On the other hand, rather than "earning it" she can learn about all the avenues that such a device can open up for her, learning about the world, etc. basically, how to use it as a library to access information that can help her in so many ways.
an iPhone is a phone AND an internet computer, right? So that may be more complex than the phone that just broke.
and that might be under warranty or somehow fixable. I would start with that, first. It's an important lesson to try to fix things rather than just throw away. And to learn her rights as a consumer when a product does break.
back to "earning" a second hand gift, though, something just makes me worry if she's been tossed around too much.
She should not be worried as to if she can prove she will "earn" it, yet just show her or arrange a tutoring session so she will learn how to use it to her advantage. Then she can put it to good use.
Key point, though: operating cost and safety training.
If used as a phone, there will need to be some kind of phone service and that can cost, of course. There may be groups to help with that - maybe some with discounts, to teach her the financial considerations and how to budget.
If used as WiFi, safety training is extra important. Such training should include how to avoid stalkers, etc. and how to find safe sites.
As she is in a demographic that is more prone to become a victim of online bullying, exploitation and even human trafficking, some very serious consideration needs to be thought about well in advance of her getting this. There are trained groups to consult for this, likely starting with your police department . . . or someone in the town library computer department, or a top youth group.
The language and methods of instruction are very sensitive so as not to scare her and make her afraid of the world yet to also teach her safety measures and how to avoid falling prey.
And adult must be a guardian, in control of the phone, the sites. -
[ 02-28-2017, 03:57 AM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
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randibear
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posted
what a shame...I just threw out bags of old makeup, unused.
I have a bunch of old phones but the chips were taken out and I don't know how much it will cost to replace them.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
I would be happy to send some brand new unopened make up !! Is there any color preference ??
Also,, how about some nail polish ?? I can send some brand new nail polish as well !!!!
-------------------- GOD IS GREATER than any Problem, failed plan, Debt, Disease, Army, Or Mountain standing in your way.. WITH GOD nothing is impossible. LUKE 1:37 Posts: 21 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Jan 2016
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Not sure if it has to be an iPhone but amazon sells some very cheap unlocked smartphones that should work with any plan. They're actually decent phones considering the price
Keebler
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posted
- Her medical condition has been in my thoughts. You say:
". . . She also has a shaved head and is on some sort of meds- cancer maybe? I haven't asked. . . . "
Are you prepared to listen if she wants to talk about whatever . . . she may be worried she will die and may be feeling very ill, etc.
Though her head might be shaved for some other reason,
You might start by calling a pharmacist and asking -- generally - what kinds or range of diagnoses might such a medicine mean, just in terms of what you might be prepared for if she wants to open up to you about it all.
And, as for many other aspects of this new and exciting (yes, indeed) relationship, the UNITED WAY information / connection to other agencies might be a wealth of material, ideas and maybe chances for things to take her mind off there seriousness of it all.
Here's to some new adventures, eh? It such a gift to be in any heart to heart relationship. -
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Tincup
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Appreciate your thoughts Keebler. Always.
The reason I am having her work for it is first because she wanted to and has too much free time on her hands and no friends to hang with.
She realizes the phone would be a HUGE gift, so that "spirit" is there and I believe she already loves tutu!
Having someone offer to do this- tutu- is an eye opener for her. My thought is she isn't treated too kindly by most and doesn't realize there are really good people out there.
Second, because I want her to be more responsible and behave herself. For example, she COULD go to the library to use a computer there, but, she was tossed out for mouthing off (anger issues). "Troubled Teen".
I am having her write an apology letter and I will take her there to apologize in person once she does.
Still... using that computer to contact her dad would require a ride to the library each time and I just can't swing that. But, she also needs to learn to behave.
I did tell her we had something in common. I too was tossed out of the library.
But, I brought a tiny snake in a small plastic container in with me. (Didn't want to carry a lot of ID books home then have to return them.)
Did fine till a nosey lady came up in line behind me and asked in a really loud voice about the container I had hidden behind my back...
Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
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posted
Sweet Mellisa,
That is a wonderful offer. Thank you! This isn't my area of expertise- laughing at how much that applies- but her skin is not black, but a dark, almost shiney brown.
In that regard she reminds me of the lovely Jamaican women I've known- about that color. Hope that helps.
I met her older, but much smaller, sister today and her coloring is so bright white she almost appears to be an albino and very possibly could be.
I don't believe they are into "sharing" much, as sometimes sisters can do. But, I am focusing on helping the younger one right now.
It is so kind of you to offer.
Oh, and the nail polish. That's how we first got on the make-up topic. I let her use mine the other day and she chose the clear polish thinking it may help her nails grown more?
But she said she likes "shiney" colors. Please don't over do it. Anything will be more than she has.
Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
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posted
Andy!
That is a great idea and a good back-up plan. Hate to admit it, but I tried looking a little, but know so little about them it was just a confusing mess for me.
I will keep that on the back burner though in the event there is a problem.
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