randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers ............and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (***!)
Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A. Nearby
Q. What is the most common form of birth control A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning A. Hands that can be judicious soft as your face. (OMG)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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I actually had a second grade student say that about "condominium" meaning condom.
Might have been a 4th grader, but my memory says second!! Sheesh!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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kidsgotlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23691
posted
This is sad but funny at the same time.
-------------------- symptoms since 1993 that I can remember. 9/2018 diagnosed with Borellia, Babesia Duncani, and Bartonella Hensalae thru DNA Connections. Posts: 1470 | From Tennessee | Registered: Dec 2009
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
So this is where Jeff Foxworthy gets his material.
You might be a redneck if......
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- TOO funny:
Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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