Topic: husband's visit to angelfire veteran's memorial
randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
we just got back from a trip to santa fe/taos/angelfire, new mexico. on our way home we stopped at the vietnam veteran's memorial in angelfire.
it was built by a father who lost a son in vietnam. his name was "david westphall" and the memorial is dedicated to all the military. it's really a beautiful place.
i just walked around as mike had entered and was looking at pictures and stuff. i noticed the boxes of kleenex placed around the room on tables. it's really quite beautiful, filled with pictures and maps.
i noticed he had stopped and was looking at a map. i approached quietly and he said "well, i was here and here, gunfight here, wounded here, second tour here and here. i was wounded here, gutshot, legs and head, evacd out here. i remember them dragging us to the copter. the medic was trying to get my insides back in. i looked down and all my intestines were by my legs and he was picking them up and trying to help me."
he kept looking at the pictures and finally said "OMG...OMG...it can't be. i know them." i could tell he was upset. then he read the names..
he said "i knew him, i knew him.. he was in my unit. a lieutenant..here and here. i didn't know what happened.."
i could tell he was upset. he never, ever talks about nam. he stood there and this man, who doesn't have a compassionate bone in his body, was crying...he choked up...
he put out his hands on every one of those pictures....and cried...
all i know about his service is that his unit was caught in an ambush and he was hit front and back. that's it, nothing else.
i really didn't know what to say. i knew he had medals. i never asked about them and he never said.
they had a book called "where are you now" which had a form that the guys filled out with their units saying they would like to contact other veterans. mike read every one and it was a huge book-- lst and 3rd, 2nd and 4th, on and on. mike was a marine.
he said well i left before this one, or hey he was a grunt, or hey a medic.
he filled one out completely and quietly put it in the book.
i couldn't take it so i walked outside. he walked to the chapel alone and was gone a long time. didn't say anything when he got back in the car.
i didn't either. i knew he was in a place i couldn't go, so i softly padded his leg and said nothing....
we left but i feel i left a part of him there with his friends...
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
No words from me can express the emotion I feel reading this and for many who served during that time there is no release. This could be the dam of emotions beginning to crack for him.
I am glad you were there to be a presence for him. Oftentimes people in grief just want someone there to listen and you were.
Tell the "Leatherneck" that the "Wingwiper" says "Semper Fi, Marine!"
-------------------- I have a good time wherever I go! Posts: 665 | From Lost Wages, NV | Registered: May 2006
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posted
That was very moving for me to read too. Sounds like it was actually a GOOD experience for him. I think TxC is right... "could be the dam of emotions beginning to crack for him."
I hope he can connect with some of his old buddies... and begin to heal.
I'm SO glad you stopped there! War does things to people and Nam vets weren't "allowed" to talk about things and be accepted when they got back.
Let's hope this is the beginning!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
Wow. randibear I'm glad that you were there with him. It sounds like he's lived through some truly horrific events. Probably explains why he's walled of his emotions, self-defense and survival. So sad.
I hope that maybe this experience will help jump start his emotional healing. It would be good for the both of you.
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
This post really touched me. I feel the nam vets got the shaft. No heroes welcome home for them. I volunteered at the USO in San Antonio and was an army brat. I often wonder about those young boys. And the ones whod served a tour already who wore those jackets so proudly. Makes me so sad. I hope your husband can find some peace.
Posts: 624 | From Oklahoma | Registered: Jun 2010
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