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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » Medical Questions » holding off suicide

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Author Topic: holding off suicide
lymewreck36
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Dear Friends on lymenet:

I have become sensitized to all my medications. My life is a minute by minute struggle to hold off suicide as the lyme/babs neurological symptoms keep me gasping inside, tied in a knot, wanting to die.

I am trying to survive on the only medication that I haven't had a blow out on yet, tinidazole. I'm taking 750 mg a day these past 3 days to hold off the death thoughts. It is barely keeping the shaking under the surface, the terror and death thoughts.

I am taking plaquenil for the babesia, but don't know how long I will be able to tolerate that either.

I am reacting to everything, including the Cowden infusions. And anything that stimulates my immune system gives me a extra hypersensitivity reactions to my medications.

My heart beat is racing......
But I asked my Dr. for Cortef to see if it would enable me to take my medications, reduce autoimmune responses to the herxes and medication.

What are your thoughts. With my heart beat racing all the time, I am worried. My blood pressure is up as it always is when I am off medication.

Also will artemisinin adapt if you don't take it with a macrolide?

mary

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sutherngrl
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Are you taking any psych meds? I had to resort to taking them due to LD causing me all kinds of mental issues. It has really helped with my mood swings and depression and anxiety. Just a suggestion.
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lou
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I suggest you read metallic blue's new post on this page, starting with "final stretch....." Someone in the thread mentions what she did about being sensitized to everything. Maybe something useful for you?
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climber
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I hope this finds you feeling a little better. i also had to go on various anti depressant drugs, etc. to help me with my poor state of mind. They did help greatly and there is a wide array to choose from. Have you ever taken a medication break? Have you tried other protocols besides Cowden? Are you detoxing enough, or treating for parasite? I am just thinking aloud and hoping something will strike a chord.
climber

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merrygirl
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if you are that close to going over the edge, you should seek inpatient help. At least they will keep you safe.
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Abxnomore
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Please get help if you need it. I'm sorry you have reached this point but reach out to those who will help you, as suggested in the above post.

Print out the contact info for the suicide prevention hotline and keep in near you.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

We are all thinking of you here at Lymenet. Try to be strong but call if you can't hold on.

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pamoisondelune
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Mary,
For treatment, buy a rife machine! You can't take abx, you need treatment, so you should grab this option, which lucky for us does exist! There IS a treatment besides drugs!

Can i help you buy one? You can PM me.

I'll help you order one! You need someone to help you!

Polly Polygonum

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nefferdun
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I am so sorry you are in such despair and feeling so horrible. Don't give up. We are all here for you.


When I started treatment the LLMD gave me Seroquil which is an anti-psychotic med. He expected me to have a melt down with the treatment - most people do. I use a very small amount and it helps me sleep. You have to use a "crutch" now and then until you feel better.

I am editing this because I read your post the end of June and understand more about what is happening. You don't say you have tried Mepron or Malarone - have you?

You say when you are on abx you get blood in your urine. You have a weight problem as well. The only thing I can suggest is to do a lot of kidney and liver support. The best diet is vegan, very low in fat with a lot of complex carbs but the least you could do is eliminate red meat and all refined/processed food, keeping everything at a low glycemic index. The vegan will help a lot and is recommended by the American Diabetic and Kidney Assoc.s

Alpha Lipoic acid will help with detoxing your liver. There are herbs people say help but I have found you have to take massive amounts.

--------------------
old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot

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scorpiogirl
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I'm just wondering if taking a break from all the meds and focusing on detox and acupuncture might help you? I know acupuncture helped me tremendously with my pain, depression and insomnia.

When you in the depth of despair I don't think your body will respond well to the medicines anyway. Perhaps focusing on your mental health for now?

[ 07-09-2011, 02:31 AM: Message edited by: scorpiogirl ]

--------------------
 -

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feelfit
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hang in there Mary. Rife sounds like a good option, suicide doesn't. Please ask for help, someone to help you figure out your next step towards wellness.

would like to hear how you're holding up-check in if you can.

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momindeep
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Thinking of you Mary.
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Jennifer70
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Prayers going out to you. ((hugs))

--------------------
Psalm 119:50
My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

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Robin123
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If you did just see Dr W, maybe it's a good idea to check in with him? That's if you did.

If you didn't, do you have any other Lyme-treating doctors available to see?

My body does not handle meds well at all, except for the one abx I can take, but I am detoxing well with FIR - far infrared sauna -

am wondering if that could detox you to reduce the toxic load so your body could start to handle more stuff again - it means finding a biomat or a portable tent.

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GiGi
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Drainage, drainage, drainage of toxins. Avoid all killing thereby adding more to the toxic overload.
This is not a herx. This is toxin overload and is dangerous.
Find someone in your country or an ART practitioner in Freiburg to help you. Look up Institute of Neurobiologie in Freiburg/ List of practitioners/ S. Schliebusch, excellent.

Wishing you the best.

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farraday
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I think we all think of suicide at times. I find that changing my place, my situation helps a lot....we go for a drive, one of my kids visits me, even taking a long bath will help change my mood. Just 5 minutes with my little grandson, reading to him....always does the trick.

I am a big part of the life of my family and I take that responsibility very seriously. Even sick, I am needed and loved as I am sure are you.

Change something, put on makeup, go outside or to the park, watch the clouds, think about just being alive. Breathe. Meditate and pray. Watch upbeat movies. I am sure we can all suggest things that boost our spirits.

I, too, agree that meds for sleep and mood disorders are great. I take Lamictal for mood swings, Bystolic to help heart slow down, Seroquel to sleep. I have worked with a great psychiatrist for years to keep these things working for me.

I am also careful not to get overly toxic. Herbal teas help a lot and pulsing abx so you don't overload is often helpful.

Don't postpone getting help. And don't be shy about "trying out" a psychiatrist to see if the chemistry between you is right. Mine has read )thanks to me) all about lyme disease and has actually found other patients with it...people who believed their doctor's "it's all in your head" theories.

See if you can find a support group near you. They may be able to help you find a good psychiatrist.

Get busy. Get help. And keep us posted!!! We all care about you!!! [group hug]

--------------------
DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick."
PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor."

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BoxerMom
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 -

For you, a rose.

I'm sorry you're struggling. Please keep fighting. You are much loved here on Lymenet.

BoxerMom

--------------------
 - Must...find...BRAIN!!!

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imagine2
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I'm so very sorry you're feeling so terrible. Please call your doctor.

This is temporary....suicide is permanent.

Keep in mind, it's the disease...it's not you!!

Sending love and hugs as you move through this...and you WILL get through this.

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AnnaOD20
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My heart and thoughts go out to you. Reaching out on this site is a good first step. Definitely call your doctor and let someone close to you know how you are feeling. You are not alone. Thinking of you.
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lymewreck36
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Hello folks:

You are so kind my eyes are tearing. I can tell you, yes, I saw Dr. W. I had one appointment. I have another one in two days.

My lyme/babs or whatever it is in my brain is so bad that being off medication means I cannot complete sentences, I shake so badly I cannot dress or feed myself, and the unceasing waves of sheer terror/anxiety, a physical thing I have no control over, slam me over and over non stop as long as I am conscious. My brain is swimming, dizzy, and people are sound so far away, and I am unable to respond to questions. It is being trapped in a hell that no human being can endure.

I don't know if anyone here has this kind of neuro stuff going on, but I wonder why God is asking me to bear this. My only thought as the terror/fear wafts over me is to escape this hell. But then I think of my children and I have to add sadness to this.

I am holding on right now with flagyl, which I think I am about to have a reaction to, took one zith today and am not sure I can continue that, tried a cleocin shot and added artemisinin, and with the flagyl/cleocin/art I got the nerves reduced, but the shaking is not under control.

I don't know if tomorrow I will bottom out on these meds...but my lyme doc and I talked over the phone yesterday and he prescribed a bunch of psyche meds to keep the suicidal thoughts at bay, and we prayed together over the phone.

I have started on effexor...which I spent 4 months getting off of last fall.....

He wants me to add klonopin and then also use xanax as needed. What do you guys think?

These are all highly addictive. My best shot at reducing medication is going to have to be dropped for now.

Is there anyone out there who has had such a situation?

Mary

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seibertneurolyme
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Mary,

Hubby had Parkinsonian tremors which evolved into myoclonus and seizure-like episodes and dystonia over the years. After 10 years those symptoms finally went away. When he first got sick he shook so hard in his sleep the bed would shake and wake me up -- sometimes he would sleep thru it and other times he would only wake up to immediately start having dry heaves.

But now all those symptoms are gone except for they act up some when he herxes or runs a high fever or gets too tired.

Hubby uses ativan instead of klonopin. For him the klonopin was too strong and caused worse mood swings. He has taken a little xanax for breakthru spells. But I would be a little concerned about combining the klonopin and xanax on a regular basis.

Hubby has been on doses ranging from 8 mg daily of IV ativan in the hospital down to 1/2 mg daily oral. He tried it only as needed and on a schedule. For him it works better on a regular schedule -- 1 mg every 6 hours is his current dose.

You can get thru this and get better.

Hubby was just diagnosed with rocky mountain spotted fever. We both think he has had that infection for the entire 11 years he has been sick but noone ever tested for it before. So keep looking -- there still could be a missing piece to your medical history.

I agree that the babs may be a big part of your problem. Maybe herbs such as neem or noni or even very high dose turmeric might be easier to tolerate than meds at this point.

Bea Seibert

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17hens
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Mary, would you consider doing ozone therapy (and IV mag. or whatever else Dr. W. tests you for) as often as possible with nothing else?

I agree with Gigi, this is toxic overload.

Please consider detoxing for a time BEFORE doing any killing therapy or meds.

You are in my prayers, Mary. I'm sorry you are suffering like this.

--------------------
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26

bit 4/09, diagnosed 1/10

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merrygirl
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effexor was a tough one for me. It was hard to get off of. If it works though that is important
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kellyjk4
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Hi Mary - I never really feel that I have any useful advice to offer people, but this time I feel I have to.

Years before I was diagnosed, suicide was all I could think about. I knew that my family would be heartbroken, so I searched for just one thing to get me through.

It's hard to think when you are so ill, but you just need one thing, no matter how small. Then you just keep going, minute by minute.

Once you feel a little better, look at each hour; then each day, and so on.

You will get to the point when you can look back at this time and thank God that you didn't actually take that step.

Please, please find something to keep you going. I'll be thinking of you.

Kelly

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Robin123
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Mary, maybe someone at the institute Gigi's referring to could help you find someone in Switzerland to work with? I'd keep asking and asking to get me to the right person or place to work with, if I were in your shoes -

I am severely chemical sensitive, such that I cannot handle most meds/supplements, but due to FIR detoxing, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, in terms of just starting to be able to handle more -

so you too need to find what's going to work for you - keep looking and reaching out, even if it means going on psych meds to pull you through.

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annier1071
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Hi Mary

I feel the same as you about using the xanax and klonopin. I have been on xanax for over 15 years at about 2mgs a day. I have a severe inner ear disorder that lyme has taken control off.

I took cannot take abx, they make my mind go crazy. I see people from a distance and my BP goes very high and heart races. I have all neuro issues. I have now stopped abx for almost a month. My lyme was never positive in testing so my llmd says I am in remission but I am still dizzy as hell and vibrating brains so I cannot walk.

I am at the same edge with you Mary, but we are going nowhere. You take that xanax or klonopin. I promise you that it will help the shaking and vibrating and calm it down for a few hours. That is why they make the medication. You need to get well and gain control over you life before you even worry about getting off the medication!!

I pray that you did take it and have had a bit more quiet rest time. Remember I am dealing with the same, only my ear damage is permanent and that is so depressing. We will both take this minute by minute and then hour by hour...I am here for you and know where your standing!!!
Much luv Ann

--------------------
Diagnosed with chronic neuro lyme 12/10 after 30 years of vertigo.2 tick bites in 3 yrs from upstate NY. Was on omincef for nine mths..zith and rifampin stopped.Remission~ All the pain and symptoms are back and I am not treating now with biaxin.

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norcal
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Mary , I am so sorry you are suffering.You are on my prayer list.
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BugBit
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Mary, I do understand. i have been there and gotten back.
It really sounds to me as if you are on toxic overload. Take a break. The medications make you sick, and the debris and wastes from all that have been killed off are accumulating. take a break, eat pure, organic foods, add some LIVING foods (Kombucha, Kim Chi, or saurkraut (living, not pasteurized) yogurt, Kefir) and trust you will feel better.
Sometimes in our desperation to feel better, we take so much stuff that is actually making us worse. Detox. I always feel better when I get off the meds. It is a step by step process, one that cannot be accomplished in one fell swoop.
Each time you take a step, take a break - you will realize that little by little, the worst is not as bad as the last 'worst'.
Understand that your body is doing everything it can, to save you! and give it a clear-out now and then, once a month for a week to start, eat only organic veg, no wheat or other potential allergens, drink kombucha, eat probiotics and try to find something that makes you happy... avoid TV and other electrical stimuli, don't sleep with a cell phone nearby - when I get to where you are, all EMF bothers me, especially the cell towers nearby.
If you need to sleep, sleep. Most animals when injured do two things, they sleep and they don't eat. Well, we need to eat so, eat clean.

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Susie R
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Mary, my son has been where you are---he had just such a reaction to the first antbiotic he was put on. He was unable to respond verbally, he was just lost in some horrible mental state and all he could do was twitch and shake.

He takes a slew of psychotropic meds: klonopin, zoloft, tegretol, lithium, lamictal, and Seroquel. He was on these before the Lyme &Co. diagnoses. Once he started antibiotic treatment, it's like these meds started to "work." In other words, I think they have been and continue to be helpful while the TBD treatments do their thing.

I would suggest that perhaps you consult a LL psychiatrist, if you can.

Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Susie

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lymewreck36
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Update:

You people are my life force. I always want to say thank you. I love you all.

These are my first calm, lucid moments today. I checked here to see what I could find.

I want to fill you in some more. I went off of all my medications almost a month ago. I was having severe pain under the right rib, radiating through the back, behind the right shoulder blade. This also seemed to make my kidneys hurt bilaterally. The pain stopped when I quit all my medication. I went off because when all this pain hit me, I also stopped urinating and had blood in the urine.

Now, my urine is normal and there is no more blood, but the lyme/babs breakthrough has been the worst of m y lifetime.

Two years ago this month, I went off all medications to do the bionic 880 treatments. I was off for 4 months. I NEVER had this kind of psych stuff hit me.

I cannot believe what is happening to me. As the psyche stuff hit me, I started trying to take meds again just to save my life. They calm down the entire scenario, so it is definitely infection causing it.

But here's the catch and I could use your advice again. NOw the pain under the right rib radiating through to the back, under the shoulder blade. My abdomen is swelling in that area as well.

When all this was happening a few weeks ago, making me go off my medidations, and I had blood in the urine, I went to the doctor here. He did blood work and said my kidney and pancreas and liver enzymes were all normal! This surprised him. And I had been running a fever of 103 in addition, but my white blood cell count was normal too.

But what I am wondering here is if the antibiotics are causing biliary pain.....and if doing a liver flush might enable me to continue with my medications without this adverse side effect from the treatment.

The only confusing thing is that the pain flares when I take the medications, but when I dont' take them, the "gallbladder" pain is not there. Does this make sense to anyone?

Could flushing be the answer?

And to those of you who responded about my psyche meds, I was very suicidal this afternoon. My husband took me to the pharmacy to fill the xanax, and I took it. I feel fast asleep, and when I woke, I felt rather normal.

My concern about xanax is my body wanting higher and higher doses. I read that this happens with xanax. Has this happened to anyone here?

I will be adding the klonopin tomorrow when we receive it. And I am already on effexor.

Maybe I will get through.

Right now my husband cannot leave me. When I wake in the morning, I beg him to lie down with me while I die from sleeping pills. My mind is totally gone....and I don't normalize until mid day after some antibiotics are taken.

I don't understand this. I shouldn't wake every morning like this. The medication should be in a steady state in my body, so why is this happening? It is the strangest thing in the world. My husband and I are going crazy not knowing what is happening.

I went to the doctor here in Switzerland yesterday and told him the entire story, chronic lyme/babs, need medication, unable to take medication.....

He told me there was no chronic lyme/babs, that I have a psychiatric need to see doctors whom I think are ignoring me, and he wanted to commit me to the hospital for suicide watch because I told him these were my thoughts.

I told him that I would not go to the hospital where people would tell me there is no such thing as chronic lyme/babs. He said I needed to consult a phsychiatrist for psyche problems, and I told him my psyche problems were from the diseases.

He said I spend too much time at the computer creating diagnoses for myself.

I can never look at that man again. We are supposed to see him on Tuesday, but my husband will be cancelling that.

That is what makes me feel so hopeless. There is no hospital I can walk into and say I have these infections....please help me. we are on our own.

Mary

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nefferdun
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Mary, I don't think there is a hospital any of us can walk into and say, "I have these infections...please take care or me". We are alone but we are not alone because we have each other. Your LLMD sounds like a good person - very caring. Forget the other doctor.

I am glad the psych med is helping you a little bit. Did the bionic 880 treatments not do anything for you? I was hoping it might be an answer.

What about IV glutathione to help get rid of toxins? Dr. B says some patients feel better "in minutes" on it. You are in my thoughts.

--------------------
old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot

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sparkle7
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Good luck, Mary. We all just have to keep finding a way to get through as best as we can. I don't know your history - What does Dr. W have to say about this? Dd the treatment with the Bionic make you worse?

I don't know why we have to go through this pain but we do for some reason. I hope you can get through it quickly.

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kelmo
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Lymewreck. When you said you had pain under the rib cage radiating to the shoulder blade, it makes me think your gallbladder and liver are overloaded. That pain is indicative of gallbladder.

It does sound like you are in toxic overload.

Psych meds are great supports, if you get the right one for you. Sometimes that is trial and error, and that part is the worst.

As for klonipin, my daughter was scared to death to get off of it. She was taking 1mg every night for four years. She is now off of it. She did it very slowly. But, it was essential to keep the night terrors at bay.

If you have a gallbladder, you should tell the doctor about this pain. My daughter has chosen to fight to keep her gallbladder, so she drinks a cleansing drink 1-2 weeks out of the month. It is filled with enzymes.

If you are still having suicidal thoughts, you must tell someone close to you. I see by your number you have been around a while. There is hope...there is always hope.

So glad you came here for support. Now, call your doctor.

Kelly

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Fogged
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When my mother was in the hospital following heart surgery she had numerous problems. Day after day, new specialists were added to her case. During morning rounds, each one would look at her chart, prescribe a med for the problem they specialized in, and then move on to the next patient.

Her mental condition deteriorated rapidly as the weeks went on. At one point, all she did was lay in bed and shake her head and moan. My wife called in a favor from the psychiatric clinic next door where she used to work. She asked Dr. T if he had time to check in on her to see what was up. He called her later that evening and seemed to be in a very agitated state himself. The gist of what he told her was this:

"Your mother-in-law is suffering from one of the worst cases of toxic psychosis I've ever seen. They've got her on just about everything, and as usual, no one is looking at the entire patient. I put a hold on all of her meds until this resolves. She is in a very precarious state at the moment. She looks very close to going into grand mal seizures right now. I cannot believe that they haven't called for a psych consult, and that you had to contact me personally to get one."

Within 24 hours she was back interacting with us, asking me, "What happened? Where did I go?"

I hate to ask this, but does anyone ever suspect that the feelings they are having are coming from the treatment itself instead of the disease? When I see what some of you are taking, I can't help but think back on my poor mom (who never did make it out of there alive) and what occurred to her because of the medications she was given.

Not wanting to stir up a hornet's nest here, but how do you distinguish which symptoms are coming from the Lyme and which ones are coming from the meds themselves?

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17hens
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Speaking for myself, my anxiety attacks, depression, depersonalization and anger issues came before treatment.

Long before I knew lyme&co was the cause, my family doctor put me on two different depression meds. The first one seemed to work for 6 months, the second one for 2 months. I said no more after that.

ALL the depression, anxiety, depersonalization and anger went away when I treated Bart & Babesia w/ antibiotics & antimalarials.

--------------------
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26

bit 4/09, diagnosed 1/10

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kelmo
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Fogged. That is a great story to remind us of what can happen. You showed wisdom in your intervention.

I see some of the levels of drugs people are on and wonder myself how they tolerate it.

My daughter was on eleven pills at one point. Many of them psyche drugs. At night, I would see her on the couch twitching as if she had tourettes.

The level of medication she was on was the highest dosage, which was what she needed when this disease increased her size by 100lbs (over three months). Now, she was back to her normal weight of 98lbs and still loaded with the max.

It has taken her nearly a year, but she has gotten from eleven pills to about three, low dose, cut in half.

Like 17hens said, this is after five years of continual antibiotic treatment.

So, keep on top of your medications, question the dosage and amount every visit to make sure you are taking ONLY what you need.

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lymewreck36
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Hello again and thank you to everyone who has taken a monent to respond. You are all my angels.

For me, being off all medication is what brought on the psyche symptoms, not the other way around. without meds, I am suicidal from the diseases in my nervous system/brain. It is a clear cause and effect.

The more antibiotics I take, the more the nervous system/brain suicidal thoughts, nerves, violent shaking receed. But I cannot take enough at high enough doses becuase of having adverse reactions to them, so that is the catch 22.

I am in shock to be in this situation, anger to be only 47 years old and walking this tight rope between barely living and insanity, and scared to death that the regimine I have worked out the past 2 days might not hold, that I might have another break through of symptoms as they grow.

Right now, after speaking to my doc in the U.S., a good man from L.A. who also prayed with me on the phone, is to take the following:

effexor 150 mg
klonopin
xanax upon rising in the morning
250 tinidazole morning
cleocin shot in butt mid day
one plaquenil becuase more causes adverse event
artemisinin 3 times a day
tinidazole in the evening
trazadone and lunesta to sleep at night

this is keeping me alive, more than 3 days ago when I spent every waking moment in sheer terror, shaking violently, begging for death, panic and anxiety rolling over me, shredding my mind and spirit....fear bouncing around in my brain insisting that there was no hope and death was the only way out. It was as if my own mind had been replaced by a demon that was ravaging me in hell.

Once I started the regimine above, I started to normalize. But I wake in the same hell every day and have to begin the battle again. I try to focus on the fact that by the afternoon, I will normalize and enjoy my children for a few hours, until the next afternoon, and that is better than never seeing them again.

I am a very large person that has not been able to loose one pound since being ill with TBD, but in the last month, I have lost 20 pounds....eating is challening. I am surviving on meal drinks. I have heard about sick people dwindling away, but now I know that feeling.

IN the afternoon, I have a good friend who is coming over to sit with me. She is an angel God sent me right before my nightmare started. God bless her. She is a special woman who has had her own suffering. She is also a registered nurse who has been told crazy things by doctors, so she understands the nightmare. She lives with a morphine pump inside her body to control severe back pain from surgeries that screwed up her body forever. She has had her own hell, and yet she carves out her life. I don't think I could get through this without her.

LOve to all of you on lymenet. Any advice on the gallbladder pain issues is welcome. I tried a flush, but it didn't work. I am so constipated from eating absolutely no food, that there was no action. I will try again.

LOve to you all once again,
Mary

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lada
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Hang in there please. Reach out to others in times of despair. Have you tried a benzo?? Blocks fear and helps with depression. Hugs!
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glm1111
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Mary,

I add to the list of well wishers and pray for your recovery. After reading what is taking place with you, I keep coming back to the possibility that you may have the Filarial Worm co-infection that is not being treated.

I was near deaths door after 4 yrs of abx until I started treating for parasites/worms. I am sure you have seen the pictures from this site

www.lymephotos.com

This is what came pouring out of me after aggressive tx with herbs and salt/c. You can imagine how sick this type of infection can make you.

Perhaps it's time to start investigating this possibility and do some antiparasitic tx. I hope you will consider this.

These types of infections are sorely being overlooked in the Lyme community. I hope you will consider this.

Sending prayers for you,

Gael

--------------------
PARASITES/WORMS ARE NOW
RECOGNIZED AS THE NUMBER 1 CO-INFECTION IN LYME DISEASE BY ILADS*

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seibertneurolyme
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Mary,

Please check the ingredient list on your meal replacement drinks. Lots of those have high levels of glutamine. When hubby first got sick and had bad gastritis (before he was diagnosed)he could not use those type of drinks because of the glutamine -- it would go straight to his brain and make his shaking much worse. Also caused increased anxiety.

He did better on baby food and bananas and applesauce -- soft foods. Juices were too sweet and caused candida issues.

A castor oil pack might work better for the liver right now. Or dandelion root tea could help.

For antioxidant support I would also get some powdered vitamin C and drink that -- goal would be at least 5 or 10 grams daily or even more if it does not cause diarrhea. Vitamin C is one of the cheapest and best antioxidants for the brain.

Bea Seibert

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nefferdun
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I am glad you have a few "normal" hours with your children in the afternoons.

Tinidazole and plaquenil were two of the hardest for me to take (in fact, I couldn't). It seems to me that they would activate spirrochetes, bringing them out of the cyst form, but then what kills them? . But getting blood in your urine is not something you can ignore. You do need to back off.

When I could not tolerate drugs I used TOA free cat's claw and grapefruit seed extract for the borellia, and Zhang's HH capsules for bartonella. Teasal root and andrographis is also good for borellia. Artesunate is a powerful derivative of artemisinin you can use for babesia. People also have great results with A-Bab. With your high blood pressure I don't think salt is a good idea but vitamin C might help. Then there is the rife machine which I never had much confidence in but even some doctors say it helps.

Smoothies are very healing and easy to digest. You could even mix some of the supplements you need into them so you are not swallowing so many pills. I love plain yogurt blended with frozen blueberries (very low in sugar and full of anti-oxidants) and a little ground flax. Chia seed has protein for energy and is very high in omega 3's. There are green smoothies too. These drinks would help your constipation and to restore gut flora. I would not use the over the counter drinks because they have sugar and/or artificial ingredients. Your kids could even help make them - they would love that.

You are in my thoughts.

--------------------
old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot

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lymewreck36
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Bless all of you a thousand times over. A thousand times.

Mary

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Catgirl
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Mary, I really think acupuncture would help you. I was so weak, depressed, undiagnosed with lyme (doctors thought it was in my head). Acupuncture got me through. I didn't know I had lyme because the description for lyme was (and still is) so pitiful and doesn't cover anywhere near the symptoms we all have.

Acupuncture and a change of diet (vegan) brought me back in a little over a year. I felt great until I actually found a tick on me and got more co infections.

I am still getting acupuncture. It rocks. You really should try it.

--------------------
--Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together).

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jlp38
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I have no advice to give but wanted to say I'm thinking of you. You'll get through this. You're stronger than you think! We all are.
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juliet70
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I'm so sorry you are feeling this bad. My heart goes out to you, and you're in my thoughts and prayers. I don't know what you or the other chronic sufferers go through - I'm really new to all this, so I can't even imagine the toll it has taken on your life and your body. I hope as much as it helps to feel listened to, that you'll keep posting here about how you are feeling. This is such an extraordinary community. I'm amazed at the generosity of people willing to share their wisdom and experience even though they are going through hell and feeling really sick.

Sending you hugs and I hope something positive happens to give you some relief and some hope.
[hi]

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