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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » Medical Questions » nervous breakdown

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Author Topic: nervous breakdown
GretaM
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I am right on the brink of toppling.

I saw a really kind and courageous doc who agreed to write a note for my work to excuse me from work for the 4 days per week that I'm on IV.

The doc didn't get to it before leaving for holidays. (for 3 weeks)


(Work won't accept a note from my LLND.)

I should've made sure I had it in my hand before I left the docs office, but I was so relieved to be treated kindly and have someone on my side for once, I forgot.

I have been in a panicked state for 2 days over this lack of note.

Honestly I've never been so sick and so alone, in my corner, fighting for myself.

I am so arthritic today I can't even bathe myself.
Let alone the bladder issues.

I honestly need some heavy sedation.

I am so distraught and so worried about being fired, but I am even more worried to stop IV abx because of a backslide. (I have already been backsliding these last three weeks or so).

I can't imagine anyone needing chemo 4 days a week needing to provide a note for their absence. Or someone with syphillis or TB having to work the 3 days in between IV treatments. Honestly.

But because in BC, only NDs are brave enough to treat lyme, it somehow makes my employer think it unnecessary for me to have IV.

Lyme has reduced my coping skills from an 8 to about a 2.

I just want to sedate myself and lay in bed for the next three weeks.

What is all this for anyways?

At this point, it is only for my cats. So I outlive them so they don't have to go in a shelter.

Seriously, I don't have anything else to fight for.

I don't need to see a counsellor. I just need a reprieve from the fear of being fired, and of losing the ability to pay for treatment.

It's a big, [email protected]*# snowball.

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dogmom2
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hugs for you.
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Told you I was sick
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Greta-

Reading your post, my heart breaks for you. I was in your exact same position over 9 years ago. All I can say is that you have to muster the courage to believe that things will get better. Somehow, you will see yourself through this situation. If ever there was a time in your life to believe that positive healing thoughts can and really do make a difference in one's healing journey/outcome, it is certainly now.

Maybe try to find some solace in the fact that so many here have gone before you in terms of dealing with this very scenario; and somehow, just somehow, they have even persevered. Also, try to take refuge in knowing that this Lyme charade will soon come to an end. And when it does, all the world will be made to see and learn about the terrible injustices and immeasurable suffering that have been waged against the tbd community. At that time, you can be assured that you will have many arms wrapped around you, and will be given the credence and care that you so desperately deserve.

Stay strong, friend,

Told you...

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surprise
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Beautiful Told you-

Greta, will be thinking of you, sending positive and good thoughts---

You will have your note from the Dr., you will.
It's not your fault he's on vacation-

They press you at work for it, tell them the truth- Dr. went on vacation, I'll have it for you in 3 weeks.

Nothing more you can do there- maybe the secretary can send a note verifying the Dr.s on vacation- or is there a another

Dr. covering/ on call who can look you up and write the note?
((hang in there))

--------------------
Lyme positive PCR blood, and
positive Bartonella henselae Igenex, 2011.
low positive Fry biofilm test, 2012.
Update 7/16- After extensive treatments,
doing okay!

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Lymetoo
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What a mess. You are right, a cancer patient would be "excused" and be lavished with concern and caring.

I would indeed call this Dr's office and see what could be done in the meantime.

You will get through this. Maybe your employer will cut you some slack.

I'll be praying for you.

[group hug]

--------------------
--Lymetutu--
Opinions, not medical advice!

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seibertneurolyme
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Can a nurse in the office write the note and stamp it with the doc's name? I would call and ask. Or are the staff on vacation too?

Bea Seibert

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sickofsick
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Sorry for everything you are going through! Hang in there!
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Judie
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Cats are the best, they got me through when I was suicidal. Hug those cats!

I'm sooooooo sorry you're going through this.

You're employer sounds like an a$$. Who's he to judge if you need IV? Is he a Lyme doctor? No!

Try to get a note from the nurse or physician's asistant.

I've never seen the doc in one office. The physician's assistant is always stamping the doc's name of stuff.

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Kudzuslipper
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Greta. Hang in. I agree with everyone you should call and ask both the office and your work.

take a deep breath and just explain it is a logistical mess. But if they just trust you. You will have their note in a little bit. Sounds like from what I have read they would be fools to lose you.

So sorry sister. Sending good vibes your way.

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Anthropologista
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Oh, Greta, my heart breaks for you too. I'm so, so sorry. Everyone's given you great advice about what to tell your employer and how to try to get some documentation from the doctor's office. You're absolutely right: if you were on chemo, your employer would be sending you flowers.

I understand why you don't want to stop IV treatment, but could you ask your ND about other options--slowing it down, lowering the dose, adding more supports for your body?

I'm so glad you have cats! Yes, you will outlive them. Two of mine, Yari ("cat") and Yina ("spirit") are 19.5 and 18.5 years old right now.

My brother and his family used to live in Vancouver. I wish he still did. I'd tell him to get over to your place and give you some help.

You are a wonderful person--very kind, funny, smart, brave. I agree that your employer would be a fool to lose you. Kwan Yin's candle is lit for you again. Hang in there.

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Catgirl
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Greta, I am so sorry you are going through this. Told you provided awesome advice. Think positive as this won't be forever. Push through it.

Rather than fear something, start with knowing you will get better. Fearing something only brings it to you, so drop that stuff. I remember Burrascano saying that his new patients who said and knew they were going to get better actually did! Positive thinking is amazingly powerful.

Imagine things working out for you, and in six months or a year you will be in a better place. You will feel better, and your cats will be there for you, and likely happy you were there for them. Hang tough friend. You can do this. I am sending positive thoughts your way.

--------------------
--Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together).

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lax mom
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Greta:

You are such a kind, supportive Lymenet friend to all of us.

I hate it that you are having such a difficult time.

Your employer can wait. Let them know a note is on it's way as soon as the Dr returns. 3 weeks is nothing in the land of HR. My gosh. They are just adding stress on you which is sickening.

What are you supposed to do, go in to work while hooked up to an IV? Of course not.

Give your pets a hug and focus on them for a moment. They need you as much as you need them.

This moment will pass. This is only temporary.

[group hug]

--------------------
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
(aperture)
http://flash.lymenet.org/scripts/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=115161;p=0

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lax mom
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Also, do they expect you to pull a "What About Bob" and hunt the Dr down on vacation to get the note?

--------------------
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
(aperture)
http://flash.lymenet.org/scripts/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=115161;p=0

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lyme in Putnam
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Greta, you have helped me with words and support. This too shall pass I know Minute at a time with this. It takes you down, to unexplainable places. You'll be ok. good thoughts [Smile]

--------------------
He took u to it, He'll you through

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TNT
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Greta,

Hang in there. We are all pulling for you! Praying you will get a breakthrough with this situation.

I know what you mean about having the scripts in hand before you leave the office. I have run into that now a few times and have determined to not let it happen again.

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Rumigirl
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In addition to everything everyone has already said, maybe an antidepressant and/or anti-anxiety med would help. This blasted disease complex is enough to bring down the strongest among us!!

Ask you ND about this. There are also natural antidepressant and anti-anxiety meds, but you probably need the actual meds (stronger).

Believe me, I know what this is like---feeling like you are ready to completely have a breakdown. Most of us do.

Make sure that you are doing enough detox. That will also help get rid of the herxes. I do coffee enemas, and I highly recommend them. You can feel better in minutes!

That isn't instead of an antidepressant and/or anti-anxiety med, however.

I send you lots of hugs and support.

Let your boss wait for the darned note, if you can't get it right away from the office.

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nefferdun
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If I could reach across space I would give you a big hug. I am really sorry and totally understand how you feel.

Remember whatever you are hitting is contributing to your depression. Two of my cats comforted me through the worst of my treatment. Thanks goodness for our pets.

I wonder if the doctor could send an email. If you could contact someone at his office and explain the situation maybe they would be kind enough to get SOMEONE to send the note.

Times like this, it is very hard to try because it seems like we are facing the impossible. Call his office and tell them how sick you are, how depressed you are and you need help.

--------------------
old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot

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GretaM
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Thank you for all your heartfelt replies everyone.

I saw my doc yesterday and he prescribed some med and supplements to help.

He says it is the lyme and Bart neurotoxins causing this.

I am to see him weekly and start IN glutatione next week.

I am also going to ask my mom to come and stay with me for a while so I am not alone when the 4th week herx hits.

I don't have the energy or brainpower to reply individually, but I want to.

Just wanted to let you guys know I am OK.

Thanks again for your kindness
Greta

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lax mom
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That sounds like a great plan.

I love, love, love Glutathione. It helps me immediately.

--------------------
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
(aperture)
http://flash.lymenet.org/scripts/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=115161;p=0

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Lymetoo
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So glad to hear that your mom is coming! She will make sure her "baby" is taken care of.

--------------------
--Lymetutu--
Opinions, not medical advice!

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Kudzuslipper
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This is great news Greta. Your Dr. Sound wonderful. And I am glad your mom is gonna stay with you. We all need to be mothered every now and then!
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patches10025
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Very interesting discussion on detoxing and Glutathione.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NHUYwD1Hrk

Some of these Systemic Formulas look very interesting.

Maybe others will try them soon.

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bigstan
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Eat asparagus tons of it. Cooked in olive oil if you want Glutathione, very high in this.

http://www.dailyperricone.com/2011/04/asparagus-the-glutathione-booster/

--------------------
HERX is a Four Letter Word!

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Anthropologista
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I'm so glad you're starting Glutathione! And it's really great news that your mother is coming.

In the meantime, is there anything good you could do to feel better and help the detox process--like an Epsom salt bath?

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coffee71
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I am sending you hugs and PM.
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Carmen
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Whey also boosts glutathione if you have it every day for a while. I use Jarrow whey
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Eight Legs Bad
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Greta is there a Lyme association anywhere near you? And even if not near you, is there at least a Lyme group which could write a formal letter on your behalf to the employer, trying to explain the issues to him?

Can Canlyme be of any help to you?

Is there a union there where you work? Could your mum meet with a union rep and get them to advocate for you?

You talked about being disabled by arthritis. If you have visible swelling and inflammation of the joints that is stopping you being able to look after yourself, you might be able to get an ordinary doctor to certify "arthritis" even if he won't admit or understand that the arthritis is caused by Lyme. If they certify that you have a disabling exacerbation of arthritis at the moment, would you be entitled to any kind of sickness benefit?

I hope things work out for you very soon. Hang in there.
Elena

--------------------
Justice will be ours.

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GretaM
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Thank you for the tips everyone.

I often wondered why I felt good after eating asparagus!

And Elena that is a good suggestion about my mom speaking to a union rep.

Thanks again everyone for your support.

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LisaK
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I hope you are feeling better Greta! I wouldn't want you to leave us. I really really like your posts here!!!!

((hugs))

--------------------
Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen

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Kudzuslipper
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Glad you posted Greta. Thinking of you!
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dbpei
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Thinking of you, Greta. Glad things are looking up. You are such a support to others. You deserve the same! [group hug]
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Jane2904
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Thinking of you Greta and glad your Mom is coming.
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GretaM
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Thanks for your kind words and your thoughts everyone.

Things are about the same. I feel like I'm on a raft alone, floating on dark water in a cave somewhere, with only a small flashlight.

I'm rambling, but you get the point I'm sure.

Will only be alone for 3 more days, so that is good.

I don't have much mental stamina to post much these days, but I still stop in to read General Support and Medical Question posts.

Greta

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Anthropologista
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[group hug] [group hug] [group hug]
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lymielauren28
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I'm really, really sorry Greta. This illness is so unfair. I hope things get better for you soon!!! *Hugs*

--------------------
"The only way out is through"

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