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Author Topic: Lyme, Depression and Suicide
kam
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Betty G has made the article more lyme friendly if you scroll down.

I tried but I confused myself.

I also want to thank the person who pulled this back up.

I had forgotten to check the box to be notified when there were responses to the thread.

Again, finding a medical person or counselor or Ph.D. who will do their homework and help is a challenge in itself.


LymeBlog News
Lexington, KY USA
Lyme, Depression, and Suicide
From MentalHealthandIllness.com
By Robert C. Bransfield, MD


"Don’t give up hope. There are answers, solutions, and assistance. There is life after Lyme."


In the late 1970’s, I treated a depressed patient who appeared to have more than just depression.

Her weight increased from 120 to 360 pounds, she was suicidal, had papilledema, arthritis, cognitive impairments, and anxiety.

This patient became disabled, went bankrupt, and had marital problems.

Like many whose symptoms could not be explained, she was referred to a psychiatrist.

However, I was never comfortable labeling her condition as just another depression.

At the time, I did not consider her illness could be connected to other diagnostic entities, such as neuroborreliosis,

erythema migrans disease,

erythema chronicum migrans,

Bannwoth’s syndrome,

Garin-Bujadoux syndrome,

Montauk knee,

or an arthritis outbreak in Connecticut.

With time, the connection between Borrelia burgdorferi infections and mental illnesses such as depression became increasingly apparent.

Photo: meridianhealth.com
Bransfield, Robert C., M.D. is a board certified physician specializing in Psychiatry and Neurology

In my database, depression is the most common psychiatric syndrome associated with late stage Lyme disease.

Although depression is common in any chronic illness, it is more prevalent with Lyme patients than in most other chronic illnesses.

There appears to be multiple causes, including a number of psychological and physical factors.

From a psychological standpoint, many Lyme patients are psychologically overwhelmed by the large multitude of symptoms associated with this disease.

Most medical conditions primarily affect only one part of the body, or only one organ system.

As a result, patients singularly afflicted can do activities which allow them to take a vacation from their disease.

In contrast, multi-system diseases such as Lyme, depression, chronic Lyme disease can penetrate into multiple aspects of a person’s life.

It is difficult to escape for periodic recovery.

In many cases, this results in a vicious cycle of disappointment, grief; chronic stress, and demoralization.

It should be noted that depression is not only caused by psychological factors.

Physical dysfunction can directly cause depression.

Endocrine disorders such as hypothyroidism, which cause depression, are sometimes associated with Lyme disease and further strengthen the link between Lyme disease and depression.

The most complex link is the association between Lyme disease and central nervous system functioning.

Lyme encephalopathy results in the dysfunction of a number of different mental functions.

This in turn results in cognitive, emotional, vegetative, and/or neurological pathology.

Although all Lyme disease patients demonstrate many similar symptoms, no two patients present with the exact same symptom profile.

Other mental syndromes associated with late state Lyme disease,

such as attention deficit disorder,

panic disorder,

obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.,

may also contribute to the development of depression.

Dysfunction of other specific pathways may more directly cause depression.

The link between encephalopathy and depression has been more thoroughly studied in other illnesses, such as stroke.

The neura1 injury from a stroke causes neural dysfunction that causes depression.

Injury to specific brain regions has different statistical correlation with the development of depression.

Once depression or other psychiatric syndromes occur with Lyme disease, treating them effectively improves other Lyme disease symptoms as well and prevents the development of more severe consequences, such as suicide.


Suicidal tendencies are common in neuropsychiatric Lyme patients.

There have been a number of completed suicides in Lyme disease patients and one published account of a combined homicide/suicide.

Suicide accounts for a significant number of the fatalities associated with Lyme disease.

In my database, suicidal tendencies occur in approximately 1/3 of ...


Lyme encephalopathy patients.

Homicidal tendencies are less common, and occurred in about 15% of these patients.

Most of the Lyme patients displaying homicidal tendencies also showed suicidal tendencies.

In contrast, the incident of suicidal tendencies is comparatively lower in individuals suffering from other chronic illnesses, such as cancer, cardiac disease, and diabetes.

To better understand the link between Lyme disease and suicide, let’s first look at an overview of suicide.

Chronic suicide risk is particularly associated with an inability to appreciate the pleasure of life (anhedonia).

People tolerate pain without becoming suicidal, but an inability to appreciate the pleasure of life highly correlates with chronic suicidal risk.

Of course, there are many other factors that also contribute to chronic risk.

For example, one study demonstrated that 50% of patients with low levels of a serotonin metabolite (5HIAA) in the cerebrospinal fluid committed suicide within two years.

Apart from factors which contribute to chronic suicidal risk, there are also factors which trigger an actual attempt,

i.e.; a recent loss,

acute intoxication,

unemployment,

recent rejection,

or failure.

There is much impairment from Lyme disease which increases suicidal risk factors.

However, suicidal tendencies associated with Lyme disease follow a somewhat different pattern than is seen in other suicidal patients.

In Lyme patients, suicide is difficult to predict.

Attempts are sometimes associated with intrusive, aggressive, horrific images.

Some attempts are very determined and serious.

Although a few attempts may be planned in advance, most are of an impulsive nature.

Both suicidal and homicidal tendencies can be part of a Jarish-Herxheimer reaction.

I cannot emphasize enough the behavioral significance of the Jarish-Herxheimer reaction.

As part of this reaction, I have seen and heard numerous patients describe becoming suddenly aggressive without warning.

I can appreciate skepticism regarding this statement.

How can this be explained? Like many other symptoms seen in Lyme disease, it challenges our medical capabilities.

In view of this observation, I advise that antibiotic doses be increased very gradually when suicidal or homicidal tendencies are part of the illness.

Although I have discussed the significance of depression and suicide associated with Lyme disease, I would like to say treatment does help.

Combined treatment which addresses both the mental and somatic components of the illness significantly improves the overall prognosis.

This is supported by clinical observation and laboratory research showing antidepressant treatment improves immunocompetence.

It has been demonstrated in vitro that antidepressants which act on the serotonin 1A receptor (most antidepressants) increase natural killer cell activity.

In addition, there are undoubtedly other indirect effects on the immune system through other neural or neuroendurocrine and autonomic pathways.

To state this more concisely - antidepressants can result in antibiotic effects, and antibiotics can have antidepressant effects.

Most depression and suicidal tendencies often respond to treatment.

Suicide is a permanent response to a temporary problem.

Many people who survive very serious attempts go on to lead productive and gratifying lives.

Suffering can be reduced.

The joy of life can be restored.

Needless death can be prevented.

Don’t give up hope. There are answers, solutions, and assistance. There is life after

[ 16. January 2008, 09:55 AM: Message edited by: kam ]

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Carol in PA
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Good article, Kam.

I googled for a source, and got this:

Lyme, Depression, and Suicide
By Robert C. Bransfield, MD
http://www.mentalhealthandillness.com/Articles/LymeDepressionAndSuicide.htm

Articles by Robert C Bransfield, MD
http://www.mentalhealthandillness.com/lymeArticles.htm

The latter is excellant if you ever need a resource to show your doctors.


Carol

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kam
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Thanks Carol....when I am able to print I do plan on printing this out and giving it to the local counseling center.
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WillBDone
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Thank you for posting this article.

I had been wondering about the effects of depression on the immune system. I have never had a problem with depression. However, at the onset of this illness found myself questioning whether or not I may have a problem brewing...

I have always thought myself a "strong" person who could handle whatever life dished out. I'm the one everyone in my family has leaned on...The "Go To" person.

This disease has been very humbling. It's good to read his comments that antidepressants improve immunocompetence. That's enough to open my mind up to taking one if things get really bad.

Very interesting!
-----------------

He wrote:


"I would like to say treatment does help. Combined treatment which addresses both the mental and somatic components of the illness significantly improves the overall prognosis. This is supported by clinical observation and laboratory research showing antidepressant treatment improves immunocompetence. It has been demonstrated in vitro that antidepressants which act on the serotonin 1A receptor (most antidepressants) increase natural killer cell activity. In addition, there are undoubtedly other indirect effects on the immune system through other neural or neuroendurocrine and autonomic pathways. To state this more concisely - antidepressants can result in antibiotic effects, and antibiotics can have antidepressant effects."

--------------------
"You play the hand you're dealt. I think the game's worthwhile."

C. S. Lewis

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Lymetoo
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Wow, amazing stuff!

--------------------
--Lymetutu--
Opinions, not medical advice!

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blackpowder
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Wow that really drives the point home. My dear friend here at l-net has been trying to help me with this for awhile now, but there is the confirmation. I was waking up every day for the last coupla' weeks listing reasons to stay here and feeling unable to stop thinking about it. (But not feeling like I'd do anything). I kept thinking "Why am I so weak?" That just added to the misery. I didn't want to burden family and friends (which added to the isolation)

This info at least validates how I've been feeling. Thanks for posting it.

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dontlikeliver
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Thanks for posting this. I am going to give it to my GP. I'm hanging on by a thread right now and although I've never taken them before, I think it's time to reach for some happy pills. I've made noises about this to my GP but he doesn't seem to take me seriously.
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tailz
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quote:
Suicide is a permanent response to a temporary problem.
I've been on disability since 2000 - and I suffered for years before making that decision. And I fought with my doctors for how many years? begging for antibiotics knowing I had some sort of infection, and all they were worried about was whether or not I was abusing the only medication that gave me any relief (Klonopin)?

Since when is Lyme temporary?

It's not a temporary problem.

I knew there was a reason I saved my "stash" of Klonopin. It's there in case I can't take this pain any longer.

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adamm
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Whatdya know! And I thought antidepressants were

immunosuppressive--I even read that in studies on organ

rejection. Well, somehow, they helped my cognition

remarkably...


I'm convinced Lyme can be a temporary problem. I personally

know one women who was bedridden for a year with this

disease made a full recovery and has had no symptoms for ten

years.

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bettyg
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breaking up the LONG solid blocks found down farther! Kam, could you put a NOTE AT TOP OF YOURS, saying I have a broken up version at the bottom. thanks my good friend! OUTSTANDING INFO here!! I missed the 1st time around.
Bettyg [group hug] [kiss]

Originally posted by kam:

LymeBlog News
Lexington, KY USA

Lyme, Depression, and Suicide

From MentalHealthandIllness.com

By Robert C. Bransfield, MD


"Don;t give up hope. There are answers, solutions, and assistance. There is life after Lyme."


In the late 1970;s, I treated a depressed patient who appeared to have more than just depression. Her weight increased from 120 to 360 pounds, she was suicidal, had papilledema, arthritis, cognitive impairments, and anxiety. This patient became disabled, went bankrupt, and had marital problems.

Like many whose symptoms could not be explained, she was referred to a psychiatrist. However, I was never comfortable labeling her condition as just another depression.

At the time, I did not consider her illness could be connected to other diagnostic entities,
such as

neuroborreliosis, erythema migrans disease, erythema chronicum migrans, Bannwoth;s syndrome, Garin-Bujadoux syndrome, Montauk knee, or an arthritis outbreak in Connecticut.

With time, the connection between Borrelia burgdorferi infections and mental illnesses such as depression became increasingly apparent.

Photo: meridianhealth.com

Bransfield, Robert C., M.D. is a board certified physician specializing in Psychiatry and Neurology

In my database, depression is the most common psychiatric syndrome associated with late stage Lyme disease.

Although depression is common in any chronic illness, it is more prevalent with Lyme patients than in most other chronic illnesses.

There appears to be multiple causes, including a number of psychological and physical factors.

From a psychological standpoint, many Lyme patients are psychologically overwhelmed by the large multitude of symptoms associated with this disease.

Most medical conditions primarily affect only one part of the body, or only one organ system. As a result, patients singularly afflicted can do activities which allow them to take a vacation from their disease.

In contrast, multi-system diseases such as Lyme, depression, chronic Lyme disease can penetrate into multiple aspects of a person;s life.

It is difficult to escape for periodic recovery. In many cases, this results in a vicious cycle of disappointment, grief; chronic stress, and demoralization.

It should be noted that depression is not only caused by psychological factors. Physical dysfunction can directly cause depression.

Endocrine disorders such as hypothyroidism, which cause depression, are sometimes associated with Lyme disease and further strengthen the link between Lyme disease and depression.

The most complex link is the association between Lyme disease and central nervous system functioning.

Lyme encephalopathy results in the dysfunction of a number of different mental functions. This in turn results in cognitive, emotional, vegetative, and/or neurological pathology.

Although all Lyme disease patients demonstrate many similar symptoms, no two patients present with the exact same symptom profile.

Other mental syndromes associated with late state Lyme disease, such as

attention deficit disorder, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc., may also contribute to the development of depression.

Dysfunction of other specific pathways may more directly cause depression.

The link between encephalopathy and depression has been more thoroughly studied in other illnesses, such as stroke.

The neura1 injury from a stroke causes neural dysfunction that causes depression. Injury to specific brain regions has different statistical correlation with the development of depression.

Once depression or other psychiatric syndromes occur with Lyme disease, treating them effectively improves other Lyme disease symptoms as well and prevents the development of more severe consequences, such as suicide.


Suicidal tendencies are common in neuropsychiatric Lyme patients.

There have been a number of completed suicides in Lyme disease patients and one published account of a combined homicide/suicide.

Suicide accounts for a significant number of the fatalities associated with Lyme disease. In my database, suicidal tendencies occur in approximately 1/3 of ...


Lyme encephalopathy patients. Homicidal tendencies are less common, and occurred in about 15% of these patients.

Most of the Lyme patients displaying homicidal tendencies also showed suicidal tendencies. In contrast, the incident of suicidal tendencies is comparatively lower in individuals suffering from other chronic illnesses, such as cancer, cardiac disease, and diabetes.


To better understand the link between Lyme disease and suicide, let;s first look at an overview of suicide.

Chronic suicide risk is particularly associated with an inability to appreciate the pleasure of life (anhedonia).


People tolerate pain without becoming suicidal, but an inability to appreciate the pleasure of life highly correlates with chronic suicidal risk.


Of course, there are many other factors that also contribute to chronic risk.

For example, one study demonstrated that 50% of patients with low levels of a serotonin metabolite (5HIAA) in the cerebrospinal fluid committed suicide within two years.

Apart from factors which contribute to chronic suicidal risk, there are also factors which trigger an actual attempt,

i.e.; a recent loss, acute intoxication, unemployment, recent rejection, or failure.

There is much impairment from Lyme disease which increases suicidal risk factors. However, suicidal tendencies associated with Lyme disease follow a somewhat different pattern than is seen in other suicidal patients.


In Lyme patients, suicide is difficult to predict. Attempts are sometimes associated with intrusive, aggressive, horrific images.

Some attempts are very determined and serious. Although a few attempts may be planned in advance, most are of an impulsive nature.

Both suicidal and homicidal tendencies can be part of a Jarish-Herxheimer reaction.


I cannot emphasize enough the behavioral significance of the Jarish-Herxheimer reaction.


As part of this reaction, I have seen and heard numerous patients describe becoming suddenly aggressive without warning.

I can appreciate skepticism regarding this statement. How can this be explained?

Like many other symptoms seen in Lyme disease, it challenges our medical capabilities.

In view of this observation, I advise that antibiotic doses be increased very gradually when suicidal or homicidal tendencies are part of the illness.


Although I have discussed the significance of depression and suicide associated with Lyme disease, I would like to say treatment does help.

Combined treatment which addresses both the mental and somatic components of the illness significantly improves the overall prognosis.

This is supported by clinical observation and laboratory research showing antidepressant treatment improves immunocompetence.

It has been demonstrated in vitro that antidepressants which act on the serotonin 1A receptor (most antidepressants) increase natural killer cell activity.

In addition, there are undoubtedly other indirect effects on the immune system through other neural or neuroendurocrine and autonomic pathways.

To state this more concisely - antidepressants can result in antibiotic effects, and antibiotics can have antidepressant effects.


Most depression and suicidal tendencies often respond to treatment. Suicide is a permanent response to a temporary problem.

Many people who survive very serious attempts go on to lead productive and gratifying lives.

Suffering can be reduced. The joy of life can be restored. Needless death can be prevented.

Don;t give up hope. There are answers, solutions, and assistance. There is life after.

*************

wow, this was powerful; when I copied this down here, all ABBREVIATED WORDS ended up showing their code numbers, so I deleted them and left ; instead of taking extra time to put ' in! Betty

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mtree
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Hi all.....

i have to say i have been seeing Dr B. since the early 90's...........he is awsome.... [bow]
read anything he has written.

i had fought for years not to take anti's... [loco] ..i thought it was like taking pain medication......or it would change me....i too called them "happy pills".....
but they are not......(kind of wish they were [Big Grin] )

they just made me feel like myself again.....really....not "happy" just myself.....i couldn't believe the difference.

i'm not saying everyone should be on them........but i do recommend getting a good phyciatrist.....and that you completly trust.

Dr.B over the years has changed mine a few times for different reasons......different symptoms...Lyme...Fibro....restless leg.....sleep...
Dr.B is worth the trip......or atleast read his stuff.

hope everyone has a good day....
mtree

--------------------
worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today

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dontlikeliver
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What Dr B are you talking about (you can tell me by PM as we're not allowed to spell out names). Do you mean Dr. R. Br? the Psychiatrist? Or Dr. J.B. now retired?

What a/d's do you take?

I just feel like a shadow of me really....a shadow in the fog.

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kam
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The good news is I was able to read this article once it was spaced by Betty G.

The bad news is my brain is not there yet to let me know what I Read....comprehesion needs work.

Cliff notes anyone?

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roro
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I don't believe that the anxiety, depression and suicide is caused by some physiological process that lyme disease causes in the brain.

I think it is desperation caused by the way lyme patients are treated by the doctors, employers, community, and even family and friends. also could be the fact that there is not a cure yet, and no hope for some.

Back when the cure for syphillis was not discovered yet (18th-19th century?), people went insane, ended up in prisons and asylums and many committed suicide. you never hear of people committing suicide due to syphillis today.

Back in the 80's many people committed suicide because of AIDS. they also had the issue of people saying it was a gay disease and it was punishment for their sins.

Medications for AIDS were not yet available, people had to go to mexico to get the drugs and pay out of pocket. many committed suicide long before their disease progressed to the point of severe suffering.

Nowadays, the risk of suicide is much less in people with AIDS.

People with other diseases, like cancer, diabetes, have less risk of suicide because they are well supported emotionally. no one is telling them the disease is all in their head, or that they are malingering, or somehow inadequate or at fault for their disease.

I believe when they find the cure for lyme, and it is recognized as a real disease, the suicide risk and depression will go way down.

I know that the only reason I was depressed was because the doctors emotionally abused me. I should sue them for mental cruelty.

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mtree
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kam.....thank you for that chuckle....
i know what your talking about.....its so true.....

dontlikeliver.....

I see Dr.R.Br.(the phyciatrist)...he wrote the articul above.....in redbank...(if you didn't get it this time I can send you a pm)

Requip....for restless leg....not on a regular basis......it can make you exhuasted the next day....only take itty bitty dose....but works.....

wellbutrin

he just put me on Lyrica......for the Fibro.... he has me take it at night so I sleep better.....sleep is HUGE...

..i wasn't getting a good rest.....he said even taking pain medication dosen't get you to the sleep your body needs....

in the past i've been on a couple other anti's....
this has been the best so far.....for me right now.

he dosen't just treat the depression......he tries to treat what can be contributing to it too........the symptoms....

I like what he said in the article about Lyme patients not getting a break.....too many symptoms....

hope that helps........
[Smile]

--------------------
worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today

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dontlikeliver
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I read that Lyrica causes weight gain...I definitely couldn't afford that.

Anyway, I might have to wait until I have my gallbladder ultrasound next week, not sure my GP would give me anything until we know what's happening in liver/gallbladder area.

Maybe by then, I'll be feeling less gloomy and won't need the A/D.

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Visual Afterimage Man
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Well if Ya'll are like me...

You have ups and downs. Some of your ups arn't quite as good as they could be, because you know its only temporary and you will be sliding back into the foggy darkeness soon.

But I've been on a strong dose of an SSRI and a low dose of an SSRI. Whats tricky about Lyme is managing those ups and downs.

As I sit here and type this.. I can tell you that I would certainly benefit from an SSRI right now. It would help my mild pain and gloomy mood.

But maybe 1 hour from now, I would tell you that I don't NEED that SSRI. I don't want the side effects that go along with them.

So... my honest opinion is... Lyme patients should be given an option of a low dose regimen of an SSRI. You might not get it right the first time. I reacted terribly to Zoloft, but responded quite well to Paxil CR.

I've been on a low dose of Lexapro as well.

I think that the low dose SSRI helped me buffer some of those ups and downs. It helped me dull some of the muscle and joint pain. It got me to a medium mood 90% of the time. Also, being a low does the side effects were small and coming off the meds wasn't that big of a deal.

Honestly... if you feel like you could improve even the slightest little bit by trying and SSRI, then do it! You have much more to gain than you do to lose.

As my family depends on my income... I find it difficult to go to work some days... But I manage to do it cuz I have to. When I was on an SSRI, I know my results were much stronger than they are now.

So yeah.. it's scary to start a brain drug.. But in my opinion.. if it gets you moving closer to feeling normal.. then it's well worth the try.

--------------------
26 months of treatment. And counting.......

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roro
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I just wanted to clarify what I meant.

I do believe lyme causes the cognitive symptoms, brain fog, even schizto tendencies or psychotic episodes. it DOES attack the brain.

but I feel most of the depression, anxiety, and suicide are caused by the abuse we have to endure.

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Clarissa
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Roro,

I humbly disagree (please take no offense) with your perspective just based on my own personal experience. My TBD's have been 85% psych symptoms. Everytime I go on abx, my herxes cause exacerbated despair, anxiety, depression, agoraphobia and suicidal tendecies.

Maybe you do not have Bart? Bart was the key to my puzzle because it explained my psych symptoms which are not as pronounced with Lyme.

I think anyone who has a history of depression, mental illness or severe anxiety accompanied with OCD should check for Lyme and ALL coinfections.

Treating Lyme helped my anxiety a lot but I think treating the Bart is going to exonerate it...finally, after a lifetime of OCD imprisonment.

Just my 2 cents.
Clarissa

--------------------
Clarissa

Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.

 -

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Lymetoo
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But there was also a lot of truth in what roro posted re suicide.

I do believe most of the depression is from the lyme, bart, babs, whatever....but the lack of support piles on us even more.

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--Lymetutu--
Opinions, not medical advice!

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mtree
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dontlikeliver.....

Dr.B has me on a itty bitty dose of Lyrica.....so the weight gain hasn't been an issue....
noone needs that.....

......my 3 cents in all of this is....
i do believe that Lyme causes depression...etc. in a physical way in the brain.....like any other area of our body....it changes it's functions...

but i also believe that the dispare and sadness....also come into play because of the lack of support from whomever....friends...work...doctors....family....

I just know that this is something that Dr.B has been helping me with for years........even in remission......what is the Lyme.....the Fibro.....depression...not sleeping....

...and I truly believe that everyone is so very different but the support has to be there whether your on anti's....sleeping pills....pain medication...antibiotics...

you have to do what makes you better and not worry about is it the Lyme...is it depression........as long as we get the right medication/or no meds for the right symptoms and get to remission.... [Cool]

anyway.....thats my thoughts.....

have a good day everyone....
stay strong......
[Smile] mtree

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worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today

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roro
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yes I have bart, and yes I had anxiety and was acting crazy, and had mental problems, and they got much better with antibiotic.

i had the rages (and they call them "lyme rages" so lyme causes then too) and was making little sense when I opened my mouth

but the suicidal tendencies were related to the hoplessness. as soon as I found a dr who would treat me, I immediately felt hope, way before the abx could have kicked in

have you ever seen movies or news stories of the husband who "drives" his wife crazy by constantly telling her the things she was percieving were not really there?

hiding her stuff, denying seeing things that are really there. it happens. they end up in the loony bintalking to themselves and really seeing things

it IS possible to DRIVE someone crazy this way

this is how my doctors drove me crazy. by constantly telling me all the symptoms I had were not really there. doctor after doctor told me tests were normal, i was not really sick, it was all in my head.

i did have one dr for 4 years who said he knew I had something, but they just didn't know what it was. it must be something not yet discovered, and they didn't know everything.

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tailz
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I agree with roro.

I have had this disease for a long time, and I never had anger issues. In fact, I very rarely got angry - even when I should have. My anger neurons are definitely firing now though, because now I breathe fire - that's what my doctors taught me to do.

I think the fact that I had to beg, plead, yell, scream, and curse at my doctors to figure out what was wrong with me and then to fight with them to continue my Klonopin without a hassle are what caused these infections to attack certain areas of my brain that, up until that point, had been protected. Cold-turkeying neuro-protective Klonopin at the peak of Lyme surely didn't help things.

The best part? - the prescribing doctor did NOT tell me never to do something like that again on my own again. And what does that tell me?

That she didn't care. That she never cared. That she thought I was abusing Klonopin and that she felt uncomfortable prescribing it.

Why don't I have a court case? Because doctors and lawyers all golf together.

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kam
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Next time I go into that dark hole, I will try and post here.

I do know something in the brain chemistry changes.

I also know that I am pretty out of it when it happens.

and I know there is a link between being able to do something each day and not being able to do much for several days in a row.

I also know that once that stuff that is going on in my head stops, I usually can't recall what was going on so it makes it difficult to tell doctor's about it in order to fix it.

I also know it is getting less and less with treatment and trying to stay within my limits ...which keep changing so that is tricky in itself.

I can't imagine being a young person and going through this.

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kam
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I do know last time I went through it....I started thinking of the people who are doing what they can to help me with this even though they have their own health problems.

So, I waited it out.

I also lost track of time and thought it had lasted much longer than it actually did.

It was about a week...3 weeks all together but a week of it was the worse.

When I was in that dark hole, I did not have logic. I could not call anyone for help. I tried and the person could not understand what I was saying. The brain was off line.

AFter getting out of it, I noticed that I had ran out of ketek...which most likely had something to do with the set back.

And I had caught a cold/flu for the first time since 2001 which also was most likely part of the set back.

But, while going through it I just had to keep breathing.

It was also Christmas Time and I could not make my brain work well enough to come up with a couple of simple gifts for my grandson's that would fit in my budget.

That really got to me.

During this set back...even the thought of being well enough to eventually be around my grandson's did not help.

It was the thought of my lyme doc, a person who is supply some supplements, the person who helped with the power chair, the person who helped with the computer and others who helped along the way and the people who are supplying the xango who kept me going this time.

Rosie was a key factor too...service dog.

[ 17. January 2008, 06:07 PM: Message edited by: kam ]

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