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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » Medical Questions » I Can't do this anymore!!!!!!

   
Author Topic: I Can't do this anymore!!!!!!
lyme987
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 22148

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I have been battling lyme, bart, and babs for two years now. I have been through hell and back, taken every antibiotic there is, followed the diet, exercised, blah, blah, blah,

I see a great lyme doc, but I feel like I just can't do it any more. I'm sitting here with tears running down my face, intensepain in my stomach and head, and want it to be over with.

I have good friends that tell me to hang on but when will it end???

I'm in such a bad place right now. I know it's probably a high herx, but I am on the ledge and want to jump.

PLease someone talk to me!!!

Posts: 298 | From usa | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jane2904
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15917

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Hi,
I am sorry you are not feeling well. Battling Lyme, Bart and Babs is sure a tough.

Do you take anything for liver support? Probiotics?

Have you started any new meds? We thought our teenage daughter was doing better.

Then she just recently started a new protocol for Lyme and Bart. She is herxing now. Bart herxes seem to be difficult.

Please hang in there. Treatment is difficult. Have you tried talking to your LLMD, he/she might be able to suggest something to help lessen the pain.

We are here for you, Hugs, Jane

Posts: 1357 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Hoosiers51
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15759

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I'm so sorry you are having a rough time.

We all have been there. If you know it's a herx, pushing through can be good. But it's also good to know when it's time to take a step back. Sometimes stopping medication can help to see "where you're at." Ask your doctor first of course!

I have taken breaks from all the meds before. Also, I've had periods where I've done just one drug in a "maintenence" kind of way, to give myself a break. No shame in taking some time off heavy duty treatment if you feel you need it....so talk to your doctor if you feel any of that applies!

Posts: 4590 | From Midwest | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lauirel
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 16640

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Ah Lyme987,

I have been at your place so many times. Its just so damn disheartening, when you spend all your money and time, and then the results aren't forthcoming as we would like.

I envisioned myslef old with grandkids someday soon, a completely different life. I had to think about if I stopped fighting, then what? That choice didn't sit well with me, and really its the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.

There is an answer to everything, sometimes it just isn't apparent.

I try not to look at daily progress but progress I have made in the years since this hell. I am going on four years!!!

Lack of substantial progress keeps me studying. It helps me to feel not so powerless and so dependent on others, including the LLMD's.

So when I think back to when I couldn't move, work, get out of bed, it seems much brighter than what I am feeling at the time.

Fear of the unknown is also a great depressor. I am scared, but I try to acknowledge that and keep plugging and learning.

There are so many wonderful people here. Some have suffered much longer, and lost much more. Lean on them, us, when you need it, but keep plugging.

Hugs....

LaurieL

--------------------
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, its the only thing that ever has.

Posts: 149 | From Kansas/Missouri | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561

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I know this isn't easy, it gets harder every time, but hold on. I feel like that - don't know when or if I'll ever get back to what I was. Day at a time, minute at a time. Take it easy - I try to tell myself the same thing. You'll be ok.

--------------------
He took u to it, He'll you through

Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lyme987
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 22148

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Thanks everyone for your kind words and replies. I went to my part-time job (3hrs) and I already feel a bit better emotionally.

thanks your support. It means a lot to me

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f13girl
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 23844

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Wow if you can do a part time job you are doing so much better than many of us! Things are not so bad!
Posts: 200 | From New England | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
RZR
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 20953

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I am so sorry you are not feeling well.

I am there with you. Lately, I just want to give up.

We just have to keep battling day by day.

Hugs & Prayers for you,
Jen

--------------------
Tick bite May 2009
Diagnosed June 2009

Posts: 2329 | From SouthEast | Registered: Jun 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
gwb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7273

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lyme, sorry for the suffering you're going through. Have you considered going the natural route with natural medicines? I did abx for five years and was near death last December. Today, I'm living again.

http://flash.lymenet.org/ubb/ultimatebb.php/topic/1/89968#000000

Any questions, feel free to pm me.

Don't give up.

Gary

Posts: 1349 | From OK | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lymebytes
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11830

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I can't tell you how many times in the last 4 years I screamed "I cannot live one more minute like this!" Somehow, I do.

I can only say, you aren't alone and really concentrate only taking it moment by moment when necessary.

There will be better days ahead and unfortunately bad days too. Hopefully we all eventually have more good than bad, that is the goal.

My LLMd always says, "LD treatment is a marathon, not a sprint, but you can get to the finish line".

--------------------
www.truthaboutlymedisease.com

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sparkle7
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
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Many of us have been where you are. Just know that you are not alone!

I wish I could say something, some drug, product, or lifestyle that would cure you & everyone here but there are no easy answers.

Just keep hanging in there! Somehow we'll get through this.

Posts: 7772 | From Northeast, again... | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251

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Lyme987 - I know you can keep going!

We all have our well-deserved breakdowns, but we all keep going. You are going to recover your health. You just have to go to he[[ to reclaim it!

Don't isolate. It makes everything scarier. Hang out with people, even if they don't understand you at all. And post here. Cuz we understand you.

Hugs and wags,
BoxerMom

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 - Must...find...BRAIN!!!

Posts: 2867 | From Pacific NW | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beachinit
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 21040

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When I feel like this I have been taking 1 day off meds, taking supplements only and as many detox measures as possible seems to help a lot.
For me its extra yogurt, lipoic acid, oat bran,
vitamin C, etc,etc. Also try to take your mental focus off being sick for that one day. Kind of a mental health detox. Try to find anything you can to laugh at. If I feel pathetic I can laugh at that, If I've been taking antibiotics for 10 out of 12 months I laugh at that. Treat your self special for that day,
kind of like a personal spa day. For me things
usually look better the next day.

Hope springs eternal,

Beachinit.

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Ideas not advice.

Posts: 448 | From Downeast Maine | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sixgoofykids
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Member # 11141

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I have been there so many times. You want to give up, run away, whatever. But you can't. Hang in there! I'm glad I did, I'm better today and so happy I kept fighting!!! Hang in there, not only can you, but you have to!

--------------------
sixgoofykids.blogspot.com

Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Erica741
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 15186

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Have you done any IV treatment? Could be that you need that extra "oomph" to kill the infections. IV is also generally better at getting into the brain, where Lyme LOVES to hide out from abx, the immune system or any threat.
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IMHisda
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 6998

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Dear Lyme987

Keep going!! I have had this for 20 years. Maybe your doc can pull back on your meds a little so you don't Herx as much- remember to keep up the antidepressants - lack of depression means you are in a better place for your body to heal. I didn't get diagnosed for 12 years (relapse from the first too-short trx) so don't use me as example but it's all we can do. I am doing better than I was a few years ago- don't look too far forward just put one foot in front of another - one day at a time. Going in for my second round of HBOT six weeks 7 days a week. There is a purpose [Smile]

--------------------
RV

Posts: 249 | From Healing in USA | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
WildCondor
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I used to be where you are...it does get better, people do heal and move on with their lives. Hang in there. You have to tough this out for the long haul, knowing that if you keep fighting you will win. Quitting is not an option.
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RESOLVED.
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 24991

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lyme987,Just my opinion...when it gets like that, try to call on Him.
Posts: 246 | From south florida | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sickpuppy
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 23846

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I just posted about my staggering depression this past week. The feeling got a little better-for now. There's no doubt this is hard. I'm only 7 months into treatment and I often feel at my wits end. But as others have said there's no choice but to press on.

Lots of hugs!!!

Posts: 702 | From North Eastern USA | Registered: Dec 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sixgoofykids
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Moving to General Support, there's a link at the upper left that will take you to the new location.

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sixgoofykids.blogspot.com

Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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