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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » troubleing times.. Whoa is me.. I hate to complain BUT

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Author Topic: troubleing times.. Whoa is me.. I hate to complain BUT
livinlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3773

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I just need a shoulder right now... I don't know what to do..
We are under threat of a wildfire in Northern FL... [Mad]
Sorry for not being on here lately Lake city, FL has an imposing threat of wildfires to the area.. I have been moving our belongings to SC for a move we planned 3 months from now.. which we would have been ready for then but now this!!!

I found it almost impossible not to get most of our stuff out of here.. [shake]
still have quite a bit left but most of my pictures and papers are now safe in storage..

I only wish we could get 1,500.00 together to get the rest of the closing fees out of the way to moved ASAP so we don't have to rebuild what little we have left of our lives..

It was not enough the Lyme has forced me out of work and poses a constant battle to both of my sons health but everything else seems to be so hard to contend with including this fire threat here ...

not having another adult to help bring things together for us is very hard to manage.. I hate this illness yeah if it doesn't kill us it makes us stronger.. well that phrase they can take it to the bank and see how much they get for it there... cause I am tired of hearing it.. and if life is hard now it will be better in the future..

I can not see my future anymore.. or if it continues this way I would sooner not be around to find out what more it can bring.. LOL

I have also heard the one .. life is what you make of it.. well I worked hard all my life and now have very little to show for it other than what is left of my beautiful family I am finding it very hard to hang on to anything since every time we seem to get a step ahead someone is placing us two steps backwards... [bonk]

so I am trying to figure out what is this all about? and what is the point anymore of trying to do anything if everything we do is going backwards

I used to be such a positive person .. but I am turning into such a negative being I almost hate myself...
The other day when we planned to move the stuff.. Our 2 dogs got into a fight with the 1 dog and torn the muscle in his leg..

I won't put the one dog, who constantly attempts to own the other dogs territory, to sleep. I know the reason why they got into it was because the vet told us never to allow the two dogs in with the one dog but with the loading of the truck came IN and OUT of doors and someone neglected to close a door behind them .. WOW what a mistake..can not figure out who did it and it does not change the fact the damage is done.. but you better beleive all my warnings are now being heeded and the doors are being closed shut NOW!
blood everywhere ..

They are all siblings.. talk about rivalry!!!

Well they are both on the mend.. but my heart and health can not take much more of what has been happening..

I did finally get my pain patches today and they finally allowed me a long needed rest .. but this will not last as the longer I stay on them the less they are effective.. I will enjoy about 2 months of not so excruciating pain...
Hooray!

Now ...does anyone have any suggestions on how to help resolve a dilemma with raising money or finding a temp loan... in order to help get us out of this forsaken place.. and begin all over in an area at least where we have friends .. I know once we get there, we will be able to manage our finances a bit better...or at least be able to deal with an emergency every now and again.. not like the way it is here..

or even on how to manage these darn dogs?
I am so perplexed and maybe just to sound off will make this feel a little better...

I hate to think I struggled all these years worked doubles, raised my family and still run into so much resistance.. with every breath I take .. I want my health back.. I remember all those years growing up hearing ... take care of your health because once you loose it you have nothing...

I used to think I have so much energy I will never get sick.. and here at 46 I am a wasted life.. I did nothing to deserve this.. and if I did I would like to know exactly what it was I did do wrong..

I now there were times I stayed up hours on end working doubles.. but as a single mom you kind'a have to .. and maybe I didnt always eat what I should have.. but hey you only live once nad if you can't enjoy the time you have here then the quality is not there.. so thinking this way.. and finding out my quality was cut almost in half if not even more since I was never really that healthy as a child through to now..

but I am thankful for the periods in between until 1995 when it all began to fall apart health wise that at least I had a few great years.

Also that my children are not turning their backs on me to rot in some hole somewhere.. but their health is worse than mine was when I was their age.. so what do they have to look forward to, if there is no cure for this blasted disease?
I thank you all for being here and listening..

and I know that no body can solve our problems for us .. but being able to share and dump sometimes is a blessing.. [group hug]
hugs to you all and thank you again
Linda D

--------------------
"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it."

Posts: 1389 | From who knows, who cares, but somewhere over the rainbow | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
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Dear LiveinLyme,

You sure do have a full plate...it is so easy to get discouraged....

Remember, some of that is the Lyme talking for you.

Lyme just makes things so much harder....

Do you have a local church that you belong to?

They may be able to help with a donation to your family...

I am sending you healing prayers and prayers for a positive outcome for you and your family.

Hugs,

Geneal

Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
livinlyme
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Thanks Geneal,

but I have not been able to get to a church. my back problems limit my ability a great deal. it is enough to make a trip to the doctors (3 hours away every 3 months) and even then my sons need to drive me in.

I have trouble arranging time for them to take off work.. Like I said the move down here was for my health, but the problems that came with moving here (too costly, not much help from the local community for medical or financial) are more than we can deal with.

At least in PA they helped our family out..
I can not live up north where there is cold weather .. never ever...unless i grow gills and stay in a hot tub... 24-7.. seems that would be the only time i have no pain when emmersed fuly in water...

here there is so much red tape and I was even told I had to get to the office to get help after i explained to them that I had sent a number of emails asking for help.. even after seeing how difficult it is for me to get around.

I went off on them and told them that is ridiculous some people can not make a trip in how do they get help? then they told me I had a bad attitude and asked me why I move to FL? wasn't there some other place I could go or why can't I go back to PA?

My mother firmly believes that Fl in particular does not want people coming down here unless they have alot of money and will do whatever they can to get them to go home or move out.. I wonder if they would help me get the money to get out >>>LOL

I was told by the local ER doctor that there was nothing wrong with my back the only thing I needed to do was get a job excersize and loose weight..

I have had 2 major back surgeries... I had been on lortabs for over 3 years and they did little if nothing for my pain... after the first year, once I finally got to pain management..

they put me on duragesic which is paralell to morphine... that is when i had coverage now I have no coverage and it took me 10 weeks to get on a PAP program to get my perscriptions...

I have about 2 months before the patches will have little to no effect on the pain .. I have been here before .. but it is nice not to have the constant severe pain for a while. I finally got a straight 3 hours of blessed sleep.
anyhow Thank you for the thoughts, prayers and suggestions
...
I guess we just sit and wait to see what happens next...
Anyone want to help clear my plate.. hehe

--------------------
"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it."

Posts: 1389 | From who knows, who cares, but somewhere over the rainbow | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hopeful123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
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hello livinlyme

you sound as if you are going through a truly dreadful time. i am so sorry you got robbed of life as you knew it. that is so hard.

i don't know what i can say that you haven't heard before somewhere or other. when we are broken down it's like a vase that's cracked and through those cracks, the light shines in.

please ask your higher power or God or the Universe to help you. i will do this, also. may there be healing and peace within you and around you.

all the best
hopeful123 [group hug]

--------------------
some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield  -

Posts: 1160 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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