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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » Really Depressed

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Author Topic: Really Depressed
Draba
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Member # 14589

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Hello all. I've been fighting this for 2 years now, and recently had to drop out of high school. It looks like I can't go back, and will have to get a GED, go to junior college, then college (I want to be a DR). Although I am glad I'm not in school, it only adds to my depression. I am usually a really really really happy person, but not anymore. I have never been this unhappy in my life. Although I am not quite as sick as I have been in the past, I am sick enough that I can't do anything, but not so sick that I can lie in bed all day.

I am beginning to worry that I might hurt myself. I am the sort of person that needs a goal, and right now, I have no idea when I'll get better, or be able to read, write, draw, hike, ride horses (my life), do school work, etc.

I am just wondering how all of you pull through it. Sometimes I'm OK, and other times I'm not. In other words, the really bad depression comes and goes.

The only thing I can think of that would give my life purpose is a puppy (yes, I know they are a LOT of work and commitment), but my parents won't let me get one. Even if they would say yes when I'm better, but no. I have to move out (another reason why I have to get better quickly).

I guess what I want to know is what you all do to stay sane and happy. Do you have any idea of what I can do?

Thanks,

Draba

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Really tired of being sick. Wanting to go to college and have a life. Really happy that I have a puppy.

Posts: 66 | From My room | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Angelica
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Sorry you are feeling depressed.

Do you have a neighbor with a dog you can borrow once in awhile? My neighbor's dog comes over often and he is a very happy dog and makes me laugh all the time.

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Draba
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We have 2 dogs. One was actually mine, but she follows my dad around, and is really lazy. She is also HUGE, and I wanted a small dog. It is almost worse to have a dog that ignores you than not to have one.

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Really tired of being sick. Wanting to go to college and have a life. Really happy that I have a puppy.

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Angelica
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Can you borrow a little one? You could put an ad on craigslist saying you would like to borrow a little puppy and why.
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Hoosiers51
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Sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time Draba!

Hang in there!!! I hope you are seeing a good LLMD that you trust, because getting better will ultimately be the best validation! Don't be afraid to switch doctors later on if you aren't making enough progress....if that is possible. Always research and be active in your protocol, regardless.

That said....

When I was too sick to do much, I found a few things that got me through. One was TV. I got really excited about all my favorite shows. I would watch HGTV, Anthony Bourdain, etc etc etc....

There are a few other goofy things. I'm not sure if you're male or female or what your likes or dislikes are. I got really into desconstructing my old clothes, and stitching weird things onto them...went through a phase where I redecorated my bedroom with posters....just the dumbest things to pass the time!

Lately now that I'm a little healthier I have taken up cooking. Baking is another hobby that is less "intense" than normal cooking. If you have a special diet, maybe you could order an easy vegan baking cook book, for example?

Also sometimes I would drive to Hobby Lobby and just wander around with like 10 bucks. It was nice from time to time to get out of the house, even if it was in my PJs and even if I hadn't showered in days.

Sometimes it is the stupid little things that get you through.

Worry about school when you are feeling better, and in the mean time, pursue interests or anything to distract your mind.....even if they are lame like buying some kind of paint-by-numbers thing that a 10 year old would enjoy.

I am not ashamed to say that when I was super fatigued and had no brain power, I would do crafts many adults would be embarrassed to do (think: children's clay).

But those are examples of silly things "I" would do....just unleash your inner boredom and find things to distract yourself with!

Also, buying a set of very light weights and starting some kind of light lifting program may give you something to shoot for on days you are up to it.

The puppy may be a loosing battle right now, but I'm sure you can find other things to keep yourself happy until you start to see progress!

I know how it feels to be depressed and feel powerless, living with your folks. It is hard. Know you are not alone and there are people who care, like us.

Hang in there! Hugs and smiles!!!! [group hug]

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Draba
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Thanks everybody. Hoosiers51, I will definately consider some of your ideas. I had been wanting to organize a walk to raise money for kids in Africa (Burkina Faso, to be exact). I only costs $5 a year per child, but most families don't have the extra $$. I didn't have time before, but maybe I will now. I'm also looking into Bonsai.

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Really tired of being sick. Wanting to go to college and have a life. Really happy that I have a puppy.

Posts: 66 | From My room | Registered: Feb 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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