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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » lack of family support

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Author Topic: lack of family support
IMHisda
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So sick of having no family support and all the

family members that think I'm lying about my

symptoms.

I just got an email about how awful it

was that my husband and I bought a foreign car

(since most of my family's bread and butter is

the American auto industry) and I responded that

I think it's worse that they have never believed

me and the reason we bought one is that it was

the only one I could find that didn't absolutely

kill my neck, since they are at such a severe

angle now. No one even seemed to give a rip

about why we had to get a foreign car!

OK, I'm convinced I need "I told you I was sick"

written on my grave marker.

--------------------
RV

Posts: 249 | From Healing in USA | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lou
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Yes, frequently families are not as supportive as we could wish. Friends also.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kam
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RB

I would not have even responded to that email. Wasted use of precious energy and added stress which we don't need. I heard one person say that she learned when she first got sick to seperate those things which she can deal with and those she can not.

She called it not my monkey. Sorry, can't recall the whole story.


I recall reading or hearing about a report on so called "American Made Cars. Honda had the highest percentage of using the US for different components that it takes to build a car.

All the companies have parts made in different countries now.

Hoping you will have people in your life that even if they don't understand they still make life more do able.

I find those people are few and far between and it is a gift that most people do not have.

Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
METALLlC BLUE
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I usually respond to these threads and my question is always the same. If family is the most fundamental unit that enables our survival, then why do they always respond with the same exact patterns in response to Chronic Lyme Disease?

It's always the same.

Either they don't believe you and alienate you and do just about everything that is opposite of what you need to recover.

Or

They believe you but are skeptical that it's Lyme or that you're sick, but not "that" sick.

Or

They support you entirely without a doubt.

Am I wrong here? The patterns are nearly identical across the world and I don't grasp how family units that are generally healthy mind you -- not dysfunctional families -- and do this?

Dysfunctional families are expected to treat people like ****, same with marriages or other relationships that are poison, but the average family without prior issues?

It's insane.

--------------------
I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.

E-mail: [email protected]

Posts: 4157 | From Western Massachusetts | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
METALLlC BLUE
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Even worse is the trite and trivial things that they harp about on the chronically ill. I mean seriously, a foreign car purchase? Jesus Christ. These people make it seem like we go out of our way to **** them off and disrespect them.

When I recover, there is no way in hell I'm going to carry on a relationship with any of the people who doubted me or didn't support me. I might forgive their ignorance but why would I ever befriend or maintain a relationship with someone who won't be there when the hammer falls.

--------------------
I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.

E-mail: [email protected]

Posts: 4157 | From Western Massachusetts | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
RESOLVED.
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"Jesus Christ", Metallic? Not trying to be confrontational, but please let's not reduce His name to a curse word.
Posts: 246 | From south florida | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cjfrank
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I think that my parents have become members of the Infectious Disease people. They seem to think that since I had the doxy for 10 days and then again for 10 days that I should be all better.

I can't discuss any of my issues with them at all. They now want me to find a new doctor and not tell him/her anything about the Lyme and get a new diagnosis.

They refuse to listen. Simple as that. So now when they ask me how I am I just say fine and leave it at that.

--------------------
cjfrank

IGG Western Blot - negative
IGG Bands Detected - p18
IGM Western Blot - positive
IGM Bands Detected - p23, p41

Posts: 49 | From Maine | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lou
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There is another category, Mike, that you didn't include. The family members who know you are sick, believe you, but keep their distance, never ask about your health, mostly don't want to know, because they might be expected to help. In short, the ones who are sick and tired of your problems, even if you haven't expected or asked for much help.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lymeshmyme
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I can totally relate. I get more sympathy from people when I tell them I have the flu. Seems like most people have a hard time giving sympathy if they can't relate.
Posts: 256 | From Texas | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
METALLlC BLUE
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quote:
Originally posted by lou:
There is another category, Mike, that you didn't include. The family members who know you are sick, believe you, but keep their distance, never ask about your health, mostly don't want to know, because they might be expected to help. In short, the ones who are sick and tired of your problems, even if you haven't expected or asked for much help.

That was actually the second one, -- or...well at least that's what I intended.

It's so frustrating!

--------------------
I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.

E-mail: [email protected]

Posts: 4157 | From Western Massachusetts | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
novy
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kam hit the nail on head ... i can't back it up with actual factual proof but i don't think any car made in america is made of solely american made parts-

my husband and a few of his friend's had gotten into that debate to the point of it actually putting pressure on the three relationships involved- evidently, it's a delicate subject-

as far as family support is concerned ... i was faced with the same type of stuff, all while being so sick and feeling that you wouldn't wish what you had/have on an uncle who was 7 times removed even if he didn't believe you were sick-

but i watched this documentary called the horse boy, about a family with an autistic son whose condition improves when he's around horses and other animals, and how they travel to seek out help for him from shamans in Mongolia- anyways, during the documentary, some doctor talks about how the Mongolians don't shun their sick but in fact do the opposite and raise them up to a higher position in the tribe or whatever, making them feel more included, more normal- loved-

can you imagine that?!

Posts: 94 | From shaker heights, ohio | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tricky Tickey
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I guess I've been really fortunate that the majority of my family is very supportive, especially my husband & sister. Hubby watched 'Under Our Skin'. My overly intelligent brother is a bit skeptical.

He says, "how do you know it's Lyme if your test wasn't postive?" Ding! You know the deal, but he has been concerned. The only real doubt darts thrown my way have been from outsiders.

--------------------
Early Disseminated LD- 2010.
Currently doing acupuncture and yoga.
Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands)
ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system.
PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm,
Chiropractic.

Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jeffe
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I think its a cultural issue.

half of the people out there like to push people down to push themselves up. Also if the doctors don't know it puts primal fear in people if you are right they need to do more for their health. Its easier to demonize someone then admit change is needed. Also misery likes company. chronic lyme i think has a genetic disposition. alot of family have lyme dont know it and protect their own symptoms by pointing out others. They are so engulfed in this self protection they cannot see what they are doing or that they are sick themselves. Also lyme decreases conscieness in some people which i think would increase ones ego and self rightiousness.

Posts: 23 | From mass | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kam
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Novy...I saw horse boy....still gives me chills.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mtree
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BINGO Lou!!

that bothers me soooo much [Mad]

[Frown] mtree

--------------------
worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today

Posts: 968 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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