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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » Sometimes I just wanna cry

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Author Topic: Sometimes I just wanna cry
tricia386
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Its so hard. I am only 25 years old and have this disease. My case is alil different. I had lyme and co's and my body kept it in check but then I got the gardasil shot and poof. I now have an active infection.

Sometimes I just want to cry. I spent 1.5 yrs not knowing what is wrong with me. I feel like I Am wasting precious time in my life. Everyone is moving and making big life changes and out having fun. I am stuck working as an admin asst. and keeping a very low key life. I use to be so acitve and adventerous b4 I was full of life. sometimes its just so hard. I wonder if i will ever be myself again

[Embarrassed] (

so very sad today.... [shake] [Frown]

--------------------
Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine.
DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10
Treatment Started: 3/28/11

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tdtid
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I'm so sorry you are going through this, Tricia. It's so upsetting and unfair.

Do you have an LLMD? Getting treatment is so very important.

I know most of us have been through the "I'm so very sad today" feelings so we DO understand. Also, to help along with that sadness, I know that my LLMD says that Bartonella causes what he refers to as "flooding" where your emotions will be even more out of whack.

Please continue to keep us posted on how you are doing and know that we are fighting this same battle and do know how isolating and depressing all of this is. Hugs to you.

Cathy

--------------------
"To Dream The Impossible Dream" Man of La Mancha

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tricia386
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Yes, I have an LLMD I see DR. H...its just so complicated my case. I have to heal from the vaccine as well as from the lyme. Its all so complicated now

**edited name of city**

[ 06-24-2011, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: Lymetoo ]

--------------------
Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine.
DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10
Treatment Started: 3/28/11

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philly78
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I'm sorry you are going through this. Life ain't easy! That's for sure.

I hope that you turn the corner, and things start going better for you. This disease can be very depressing at times.

--------------------
When faced with pain you have two choices....either quit and accept the circumstances, OR make the decision to fight with all the resources you have at your disposal.

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mom2kids
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I am sorry you or anybody has to go through this. You are fortunate to at least have a LLMD and a possible light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is a very long tunnel. It's ok to have "sad days", everybody does, but remember tomorrow the sun will come up and it will be a brand new day.

--------------------
Down on her knees, she wept on the floor.
This hopeless life, she wanted no more.
Dead in the mind and cold to the bone,
She opened her eyes and saw she was alone. ~Seether

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tricia386
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I feel so defeated

--------------------
Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine.
DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10
Treatment Started: 3/28/11

Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
daisyrlb
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tricia, Only 25 and going through this...Sorry. Big hug to you.

Glad you're getting treatment. That's good.

Are you doing any detoxing? Such as

Dry Skin Brushing
Hydrogen Peroxide/Epsom Salt Baths

The detoxing makes a huge difference on our healing path.

Keep your chin up...it helps.

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map1131
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I'm sorry that anyone has to go thru this. But when the young as in toddlers and children and you at 25 and in the prime of your life....it sucks.

I'm over twice your age but I cry when I read or hear about the children and young ones. Don't lose hope. Keep after it everyday and some day soon I hope you see the light at the end of this dark period.

Please find things to make you laugh, bring you joy and read things to help you dream about when the good old days return.

Remember the bacteria messes with your mind. It likes us sad and broken. Don't quit the fight.

Pam

--------------------
"Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill

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scorpiogirl
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Hi Tricia,

I'm sorry you're feeling sad. Lyme and Companies are such insidious disease and so hard to treat! I am sitting here thinking, there is no good age to get Lyme! I started getting sick when we were trying to have a baby. I have been sick for 2.5 years and now I'm crippled, turning 41 so my window of having a baby is closing FAST! I don't ever walk pass a baby without wondering what mine would have looked like. How it would feel to have a baby moving in my belly. I was planning for a baby instead I got Lyme and Co.

Like you I feel so many emotions but then I am reminded that my friends girls 3 and 5 are also fighting Lyme; that puts things into perspective for me. Instead of being w/ their friends on play dates they are home on the sofa too sick to just be kids. So you are right life isn't fair!

Let's pray we will all kick this disease and move on with our lives. Hugs.

--------------------
 -

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joalo
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I got sick when I was thirty and I didn't get the right diagnosis until I was fifty. I have been sick my children's entire lives.

I know how devastating this disease is and I feel your pain. [group hug] I've been treating lyme disease and co infections for almost six years and I want to let you know that it does get easier.

I find that working at my hobby (painting) always lifts my mood. Or sometimes it helps to get it all out with a good cry. Spend time with a fun friend or relative.

Really, anything that you can think of to get your mind off of how sick you are. Even if it's only for a few minutes. You need a break.

You can come here to vent anytime you want. We care and we will listen. [kiss]

--------------------
Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006.

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randibear
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i know exactly how you feel. right now it looks like lyme is a better diagnosis than pancreatitus tho.

just waiting is the hard part.

seems like it never ends.

--------------------
do not look back when the only course is forward

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ItsMyTurn
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It helps to know you're not alone. I have been helping my husband for the last 8 months and now I am getting tested. Band 23 is reactive, going for more tests tomorrow. For some reason he seems mad that i may be sick. I feel so alone. Not sure who will help me. I too just want to cry.
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phyl6648
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Tricia, so sorry you are going through this. I cry a lot and sometimes I don't even know why. With me crying is part of lyme.. There are days I can try to redirect my thoughts then there are days I just go to my room and cry.

Not sure how long I have had lyme started having symptoms 15 yrs ago and was only dx 1 yr ago. Its a darn hard road as for now I can't see much improvement. I know it takes time but I do have some good days, far and few but thankful for them.

I also take an anti-anxiety med which helps when I get into these "moods" as I call it. There is so much I want to do but not able to.. I want to go to the beach so bad but afraid to travel etc.

Hang in there you are not alone.

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4Seasons
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Tricia, of course you feel like crying - you're grieving the loss of your healthy body, at least for now. Sometimes tears can be a good thing, letting the feelings out.

Be gentle with yourself and take good care.

--------------------
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."
Anonymous

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tricia386
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Thank you everyone for your responses it really means a lot

--------------------
Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine.
DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10
Treatment Started: 3/28/11

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tricia386
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Thank you everyone for your responses it really means a lot

--------------------
Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine.
DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10
Treatment Started: 3/28/11

Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
map1131
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You young sufferers don't give up! Do not lose hope that this nightmare can and will be resolved enough that you can go on with your life.

I would recommend counseling. Highly recommend it. Chronic illness and it's effect are grieving.

You are grieving what your life should be and what you want it to be. I grieved the loss of my 28 yr career. I'm grieving some other personal things that happened in my life years ago...

stuff I didn't realize was still within my being. I have gotten over loosing the career.

It wasn't a loss after all. I wouldn't work for this corp USA company again or recommend them now for a six figure pay check.

It's a dream to get my husband away from this company ASAP. That's how we met 27 yrs ago.

So get couseling for grief. Ideas are church grief counseling, a therapist for couseling which is covered by insurance medical & mental insurance, local organization that hold grief couseling and support for free or very small fee.

Just find someone to help you see that it's grief you are suffering from.

Pam

--------------------
"Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill

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mbdq
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Hey lady- we've all been there- its OK to feel upset- this disease can take so much from us.

I am a fellow New Yorker- I sent you a PM [Smile]

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Lauralyme
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Tricia I understand how you feel but don't despair.

Put a positive spin on this and make it a growth experience.You will come out the other end a much stronger, wiser and braver person.

Some people go through a whole lifetime and don't learn what you have at such an early age. Don't allow yourself to be a victim from this and instead grow from it.

--------------------
Fall down seven times, get up eight
~Japanese proverb

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AnnaOD20
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Oh Tricia I am so sorry. I rarely come to the general section (mostly stay on medical questions) but clicked on it tonight and saw you had posted this.

I am sorry for your pain and everyone else's too. For a young woman you should give yourself so much credit for educating yourself and getting to one of the best LLMD's out there. You clearly have made your health your priority. You were healthy/strong before all of this and you will get there again. You have age on your side and otherwise good health on your side.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

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katiebobatie
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map,

i think counselling is a good idea...

i have decided to join a support group myself.

i don't have transportation to the support group in my area, but there is one an hour away that my husband can take me to once a month.

i am so disappointed though! i kept reminding myself that it meets again this tuesday, and i was really looking forward to it!

i completely forgot what day it was though and missed it [Frown]

i hate that i have to wait a whole more month now before the next meeting.

i really would like to make some friends i can relate to.

*sigh*

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map1131
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katie, I only remember by notes to self. I keep a calendar and write things down.

My notes go back years. I was looking through a binder of notes the other day. There was stuff from 5 yrs ago I forgot to do? [lol]

It must not have been important. Life went on.

Katie, get yourself prepared for the next support meeting by giving yourself rest and mentally prepare yourself for going out and meeting strangers.

That is not easy. That is called a stressor. We don't like stresses because it makes us have bad days.

Stress is number 1 enemy to me. I used to handle it so good. People that worked for me actually admired how I just took care of the problem and went on. That changed when I become ill.

I wasn't the same. That's not me. But that's what I was handed. Now to deal with life. Sometimes we don't have to go looking for it...life is stressful even in a cocoon.

So just get mentally prepared so you can physically make it to the next meeting.

Pam

--------------------
"Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill

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katiebobatie
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i know what you mean!

i used to be super outgoing, but as my lyme progressed, my social anxiety got worse and worse.

i also get stressed out very easily, although i was a carefree child.

it definitely makes me nervous.

i think i will feel most comfortable around others with lyme though!

meeting healthy people is a lot harder for me, because they don't understand why i don't work or do anything..

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