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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » So Angry

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Author Topic: So Angry
Phil E
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I was diagnosed in May of this year. I started having panic attacks on the train to work and then had to resort to taking my car. I then had a really bad panic attack and eventually had to stop driving to work and had to leave my job (which I loved)

I found a terrific infectious disease doctor who gave me IV treatments for a month of Cipro. I still feel fatigued, depressed, foggy headed, heavy eyed, heart palpitations.

I can barely go out in public and can't live the life I had.

I am so sick and tired of this whole thing. I really want to start boxing because I need just get rid of this anger.

[ 10-19-2011, 12:42 PM: Message edited by: Dogsandcats ]

Posts: 16 | From River Edge,NJ | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Giapetto
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PHil, trust me, we all feel this way. I'm not to angry at the tick. I am very angry at the doctor who "couldn't find the symptoms" in his big, OLD medical book back in 1985. four days of tetracycline and he told me i was cured. Yup, sure...

How my life could have been different for the last 27 years is beyond imagination.

Maybe I'll be re-incarnated as a tick and the first thing i'll do is find a big vacation resort where doctors come to relax...

Posts: 37 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Phil E
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LOL. Yep, my ex-doctor told me it was all in my head and to take Xanax. I asked him what I had, and he didn't know. The symptoms got worse and he wanted me to take Lexpro. What an idiot!

[ 10-19-2011, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: Dogsandcats ]

Posts: 16 | From River Edge,NJ | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JeniferM
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Not only can they not figure out the tough stuff like Lyme, but they can't figure out what's in front of their face! I had somehow contracted scabies (eeeew!) and I saw 4 different doctors, one twice, for it and none of them could figure it out. Just kept telling me to put anti-itch cream on it. One doctor told me to use meat tenderizer.

One night I was up all night scratching and crying because when you itch there is no relief. I searched the Internet all night long until I found out what it was. Luckily, I had another appointment that morning with a Nurse Practitioner (no openings with MDs that morning) and she confirmed what I had found.

I could go on about other things, too, but it sure makes a person furious. grrrrr!

--------------------
IgM: [18++,31+++,34++,41++,83-93+] [39 IND]
IgG: [41 IND]
Positive according to IGeneX. Negative according to CDC. Negative for co-infections.
Currently treating for Lyme, Bartonella, Babesia

Posts: 225 | From Minnesota | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dogsandcats
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Phil-

PM sent

--------------------
God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.

Billy Graham

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Robin123
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I hear you - I think the trick is to discover the treatments that are going to work for you, and then you'll have a chance to feel better - it takes patience - this is a marathon, not a sprint -

I think it's better to focus on our own healing and not on all the jerks out there -

Any hobbies or interests you can do at this point? Anything that brings you any quality of life, even if it's just the smallest amount of it -

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Phil E
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I used to like to go to Philly on the train, go to the Phillies games. That I can't do. I still go to the gym a few times a week. Anymore than 5 times a week is really pushing it.
Posts: 16 | From River Edge,NJ | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TerryK
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I hope you have found a good LLMD and are continuing to treat until symptoms are gone. Also it is important to be checked for co-infections and get treatment if needed.

You have good reason to feel angry but it is a good idea to check out any possible physical reasons for it. One of the co-infections can make a person prone to anger (bartonella). So can sleeo apnea which is not uncommon in lyme patients.

It took me a long time to get over feeling angry and I still have things come up that bring it all back. I agree with Robin, it's good to use the energy on healing but dumping the anger may not be something that one has complete conscious control over.

Counseling by someone who knows about chronic illness may be useful. Visualization techniques can be helpful as well. Writing and talking about the experience are helpful too. I found that grieving was part of getting over the anger. Grieving over all that I've lost and will never get back.

I find that I continually work out what happened to me and my family and learn from it all the time. I don't have the same feeling of angry frustration that I used to get but I still feel especially angry when I see others needlessly suffering with this illness.

Hope you feel better soon.

Jennifer - that's appalling. Good for you for figuring it out!!

Terry

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Phil E
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Thank you for the advice Terry
Posts: 16 | From River Edge,NJ | Registered: Oct 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Richard1062
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In addition to Robin's and Terry's excellent advice....please do be aware of possible depression. It can sneak up on you with this disease, and is better addressed than ignored.
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cologirl
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This disease has made a hell for me too. I have no family support, recently divorced my husband because got tired of him saying it was all in my head the wierd symptoms and said I never got a tick bite (although I grew up in Maine and went back every summer for vacation). Had numerous surgery on my joints, panic attacks....lost it all my marriage, my house, my job, now I sit alone all the time wondering what kind of life do I have? Take loads of pills everyday, and cant exercise or work... just exist. I try to find gratitude for my 2 sons but they dont understand and blame me for divorce. This disease is awful...live in a state rural where it is not a common thing to have. Sorry going on about things having my own pitty party tonight. Its amazing how one little tick can create such havoc and misery in ones life.
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Dogsandcats
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Cologirl-you said what alot of us think..."it is amazing how

one little tick can create such havoc and misery in ones life".

--------------------
God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.

Billy Graham

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Phil E
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I think we really need to get the word out about this disease. So few doctors, so few support groups. There are none in North Jersey, I just checked the list.
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lost11
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I'm sorry Phil.. I hear you. The darn docs when they can't figure it out.. Yep.. The person must be mental. Sad. Hang in there that's what I'm doing. :-)
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showmemom
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Phil, you are not alone! We live in Missouri, where the IDSA doc said, "We don't have Lyme, here." I have now met a handful of people diagnosed with Lyme. I tell my son to visualize doing things. So, until you are ready to box, visualize doing the boxing! Keep dreaming of what you want.

I keep dreaming of a healthy future for my son!

Posts: 55 | From Missouri | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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