posted
I'm so frustrated! I just got back from vacation in Iceland with my boyfriend... had the time of my life, btw! It was the best week I ever spent, and I absolutely wish I could move there!
But while I was gone, I sent my daughter, my 16 y/o battling lyme and babesia, to stay with my sister in Seattle. When she went up there, she was suffering mainly just joint pain, at her normal level.
Now I talk to my sister all the time, and I thought that she understood how delicate my daughter is, but clearly she didn't get it. My daughter uses a shower chair at home, and I told my sister that. Apparently, the downstairs bath at sis's house has a shower chair, but she never offered it to my daughter... my daughter stumbled on it by accident about half way through her trip. UGH.
She also FORCED her to go to a church that we don't believe in, wearing a dress that was 5 sizes too big (the religious indoctrination really annoyed my daughter).
And she dragged her all around the countryside, wanting her to hike and do all sorts of stuff.
My daughter came home and slept 36 hours straight! She got up twice to eat, once because I forced her. She also said her headaches had returned after being there 2 days, and she said she'd has nausea too.
Also, she has multiple food sensitivities, which I told my sis about (many of which are fruits)... and daughter says she was continually pressured to eat those things anyway.
And what I hear from family is that "she didn't look sick." Well, duh! That's why I emphasized that she hides her pain to not make people around her uncomfortable. But at home, she'll be honest with me. Sucks to have disability that's completely invisible.
So now I have a teen who last time I saw her was functioning, even with the pain. And now, she sleeps nonstop, can't hold food down, and has had a headache for about 2 weeks. She's unable to do any of her school work, and doesn't even want to see her friends. Ugh.
So I guess that's the last time I let her go stay with family!
Posts: 48 | From Orlando, FL | Registered: Apr 2014
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
Im glad you had a good time...the rest of it doesnt surprise me but makes me sick
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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steve1906
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16206
posted
This is very common, sad but true. People, family, friends just don’t get it, if they don’t have these types of diseases they just don’t understand.
I’m so sorry your daughter has to suffer more because of ignorance.
Hope she feels better soon!!!
Steve
-------------------- Everything I say is just my opinion! Posts: 3529 | From Massachusetts Boston Area | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
Thanks guys. My daughter actually slept 36 hours straight after getting home from Seattle! She got up twice to eat, both times I had to wake her.
She finally consented to a coffee enema, and that got rid of the nausea at least. Now if we could get rid of the headache too, she'd be back to where she was 3 weeks ago.
Posts: 48 | From Orlando, FL | Registered: Apr 2014
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
so sad. never send her there again. she'd have been better off with you.
I told husband I didn't want to go to his son's THIRD wedding in ohio but he was adamant. had to stay with his sister. bedroom is on third floor. we fought like demons the entire time and back.
he drove straight from dayton to the west side of little rock. the drive back was even worse.
it destroyed my back and set me back for months.
doing something you can't physically handle plus the stress is the worst for us.
keep her rested and fed and she will get back.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
I am sorry about your daughter. People just don't get it with Lyme. If I looked reasonably good my husband was sure I was well, healed and could go anywhere.....
Glad you had a good time, you at least will be refreshed to help her. Not quite the way you wanted.....but you needed your time away.
I know how disappointing it can be when we think everything is all set and it goes backwards.
Do Epsom salt baths with dry brush before help?
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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beaches
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38251
posted
This just goes to show that very few are capable of taking care of our sick children other than ourselves.
I have a great friend who understands the GF diet and my kids' limitations. She has been so great to my kids when I was down for the count.
My sister respects me and has a limited understanding of our medical issues. She loves my kids almost as much as I do.
These are the only two people (besides hubby) that I'd trust to care for my kids. But even so, I would not expect either of them to take care of one of my sick kids for a week. Most "normal" people cannot handle the meds, special diets, needs, etc. of a sick teenager.
Clearly your sister, despite all your convos, didn't have a clue as to your daughter's needs. And with Lyme, expecting your daughter to go hiking?? Have you considered that she was re-infected?
Posts: 1885 | From here | Registered: Jul 2012
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Epsom salt baths help a little. Coffee enemas help with the nausea. Her headaches at this point are intermittent, which is better. I think she just needed sleep more than anything. It's been over a week since she's been home, and she's spent little time awake... but she's almost back to baseline.
My daughter is 16 and handles her own med regimen and for the most part can take care of herself. She just wasn't willing to say "no" to my sister enough. But she shouldn't have had to.
I too am also lucky that I do have a good friend who I trust to respect my daughter's boundaries... but that's because her kids have issues as well, so she truly gets it. But I thought it would be better for my daughter to be able to see her extended family for a while. We live so far away, and she rarely gets to see her dad, her aunts, uncles and cousins. I guess I misjudged, and I shouldn't have sent her without me there.
As far as reinfection, it's a possibility. She's having babesia symptoms she's never had before. But she's on antibiotic/antiprotozoan coverage already, so hopefully she's ok.
Posts: 48 | From Orlando, FL | Registered: Apr 2014
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
Maybe the trip by herself helped her to learn some lessons about boundaries, etc. some people don't learn it young and really suffer in adult life....
So just maybe- albeit the downside isn't fun- she picked up a few life lessons that will serve her well down the road.
You are right, she should not have had to stand up to your sister, but then again your sister missed a few cues.
I think boundaries are one of the biggest challenges in relationships. I learned late and it wasn't fun.
Hope she feels better soon ....you are a loving mom!
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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