LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
are we allowed to rant here? I mean can this be a thread entirely for ranting?
I know I need one. anyone else?
feel free to just let it all out- whether anyone responds or not, we are all in the same boat.
let me begin with.....
so, I get mad. I know I have a temper sometimes and I am so much better able to handle stress now after some treatment and all that, but I just had a stupid weekend.
I saw the pastor at church the other day and he said hi and aksed how I was. I thought he was being thoughtful about my diseases. turns out no. when I said I was feeling a bit better he asked me what was wrong.
I must have made a face, haha. I told him um.... my LYME DISEASE. like he knows I have extensive medical bills, he knows we have no money and my husband has also been sick. he is head of the committee that gives people money to help with this stuff. they help us out on a regular basis, and he didn't remember ?
I don't know, call me crazy, but someone that runs a business should know his regular customers- that is what I say! or they take their business elsewehre.
ugh...... it made me so mad. there is just no ministry at our church. I wish I was well enough to do it.
why can;t life be al llike this:
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3552 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
and another thing.....
NO ONE EVER TALKS TO ME ABOUT MY ILLNESS!!!!!
are they just being polite?
I like to talk. no, I LOVE to talk!!!
why doesn't anyone talk to me about it?????? no one cares enough.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3552 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
Its lonely isnt it lisa
I dont know if i have the energy to rant
I go thru the same thing and have for a long time
If you seach "rant" you will find many...and many from.me
I think i have learned two things
1. Come to lymenet for unconditional love and understanding
2. Sometimes ranting helps me and i do it...sometimes i just have to let it go
What hurts me the most is when family do it...i understand why they have to do it...but it still hurts
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
MannaMe
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33330
posted
I wish people in our lives would accept that my hubby's illness is PHYSICAL and NOT mental!!!!!!!!!!!
Posts: 2121 | From USA | Registered: Aug 2011
| IP: Logged |
beaches
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38251
posted
Honestly, no one wants to hear it. I don't want to hear it and I live with it!!!
I have a friend whose conversations consist primarily of her diseases/ailments and I've had to drastically reduce my contact with her. I have enough of my own problems. And her constant complaining about everything and everyone and every illness wears on me. And she has some very serious medical issues.
I have never had a problem speaking out re: this illness. But I realize that people do not have the knowledge I do, nor do they (or I) have the capacity/patience to sit and listen to someone go on and on and on about sickness. (Not saying that's you, but that's been my experience with some).
And that doesn't just apply to Lyme. It applies to every chronic illness.
I don't have a need for people to understand or accept or discuss. However, I do have the need for respect and to not be questioned for the decisions I make.
MannaMe, if people in your lives do not "accept" that your husband's illness is physical (as if any of us have to "accept" that from anyone), it's time to cut ties IMO. Sounds harsh. But you are giving away your power as a wife and a married couple by even thinking that anyone has to "accept" that your husband has a "real" illness.
Posts: 1885 | From here | Registered: Jul 2012
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
I don;t want to complain to people, but when people "forget" you are very ill and no one asks how you are or makes any effort to contact you when you are at your lowest..... that is what I am refering to.
I NEVER tell people....this hurts, that hurts, this hurts again, all that. I know people like that and no one wants to hear them. I don't tell people anything really. unless they seem interested - like truly concerned, which is RARE.
I need people in my life. I love socializing. before I got sick I had a party like once a month. now in a years time out of action in everything that was me, I can count on one hand the phonecalls I have gotten from people giving support or asking how I am.
I mean, I could have died and they never would have known.
maybe this was MY wake up call. I should not think of myself , even now, but it is so hard to help others when you yourself feel like you can't go on most days!
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3552 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
posted
True that no one wants to talk about illness. For one thing, it scares them. They don't want to hear about it.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96117 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
GretaM
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 40917
posted
OK. My rant.
I am in a male dominated profession.
All my coworkers are male-have been for many years.
There are a few coworkers I have a lot in common with.
We chat about books, different films, cats and outdoor stuff.
One particular coworker is around the same age as me. (most of them are 20-30 years older).
Anyways I was chatting to this coworker friend about cats today.
Literally about cats.
And another coworker came up and basically said, (I'm paraphrasing), "don't talk openly to each others because people will think you are interested in each other."
You know, this is BS. If it was a female coworker, there wouldn't be this double standard.
So now what?! I can't talk about anything non-work related to my male coworkers? What am I, a walking you-know-what?
Geesh.
About cats and cleaning litter pans.
That frustrates me to no end that I can't speak to my male coworkers as I would my female coworkers (if I had any), without this kind of BS.
And that's my rant.
Grrrrrr....
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
| IP: Logged |
GretaM
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 40917
posted
Sorry.
My point was double standard.
If a neighbout or church member has the flu... One would enquire afterwards like, "Hey are you feeling better? It was a bad bug going around." kinda thing.
No one enquires about lyme.
I get, "your face looks red today."
Which I respond to, "it's a fever."
Which gets no response. It's beet red. Hard to miss.
What else is one supposed to say?
It's a double standard.
Between opposite gender friends.
Between chronic or seasonal illness.
Grrr I am mad at the world today. Full moon bartonella anger.
Thanks for listening.
I guess I was just pleased someone liked to talk about cats also.
Normally it is football, fishing, stocks and bonds, business markets. Haha.
Finally something I like to talk about and it is squashed flat.
Yep bartonella anger here.
Sorry Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
| IP: Logged |
lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
Double standard for sure. Exactly what is happening to both of you. I think i have given up trying to make ppl understand and i pretty much isolate...i just dont waste the little energy i have trying to teach others. Its pretty easy for me to choose to not be around those ppl who would make me feel bad...except my kids
That really hurts. Even tho i understand why they do it ... it stull really hurts.
I dont feel anger at th er m but three of them are in medical/scientific fields and i know they have been trained-more like brain washed-to the idsa way as correct and that ilads way is corrupt and wrong and hurting patients
The message is given in a very soohisticated way...my kids are smart and tgey really believe what they are taught. Even my doc and vet have been brainwashed... So my anger is durected at whtever-whoever is forcing this bs in such an n organized wy that even.really smart ppl of science believe it...until they get lyme or their spouse or child or friend does.
That is when they get it. Like many of our llmds. When that happens they know the truth
So my anger goes out to those evil doers pushing the garbage they push for money...they get rich...the masses get sicker and sicker...and poorer and poorer. And thats my rant!
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
Hey! No apologies here!!!!!
rant away.
we need it sometimes.
we are entitled.
if anti ranters don't wanna see then they should know better than to read a thread title that says "RANT" and look!
hahahahaaaaa
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3552 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
kayak, yeah I hear ya. I often ponder- and more often these days- that I should be a hermit, or I should have been a cloistered nun.
people : I need them, but I can't stand them.
I am hoping with more treatment and the better I feel I will tolerate more. like I used to when I was young. but then I don't remember being happy then. I am happier now.
I guess I will never win.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3552 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
Today's rant.....
so I sing in a women's ensemble. It is a small group. we sing like only several times a year. small group of about 11 -12. nice sound and nice people.
I told the director that I wasn't singing this year (yr starts in sept, ends in around june). I REMINDED her that I am battling lyme , etc. and that it is hard to sing for physical reasons as well as visial, etc.
she seems to like me, but I don't get the special attention that a couple other choir ladies got when diagnosed with cancer.
I know I have talked about this here on lymenet before, but I cannot shake this mad feeling of hurt.
She, let's call her Mable, ...Mable sends out emails giving updates about the current person with cancer. saying words like rides, meals, cheer up cards, help, recovery, .... and all that.
hey, I get it. this was devestating to this woman. I get it because *I* have also been devistated!
so I have been to very few rehearsals and performances because of my illness. No one has been rude, but I was shocked to find out that half of these women didn't even know I was sick.
I know, I know... no one knows about lyme.
I AM TIRED OF EXCUSES!
I am sick an dtired of seeing pink everywhere!!!!
UGH
I did tell Mable about a month ago that I would try and get to rehearsals to see if I am able to sing. she wrote back and said great and did give me nice conversation about it all. so I am thinking that she has realized what is really going on with me.
then last week I forget to go to rehearsal and the performance on Sunday, which I would have really like do to try and do.
I texted Mable and told her I was sorry to miss and I just forgot- again. she never responded. now is that nice?? is that professional? she sent out an email the next day to the group and said how lovely the performance was and how she appreciated everyone's committment.
I took that personal.
I know I am nuts.
because, I remembered yesterday that I had told her a while back that I was quitting! and would try and go to rehearsals to see how I feel!
I really don't remember now at this point what the heck I told her! I am surely crazy.
now what!?????????????
today I feel sick and I don't feel like going to this perfomrnace and I missed the rehearsal last week any way.
why do I do this ? I am mad about them not caring the way I *think* they should, I'm mad at Mable for not returning my text, I am mad I feel sick, I am mad I am mad!
this is how I feel right now:
I want sing, but I don't feel good there any more.
will I feel good singing anywhere?????
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3552 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
posted
If she knows you have a job, then she figures that you are "OK." That's what I think is happening. She just thinks you aren't taking the ensemble seriously.
We as patients will never get treated the same as cancer patients. Won't happen.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96117 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
no one knows I have a job. I don't start until next week.
she knows I couldn't read. she knows I had trouble breathing and walking. I told her all that. she knows a lot about me. she knows we are broke and losing our home. she knows tons. that isn't it.
she has turned others away by not answering emails, etc. she is BUSY (like everyone, right!) she has no husband, no kids, she records her own music. she even had lyme couple yrs ago. got "healed" in 2 weeks.
I think she is just busy. but that is what is ruining the world. busi-ness.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3552 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
Im sick of pink too and im dealing with breast cancer
I hear you lisa. I get it.
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
steve1906
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16206
posted
Lisa, I agree with this quote - you made.
quote:if anti ranters don't wanna see then they should know better than to read a thread title that says "RANT" and look!
.
We have very few neg. members here that hurt others, but we do have a couple.....
You ALL rant away, it's healthy.
Steve
-------------------- Everything I say is just my opinion! Posts: 3529 | From Massachusetts Boston Area | Registered: Jul 2008
| IP: Logged |
payne
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26248
posted
but you look fine....
-------------------- TULAREMIA/rabbit fever ? Posts: 1931 | From mid-michigan | Registered: Jun 2010
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by payne: but you look fine....
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96117 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
MannaMe
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33330
posted
If you would just go outside for a walk you would feel better....
Posts: 2121 | From USA | Registered: Aug 2011
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
I went to sing tonight! hahahahahaaaa
after all that crap I give out, my son asked if he could go to the church to listen to the speaker for extra credit for school.. the service I was supposed to sing for!
I was conflicted.... should I wait in the car? take a walk? go in and listen? or.... dare I ?? go and see if I can sing?????
I went in and saw my ladies group and they were all so happy to see me. welcoming and even Mable was happy. They all hugged me except her though, but she was busy and in a big hurry to leave at the end, so....
and a couple of people did give me that favorite line I have grown to love to hate-
"good to see you! so, you're feeling better?"
It still stumps me. I don't know what they are trying to ask? like they won't see me unless I am better? do they really wanna hear my complaints? maybe I should paint dark circles under my eyes and uncomb my hair?
o well. it was nice to get out and sing anyway. thank God this moon is almost over!!!
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3552 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
posted
If I get fixed up (which don't most of us do so we don't look like something the dog dragged in?), then everyone assumes I feel better.
It is still very hard for me in the mornings to do the whole make-up thing. Yet I want to look nice when I go out. So we either need to look like death warmed over or look our best and then everyone thinks we are well!
It really isn't their fault. If they haven't had a chronic illness, they just don't get it. That is my take on peoples' ignorance because they don't understand Lyme.
Heck, even the docs don't so why should our friends?
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
my rant for today= my MIL an dI have a terrible relationship.
she used to give me stuff to sell on line in my auction type store . I would make money from that since she had a department store kind of house with collectables everywhere. and they were down sizing.
we had a falling out when i got really sick she bombarded me with mean hurtful statements and accusations- imagine? down at my lowest and she was relentless.
anyway, I cut off all personal ties and made our relationship very minimal.
I found a box recently in my house from her filled with stuff to sell worth a few hundred $. I wish I could sell it an dkeep it for all the hurt she has given me, but I am nice and that won't happen.
but I really wish I could. when I think of her or look at this box of stuff it makes me madder . I need to purge.
why do I always have to be the nice one that does what's right?????
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3552 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[cussing]](graemlins/cussing.gif)
![[kiss]](graemlins/kissing.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[rant]](graemlins/rant.gif)
![[confused]](graemlins/confused.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[dizzy]](graemlins/dizzy.gif)
![[puke]](graemlins/puke.gif)
![[lol]](graemlins/lol.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic