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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » Dating with lyme disease... "do not pass go, do not collect $200"???

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Author Topic: Dating with lyme disease... "do not pass go, do not collect $200"???
ohioperson22
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So if lyme IS sexually transmitted, and any informed lyme patient knows that, then it would unethical to not tell a dating parter when the STD discussion happens.

Awwww Shucks... who is going to date someone where intimate contact will probably transfer the spirochetes to them and give them a terrible illness?

Or can the HSV-1 card be pulled up (that 90% of people have it)??? I.e. go ask them if they'd feel comfortable getting an IGeneX lyme WB test, so you can show them they do have lyme (since those tests are almost always positive)???

Posts: 200 | From Ohio | Registered: Apr 2016  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lookup
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I have an energetic signature scanner for

pathogens, etc. and I find it

to be not uncommon for people to get energetic

signature hits for

Borrelia, even though they

do not show any Lyme infection symptoms. It looks

like some people, who get a borrelia energetic

signature hit on a scan,

are fine until something

traumatic happens and then the Lyme kicks in hard.

For instance, a farmer came to get scanned and he

said when he is skinning a deer, that they are

crawling with ticks. He was never worried about

it. He just rolls up the hide and puts it in his

truck. He has Borrelia energetic signature scan

hits but no symptoms of

Lyme infection.

*An interesting side note is that

he said that the deer did not used to be so

full of ticks and also my brother has made the

same observation.

[ 06-15-2016, 09:14 PM: Message edited by: lookup ]

Posts: 764 | From Northwest | Registered: Sep 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TNT
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I agree that many, if not most, people have been exposed to B. burgdorferi. Many of those infected are not showing symptoms. That said, I feel it should be part of the discussion prior to any intimate physical relationship.
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Robin123
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It's a question that's always raised by couples. In support groups, it appears that half of the time, other couples in attendance say both are symptomatic, meaning 50% of the time, one partner is not symptomatic, which I find very interesting.

Good immune system? Good detox ability?

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me
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Despite if one believes whether or not it can be sexually transmitted, I do believe it is ones ethical obligation to inform your partner. I would want someone to let me know.
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Keebler
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If two hearts are destined to come to know and care deeply for one another with a commitment to look out for each other in all actions, there are many matters of practicality that can be discussed and plans made for how to work with, and around, issues that can impact the other.
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Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MADDOG
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Condoms???????

MADDOG

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bluelyme
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My practuoner finds 9 of 10 have spirochettes in their blood...not all syptomatic ...im sure my gf has it ...

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Blue

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paleogal
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This is an old thread, but I just wanted to comment that I am starting to date again (yay!), but a budding relationship with someone pretty fantastic just ended because he was worried about Lyme getting worse for me again (despite me saying it's been mostly up hill/two steps forward and one back for the last two years since being diagnosed).

The stigma of people not wanting to date a sometimes sick person is a dimension of this disease that I was not emotionally prepared for.

Interestingly, he wasn't worried about getting Lyme, despite me disclosing it was possible. He asked if there were any documented instances of that, and I couldn't find any on PubMed.

I also told him my LLMD just said to use condoms to protect anyone I was sleeping with. So he basically shrugged and said he wasn't worried about it. I was going to offer to pay for him to get an IGENEX WB and/or that haplotype test that shows susceptibility to Lyme and mold toxins, but this wasn't the part he was worried about.

I know that this means he wasn't the right person for me, but it is hard enough for someone like me to date (I'm a 6'2" curvy woman with a PhD and confidence...apparently this surfaces insecurities in men), and to realize now I have *another* thing that is going to make it hard to find a good match...argh.

Anyway, as usual, in times of pain and suffering, I find myself on LymeNet with the supportive community here. Thank you all for your consistent support for all things Lyme and life.

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k84
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quote:
Originally posted by paleogal:
... but a budding relationship with someone pretty fantastic just ended because he was worried about Lyme getting worse for me again (despite me saying it's been mostly up hill/two steps forward and one back for the last two years since being diagnosed).

Wow. There are plenty of reasons to end a relationship, that's a pretty weak cop-out that he did. I know I could never say that to somebody I cared about.

I will agree most general population really brushes off concerns about lyme. BUT most general population after you mention Lyme, says, "but your normal, right?". Probably the reason I'm still single, well, that and the girl I was engaged to put me through hell.

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Ann-Ohio
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Yay! for Maddog!


Again, as to sexual transmission, as for so many other Lyme disease issues - the studies have not been done.

Safe sex for all reasons.

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Ann-OH

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paleogal
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quote:
Originally posted by k84:

[/qb]

Wow. There are plenty of reasons to end a relationship, that's a pretty weak cop-out that he did.[/QB][/QUOTE]

To be fair, he didn't actually SAY this was the reason. But he said enough small things and was positive about everything else about me, that I think this was it. I think he has never lost anything (like mobility, or activity level) or anyone close to him, which he is actually terrified of, along with growing old (which he's admitted). So the whole prospect of dating someone who he saw as a ticking time bomb freaked him out.

(Presumably he'd have the same problem with someone in remission from cancer?)

Having Lyme at age 33 now, I feel like I've had an insight into what it might feel like to be 70+...aching, stiff, and slowly (or some days quickly) losing my ability to remember and communicate. It's not something to be afraid of, per se, but it's something that might happen, and we just can't know what tomorrow will bring symptom-wise.

My father died 10 years ago, and it really changed my perspective on life, love, and loss. I remember a few years after that a friend and I talking about a mutual friend who was totally destroyed by some minor thing (like a lab instrument not working), and we at the same moment said, "wow, she has never had to deal with anything real."

Lyme has also helped change my perspective on self-love and acceptance, and made me realize my long-term relationship ending over Lyme and this short thing ending over Lyme says more about others than it does about me. That said, I wish I had learned some of these lessons a different way...

Anyway, good lesson for me in all this to really consider the emotional maturity of the people I meet, and recognize that some people just aren't ready to date someone with a disability, no matter how severe it is on any given day.

Thanks, everyone. [Smile]

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tickbyte
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Any studies on oral sex transmission? I would imagine unprotected sex is a no go. Mouth sores would be a concern if you are dating?
Posts: 2 | From Seattle | Registered: Aug 2017  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Keebler
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tickbyte,

good questions.

Even kissing - if one is prone to mouth sores - can be tricky for both parties. Mouth sores are often infection-connected.

There are so many things to consider with any kind of intimacy where there is any sharing of body fluids. Even aside from lyme / tick borne diseases. Various strains of herpes - especially HHV-6 - mycoplasmas, etc. Even candida can be passed back and forth.

Bleeding gums also put one at greater risk.

And, of course, the typical STDs can also be transmitted with kissing, especially if there has ever been any oral sex by either partner - or others they've shared kisses with over time. Germs can lodge in the mouth / throat.

There are some things that might help. As you are in Seattle, I suggest you find a LL ND
(naturopathic physician).

Call Basytr University's Clinic. They may also have sliding fee scales. See if they can connect you with a LL ND. If not, a regular ND can help with education about intimacy - even kissing - considerations and safety measures.

Also ask how to TALK to a potential close friend. Practice, consider it a challenge that can be fun yet also serious enough that everyone - everyone - will benefit to think about it more beforehand than later.

In my youth we never had good education and awareness about any of this. And that was detrimental in many ways to whole generations of people. It's part of life and we need to talk about all this without shame or stigma and more about the facts and factors that are within our control to ensure our health and that of those we care about.
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Keebler
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http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2017/09/23/551261593/how-many-viruses-can-live-in-semen-more-than-you-might-think

How Many Viruses Can Live In Semen? More Than You Might Think

By Michaeleen Doucleff - NPR - September 23, 2017

Excerpts:

. . . Semen can be a hotbed for viruses, scientists report in the November issue of Emerging Infectious Diseases. At least 27 viruses can live in the fluid . . . .

. . . Doctors at the University of Oxford compiled a full list after analyzing more than 3,800 studies [link below]

Most of these viruses appear temporarily in semen after a person catches an infection. Others stick around for decades. . . .

https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/23/11/17-1049-techapp1.pdf

The Breadth of Viruses in Human Semen - technical appendix / list


Another reference garnering a mention in article above:

http://vmc.vcu.edu/about

About the vaginal microbiome

The vagina's microbiome — or all the bacteria and viruses that inhabit it — can influence all sorts of health aspects, including the risk of miscarriage and HIV infection. . . .
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Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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