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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » advice for healing after traumatic relationship

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Author Topic: advice for healing after traumatic relationship
paleogal
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 45991

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Hi everyone - apparently I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship for a number of years now without realizing it.

I've finally ended the relationship, thankfully, and he is moving out over the next few weeks.

I'm wondering if there is anything I can do to make sure I'm healing my mind and emotions alongside my body. Are there Lyme-literate therapists who can help me sort out what emotional responses are "normal" vs. due to tick-borne diseases? Or does anyone have favorite guided meditations online? Etc...

Any advice would be appreciated. I have really benefitted from having such a kind community of fellow human beings on this forum.

Posts: 232 | From Southern Arizona | Registered: Jun 2015  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jory
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Member # 50029

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finding your "center" through meditation can be very helpful, it allows you to confront old and outdated programs that your mind can play back like a record player.

this can be especially helpful after being in a gaslighted relationship, one that makes you second-guess everything. a refined perspective will improve how you see the past, how you see yourself, and give you insight to use your corrected center to make for a better future.

here are some meditation skills / guides / authors I like or have used with positive results: TM, vipassana, silva method, tara branch, david kornfield, thich nhat hanh.

If you can afford the four-day TM course I recommend it. Vipassana is free to learn by reading Mindfulness in Plain English (although it's full of typos and gets obscure at some points), or by doing a vipassana excursion which is also of no cost and is available all over the globe.

hope this helps, paleogal.

Posts: 287 | From Montreal, Canada | Registered: Mar 2017  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hopingandpraying
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 9256

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For uplifting, encouraging, life-changing music, listen to KLOVE (FM radio). Try a 30-day block of time. You can listen anytime online www.klove.com or on these local FM stations in your area:

San Francisco
88.9 FM

San Francisco
107.3 FM

San Jose
87.7 FM

Santa Rosa
91.9 FM

Sacramento
89.7 FM

To find a LL therapist, check the online state Lyme groups at:
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/CaliforniaLyme/info

Maybe they can help.

Some more resources for you (including Support Groups info):
http://whatislyme.com/websites-and-support-groups-by-state/

http://www.lymenet.org/SupportGroups/UnitedStates/California/

Contact poster "Robin123" who knows about CA. She might know of a LL therapist.

Posts: 8707 | From Illinois | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5960

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Do anything that will build up your self-esteem. You did not deserve to be abused and take time to heal yourself.

One of many things I've done is tapping for emotional abuse. Google it and there's tons of stuff on YouTube.

Be kind to yourself.

[group hug]

--------------------
Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.

Alaska Lone Wolf

Posts: 4904 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bartenderbonnie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 49177

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So sorry you have to deal with this, especially while dealing with a chronic and debilitating illness.

I don't mean to scare you, but when breaking up with an abusive partner, it can be dangerous to the woman. Statistics show violence escalates during this period of instability.

Be aware of your surroundings. Don't be alone with your aggressor. Always have a friend with you while outside. Lock all doors and windows. Maintain a healthy distance until the situation cools. Better to be safe than sorry.

Also, remain single atleast 6 months. It is so important for you to realize what is important to YOU. It is NOT selfish to put yourself first. You cannot love someone else if you don't love yourself first. This is the healthy thing to do.

Good luck.

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Judie
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Join ANA. After Narcissist Abuse (it's a facebook page)
Posts: 2839 | From California | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Neko
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 46592

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I was in the processes of leaving an emotionally and financially abusive relationship when I got diagnosed. Really difficult time.

I didn't deserve to be treated like that and neither do you.

It made things hard because I was in so much pain emotionally, and I lost my job and my bf stuck me with thousands in unpaid rent and utilities of his.

I found a holistic psychologist who helped me deal with trauma. Lyme is also a trauma when no one believes you.

A trauma specialist really helped me.

Posts: 132 | From North Shore | Registered: Sep 2015  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
WPinVA
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33581

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Absoutely agree that therapy is a wonderful idea, both for the relationship angle and for the stress of dealing with chronic illness. It can be a good idea to work through what lead you into that sort of relationship in the first place, which will give you valuable insights so you don't fall into the same pattern again.

But really the first and most critical step is realizing this and getting out of the relationship, WHICH YOU DID. That takes so much courage. Bravo! You have better things ahead of you.

That said, I do echo the comment about being careful about your personal safety. It sounds like you are in the same house for now. Can you stay elsewhere until he moves out?

Posts: 1737 | From Virginia | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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