In a recent posting one of the members raised the subject-that deep dark and taboo subject-of lyme rage. Since honest confession is good for the soul-or so they say-I am now going to come out of the closet and bare it all!!! You have the image of me as this elderly, frail, gentle, kindly witty and indeed very funny eccentric who would not harm a fly. Wrong!!
I am a closet AX MURDERER. I go into rages all the time. I boil, I rage, I seethe. If my carpet weren't so dirty I would get down on the floor and chew it. Everything and everybody gets on my nerves. Then I just want to take out my ax and chop into little pieces whatever or whoever is bothering me. Not good. Not good at all.
Truth to tell the race of homo saphead is one giant pain in the old gluteo maximo-witness the likes of Steere, Shapiro, Meade and Wormser for a start. One time it was all I could do to keep from raming my car into a passing cement mixer that was going too slow down the road. Once I got so angry and parnoid at two little old ladies walking behing me down the road on my walk that it was all I could do not to turn around and beat them with my walking stick. In SC that is JUST NOT DONE. We do have The Code here you know.
Unfortunately, the people here in South Carolina are stupid beyond redemption, clueless brain dead idiots and they cannot drive. They are so slow. I want to just chop them to pieces, gas them, strangle them, burn them at the stake, impale them, feed them to the Tibetan buzzards, flay them over a bed of fire ants, boil them in olive oil, barbeque them over a slow fire, suspendend them upended over a pot of burning sulphur, hang them from the trees, feed them to the polar bears at the Riverbanks Zoo who get just as irritated as I do and on and on it goes.
I regularly get homicidal. I could not plead not guilty by reason of insanity as nobody in this state buys that garbage. Everybody knows that I am nuts and really do belong in a home. But this is South Carolina, after all and 85% of the poputlation is certifiable and everybody knows it. So in a place where everybody is more or less crazy there is no insanity defense. And I am scared to death -petrified no less-of needles, so what with lethal injection and whatnot Life is hard. It is just not fair, but there you are. So I just have to remember THE CODE of a gentleman (which I am most decidedly not) and grit my teeth.
Of course this does have its uses. When I was describing all of this to the judge in my SS disability hearing, I was so convincing that he gave me my disablity in record time.
Just this past Thursday I had a horrible time. I was supposed to cook a Linzertorte, a German goodie that is a kind of glorified raspberry pie. I first forgot how to braid the dough on the top. Then I got all the proportions wrong in trying to make a larger version to fit my favorite ten inch ceramic torte pan. The @#$%^***stove would not cook properly and so out it came burned on the outside and raw on the inside.
I was hot, tired, SC was in one of its typical summer , humid hell days and my brain was not working and numb and tired and it was muggy and the torte was a total flop. As I was taking it out of the stove I burned my finger and totally lost it. I went into a screaming rage, grabbed the thing and hurled the blasted piece of kaka onto the floor with such violence that it shattered, pan, dough, raspberries and all that the refrigerator, floor, walls, stove, ceiling and out into the hall way and living room were splattered and covered with a raspberry, alomond cinamon raw, partly and badly cooked goo mixed with the shattered pieces and fragments of my ceramic ten inch torte pan. My ceiling is still discolored. I have spent hours trying to clean it up and the end is nowhere in sight.
So be of good cheer. It is only lyme rage. It is not the end of the world. Your brain is infected with Boris and Myrtle Burgdorferi and their scuzzy realtions and they have made their beach houses and happy little homes in your nervous system, brain and spinal column so do not worry. Welcome to the club. Just take your antibiotics or herbs or draino and do to them what they are doing to you. Cheers. Thomas Parkman
-------------------- Thomas Parkman Posts: 341 | From Columbia SC 29206 | Registered: Feb 2003
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NP40
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6711
posted
Note to self:
Never get caught at a red light in South Carolina while waiting for two little old ladies to cross the street, while driving a cement truck and holding a linzertorte out the window. Posts: 1632 | From Northern Wisconsin | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Note to self: Glad to be back on lymenet and reading this guys' posts again. Send post to friend who visits his state routinely....just in case their paths cross. Posts: 89 | From AZ | Registered: Mar 2006
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chroniclymie
Unregistered
posted
any town that has a team called the gamecocks has to be certifiable. i spent 10 yeats in Charleston and left after Hugo. YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW WHAT DUMB IS TILL YOU TALK TO SOMEBODY IN CHARWLSSTON. YOU SHOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT DEER TICKS BUT THOSE MONSTER GIANT COCKROACHES, the state bird of SC , the palmetto bug. If you people on lymenet want to really fear something do a search for pametto bug on google. these are giant bugs that fly from the trees at night 2-5 inches in size and look like a cockroach, wonder what diseases they carry. Went out one night and there were thousands on my driveway.
they should call the gamecocks, pametto bugs. they'd look good on the side of helmuts
trueblue
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7348
posted
quote:Originally posted by Thomas Parkman: So be of good cheer. It is only lyme rage. It is not the end of the world. Your brain is infected with Boris and Myrtle Burgdorferi and their scuzzy realtions and they have made their beach houses and happy little homes in your nervous system, brain and spinal column so do not worry. Welcome to the club. Just take your antibiotics or herbs or draino and do to them what they are doing to you. Cheers. Thomas Parkman
Thank you, Thomas Parkman! I feel oddly better and needed this reminder and I needed it right now. (It could be I need it fairly often, although hate to admit it.)
note to self: forget about baking for a while and hide the axes.
-------------------- more light, more love more truth and more innovation Posts: 3783 | From somewhere other than here | Registered: May 2005
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Health
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6034
posted
Thanks for sharing this, it made my day, I had some of those thoughts today, and a lyme rage in my DARK room, while looking out the window at the
incredible sunny beautiful day I was missing again.
Good to know others minds go to where mine goes which is, not so pretty places.
Trish
Posts: 1250 | From Canada | Registered: Aug 2004
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mlkeen
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1260
posted
Oh Thomas, you say what we all feel so well!
I'm glad I don't drive slowly in SC. I'm always in a hurry to get there! We go down at Easter, gettimg away from snow and ice to play in Lake Murrey. We go home with bug bites and sinusitis from the pollen, but it is worth four days of warmth.
posted
Hey Thomas.. long time since I have been around.. glad to see you are still here..I really enjoyed your story it made me laugh, its all so true..too.
I also have the lyme rage thing going..It the oddest thing because I was always very easy going, hardly ever mad even .. that was before .. not since lyme got in my head.. actually I also have the crying uncontrollablly and impulse control problems as well..the whole emotional lability grouping..
When I was on long term IV treatment it surfaced and has just never left.. but now that I do not work its became much easier to deal with.. less other people in my life on a daily basis in which to get angry at.
I used to work in a restaurant where I waited tables.. boy there is some fuel for rage I tell you what.. just dealing with demanding people and other personalities in that type of setting when you are sick is a whole other thing entirely.Required alot od impulse control for sure.
I have to tell you about one very similar incident that you may just find amusing too .. When my rage was at it very worst 3 years ago .
One day... about a block from my house at an inersection this car in front at the light was not going inspite of the clear intersection, he just kept waiting and waiting..
My husband made several comments on this idiots driving skills .He was middle-eastern it appeared, ,maybe he did not know honestly how to drive here.. unsure..
As I sat there longer and longer at the intersection which cleared several times and this guy would not go.he just kept sitting there in the right turn yeild lane in front of me..I lost control of my rage as I really was in a hurry...and now late .. about 10 minutes had passed ..now I never use my horn because it does not work - and never has..
so as I became more frustratied I said aloud to my husband that If he did not go soon I was gonna hit this &#@%#@ and as the words came out my foot got a mind of its own and I hit the gas propelling my car into his rear end,this knocked it out into the intersection a ways - he was shocked , heck we were even shocked- especially me.
We both just started laughing because it was pretty insane to have done this but somehow funny( no major damage was done) but somehow it felt really good. I expected he would pull over at this point around the corner and we would exchange insurance etc.. but the guy must not have had either a licence or insurance- because he just took off as fast as he could.
It honestly did feel really great This was tghe cause of much ribbing and laughing among freinds for quite some time.. as you can imagine...we still laugh about it , sadly its only one of about a dozen lesser acted out rage incidents in my Lyme life thus far.
I hope you got a little laugh fom this one guys & gals.. best to you all , as always
-------------------- Sandi ( badkitti30043) Posts: 664 | From Atlanta Ga. | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
It seems that you have "Outted" many of us,myself included.The horn on my car stoped working a few days ago and I realized that I have greatly underestimated its theraputic value!
Sandi...your story reminds me of a seen from a great movie called "Barfly"...Funny Stuff! Alan
-------------------- Charter member of the ~ Delux Toasting Club ~ Our Moto: "Take No Prisoners" Posts: 95 | From San Diego | Registered: Nov 2005
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JRWagner
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3229
posted
Thomas,
Besides the incidents you mentioned, how was your day? No really, did you have a nice time?
BUY THE LINZERTORTE at a good German Bakery.Much easier and cooler...
Never attempt to bake anything when in the middle of a Southern heat wave and in the throes of Lyme rage.
Of course, I have no idea what you are referring to...
What, officer? Did I do what to that freakin' moron in the car behind me?!!!
Never. Not me...
My brain "overloads" when I get stressed or get angry...it seems like I can actually feel this happening inside my head.
And "THEY", in their infinite wisdom, say we are all making up stories.
For me, the best way to deal with Lyme rage is air conditioning and sleep...lots of sleep.
Hang in there buddy...you will get better someday, we all will.
Peace, love and wellness, JRW
Posts: 1414 | From Ny, Ny | Registered: Oct 2002
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Carol B
Unregistered
posted
Sadly, I think Lyme Rage has cost me a couple of relationships with friends and co-workers. Family? well, they're just stuck with me. Problem is - I always feel so justified when I go off.
Truth be known, sometimes I really enjoy it when someone takes the bait-things can get pretty LOUD. But I hate it when someone says "She's sick, she can't help it !"
One time, before I was diagnosed, and I was feeling a bit remorseful, wondering why I always wound up having to make amends for my behavior towards someone at the end of the day, my co-worker said to me "Well you're responsible for your behavior"
It was so confusing to me at the time, because of course I know that, but yet ,somehow I felt like I had lost control and I didn't know why. I'm not going to use Lyme rage as an excuse, but it does explain the feeling of bewilderment.
I thought I had just become more assertive, and here it was Lyme Rage all along ! OOPS
posted
i have to admit i was drinking a dang coke (ok, ok i know i'm not supposed to do that), when i read your post. i literally choked on it laughing so hard and got it up my nose, and blew coke out my nose!!! not funny!!!!!
boy have i been there.
you should come to texas and have to put up with us rednecks and aggies!!!! you'd fit right in with the pickup trucks with gun racks in the windows!!!!
Jill E.
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9121
posted
Gee, when I lived in Los Angeles, I just assumed they were a bunch of aggressive drivers. Maybe I was on the road with Lymies all along!!
I rarely have Lyme rage - I have the opposite with the uncontrollable crying over the littlest thing. Yeah, that makes me quite popular, too, with family, friends and clients!!
Sandi, when you described your car incident, I was thinking of the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes" when the Kathy Bates character hits the young women in the car who have stolen her parking place and says, "Yeah, but I'm older and have more insurance."
Maybe we all need bumper stickers: Warning, I have Lyme and I'm ticked off!
Thanks all for the great laugh.
Jill
-------------------- If laughter is the best medicine, why hasn't stand-up comedy cured me? Posts: 1773 | From San Diego | Registered: Apr 2006
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Andie333
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7370
posted
My Lyme rage happened in the beginning and was pretty short-lived once I started taking abx.
But now, like Jill, I'm dealing with the problem of extreme emotions. I listen to music, see an ad on tv, think about friends and I start crying. And crying. Today I went to see an Inconvenient Truth, and that made me cry.
In the past, I haven't really been known as a softie, so in many ways, this new crying phase is very strange.
I guess I'll keep trying to find funny movies to rent.
Andie
Posts: 2549 | From never never land | Registered: May 2005
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[ 18. July 2006, 08:22 AM: Message edited by: SayYesh ]
Posts: 90 | From New Jersey | Registered: Nov 2005
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klutzo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5701
posted
Thomas, As someone who has become a semi-hermit due to Lyme Rage, I want to thank you. I used to be the proverbial good-girl doormat, before Lyme changed me into the Tasmanian devilette!
Your post made me laugh so hard I cried. I intend to steal and use your phrase "homo sapheads" in the future....hope you don't mind.
I usually complain that 3/4 of humanity are sheep and/or morons, but just saying "homo sapheads" is so much more descriptive! Love it.
Neighbors are my number two source of rages. My inlaws are number one by a mile...they think I avoid them due to being ill, and I let them think that. I have not thrown a torte yet.....very messy! I am seriously considering purchase of a punching bag. Good idea, don't you think?
Bless you and your sense of humor,
Klutzo
P.S. The Palmetto bug is our state bird as well. These giant flying cockroaches love to suck liquid from the corners people's eyes and mouths when they are sleeping. I am not kidding. I wish the Chamber of Commerce would tell all prospective Florida residents about these disgusting bugs, then maybe we would not have 1,000 people PER DAY moving here to our already overcrowded state.
Posts: 1269 | From Clearwater, Florida, USA | Registered: May 2004
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