Topic: back from the hearing.. posted on general "what a big mess"
livinlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3773
posted
whoa now.. I guess had I not worked the past 2 months I would have had no trouble getting a continuous disability but....
low and behold... I have suffered and again made the wrong decision to stick it out..
I did get the closed award and the attorney did say that although I am presently trying to secure a job that will see both my medical and financial needs are met that it is not looking very promising and it may well be that we will be returning to seek continued disability.....
I interjected that I recently found out that I suffer from a heart ailment and my seizures are recurring.
He wished me luck and God bless me... :-)
Yes God bless me, since this will help take about 1/4 of the credit card burden off and I asked the lawyer if it would take another 2 years to get another hearing .. he said no he did not think that it would take that long.. I said cause I doubt very much that I can hold on that long again... this near killed me to wait this long...
had it been 16 months I might not have goofed up so badly... but no I was afraid to loose the roof over our heads.. I have tried .. which he said I'm sure not many people would have done what I did .. but he said what else would you have done..
I have since decided that the pain in my back now that it is not only in the lumbar region needs to be addressed ... I need to have something done to resolve this pain in my lower back....
I am beginning to think the morphine drip is starting to sound mighty appealing to me at this point.. does anyone know how well the bugs respond to that sort of treatment? Am I giving into them by doing this? or will they be poisoned beyond hope?
I had this theory you know on people who drink alcohol.. that the reason why they aren't ever sick until the damage is done is because the blood has too much alcohol running through it nothing could thrive in it...
once they cut back it becomes open territory and the area is wide open for attack.... and they have lowered their resistance to fight anything .. so they go down in a heart beat!!!
well after all it was just a theory anyways.. now go ahead and shoot holes in it!!!
I have to wait 3 months to the calvary to arrive (yep, it will take from 60-90 days for them to process that check people) so we may be on foreclosure notice since we are just about to close now and I can't see where we will get the first months mortgage payment from... which will be due the first of October.....
both boys are looking for a job.. matter of fact I have both boys girlfriends moving in here and one sons buddy is coming in tooo... I am not sure what this is about maybe to help offset the burden of paying the bills....
I sure hope they dont figure they can freeload off us... since we may have a home but nothing else..maybe this is just that they love me.. and want to lighten my burden and help us see through this troublesome time...
I am still looking but heaven knows I need a job to pay me what I am worth in order to keep moving forward or I can not see a point to this.. doubt I will find one that will pay what I need and cover my medical bills... Work did call and asked me to come in and sign for leave of absence ... where does this leave me ..
I think after 6 months I am entitle to Medical leave of absence S and long term... shoud I go with it.. and if I do .. if I can go back to work I have to go back with them right..??? and if I can't ??? then what happens ???? this is all new to me my friends
fire away!!!
hanging in there .. but that Morphine drips is looking so much better than this pain up and down anymore I just called my pain management and told them I can not handle this any more.. general says my chest is clear.. must be a pulled muscle .. but if that is the case why is it still paining me so????
thought I would be better by now?
OK Im done... sorry I have to go lay down now too much in one day .. way too much... OH BTW
we are closing on the house this friday .. so who is going to help us move??? LOL just kidding.. but not really, if anyone has anyone in this area that can lend a hand or a few feet... I never thought I would ever have to ask someone to help me move.. I am still too proud to ask .. I just hate this beggin stuff it is not suiting me at all..
I would sooner do it all myself really I would!!!
SO now is ENOUGH
-------------------- "Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." Posts: 1389 | From who knows, who cares, but somewhere over the rainbow | Registered: Mar 2003
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96227 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Aniek
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5374
posted
Livinlyme:
There are no wrong decisions. You did what you needed to do.
As far as the morphine drip, you are not giving into the Lyme if you get pain treatment. Although I don't know much about morphine itself, pain medications are different than alcohol.
If used properly to treat real pain, pain medications are rarely addictive. Your body will become dependent, which means you will need to increase the doseage to have the same effect. But as long as your need for the medication is for pain relief, and no other feeling, then you are ok.
Have you been working with a pain specialist? If not, I suggest finding a doctor who really understands how to treat chronic pain and what your options are. Even if that doctor doesn't believe Lyme is the cause, as long as the doctor is willing to treat your pain. Many LLMDs simpley don't understand pain treatment.
I wish you the best of luck. I know this is a difficult time for you and you were hoping for a different result.
-Aniek
-------------------- "When there is pain, there are no words." - Toni Morrison Posts: 4711 | From Washington, DC | Registered: Mar 2004
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livinlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3773
posted
aneik, thank you .. I have never had any benefit from pain medication not for any long term anyways.. they work about a month and then they no longer have a benefit to them.. the pain is passing through the meds so fast lately that I only wish and pray for a day even an hour where I did not have any pain.. a pain free hour would be such a pleasure at this point ...
but certainly a tease if nothing else.. the pain is too much but I think in time my body is learning to adjust to the level of pain it is dealing with.. I just sometimes wonder how much pain I can adjust to before i can no longer function due to the damage I am causing myself...if you can follow me here.. that is so hard to explain..
also i have recently posted one about the pain and associated cold clammy sweats what can be the casue of this??? is this heart related ... med related? infection related? lyme related?
My pain specialist is trying to get a spinal cord stimulator trial run ,,, to see if this will help control the pain.. right now they have me on fentynal patches for the pain which only lasted 2 months onthe 25 mcg's and 1 month on the 50 mcg's ,,, they do not want to increase to 75 mcg's .. they did not say why... I used toradol when the pain is too long and too intense that I need a short break from it other than that they can not do much..
I am wondering about massage therapy for my upper back with a pulled muscle the genral had mentioned will this help release that? I know my upper back on check ups is always wow you need to get that loosened up .. it is soo tight...
well my thought is it may be the only thing holding my body together .. LOL but anyways right now i need some thing to budge. i can not handle pain in both areas as intense as it is ... one has got to GO NOW!!
you think maybe massage on my upper will help get me past this? so that we can deal with my lower surgery?? to deal with the lower pain issues? I love when people can look in from the outside and see .. cause I am sitting on the inside and I am running blind here anymore.. have to go rest the arms now later and thanks!!
LInda
-------------------- "Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." Posts: 1389 | From who knows, who cares, but somewhere over the rainbow | Registered: Mar 2003
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