I'm losing my patience with my kids, my students, traffic, the dog- you name it. Patience is not especially one of my virtues but it's getting worse- I'm even considering giving up teaching cause emotionally, I can't handle it amymore.
What to do? Thanks, as always....
Jean
There is no question, though, that I felt all those things pre-Lyme. It was awful, and I cringe when I think of how I acted with my two young boys.
I don't have anythign to suggest, but please know that I can empathize.
Julie
There's a lot of it over in OT right now.
Classic examples. Totally useless and a waste of time.
Seriously though, understand it is normal but you must find a way of controlling it especially around little ones.
So I think it can be herx related, and in my case it passed, at least for now.
Now I know it was lymes and that was at least 2yrs ago. I realized after I started treatment and all at once I got better.
Now I started a new drug and am feeling a litte***++&&%%##$$ right now! LOL
Learn to laugh at yourself and not take yourself seriously!
Hope this helps! Mule
Julie,
Don't be so hard on yourself- we're all humans and we just happen to be sick ones. I'd be tough on myself after losing it with my kids before I was ever biten and before I ever knew it was Lyme. I think the really important thing here is for us to reflect on the fact that we blew it, that it wasn't good, and we need to try and not do it again.
I got to the point of blaming my Lyme on everything until my 13 year-old daughter told me that tripping on the pavement was normal and not Lyme!! Motherhood is tough and being a sick one definetly isn't easy- praying is good!
Take good care of yourself Julie!
jEAN
quote:
Originally posted by Julie-MA:
Well, it happened again tonight. I have been having a terrible few days and have also felt the anxiety, irritability, and rage increasing. Tonight I lost it with my 4 and 6 yr olds. Yelling and screeching completely uncontrollably and irrationally. I know it's the Lyme and I can't even believe my reaction as it is happening, but it makes me feel like a horrible person and goes against everything I want to be as a mom. I hate this disease.
I agree with Connie Mc. in that you can be conscious of having an out-of-proportion reaction but still not be able to do anything about it.
I believe there is something almost *chemical* going on. It truly feels beyond control to a large degree. Sometimes it feels like this almost physical welling up - maybe it is blood pressure, or some form of charged energy -- or, I think, chemicals of some sort.
It got worse for me during a break from antibiotics.
Maybe it is worth exploring either an anti-anxiety med to help with some calm (ativan at times, altho I think it can become addictive) or perhaps anti-depressants? Not that I'm advocating them necessarily!
Humor does help.
I don't have kids so I don't know what I would do. Maybe I would later gather them in my arms and try to explain that I am sick with something that can make me angry, and it doesn't mean that I don't love them. (?) If they were old enough maybe I'd tell them how they could help me. (i.e. Not to do what set me off). I think I'd feel better if I knew I'd reassured them.
But this is all totally hypothetical on my part.
Remember to take a deep breath when you can.
Maybe it makes sense to remove yourself from difficult environments when you can. (Altho I don't know about giving up teaching altogether). I know it's impossible to change everything - but maybe some sort of conscious strategy to make something less stressful?
Just wanted to send you some sympathy and understanding. It feels awful to jump on the people we love w/o wanting to or meaning to.
Please be gentle with yourself.
There have also been some other recent threads on this topic, so you'll find some additional people's input. I don't know how to paste the links, though.
Hoping you are feeling better very soon!
I am off meds today and tomorrow (as per my LLMD because of herxing headaches) and the rage seems to have subsided a bit. My kids still challenged me today, but I was able to cope and to me that is the most noticeable difference: In the throes of Lyme, I have no mechanism in place to deal with frustration appropriately; feelign better, I can just rationally deal with them.
I have talked to them, apologizing and explaining. I think they understand a little, and today was a much better day. Thankfully...
Thanks to all of you.
Julie
Not only is it a symptoms... but dealing with other symptoms... and being sick for a period of time and trying to function... trying to do the things we need to do for ourselves and our loved ones... is frustrating and also taxes our emotions...
I dont think that there is anything you can do if its just a symptom of the lyme....
But if part of it is that coping with the disease is really hard..... I find when I start to get really sad about my situation (which I am fortunate in that it isnt often)
I think about all that I have to be greatful for ....which is alot.
I dont think this will help you cuz you soundmore like it is just a symptom of the disease...
If you find yourself snapping at people maybe you could try to take a deep breathe before you respond...
I'm sorry I cant think of anything that is really helpful....Just know that this is one more symptoms that many others have....
Wishing you health, happiness and hope
I recall slamming a clip board on the desk and breaking it in half one day. I couldn't believe I had done that. Who was this person standing in my body?
The class couldn't believe it either. They kept asking me if I was OK and what did I do with their teacher. HA!
I got progressively worse...I started lifting desks and slamming them down.
Sure I did.
My body just started quitting on me. I started taking Friday's off for Vacation time. I just kept thinking I just needed to rest. But, I rested and that didn't help either.
I continue to easily be impatient with people. I have learned to be a hermit during those times.
I have yet to get well enough to even volunteer once a month in a classroom for an hour. I keep hoping.