LymeNet Flash: How do you handle everyday stress when you have no coping skills left?

This is topic How do you handle everyday stress when you have no coping skills left? in forum Medical Questions at LymeNet Flash.

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Posted by amkdiaries (Member # 7035) on :

I feel like I cannot handle the everyday issues of life-family arguments,endless tests, insurance company appeals and phone calls without completely melting down. The disease drains you of any coping power and I'm afraid that I'm on the edge of a breakdown. After a while, people don't care if you are sick, including family and don't worry about the toxic effects of stress and how it can put you in a deeper hole. I don't really want to depend on tranquilizers and my doctor won't give them to me anyway. What helps?

Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :

amk,

Katrina put everything in perspective for all of us. What those folks would do to have a "normal" life again with all their family members present, in their homes, and going to work if they are able to work, etc.

But seriously to answer your questions, here are my suggestions.

1. come here to the board for mutual support from those walking in your shoes;

2. Ask family members or friends who have OFFERED to help you for their help in doing things & keeping track of what they have done.

3. Keep track of what YOU have handled in the paperwork trail.

4. Pray to God or whoever you believe in to carry you thru the really bad times as all the Katrina survivors have.

Best wishes. We've all gone thru this at one time or more in our lives. Take it one BABY step at a time, and NO longer be a perfectionist! Lower your standards to what is acceptable to you....that helped me a lot!

bettyg

Posted by johnnyb (Member # 7645) on :

"Stress is caused by trying to do more and more in less and less time." I read that somewhere, once, and it is very true.

I know how it is. Except for my wife, no one believes that I am sick, or they think "ok, it's lyme, but you just take antibiotics and it's magically gone lickety-split!"

Don't we wish....

I agree with Betty. You have to accept that you are not going to be able to "do it all" like you used to, for the time being, anyway.

In terms of relaxation, I've used passionflower extract with some success. I used to take kava kava, but I've heard it's hard on the liver. Valerian smells awful but helps as well.

These are all beneficial herbs, but they are not a substitute for lifestyle changes and other relaxation techniques.

Try to have some fun as well, to get your mind off all the BS that we have to go through with lyme.

Every little thing helps.

- JB

Posted by HEATHERKISS (Member # 6789) on :

An occasional flip out is in order. [Mad]

Throw a friggin tantrum with shrill screaming and crying fits. [cussing]

Then take a long bath and go to bed.

Next day tell everyone in your circle what YOU NEED. [rant]

I have xanax. Lately it's a sleep aid. It helped when I went through an apphrehensive time.

Feel better,
Heather

Get a cleaning lady.

Posted by cigi (Member # 6600) on :

You have to realize that people are who they are and you have to depend on whatever you have to to make the day go by. Whatever it is, including pills, maybe aren't the answer, but what choice do you have right now in this situation. You are never going to get this minute again and if you realize that, maybe you'll take what you have to to maybe appreciate just a minute and get a minute of peace (mental and physical). Pain is pain and you can't deny that. Family does understand illness, but have their own and don't appreciate when you don't understand that maybe they have their issues too, but generally they are good hearted and deep down would do anything for you, but you are too much in your own pain to see anyone else's. We are all tired of this illness, talking about it, breathing it, doctors,... The pills cover up to make things tolerable till anyone finds the way out of their own hell. If you keep going on like this, you're going to give yourself a breakdown and you are just going to be the victim again. We're the victim of this disease, do you really need to drive the people that love you away? Put yourself in your family's shoes, and see their point and pain.
Cigi

Posted by janet thomas (Member # 7122) on :

Side step every bit of stress that you can.

If you feel something is too much put it off til later.

Don't expect those without Lyme to understand. They just can't.

Posted by DolphinLady (Member # 6275) on :

What helps me is to practice a form of deep relaxation on a daily basis, twice a day if I can, the more the better.

When stress hits, life happens, I can then find my way back to deep relaxtion quicker because my mind and body know how to get there from all the practice.

I'm a strong believer in both passive (sleep) and active rest (gentle yoga, music, breathing exercises, baths etc). Just find what works for you in your life and do it regularly. Developing more than one way is another good idea.

For example, yoga in the a.m., a bath in the p.m.

Posted by liz28 (Member # 4946) on :

I always needed a combination of theanine, which you can get at a friendly neighborhood vitamin store, and Celebrex. A lot of people say bromelain, a natural supplement, can work as well as Celebrex.

Posted by tjtighe (Member # 4057) on :

Lots of good advice here. Two thoughts come to my poor lyme brain.

1. From Mtn. climbing instructor: "When it gets really hard concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.

2. Go to search for "Spoon Theory" (shorter version in Lyme Times)., print it and give it to whomever you think will understand and be more helpful.

tj

Posted by lou (Member # 81) on :

Here is the spoon theory:

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/spoons.htm

Posted by lightfoot (Member # 2536) on :

Dear Lyme Friend....

We have all been there. I think the inability to handle the stress is a Lyme symptom and stress has to be lowered as part of the treament. What a circle!

BUT.....I keep in mind as much as possible...to keep my stress levels down, it is an intregal part of my treatment.

*I choose my battles.

*I withdraw from power struggles.

*Laugh....find or rediscover your funny bone, movies, jokes, pictures...whatever it takes.

*Perspective, perspective, perspective....who is going to care in one hundred years...how important is it??

You've had many wonderful suggestions above.

Meditation on the breath helps me too....I sit there even when I don't want to or can't sit still, knowing that I can't do it wrong.

Whatever you do.....hang in there...you are not alone, amkdiaries!!!

Healing laughter and smiles..lightfoot [Smile]