LymeNet Flash: Your Funniest Doctor story

This is topic Your Funniest Doctor story in forum Medical Questions at LymeNet Flash.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://flash.lymenet.org/ubb/ultimatebb.php/topic/1/39480

Posted by groovy2 (Member # 6304) on :

Hi All

I thought it might be fun to
tell your funniest doctor story--

I will start off and I swear the
story is 95 percent true--

About 5 years after I got sick-
I went to see a stomic doctor--

I had no
idea what was wrong with me
but I was perty sure I had
candida for starters--

I was laying on exam table 30 min.
naked except for one of those
paper exam robs--Very cold-

The doctor was a Germen dude-
about 50 or 60 --tall and skinny
with thin white hair--
He walked very fast-

He was wearing a white lab coat
and looked like the- Fearless Leader-
on the Bull Winkle cartoon--

When the doc came into the room
he walked quickly to his desk sat
down and started looking at forms
I had filled out--
He said nothing to me--

After a minute or so I asked
if he was the doctor?
He answered with supreme athority
that he was--

He then put a monical in his
right eye glanced at me once
and continued to look at the forms
and mumble to himself-

I had brought a very complete
list of my symptoms with me-

(full page-turns out it was
a very complete list of Lyme-
babs symptoms)--

I got up off the exam table
and walked over to the doc
and handed him my list
of symptoms--

He looked somewhat supprised
that I had approched him and
had handed him this list--

He examined the list for a few
seconds and started putting
big check marks beside each
symptom and said nuro doctor
for this--Bone doctor for that ect.

Well- I then told the doc that I
thought I had Candida--

He looked up from the paper--
Blood vains in his bald head started
to pulse and grow--
His face turned red quickly--

He then Shot out of his chair
to his feet--
Kind of starlted me
so I jumped back--

Then All of a sudden he
started Jumping up and down
Yelling--
There is no such thing as Candida---
Over and Over--

Well I not one to pass up a
Good Jumping Up and Down session
--so I Joined In--

We were both getting some
pert good air-and was kind of fun-

He just keep jumping and yelling
There is no such thing as Candida-
He had a crazed look on his face-

Then all of a sudden he stopped
jumping and his face turned
bright red--

Then with a pop- the monical
he had in his right eye-
shot out and bounced
off the wall 3 feet away
and fell to the floor
shattered in peices--

I could see this was going
-No Where- so I grabed all my
forms and put them in the trash--
Then I grabed my cloths and
hopped out of the room-
Leaving the doc still
hopping and yelling--

Im sure patients and nurses could
hear all this going on--
Was perty loud-

I asked receptionest if doc
was like this all the time--

She did not say a word but
the look she gave me I
feel this was common--

I hopped out to parking lot
of the hosipital and put
on my cloths--

Total time seeing ducktor-
Maybe 4 minutes--Cost-$175

Ok-Ok I did not hop to
parking lot -I walked--Jay--

Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :

I have NO funny experiences with ducks! [shake]

I think the one you saw must have a few screws loose, to say the least. [dizzy]

I think he needs to be checked for Lyme AND candida!! Pert near!! [Big Grin]

PS....My last "altercation" with a duck did not result in his being paid for the "discussion."

Posted by mom2DJM (Member # 8245) on :

COST FOR SEEING QUACK DUCKTOR FOR 4 MINUTES: $175

FUNNY STORY OF DUCK STILL USING MONICAL: Priceless

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thanks for that great story, Groovy2. Be thankful that his eyepiece didn't clock you in the head.

Hope you've found an LLMD!

Posted by LC (Member # 7070) on :

This one may give you all a little chuckle.

As a lot of you know, Bicillin IM is injected in the upper outer quadrant of the buttocks.

My dear mother agreed to be my injector.

She diligently read the dr.'s printed instructions prior to attending the injection lesson. They stated the site should be 5-7 inches over from the crack.

Fast forward to me face down on the exam table, half my heiney exposed, with my mother and LLMD looking on. They were discussing the procedure...."crack, crack, crack, crack" was all I heard.

My thought bubble said "I wish they'd stop saying 'crack'....".

Then I hear my mother say..."she's going to be mad but I am going to do this anyway..."

So she pulls out a mini measuring tape she had hidden in her pocket and proceeded to measure precisely 5-7 inches from the 'CRACK'.

This of course, does not bother me in the least. As I will do almost anything to be well again. [lol]

Posted by trueblue (Member # 7348) on :

Heeheehee, you guys made me laugh. Thank you!
I don't know if this one's funny but I got a kick out of it.

I had gone for a routine check with my then LLMD (my absolute fave by a long shot).

While examining me he looked at my throat and mouth and said:
"Is your mouth very dry? It's seems to be foaming."

My reply: "Yes, I had tuna fish for lunch."

Him: Does that make your mouth dry?

Me: Yes, it always does.

Him: Hmmm... I LOVE Tuna fish!!!!!

I smiled all the way home. [Smile]