(it is ok to laugh.... cracking myself up sometimes gets me through the day)
Two days now since I've heard the ringing rhyming in my head. I try to turn them off but I hear every word that's said.
I really want to run away or cover up in bed, But either way I'm still with me, and that includes my head.
Always, there inside my brain, this side talks to that, Then one wants some quite time and the other wants to chat.
Usually they work together; often times they play, But when they spend it bickering, it wastes away the day.
Sometimes it's a benefit, two heads inside my hat; Then one gets mad, and demands to know `why did you say that!'
I scribbled this poem on a napkin in June of 2005. At the time, I didn't know I had lyme, but I did realize I was loosing my noodle!
My migraine was so intense, I literally could not see to write. I have never been one for poetry, and don't claim to understand even my own..... but if poetry is an expression of ones inner reality, this is definitely my best work.
Von Shell
Posted by grace1 (Member # 10347) on :
wow that's really interesting. i get these word streams through my head sometimes when i'm falling asleep, however then i can't remember them afterwards, but i do know that while it's going on, i'm thinking, wow, i've never written so creatively or stylistically in my life! interesting how the brain works (or doesn't work).
my poet friend actually said that she writes poetry when she's falling asleep too, she does not have lyme, she's always been a poet.
Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
I'm sure that was annoying when you had it, but it sure makes you look talented.
Your poem is kinda cute, and it makes sense.
At what point did your brain stop doing this? Or...has it stopped.
If you still have this ability, I'd say you should keep writing things down.
We have several other people here who are talented at putting things in rhyme.
Carol
Posted by von (Member # 8333) on :
No more ringing or rhyming in my head. It went away with treatment. I don't get lost anymore either, but fatigue and confusion are still my friends.
It was almost fun having so many thoughts in my head. It was also extremely annoying.
I would be driving down the road one day, and the left side of my brain would say, "look at that, that farm is for sale..... I wonder how much they want, how many acres, whats the zoning, what do you think? (asking the right side) Right side says: "don't want to go there I have a headache"
Left side: "sorry didn't mean to bother you. Suppose that little house is part of it? and the fields next door? It's close to town and above the flood line. Do you want to check it out?"
Right: "leave me alone! I have a headache."
I have always have thought a lot, but never had full 2 person conversations until I had Lyme.
(hope this helps someone or is at least interesting... 'cause it is kinda uncomfortable to admit) Von
Posted by grace1 (Member # 10347) on :
wow that is interesting. thank you for sharing. and glad to hear that it went away.
i have always thought a lot too. now my thinking is way down. it's like television static in my head. for a while it was a horror movie.
Posted by johnlyme1 (Member # 7343) on :
It reminds me of an old Pink Flyod lyric, "the lunatic is in my head"
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
1st of all, Von,I really enjoyed reading your poem. Would you consider reposting in our funny haha CD hit site?
2nd, I usually refer to myself as "we", as in "how are we doing today?" meaning my regular self and my Lyme self.
Posted by humanbeing (Member # 8572) on :
My rhyming, circling musical thoughts were so bad at one time I had to sleep with a radio on to override the intrusive thoughts..
It is scary and makes you feel crazy...getting better with treatment but comes back a little during flares...
Posted by 3greatkids (Member # 3838) on :
The only good part of Lyme, the musical hallucinations and the dreams.
Wish I could have had a DVD brain recorder hooked up.I'd like to hear and see some of that again!!!I was lucky to have had it come in dreamland form.
Hang in there Von.The fatigue/confusion will improve.Man,at times my mind could have it all together,but putting it into action was another story.
There use to be a thread here about the funny things folks did during treatment.Like putting keys in the fridge.I used frozen strawberries one night to relieve the headaches and woke up in a berry mush.The reality of it all came out w/ these funny stories.Yes,it did help to laugh at our goof ball ways.
People say'It's all in your head"....well yes,in ways it is.
Thanks for sharing.
Posted by grace1 (Member # 10347) on :
yeah, just be thankful if your intrusive thoughts are not scary or harmful.
i never was capable of thinking a thought about dark things like suicide or killing, but this disease brought out a horror in my brain. it's very scary, and very hard to bear. they seemed to revolve around my seizures. it's gotten better for now. but i still think thoughts i never would have thought before.
the psychologist i saw for neuropsych testing was trying to explain how these kinds of intrusive thoughts could be due to repression, yadda yadda. sorry, they just don't get it. a formerly happy healthy young gal who has nothing to repress does not just all of a sudden one day get crazy horrors coming out the brain. it's not repression, just the brain going haywire...
musical hallucinations and ringing/rhyming sounds a bit better...
Posted by von (Member # 8333) on :
Oh Grace, I hear ya. Intrusive thoughts are so hard. Yuck! Your not alone. I guess I didn't share about the real hard stuff... still can't.
I had a real bad family crisis the same week as my bull's eye rash. I had plenty to repress, so it was easy to blame my difficulties on that.
Having that extra garbage actually delayed my lyme diagnosis. A LOT!
I had a pretty bad bout with depression. Well, I guess regular depression plus lyme.
My tiredness was attributed to that.... the gastro asked how my childhood was. (I'm 41) And the ID Said 'woman with history of depression'.
Not only did they think it was repression, but I believed them!
I am glad that you know that these thoughts are not you. Believe in yourself... you know yourself best.
AND REMEMBER: Just because it is from the neck up does NOT mean it is all in your head!
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Hey Von -- I hear the start of another poem in your last line here, Dr Seuss type poem, telling us all the other places it could be besides the head.
AND REMEMBER: Just because it's from the neck up does not mean it is all in your head -- Why, it could be in your ..., it could be in your...
Etc -- your voices could have some fun with this, methinks Posted by von (Member # 8333) on :
Ok, already....... I do still have some voices in my head. How is this Robin?
THINK Prevention
I got bit Down by the crik By a tick, Picking up sticks
Protect the Steelhead, That's what the sign said Planting trees Brush past to my knees
They'll attack on your back, Or your rump behind a stump,
So if you gotta pee, Listen to me, By the grass, Watch your a**
[ 07. December 2006, 11:43 AM: Message edited by: von ]
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Just goes to prove the old adage you might receive what you a** for -- lol von
if you wanna be a lymenut, you could post it at the cd site.
also, it's your a**
thx, rhymin' simon
[ 06. December 2006, 03:25 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
Posted by minimonkey (Member # 8693) on :
I have that weird intrusive rhyming thing sometimes, too -- though usually it is just a song constantly running through my head. That seems to be getting better with continued treatment, though not entirely gone.
However...
I can rhyme, all the time, on a dime...it's a crime! It is kinda fun for me, albeit annoying as all getout for anyone on whom I inflict it!
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