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Cathy
Posted by aiden424 (Member # 7633) on :
I am so very so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs,
Kathy
Posted by Marnie (Member # 773) on :
May your little angel smile in God's hands and may you know this is so.
Posted by lymemomtooo (Member # 5396) on :
luvdogs, I am so sorry for your loss. I have been there and know the pain first hand. And remember the stupid comments. Many really do not know what to say and come up with something they think is cute because it is a nervous topic. Forgive them..
But remember that you probably did nothing wrong. It is often for a reason that no one will ever understand. In my situation, the baby and I had hormonal conflicts. The Dr said this can occur at 2 months. The dr told me that she thought it was a boy. So I always wonder how he would have turned out.
When I was starting to have symptoms of a second miscarriage at 2 months with the next child,l was lucky enough to have a high risk Dr step in and save the baby. I was high risk for the entire time and had to stop working. I was a phys. ed teacher and they would not let me do anything and later I was on bed rest. I also had to take progesterone. It worked. I gave birth to a beautiful little girl that is now 20. She is my lymie but so grateful she made it.
I was almost 36 when she was born, so try to not worry about the age issue.
Good luck and do not forget. Remember with some momentos, or plant a tree or shrub in memory of what should have been. hugs. lymemomtooo
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I'm so sorry, luvs! I pray your angel is smiling down at you.
We HAVE missed you as well!
Don't give up!
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Posted by luvdogs (Member # 9507) on :
Thanks you guys so much. I have been afraid to post but knew I had to eventually. I appreciate everybody's support so much, and I know that many many have been through similar. You guys were all there from the beginnng when I was panicking about the meds I was on and couldn't get info from docs etc... and I got so much peace of mind just from this board.
Anyway, I hope that people have learned from my experience and know that the best thing that we can do if we get pregnant is just to stay calm, not stress about the meds too much, just find the most balanced and conclusive answers that we can, and then relax and have faith. I stressed too much, and if it happens again I will have more knowledge and try to stay calm and relaxed, and listen to only the docs who are supportive and not fear instilling - as a friend told me when I was stressing during the pregnancy " Fear and stress is just another pill for the baby to take, and probably the worst one".
Thanks again everybody!
S.
Posted by savebabe (Member # 9847) on :
I have been thinking about you and hoping you are feeling OK physically and mentally.
Please E-Mail me when you feel better.
Posted by karatelady (Member # 7854) on :
I'm sorry too for your loss.
In my 20's I had around 10 miscarriages - I know, its a lot!
I do think I had lyme at the time but only had a sore neck and heart palpitations which doctors said wasn't anything (of course).
Anyway, I found a doctor who immediately discovered that I had endometriosis and fibroid cysts. He did the surgery, put me on Clomid and Pergonal (not sure on spelling) and did a sonogram which showed I had two very ripe eggs.
I was 33 at the time. He told me I could very well have twins. Today I have 20 year old boy/girl twins! Also, because I was a high risk pregnancy with all the miscarriages and having twins, he sewed up my uterus at 3 months.
At 24 weeks I did have contractions so I went on bed rest for awhile and was thankful for the stitches (Cerclage).
I don't know if lyme played a part in the miscarriages, but I do wonder if the endometriosis and cysts were caused by lyme.
Don't give up ~ also, give yourself time to grieve. Sometimes even husbands don't understand what we go through because they don't go through the hormone changes.
Sandy
Posted by Boomerang (Member # 7979) on :
I am so sorry to hear this. Take care of you. Lots of good thoughts going your way.
Take care.
Posted by mag (Member # 8920) on :
luvdogs,
so sorry about your miscarriage. i too, miscarried at 7 months- pre lyme. feels aweful to go through this- God will take care of the little one for you !
The government age for child bearing is up to 55 years of years - so don't let any one pick on you !!
take care and get well
mags
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
luvs, I too am so sorry about your loss. Sometimes we can drive ourselves crazy wanting to know the whys of our life journey.
Take care, Pam
Posted by 5dana8 (Member # 7935) on :
Luvs I am so very sorry for your loss
Posted by SarahL (Member # 11452) on :
Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. I've had two m/c myself, both in the three years after one very rough pg (my son is now diagnosed autistic and years behind his peers in social and speech areas).
At the time I knew nothing about Lyme and wondered if I'd done something wrong.
Now I believe ld was responsible. Following the crazy line of medical complaints and doc visits over the last 7 years or so, everything seems to be related to lyme. I know in my heart that it was responsible for my m/cs as well.
Please remember to be very kind to yourself right now. Whether you had time to "prepare" or no, it is the most profound loss I think we can ever feel. Don't forget to let yourself rest, love and give yourself time.
You don't know me (I'm very very new here), but I hope you'll accept my sympathy, empathy and prayers for healing.
All my best,
Sarah
Posted by EWT1638 (Member # 11315) on :
Words don't cover the grief, but it, and my prayers, are what I have to give.
I pray that it was not the Lyme and not your young age of 39. Blessings to you and your family.
Posted by bejoy (Member # 11129) on :
I too had a miscarriage, possibly due to undiagnosed lyme, at about 37. That baby was as real to me as my other two, and the loss was tremendous. I know the experience can be different for everybody. I am sorry for your loss, however it feels to you.
I found it especially hard because people either didn't want to talk about it, or just told me I could have another. It was hard to grieve alone. I'm glad you have lymenet friends, and hope you have others who are understanding.
I subsequently had another baby who is four years old now. I had to go on progesterone to stay pregnant and to get her here. She's a little sunshine!
Posted by Cobweb (Member # 10053) on :
luvdogs-I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. But I am glad you posted.
Sadly , having Lyme doesn't make us immune to other heartaches.
One of the books I am currently reading is "A Broken Heart Still Beats" to help me in my own grief. Our local chapter of Compassionate Friends has been a good resource for me. The website is www.baltimoretcf.com.
Perhaps, if you feel the need, there is some local support for you. I also benefited from attending a ten week series at a nearby church called "GriefShare" Google it if interested.
May 19th I hope to attend a conference of Hope and Healing in Annapolis, entitled "Into the Valley and Out Again" Keynote Speaker Richard Dew, M.D.
Again- thank you for the courage to share.
Carol
Posted by lymewreck36 (Member # 4395) on :
I am so sorry you went through this. I had a similar experience. With my third child, I went in for my 20 week gestation appointment, and found that the baby did not have working kidneys.
To make a very long and sad story short, we waited three months for the "loss." She went to 35 weeks gestation and then died in the birth canal.
I did get to hold her for two hours.
AT the time, my lyme was not diagnosed and I was in very bad shape. Years later after diagnosis, I did learn that gestational lyme can harm can cause baby to have cystic kidneys, which is what my child had.
The good part of this story is that, without a diagnosis yet, I managed to guard my health to the point of feeling pretty strong a year later. We decided to try again, and we carried with no problem and I had a healthy baby girl, my fourth. (three still living because the 3rd was stillborn.)
So yes, don't give up on this if you feel you might be able to try again. Just take good care of you, and go for it, that is, if you can handle either outcome.
I was diagnosed with lyme 3 years after my fourth was born, and had been reinfected twice at that point in Danbury Connecticut. My children also got infected in Connecticut, and my husband.
But I do know the pain of waiting for the death to happen, as you mentioned you did. I know how terrifying that is, and then the relief afterwards, and then the grieving. If you need to talk with someone, please PM me anytime and will be glad to listen for as long as you need.
Mary
Posted by lymewreck36 (Member # 4395) on :
O.K. I am posting back to back. I tend to be long winded.
You are not too old to have a baby. The more important issue is how good you feel, and your partner.
I read a book lent to me after my experience, and it was called "A Little Death."
It is a woman recollecting her death of a child. I did not EVER read that part becuase I just could not do any extra crying.
I did read the majority of the book that is in a question/answer format. It addresses issues of the Christian who is questioning God's purpose, where is my child now, and so forth.
I found it very, very helpful and referred to it at many tender moments alone.
Years later, someone who knew I went through this had a relative going through it and asked me for the book. I lent it to her and never saw it again. So I can't give you reference material.
But it was written by a Christian woman who travels to large Churches to lecture.
I'll try to find a link to it and get back to you.
Biggest Hugs.
Mary
Posted by lymewreck36 (Member # 4395) on :
O.K. I did a little searching and the book I am talking about, "A Little Death" appears to be written by Mary Jane Creel, and is out of print. The author does comment on amazon.com that she would like to bring it back into print at some time. I'm sorry, but keep an eye out for it, and I'm sure that it will always be good food for the soul, no matter when you are able to view it.
Mary
Posted by Health (Member # 6034) on :
I am so sorry for your loss.
Sometimes this can be good though, as either you or the baby was not strong enough to carry it through.
Hope things go better for you if you try again.
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Trish
Posted by csperanza (Member # 9613) on :
I am very sorry for your loss. I suffered through several years of infertility treatments, including a miscarriage, and I wish you the best. These are extremely difficult times so try to take very good care of yourself. Lots of treats and lots of hugs.
Carol
Posted by dmc (Member # 5102) on :
How sad. I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted by wiserforit (Member # 9732) on :
oh luvdogs --
I am so sorry for your loss.
I had my first miscarriage at 38; second pregnancy became healthy baby and I was 39 -- my first son is now 9.
I had my second miscarriage at 42; fourth pregnancy became healthy baby and I was 43 -- my second son is now five.
Don't listen too hard to numbers and statistics. Go for it when and if you're ready and don't expect to NOT be anxious after what you have been going through...
I only enjoyed my pregnancies after the first 7 months. Up until then, I was a nervous wreck.
Nerves aside, I have been blessed. Your angels are watching over you too.
Prayers and hugs with salty tears and love,
wiserforit
Posted by luvdogs (Member # 9507) on :
Thanks everybody again, so much, for your input and for sharing your experiences. I can't believe what people have been through! But there are so many inspiring stories as well. I am so glad that i shared my experience, for my sake and for others who can read this, This is hope and there is also the knowledge that we are not alone, and that this group is such a wonderful support.
I am sorry for everybody's experiences, but I think that we also learn so much from them, and the outcome is not always horrible. So many have gone on to have healthy experiences afterwards, and even if not, the learning is invaluable. Even if I cannot go on to have a child, this has been an incredible wake-up call for me on so many levels and in many ways I feel like I am born again. It has made me re-evaluate everything and sort of start my life over. Although I am still in the midst of confusion and sorrow, I feel more hope than I have in a long time.
I hope that others can come through an experience like this and feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you again everybody. That's all I can say for now.