I am feeling like I could physically blow up. I am so angry all the time and I don't know what to do with it. It is a lot worst this time around.
Is the rage, paranoia and anger associated with Lyme or a coinfection or both?
I am not feeling much support in this forum. I have posted at least 5 messages and some have never been responded to so I thought I would try one more time. It might just be my insecurities making me feel that way, I don't know.
I see my PCP today. They are the ones that retested me. It has been 6 years since I was on antibiotics. I go see my LLMD on 8/15.
I just feel like I am going to explode on someone and I really have to control it but don't know how long I can do it. So scared I will go off on one of my customers and get in real trouble.
Posted by valymemom (Member # 7076) on :
Sorry, you have not received a response. You know folks often read and just don't know what to say. If you came to this board in the past years, you know good folks are here.
I am glad you are seeing someone soon - although I know 2 weeks away does not seem soon when you are feeling overcome and frightened. I just detest the waiting that comes with these tickborne diseases!!!!!!
Have you done a search of rage on this site? Were you treated for bart before? Could you have been reinfected?
Hang in there! I would hate to mess with what your doctor wants to do but....(Is it the same llmd you saw before?)
but......resveratrol is a Buhner herb for bart which you could take with samento from (nutramedix)
And someone recently posted about a bart homeopathic but it must be ordered by a chiro or naturapath or homeopathic doc.
Again.....I detest that we need to be the ones to do so much of the research for ourselves.
Since you already have an appointment scheduled.....maybe you can call the office and ask to be considered first for any earlier cancellation.
Posted by Dizzyygirll (Member # 3576) on :
it is the same llmd but I am confused as to why he never tested me for coinfections. So maybe he will this time with the rage I am feeling. He diagnosed me with Neurological Lyme in late 2000 and the treatment went well.
Thanks for the response. I guess I am just totally freaking out. A lot of the people who were in my life in 2001 aren't really around now and my good friends that I still have weren't there on a daily basis to see what I went through so I think noone close to me really understands how devastated I am. My kids were even too young to remember.
Tara
Posted by Cobweb (Member # 10053) on :
I take zoloft- it's part of my anger management program.
I'll go check your recent posts-I usually post to topics I identify with.
Take Care, Carol
Posted by valymemom (Member # 7076) on :
Even our llmds are imperfect. Co-infection testing is as poor as Bb testing.
Do the search here to get the symptom list related to (especially)bart and babs so you can clearly identify all your symptoms to him. Of course, everything overlaps so that is why identifying the infection can be so hard.
Posted by GenaD (Member # 11988) on :
I relate to the rage stuff. I have Lyme, Babesia, and Bartonella. Don't know which is doing what, but it takes a lot of effort for me to control my temper sometimes.
My fuse is short and I seem to find people much less intelligent than I used to find them, lol!
I also have other mood stuff. Like for the last month I'm feeling like I don't love my husband. This scares me. I know logically that I do love him but I don't FEEL it sometimes.
My llmd recently put me on Sam-E for depression. I'm hoping it helps. I hate feeling this way and I don't want to make any rash decisions, knowing that I'm not in my right mind!!
So I definitely can relate to you...and sometimes I do notice that people won't answer questions which is annoying, but eventually they do. I'm so thankful to Lymenet because no one else but a Lymie could understand the crazy ride Lyme takes us on!!
Posted by tailz (Member # 10014) on :
I never had a problem with my temper - never. Sometime after they put me on steroids though, my mood changed dramatically, and I just blamed it on moving stress.
In retrospect, it was Lyme - or one of these bugs, though I'm only testing positive for Lyme. I did test 'equivocal' on my malaria though (they aren't sure), so they saw something inside my red blood cells, but who knows what!
So you might want to get them to check you for malaria, too, even though they will tell you it does not exist.
Hang in there though - I've found baking soda baths and avoidance of electromagnetic signals (TV, cell phones, wireless, etc...) to be helpful, too.
Posted by lorima (Member # 11925) on :
I'm prone to anger and depression, especially when I get outraged over something (like ID ducks and public indifference.)
I take Zoloft.
I do regular Buddhist practice. I belong to a meditation group that meets twice a week and discussion groups that meet twice a month.
I'm sure other spiritual practices would also help, as long as they themselves don't make one angry.
For instance, if they shame people for feeling anger, which my childhood religion did.
Psychotherapy is the usual recommendation, and might help, but it's expensive, and can fan anger rather than resolve it.
Most of us Lyme sufferers have a lot of reasons to be angry.
Anger helped me get diagnosis and treatment for my husband and myself.
But it also saps my energy, which is precious and needs to be used wisely.
I hope you find a way to deal with it that works for you.
Best wishes, Lorima
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
zoloft has really helped my short temper anger! i can tell if i forgot to take it too; ask hubby!
![[lol]](graemlins/lol.gif)