Ever since first getting really ill (about 8, almost 9 months ago), I generally am never in the mood. My libido is almost none.
Since being on medication, it seems to have helped some, but not much. I still never feel like doing anything.
Has anyone else noticed this due to their lyme?
It's terrible especially since I'm a newly wed and my husband is always in the mood.
Posted by tic chick (Member # 9156) on :
This was definetly a sx of mine that has improved with 1 year of treatment.
It will return Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
It's hard to be in the mood when you are feeling pain, yet I find it's good pain relief.
Just be sure he understands that it's not him at all. It's your illness. Men are sensitive that if you don't physically want them that you don't love them. They need the physical as a show of love.
It will mean the world to him if you are just open ... even if you're not in the mood.
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
what's sex?
Posted by disturbedme (Member # 12346) on :
quote:Originally posted by randibear: what's sex?
LOL. Exactly. :\
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
How about when both you and your husband have Lyme?
No fireworks here.
At least none of the personal nature.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posted by GenaD (Member # 11988) on :
disturbedme,
You are not alone! I'm a newley-wed as well, and my husband has never been sick a day in his life, works out 5 days a week, and is ALWAYS in the mood.
Before I was diagnosed with Lyme, he was very sensitive when I wasn't in the mood. Guess I didn't have a good enough "reason" for him other than I felt horrible and sex was the last thing on my mind.
Since my diagnosis and talking about it, things are much better. My advice is just to keep in communication about it. Hopefully your hubby is understanding, and treatment will help you. Treatment seems to be helping me a little.
Posted by Blackstone (Member # 9453) on :
I think this effects people differently. I'm a young man of 23, and though I've been sick since about 16 or so I've always had a high sex drive. What suffers however, is performance.
I'm sure that with treatment you'll feel more amorous. In conjunction with your treatment, you may want to ask your doctors about libido boosting supplements and drugs. Many high quality herbs can make a difference for people. Also, if your testosterone is too low (Yes, women have testosterone too, though nowhere near as much as a man.), it can be remedied, which will definitely help the situation.
Don't be afraid to ask for help from medical professionals. Your sexual health is important Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
****Also, if your testosterone is too low (Yes, women have testosterone too, though nowhere near as much as a man.), it can be remedied, which will definitely help the situation.****
Yes, get your hormone levels checked and adjusted if need be! I was low or low normal on 18 out of 24 hormones several years ago.
That was adjusted by taking the needed bio-identical hormones. Libido is back!
Posted by 1Bitten2XShy (Member # 12280) on :
With ya on that one. Of course in the beginning I was told it had to due with my age, 42...YEAH right!
I have a great husband who is more than understanding, but sometimes even with all the understanding in the world, I can still feel guilty.
Posted by AliG (Member # 9734) on :
42, married, libidoless and often feel guilty.
I just realized I'd better clarify.
Me too. Posted by savebabe (Member # 9847) on :
I have been married for 2 1/2 years, and I can understand your frustration.
It is hard to think about sex when you are in pain.
The good news is when your TBD's get better so does your sex life.
So, keep taking those meds!!
Posted by buckfever (Member # 9876) on :
From the sound of it I think alot of my friends wives must have lyme ! Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
quote:Originally posted by buckfever: From the sound of it I think alot of my friends wives must have lyme !
I actually think it's common even for healthy women to have a lower libido than their husbands ... it's just that men think about sex and get aroused, but it takes more than that with women in an established relationship.
This is a tangent, but maybe it will help, maybe it's as relevant for those of us who are sick as it is for healthy women ...
I have a friend who had a laundry list of things her husband wasn't doing as a husband and father that he really should have been doing ... she wanted advice from me because I've been married for over 20 years and it's like we're still newlyweds, she wanted to know our secret ... I asked her one question -- "You are right that he should be doing all those things, are you doing the ONE thing on his list?"
BTW, after that, they sure seemed like they were happier.
Our spouses put up with a lot with taking care of us ... this is a relatively easy way to take care of them and show them love for their care. Sometimes it's not a matter of "feeling" like it. And I don't know about you, but it's easier and more fun to "just do it" than to feel guilty all the time. Posted by AliG (Member # 9734) on :
Last couple of times of "just doing it" were actually pretty painful. Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
quote:Originally posted by AliG: Last couple of times of "just doing it" were actually pretty painful.
That's different than just not being in the mood.
Posted by Skyler (Member # 11549) on :
I have noticed for me periods like this for me. Its as if I forget I even have sex organs at all .
But for me, this has not been all the time.
I just feel bad for my boyfriend durring these times, because he has been at my side for 3 years, all of them I have been sick. He helps me to the bathroom, rubs my legs, gives me shots, deals with my meds and my icecream cravings. Even when I cant be there for him in that way, he is totally fine. Such a trooper. I could not be luckier to have him...
Hang in there. I would say look into what is going on with your hormones. And Ask your doctor about taking any herbal supliments that might help... I hear there are herb supliments for that, I do not know if they work, I would imagen they might help people balance their hormones.
Also, sex sparks a great deal of hormones. For me (embarassed smily face here) sometimes 'getting in the game' even when I do not feel up to it, turns back on my sex drive. That might be something you would want to try, or even have tried.
I wish you luck in solving this problem!!! I am sure your doctor would have some answers for you if you asked him/her.
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
I'm 100% with Ali; so much severe pain worse than some of surgeries I've had!
Main thing if you can't perform sex, spend special time together hugging, kissing, and doing other things where pain is no problem.
REMEMBER, I LOVE YOUs spoken all thru the day; don't take them for granted.
i hope to regain that part of my life; excellent stress reducer too for us both.
Posted by kitkat32 (Member # 9682) on :
My hubby and I just had this conversation again yesterday.
I have had complete loss of libido for almost 2 years. It is very frustrating for me and for him.
It hasn't been 2 years since we have been together but it's getting few and far between.
He is very understanding but I know it hurts his feelings.
kit
Posted by GenaD (Member # 11988) on :
Knowing how important sex is to my husband, and not wanting to feel guilty, I would "just do it" to keep him happy, but then that backfired when he suspected I was in pain and didn't want to do it!!
I had to be IN THE MOOD, too! Couldn't win!
He is much more understanding now, which of course makes me want to have it more, anyway.
Posted by Marnie (Member # 773) on :
Research Pycnogenol in depth .
You are going to be shocked...I promise!
It functions on MANY levels!
A brilliant ID doctor we had the opportunity to talk to very recently mentioned this - he used it to treat diabetic patients who have serious vascular problems.
HIS suggestion was 1mg for every # of body weight.
It should be taken with food as it may upset the stomach.
Now...get busy and find all the MEDICAL abstracts on the benefits of Pycnogenol. Watch for the mention of cAMP...cyclic adenosine phosphate! Watch for the words, collagen, elastase...
Sorry...another $ supplement, but perhaps the best all-around (exception: CoQ10)..IMO!
Posted by JimBoB (Member # 8454) on :
quote:Originally posted by Blackstone: I think this effects people differently. I'm a young man of 23, and though I've been sick since about 16 or so I've always had a high sex drive. What suffers however, is performance.
I'm sure that with treatment you'll feel more amorous. In conjunction with your treatment, you may want to ask your doctors about libido boosting supplements and drugs. Many high quality herbs can make a difference for people. Also, if your testosterone is too low (Yes, women have testosterone too, though nowhere near as much as a man.), it can be remedied, which will definitely help the situation.
Don't be afraid to ask for help from medical professionals. Your sexual health is important
Yohimbine should help you with performance. And/or an appliance. I found ways. I am 66 now, and it all is getting weaker, but not totally gone, and I have been on Yohimbine and an appliance I developed since 1994 and it works good. Most of the time.
Jim. Posted by tailz (Member # 10014) on :
cave - Let me tell you from the viewpoint of a WOman...
...it isn't all about lubrication and estrogen.
Male-dominated medical science seems to think if you just lube us up appropriately and give us some estrogen, we're ready to go and satisfied. Boom. Bang.
Hate to break it to you but women need 'male' hormones, nerve conduction, and blood flow every bit as much as you burly guys do. In fact, if we have all four of these, I doubt you burly men would be able to keep up with any of us.
On that note, my hormones were pretty messed up initially following the removal of my uterus and left ovary. Now I believe my hormones are better (estrogen anyway), lubrication is fine, but I think I have a blood flow or maybe even nerve conduction problem from vasculitis.
Also, I was on testosterone at one point due to low free testosterone, and I can vouch that testosterone is the hormone of DESIRE, so I wouldn't doubt I am not as high up there as I once was, though this has improved somewhat.
Now if male-dominated science would turn off the electromagnetic chaos they invented that is making these bugs attack (primarily) females since they too were designed to reproduce, maybe human females would be in the mood as much as their spirochetes seem to be.
I'm not joking either. The reason more women have Lyme and coinfections is because they enjoy infecting hosts that are conducive to their only purpose in life - reproduction.
But to make the assumption that lubrication and estrogen is all that is needed to eliminate a woman's pain is just dead wrong. Sorry.
Muscles down there need to expand and contract - blood flow is also important - just like it is for you burly guys. And with low testosterone, compromised blood flow, and messed up nerve conduction, none of this is going to happen.
In fact, I think I read that testosterone is vascular-protective for women, even more so than estrogen, but all male-dominated science was concerned with when they hurled me into menopause at 41 was my bones - not my (female) boner.
Women get those, too, by the way;)
Posted by tailz (Member # 10014) on :
I thought about that after I posted it. lol Oops. Well, you SOUND like the men I know.
Actually, I'm still not sure. Maybe it's my Lyme.
Posted by tailz (Member # 10014) on :
You're a guy, right, cave? You need to tell me so I know whether I must be leery of you.
Posted by Skyler (Member # 11549) on :
well, if the problem is with pain, its not much a loss of libeto(hormonal lack of desire) and more a physical problem that needs to be addressed.
I have found, as with my obgyn, they tend to not know anything about lyme, even more so than your normal doctor. They still might be able to help you with these problems. They also might be able to test yourr hormones to see if any of these problems are related to hormones and then you can explore options with that.
I know this can be very hard to deal with. You want to be there for your partner and feel as though you are letting them down when you cant. Do not stress out about this. It can be dealt with and things can get better. Hang in there babe. You are not alone, and with todays medicine, there are many options out there for you to try.
Posted by tailz (Member # 10014) on :
cave - hmmm, I wonder why I thought you were a guy? I must have men on my mind lately. lol
I found this though on AOL. It is true! Women need testosterone:
No drive, no desire, no energy! We're not newlyweds ...what about sexual transmission to the uninfected?
Posted by Munch (Member # 11323) on :
I'm having a horrible time trying to get my hormones balanced. I've still got many symptoms of hormone deficiencies in spite using B-HRT. I've tried pills, patches, creams, HGH shots, traditional and bioidentical HRT but nothing has achieved results.
My blood levels of all hormones are low but saliva and urine levels are sky high. Looks like I have some expensive urine. Dr Paul Cheney (CIFDS doctor) mentions this is common in a subset of some women with CF as they lose their hormone receptors.
I'm looking into pellet thearpy to give a continual steady dose of hormones. I have very high hopes that the pellets will be an answer for my low libido issues. I sure could use some new tiny little ovaries. There are pellets for men too with much higher levels of testosterone.
For some reason my pituitary is not sending or my organs are not receiving the signal to make hormones. I seem to have lost my dynamic hormone response to my thyroid and adrenals.
The consultation is $200 plus a $50 insertion fee and the cost of pellets is $30-$70 per pellet and I'd probably need two (one for estrogen and one for testosterone). $400 for the ability to enjoy sex again is a small price to pay.
I just had a growth hormone stim test on Monday and am waiting for the results. I'd like my cheapskate insurance company to pay for growth hormone (only $285 per month) so I did their required test. They are supposed to pay for pellet insertion but probably won't.
My LLMD suggested using pellet therapy. He's just getting set up for this because some patients have not had success using other delivery methods of replacement therapy.
I'd still have to cycle progesterone, take compounded T3 (thyroid), hydrocortisone and DHEA. Has anyone here tried pellets?
This is an old (as old as Premarin) and well-documented method of bioidentical hormone replacement that utilizes small pellets about the size of a grain of rice that are painlessly inserted under the skin (the procedure is less painful than having your blood drawn). We've found the easiest and best place to insert them is under the skin of the lateral buttocks.
The hormones in the pellets are bioidentical (exact molecular match of human hormone) and consist of either estradiol, the most important of the three female human estrogens, and testosterone. Some women are surprised to hear that they might need testosterone replacement as well as estrogen replacement. Perimenopausal women and post-menopausal women usually need some of both. Testosterone levels are usually around 5-10% that of a man. Testosterone helps with a number of issues including libido, mood stabilization, brain function, and bone density.
Pellets are synthesized from soybeans. They are either pure estradiol or pure testosterone. Other than a small amount of stearic acid as is common in pharmaceuticals, there are no other ingredients in them. They dissolve completely with no residual under the skin over a 3-6 month period. Even though they are made from soybeans, it's very unlikely that soy sensitive individuals would have a problem tolerating them.
The pellets are manufactured by special compounding pharmacies in the Midwest. The ingredients (estradiol or testosterone) are U.S.P. pharmaceutical grade, and our primary source states, "In our state-of-the-art Class 100 clean room, we compound sterile custom tailored prescription medications utilizing strict aseptic techniques. Our pharmacy staff has specialized training ensuring that each preparation is formulated with the strictest standards for sterility, according to Missouri State Pharmacy Board and ASHP/USP (American Society of Health-System Pharmacists/U.S. Pharmacopeia) guidelines."
Pellet therapy is used to defeat the symptoms of menopause and perimenopause. Suzanne Somers has authored two very informative books, "The Sexy Years" and "Ageless," where she describes the symptoms of menopause as the Seven Dwarfs of Menopause - Itchy, *****y, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and All Dried Up. These symptoms respond extremely well to subcutaneous bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.
Inserting these little pellets into the body is sort of like inserting tiny new ovaries, because they do what the ovaries used to do - slowly release hormones into the bloodstream in a manner similar to how the ovaries did.
Many women have tried various kinds of hormone replacement therapy (HRT), and have simply been dissatisfied with the way they have felt. Others have worried about reports of increased breast cancer or heart attacks. But because bioidentical subcutaneous hormone replacement is so different from conventional HRT, it is unlikely that negative data on conventional HRT even applies to pellet therapy. Many patients don't do well on any other form of HRT except subdermal bioidentical pellet therapy.
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
uh, excuse me? cavey is a female??? whoa, all along i thought she was a he!!!
oh man, i need to rethink this..........
whoa.......
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
This is so funny! Cavey, I've known you were female.
Posted by Grady (Member # 12875) on :
I heard that 80% of Lyme victims are women. Is this true?
Posted by Blackstone (Member # 9453) on :
quote:Originally posted by Grady: I heard that 80% of Lyme victims are women. Is this true?
I highly doubt this. However, I believe that it is more likely that women report their symptoms and are diagnosed correctly. We men tend to be stubborn and not go to the doctor unless a limb is hanging off, overall.
Posted by JimBoB (Member # 8454) on :
quote:Originally posted by cave76: ***** blood flow is also important - just like it is for you burly guys.*****
Thank you for your input. I'll remember that, next sex change.
****Muscles down there need to expand and contract*****
Still too much information.
JUST for you Cave, just for you. ###
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