I know that decrease in libido can be a symptom of lyme and co, and I'm wondering if anyone else out there has experienced it, and if they are in a relationship, how have they kept things going?
And yes, it's sad but true, I have indeed lost that lovin feelin. Thought at first that it was due to experiencing the 'joys' of childbirth, but it has lingered way to long.
And even though lab corp and even igenix say no lyme, my cd57 is loooww (27) plus an unholy triumverate of coinfections (pos for 2 strains of bart and myco), all say that sumpthin's goin on.
To bad it isn't a good sorta sumpthin.
Thanks. kp
ps, for those who had lyme for a long long time prior to dx, did you test positive or get a clinical dx, and did you have little sxs here and there throughout the years, then at some point, something kicked it up a notch, and that's when you were able to add it all up?
Just wondering, as I suspect that I have had this brew of ills for at least 15 years (time of only known tick bite) or possibly since I was a kid.
Thanks. kp
Posted by sutherngrl (Member # 16270) on :
Yes that lovin feeling is..... gone, gone, gone,
Seriously it is really gone. I feel sorry for my hubby!
Posted by Lymeorsomething (Member # 16359) on :
I've been living like a monk for the last couple of years Libido dropped from a high cliff...so much so that I may have to add supportive hormones soon before someone saints me...
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
"and did you have little sxs here and there throughout the years, then at some point, something kicked it up a notch, and that's when you were able to add it all up? "
yes-i tested neg a long time on elisas...but my first igenex test was very pos and i went on to become pcr pos as well-dx w/ lyme, babs and erlic at first...at first was dx with RA, fibro and anx/depression and got no lyme tx
i do believe i had it a long time with subtle symptoms and then it blew up after having 2 babies in 2 yrs, car accident and being in very endemic area
the research seems to show a small % of ppl get hyper sexual with lyme and many get lower libido
also pain can be a turnoff...and fatigue etc
good luck. i don't know how to fix it. maybe someone else does.
Posted by sutherngrl (Member # 16270) on :
Mine started with a flu like illness, which then morphed into all the other stuff. Mine started pretty instantly, but I never saw the tick, so I was misdiagnosed for 2 years before discovering that it was LD.
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
Try just being open to it. Something about getting going jump starts the libido a bit. Just tell your spouse you will need some extra time to get the feeling. Also, sex can help with pain, most likely due to the seratonin released.
Posted by lymeparfait (Member # 14268) on :
This is me too! It all happened after the birth of my two children, when my symptoms all came out. I
never seem to think at all about getting affectionate or anything...and I love my husband
very much and he is trying to be good about it all, but I"m the one that doesn't want to be
bothered! Does this ever get better with treatment? I"m doing the bionic soon, and was
hoping this area would improve...as it's supposed to balance hormone levels too. Any thoughts?
lymeparfait
Posted by disturbedme (Member # 12346) on :
Yep, my sex drive has been pretty much gone for a few years now.
On my good days, I'll have some sex drive again, but most of the time - nope, none whatsoever. I don't understand how anyone with such a horrid illness can think of having sex at all.
It's awful when you're newly wed and you get sick with lyme and have barely had sex for the two years you've been married. Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
i think sixgoofykids is right on
i remember when i counted it as one of my pain relievers...
Posted by Liz D (Member # 16739) on :
mine is long gone too. My skin itches and burns so I dont like being touched. My muscles and jounts hurt so I dont like being touched. I am cranky and depressed so dont like being touched. My husband is wondering where on earth his loving fun wife went to. IT SUCKS and I HATE IT
Posted by mtree (Member # 14305) on :
Kp
You brave soul for bringing up the ``s'' word.....
....it takes effort...I think... ...especially when you are in constant pain....
Like six said it can be a great pain reliever.....
Physical intimacy is important......in a relationship..... Feeling like a sick person all of the time doesn't make you feel very desirable though.....
Communication..... its a biggy.....if you can ....talk with your spouse... If it's difficult to talk about....write each other....
....I know for us when the kids were little....and still now sometimes... ..getting away for a night can help.....
Even relationships that don't have any sickness involved have difficulties with sex. If sex was good before sickness you can get it back again......
Your meds could have a lot to do with it too....maybe something can be switched....?
I think if there isn't a problem due to meds then effort is huge..... ....making the effort to have sex seems crazy when your in this horrible illness....but it really is worth the effort........
mtree
Posted by zombie_mummy (Member # 17402) on :
quote:Originally posted by sutherngrl: Yes that lovin feeling is..... gone, gone, gone,
Seriously it is really gone. I feel sorry for my hubby!
DITTO. Posted by Starfall1969 (Member # 17353) on :
Oh yeah, it's gone for me too.
Just the thought of sex anymore is like, "do I haaave to?"
My hubby insisted I get in to have my hormone levels tested--that test is in a couple weeks. He said to tell the doctor he wants his wife back.
quote: Try just being open to it. Something about getting going jump starts the libido a bit.
THat doesn't even work for me. I let him start, and it just doesn't heat up. Sometimes I almost get there, and then the spark just dies.
And my hubby isn't one who likes the quickies; he always wants to drag it out. Most women would love a man with a slow hand (since we're doing songs here, lol), but I just want him to get it over with.
*sigh* I hope for the sake of our marriage that something can be done.
As for the sx, the main blow up of sxs came about 7 months ago, but looking back, I guess there were little weird unexplained things here and there that now may be significant.
Like 4 years ago I had a large rash on one knee (not a bullseye though) that just came on out of the blue.
The doc said it was eczema, prescribed a cream, and that was that. Now 4 years later, I'm wondering if it was significant.
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
did a good quick search found at top...found 47 posts about this; but couldn't find the RECENT, most detailed post i'd ever read before.
type in NO LIBIDO medical text any date leave membership blank; hit enter, and read all posts/replies.
most recent on top. Posted by Paula 007 (Member # 8002) on :
Yeah, what IS sex?
Luckily (or so it seems), my DH now has Lyme also.
So we cuddle a lot and talk about it, but neither of us has the energy required to actually DO it.
I just hope we go into remission at the same time, 'cuz it used to be really great!!!
Posted by lymemommy (Member # 12495) on :
Thanks all, for letting me know that I'm not alone in, well, wanting to be left alone (kinda sort of).
As some others had mentioned, my husband has also beel in tx for lyme, but he's been feeling better, plus with my big weight lose over the summer(due to gall bladder problems), it's like he found a new toy and wants to play with it.
I, unfortunately, didn't fare so well on abx. Sx's cleared up nice and quick, but then my tummy promptly went bad. Now the sx's are back, but the doc wants to steer clear of abx as my body seems unable to tolerate them.
I do hope that this gets better!! I vaguely remember being a frisky little devil, but it seems like it was in a different lifetime!!
Take care all, kp
Posted by jmb (Member # 18338) on :
while i do not like to treat the symptom in most cases, i do it in this one. cialis works.
Posted by sutherngrl (Member # 16270) on :
Starfire, you are a genius with the song lyrics. My hubby has a "slow hand" too and before lyme that was awesome. Now I just don't have the stamina to drag it out.
Posted by Lymeorsomething (Member # 16359) on :
Hormonal issues may bounce back with abx alone or may not. At least one LLMD I've talked to adds in supportive hormones if necessary, including the sex hormones and even GH(expensive) at times.
Even Dr. B suggests that one may be able to wean themselves off hormones slowly if infections are suppressed effectively.
For men, HCG may be a better alternative than straight T as it encourages the body's own production of T and does not shut down the testes.
Posted by nyjohn (Member # 15361) on :
there are a couple of things that can help bring it back some-
siberian ginseng: it can provide energy that your body needs, not like caffeine, but different. use it for a while. your overall energy levels very well could rise.
spices- eat foods with curry mixes in it
fresh veggie and fruit juices
exercise- gets everything flowing again. makes you feel "normalized" even if just for a while. that "normalization" can remove you from your funk if you let it.
i noticed that things came back for me when i changed my attitude about how sick i am. yes, i am still sick. but i am still here. i guess it's a form of positive thinking, but in it i include my fiancee and how lucky i am to have her around in my life. and my life with her is in the forefront instead of lyme. when i remember that defines my life, instead of my illness, things feel better including my libido.
Posted by treepatrol (Member # 4117) on :
Its happened to me and Iam a guy?
Posted by steveandamyb (Member # 18522) on :
From the husbands point of view...
You may have seen my posts but if not, my wife has LD and I've been doing the reading/research for her. We've been married 14 years.
I've noticed a drop in this area too for her. I love her SOOO much and hate to see her in pain and discomfort.
Sex for us is (was) more than a quickie fix. It was actually an expression of love and adoration...well, most of the time.
She now will often feel the same is others who have posted a reply here. "I'm fine to just do it for you."
I have read that it can be spread through sexual contact. Has this been proven? I seem to read a lot of posts that say the husband and wife are infected. It this a coincedence or evidence?
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
I've lost that lovin' feeling....
But my husband hasn't.
We both have Lyme.
I work at trying to be intimate.
Some days better than others.
Of course now my monthly friend is coming about every 2-3 weeks.
Now that is a damper.
As I feel better, I am more interested.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posted by lymeinhell (Member # 4622) on :
Blame the Beta Blockers
Posted by zombie_mummy (Member # 17402) on :
Not only do I feel asexual, I look asexual too. That has gone a long way towards me losin' that lovin' feelin'.
I used to be 'hot' and now I'm 'NOT'. People used to tell me that I looked like Bettie Page (RIP). These days, I look more like an escapee from a concentration camp.
I feel very unattractive and sickly-looking. I've lost a lot of weight in the past year. My husband is very loving and caring towards me but I FEEL DEAD INSIDE.
Posted by Peedie (Member # 15355) on :
Hi Lymemommy: "ps, for those who had lyme for a long long time prior to dx, did you test positive or get a clinical dx, and did you have little sxs here and there throughout the years,
then at some point, something kicked it up a notch, and that's when you were able to add it all up?"
YES - it was a major surgery that "kicked it up a notch", the trauma and long healing time I'm guessing.
Yes....Sex is so seldom lately. I'm willing to try anything. Thought about going to get accupuncture to unblock my "CHI" or try herbs.
Like STARFALL - my husband makes it last - especially if it has been a long wait - for him it's a monumental moment.
So I think I should have a heart-to-heart with him about pain and fatigue. I'm going to ask him if he can get by with "quickies" and see if we can get back to 1-2 times a week.
After all, our partner (w/o Lyme) has no idea the effort involved for a Lyme person to do a marathon!
I miss that intimate time together so much! STEVE: I'm proud of you! How wonderful it is that you are so involved in getting your wife healthy again!!!!!
To answer your question. My LLMD says without hesitation - YES. My husband has been wearing a condom. The non-latex ones are not so bad.
It's just something ya gotta do dude. Because if you get it - what a mess - both sick with Lyme and it is soooo much harder for you to get well if you pass reinfection back and forth.
We did another thread on this subject - you can search it. It just can not be purely coincidental.
Proof - will likely come from shared information regarding observation of patients. With the present "climate of fear" between LLMDs in all states (except CA and RI) from repercusions for treating Lyme - we are far from "proof". IMO
I hope we can all figure this out and have more "bliss" in our lives real soon. -p
Posted by Nebula2005 (Member # 8244) on :
I feel asexual, too.
It's just not there, and I don't care. Isn't that awful?
Perhaps because sexual contact hurts, and I don't know why. I think it's another nervous system issue. Or part of the brain damage from having this for so long.
I don't give a hoot about listening to music any more either. And it's not only because my hearing is so hypersensitive. It confuses my brain to have to process words and music together.
Part of this, I think is that I can no longer tolerate alcoholic beverages. Life is just not as much fun as it used to be.
Pain is a spiritual killer, that's for sure.
I'm 57 years old and I've been married for over 30 years. My husband has been tolerant and understanding, but I know it hurts him to have lost intimacy like this.
I'm just so grateful when I have a fairly normal day, adding sex into it is actually stressful. I've been treated for Lyme and Bart, and am moving on to Babs treatment when I work up my courage.
Did I also mention that I've become a coward? LOL.
Posted by nyjohn (Member # 15361) on :
hey zombie
i would not worry about how you think your husband thinks--i am sure he still thinks you are mighty fine-
your weight will come back as you start to heal up. it did for me, it just took some lyme treatments + more food. eat avacados and tree nuts and things like that. i went from skeleton to svelt.
i think that most of us with significant others are in the state where that other person still has the same urges but are also putting things on hold while we are sick. that doesn't mean they think we are not attractive anymore. it's that they understand we don't feel well- hence the change in libido from both sides- no one wants to cause his/her other half to feel worse than they are feeling already.
Posted by Lymeorsomething (Member # 16359) on :
Peedie, absolutely. I had mono two years ago and that's when all hell broke loose. All the smoldering issues came to the foreground fast. Prior to that I was as fit as a fiddle...
Posted by Peedie (Member # 15355) on :
Oh....I know - hiking, tennis nearly everyday, riding the horses, and work was easy!!! Then that door slams shut. The misery of a tick bite sets in. Those were the good old days huh.
NYJOHN: Thanks for offering that our husbands probably are still attracted to us Lyme women. Still...I'm not feeling at all sexy with my bloodshot eyes.
-p
Posted by janis1023 (Member # 15942) on :
Count me in. Not only do I have no interest, but as mentioned in previous posts, I have gained a lot of weight, have edema, and my abdomen looks like a watermelon is full grown in there....
I don't even know how to do it under these conditions, and feeling grotesque instead of desireable seals the deal.
i told my husband to forget about intercourse until the swelling goes down.
It has been a long time and we are still waiting.
Posted by gwb (Member # 7273) on :
Well, it's not just you women. I'm a guy and I pretty much got 'nuttin honey'. My wife has Lyme so we both are in the same boat. Lyme sucks.
Posted by Lymeorsomething (Member # 16359) on :
True. Libido is affected in both men and women. For men, testosterone levels may plunge. Generally, the pituitary seems to get flaky and the LH and FSH signals get weaker at times...
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
what i was told by a bigwig llmd was that the research shows men might give it to women but less chance women will give it to men...but study was only done on borellia...who knows about all the other stuff.
remember ticks are the size of a period...so two people could easily be infected without knowing it...from the tick i mean. easy for a tick that size to move from head of hair to another in the bed...who would know???
and as far as unmarried or out of relationship people...to me it doesn't make sense to worry about getting or giving it...cuz there are sooooo many out there with it and don't have a clue they have it.
Posted by mandy614 (Member # 16524) on :
For women, it is testosterone levels as well? I have some testosterone cream my old doc prescribed for me when I told him I have no libido. However, my testosterone levels were fine. It was progesterone that was a problem.
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Libido dropped from a high cliff...so much so that I may have to add supportive hormones soon before someone saints me...
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..getting away for a night can help.....![[Wink]](wink.gif)
mtree
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