I was just wondering how everyone does it. I'm scared out of my wits. I've been sick a long time with little improvement and I really need to get better. I have so much responsibility and I can barely function. The anxiety from this is out of control. I am in a constant state of panic. How do you all deal?
Posted by opus2828 (Member # 15407) on :
I deal with fear by doing the things I can do to help myself.
I've had a lot of low points where I thought I would never get better. Still do as I am starting babesia treatment and am wondering if I will be able to tolerate the meds.
There is always something you can do to help yourself relax.
Maybe talking to friend, watching TV, reading a book.
Are you taking any meds for your anxiety? I have found that I can control mine without meds but some people need them.
Being in a constant state of panic will not help you heal so you do need to find something that can help calm your anxiety.
Do you have an LLMD? How long have your been in treatment?
Do you have co-infections as well as lyme? Bartonella can cause severe anxiety.
Posted by Sarah182 (Member # 15774) on :
Hi opus,
I tested neg for coinfections but am treating them anyway.
I've been in treatment with an LLMD for over a year and treating bart for almost that entire time so I would think that if the anxiety is from bart it would have let up by now.
I think it's directly related to my situation.
I am on meds for the anxiety but it really doesn't help much.
I wish there was something I could do to relieve it but nothing seems to work.
Could bartonella still be making my anxiety worse even after all these months of treatment?
Posted by lakes592 (Member # 18905) on :
I try and give it to god and take one day at a time. Below are some quotes that have helped me:
This day is all I have to work with, and it is all I need. If I am tempted to worry about tomorrow's concerns, I will gently bring my mind back to today.
Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something for me to learn.
Today I will recognize that worries can be potent and mind altering. I choose not to indulge in them at all.
" I am not afraid of the storms for I am learning how to sail my ship." Louisa May Alcott
Posted by Sarah182 (Member # 15774) on :
Thanks lakes592!
That's beautiful! I'll use that too.
Posted by liesandmorelies (Member # 15323) on :
Sarah,
I know how you feel. I have been so frightened(especially prior to being diagnosed).
I think now, each day I wake up I tell myself that today is a new day and I go with whatever it dishes up to me, knowing that tomorrow may be better or worse, but not thinking about it.
There was a time when I literally thought I was dying and then one day I woke up and said all people are dying. Every day we live we are closer to our death, but I will not sit and think about it, as we have no control over how, when and why.
Each day that I arise I am happy that I awoke and as each passing day has gone by that I have awoken, it has given me the strength to know that I am probably not going to die anytime soon from this horrible disease. I am far more likely to die in a car crash or picking up my mail.
When I put it into perspective, it really helps.
God bless you
Posted by wtl (Member # 19883) on :
Sarah,
Fear is not all that a bad thing. It is actually a gift we human have in sensing what's wrong with our environment and situation. One needs to learn to respect and appreciate that feeling.
Regardless if it is related to Lyme or co-infections, I think it is worth a while to look around and see if anything can be improved other than Lyme treatment which you have already been doing.
I know it is easier say than done.
Posted by opus2828 (Member # 15407) on :
I believe that bartonella could be causing it. Treatment may not be enough or complete. What treatments have you done for it?
Also, keep in mind that some meds can actually cause anxiety.
What meds are you currently taking?
Posted by Sarah182 (Member # 15774) on :
I am on zith, mepron, and rifampin. I've been on this combo for months.
I take ativan for the anxiety, as needed, which is a lot these days.
It seems like some people are able to deal with it all so calmly, but my fear goes into overdrive and it makes me wonder how much of my symptoms are from lyme and how much are from this intense anxiety.
How frustrating!
Posted by WildCondor (Member # 434) on :
Fear is normal and expected. Just remember you will be okay, trust me, Once you realize you won't die, you'll be fine. You can do this, it's just scary at first! Channel that fear into determination, and don't let it win!
Posted by Sarah182 (Member # 15774) on :
Thank you everyone! I'm really not afraid of dying..I'm really afraid of living the rest of my life like this.
I don't know how I'd do it.
I'm fighting it as best I can!! I believe I can beat this demon...hope I'm not wrong.
Posted by opus2828 (Member # 15407) on :
I know the feeling of living the rest of your life like this. But, you have to have hope because so many people have become better or at least are improving.
Have you tried levaquin for the bartonella?
If you've taken a combo for months (like at least 6 months) and are not feeling any better, it may be time to try something different.
I know someone that was helped by rifampin but levaquin really knocked it out.
But since I'm not a doc, this is not medical advice, just another possibility for you to discuss with your LLMD.
Posted by pryorka (Member # 13649) on :
I agree with Sarah182. The scary part is being stuck like this. I used to pray for death, but I've made some progress now so if I died it would feel like wasted progress. But dieing definitely wouldn't be the worst thing in our situation.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
I find myself running and screaming in a field with my arms flaying.....
(But, it is in my mind as I no longer can I run and scream and flay my arms)
Posted by btmb03 (Member # 18394) on :
That's what it is - remembering that if there are even fleeting "good" moments - there will be more in the future.
If it happened once it can happen again. Our bodies CAN heal.
And..I also remind myself that I am more than just a "shell" of bones/ligaments/tendons, - we all have a past of accomplishments to reflect on.
We are also somebody's spouse/partner/friend/neighbour albeit sometimes we feel very alone in this illness.
Not necessarily religious or spiritual, just positive. Just know we all understand.
Posted by just jan (Member # 16285) on :
Sarah, I have been more frightened lately than ever before and I have been dealing with this DD for 15 years. I work on my faith every day, even if I can just believe in my pups and nothing else... that's enough for today. This is a strange and powerful ride we are all on. I myself would like to get off this particular ride anyway. I have to believe there is meaning in all this suffering. I hope you find at least one thing in your day to bring you some relief. Blessings, Just Jan