Bast-ards!
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
LMAO, they should, they certainly steal all our nutrition!!!
HCL, have you read about HCL?
Posted by canefan17 (Member # 22149) on :
Ya, a little bit.
Posted by chaps (Member # 25286) on :
Do parasites get heartburn?
If they eat my wife's cooking they do!
I tell ya, my wife is such a lousy cook, in my house we pray AFTER we eat.
My wife's such a bad cook, the flies chipped in and fixed the hole in the screen.
My wife made alphabet soup, the kids spelled out HELP!
I leave dental floss in the kitchen, the roaches hang themselves.
The food in my house is fit for a king. Here King, here King.
I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.
My wife asked me to take out the garbage, I said "you cooked it, you take it out."
I mean, since when does toast have bones?
[ 12-09-2010, 08:39 AM: Message edited by: chaps ]
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
hehehe, chaps!
Let's hope so, cane!
Posted by Tammy N. (Member # 26835) on :
Chaps - that was funny! We all need a good laugh sometimes:)
Six - what is HCL???
Posted by canefan17 (Member # 22149) on :
lol chaps
That's a keeper list
Posted by chaps (Member # 25286) on :
I think she's talking about hydro chloric acid, the stuff that one of your organs (pancreas?) makes and sends to your stomach to digest food.
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
Yes, HCL, hydrochloric acid. Many of us are too alkaline and have heartburn from the alkalinity, but typically you only hear about people who have heartburn from too much acid.
Posted by MichaelTampa (Member # 24868) on :
six,
Count me among that list of too alkaline. Know any good ideas for what to do about that? I'm hoping this will get fixed with lyme treatment, but who knows...
Posted by chaps (Member # 25286) on :
By the way, for the record, my wife is the GREATEST cook in the world. She's amazing.
I was just joking around, taking the opportunity to pay homage to my favorite comedian and give this place some comic relief for a change. We're all so serious all the time, we need to laugh regularly if we want to get better. I sure miss ol' Rodney Dangerfield.
Well I'm alright now, but the other day I was in rough shape, you know?
I asked my LLMD, Dr. Vinny Boom-Batz "what do I do about this brain fog? I can't remember ANYTHING any more."
He said, "look at the bright side. This spring, you'll be able to hide your own Easter eggs."
Hey, good crowd, good crowd, alright. You gotta great laugh, baby, I'll tell ya that. We'll work it out, OK?
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
quote:Originally posted by MichaelTampa: six,
Count me among that list of too alkaline. Know any good ideas for what to do about that? I'm hoping this will get fixed with lyme treatment, but who knows...
For overall alkalinity, I don't know. I take HCL for digestion.
Posted by canefan17 (Member # 22149) on :
Keep em comin chaps
I've already been spoutin this one all day - "I tell ya, my wife is such a lousy cook, in my house we pray AFTER we eat."
Posted by Braveheart (Member # 29618) on :
This is one of the best threads that I've read in a long time!!!
Posted by chaps (Member # 25286) on :
Aaww, you don't know the half of it; you kiddin'?
The other night, my wife gave me some chocolate mousse for dessert. I ended up getting an antler stuck in my throat.
Last week I bought her a pressure cooker. Now I eat off of the ceiling.
My wife's cooking is putting color in my face. ---Purple.
I'll tell ya, my wife, she can dish it out, but she can't cook it.
Then, there's my daughter, she's no bargain, either. And she's not too smart, you know. I asked her to make me some french toast, she got her tongue stuck in the toaster!
My doctor, Dr. Vinny Boom-Batz told me my stomach was too alkaline. I said "a visit with my mother-in-law oughta clear that up in a hurry."
The doc told me to stick out my tongue and say "aaaah." so I did. Then he said "now go in front of the window and do that." I said "why, is the light better over there?" He said, "no, I just wanna get back at my neighbor."
Alright, good crowd, you've been great.
Posted by Geet3721 (Member # 15751) on :
HAHAHAHA good ones Chaps We all do need to keep laughing !!!!
Posted by jennie46 (Member # 20953) on :
Don't know how I missed this one! LOL!
Thanks, Chaps...I needed a laugh!
Posted by wifegotlyme (Member # 27578) on :
Thanks chaps. Had a good laugh...
Posted by Remember to Smile (Member # 25481) on :
quote:Originally posted by chaps: My wife's such a bad cook, the flies chipped in and fixed the hole in the screen.
LOL! Thanks, chaps! That brought me back to scary summer camp where they served "bug juice!"
Now flies in my neighborhood don't earn enough to chip in for anything... Posted by chaps (Member # 25286) on :
I tell ya, my doctor's a wise guy.
This morning I called him up and said "hey Doc, I get up in the morning, I feel lousy, when I look in the mirror, I want to throw up, what's wrong with me?"
He said "I don't know, but your eyesight is PERFECT!"
What a doctor I've got, you kiddin'? One time I called him up and I said "hey Doc, I just swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills, what do I do?"
He said "have a few drinks and get some rest!"
Then I called the suicide hotline, they tried to talk me INTO it!
Then my wife, she's a beauty, she signed me up for a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
I'll tell you what, this Lyme disease drives me nuts. It's causing low adrenal function, low thyroid, low testosterone. Oh, the low testosterone, ain' that a beauty? I'm gettin' to the point where I'm envious of a STIFF WIND!
My wife had a mirror put in over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself LAUGH!
I'll tell ya, I want two girls at once. In case I fall asleep they've got each other to talk to.
I tell ya, no respect, that's the story of my life I don't get any respect from anybody!
My father never loved me, he carried around a picture of the kid that came with the wallet.
I can't get any respect no matter where I go. Yesterday I took a walk on the beach. I held a seashell up to my ear, it told me to GET OFF THE BEACH!
I went to McDonald's they told me I didn't DESERVE a break!
(For you young kids out there, McDonalds' slogan used to be "you deserve a break today.")
Alright, you've been great, OK? I'm out.
Posted by Remember to Smile (Member # 25481) on :
chaps, you're hurtin' my cheekbones! I'm not supposed to get this much exercise!
You posted: Then my wife, she's a beauty, she signed me up for a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
and
My father never loved me, he carried around a picture of the kid that came with the wallet.
LOL! Posted by norcal (Member # 29829) on :
This should be in support,very supportive.Thanks for the laugh!
Posted by chaps (Member # 25286) on :
![[lol]](graemlins/lol.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[spinning smile]](graemlins/spinsmile.gif)