It is so easy for me to tell if I am herxing when I first start a med, but sometimes this plays tricks on you and I am really going crazy here. This is not me. I need help now.
I am on zith/cef and started cipro in September, when off from Nov to around the first or second week of Dec. Felt like I was herxing over xmas break, but also had had the flu and a cortisone shot.
Last week I felt so amazing. (I also started salt/c for a week but have since stopped since I need to figure out what is going on) Anyway I am a consultant to school systems, and had some pretty intense meetings last week, but I felt bright sharp and energetic.
But all has crashed and I feel very very down on myself/depressed/anxious/angry. I just wish my body would decide a way to feel so I could learn how to "be". Every day is a new adventure in hell, with some bright spots. But you can never trust the bright spots, because as of now they have not lasted more than a few days.
I am so impatient and filled with self hatred. I am still also dealing with this shoulder issue which seems to be improving. My PT told me yesterday that I "need to move it". I HAVE been doing every exercise they give me and I never ever stopped using my arm for fear of frozen shoulder (which I ended up with anyway).
Help. I just need some encouragement. I wish I didn't have to ask for it. And my DH keeps piling things on in the family department that I keep telling him I can't handle. He doesn't get it.
I just need help. Where do I turn for a little relief?
Thanks (hoping its a herx and will pass but living like this just sucks).
Posted by FamilyFive (Member # 37206) on :
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been there and it's awful.
Have you thought about going to a therapist? I went to one during my most difficult anxiety/panic and it helped tremendously. I'm also on Lexapro. If you're suffering through negative feelings/thoughts I highly recommend talking to your LLMD about it.
It's certainly not an instant cure, but behavioral therapy plus an anti-anxiety or anti-depressant could really help. I also have a busy family/work life and it's very difficult to handle the onslaught when we're emotionally off-kilter, no matter what the cause.
I understand these could be herx's, but the reality is the feelings are still there and need to be dealt with.
Just know you will get through this. But you HAVE to look out for yourself and get the help you need.
Posted by pme (Member # 31621) on :
Thanks!
I am getting really really angry. Again..not like me at all.
Yesterday, a friend said that they signed up for their first half marathon, I feel instantly po'd (not at them, and I can pretend and react the way I should). But inside I am boiling because that should be me. I should have options too.
Same thing with anyone who is experiencing success, has energy, is able to work out, is able to be normal. I am so so so angry.
I want to feel success instead of constant failure.....
Right now I am watching Rachel Ray...and they are discussing how to motivate yourself and how to work out. IF ONLY I COULD. I am so trapped. Even Rachel Ray is ticking me off right now (I am normally described as "sweet", but I don't think that fits) What is going on??????????????
Also my lower right abdomen hurts.
In addition to flu, my daughter had strep with vomitting (which I had to clean from the car and house...tmi sorry) last Thursday and Friday. I don't know if I am fighting it or not.
I think if you are fighting an illness you feel it more in your spleen.
I just want to scream and run.
Posted by munchin (Member # 38744) on :
Right now I can't stand the sight or sound of anyone around me. I am kind to others but I just can't stand myself. This too shall pass .
Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
Increase your dosage of magnesium and of fish oil. Which kinds are you taking now?
Acetyl l-carnitine and alpha lipoic acid are helpful for liver support, and can help your mood. Read the reviews on this one:
Have you ever tried an SSRI, an antidepressant? This would help to normalize the Serotonin in your brain, and reduce the negative thinking, self hatred, anger, impatience.
You would need to be evaluated before you start something like this, because if you're bipolar they'd give you a different class of meds.
For your shoulder, look into getting a SOTA Magnetic Pulser.
Posted by Kudzuslipper (Member # 31915) on :
Pme. I so totally understand your post. Whether a herx or the disease the crashes after good periods are the worst. They are so discouraging. Whether they are physical or emotional... If they come after a period where you felt good and sharp and enrgized... They really bring you down.
The fact that you have good periods is good. They get longer and fewer bad times in between.
The last time I had a period like that my llmd suggested I try Cymbalta. It has helped me immensely... Both with emotions and pain and energy. I am on a tiny dose.
Good luck... It does get better.
Posted by heatherene56 (Member # 39857) on :
Put down the bat and stop pounding on yourself. i don't want to sound like a preacher here but this is sheer torture that is all too familiar to me. I do know that depression is the symptom for all people struggling with ongoing chronic conditions. I was on an antidepressant for several years and they do help.
It is all about quality of life here!!!! I really try to choose on a daily basis to focus on what I still have rather than what is not there any more, which is a lot of things. It is difficult to surrender and accept our lives just as they are. I am not talking about giving up, I'm talking about adjusting expectations to fit with reality. I used to run 5 days a week and was one of those people who no one could understand how I did so much with my life.
It is a huge adjustment to adapt to new limitations. I think we all have days where we feel extremely discouraged. Those are the days we just get through. Being hard on yourself just makes you feel worse. Take a nice bath or listen to some nice music. Let go of the expectations for a couple of hours. They aren't going anywhere.
I used to be a total neat nick. Now I have learned to enjoy watching the dust bunnies grow on the baseboards. i have seriously dropped my expectations for the sake of sanity.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
One day I make a plan for a specific date, next i keep the date but not in the Frame of mind I made the plan. I'm told keep goin, I hate the uncertainty minute by minute brings. I used to be organized, planner, now that's all changed, the worst is it's not in your personality to be this way. It is now, not much choice but go with it. It'll change, I've seen it change on days, but it's not consistent. One minute at a time. Feel better.
Posted by pme (Member # 31621) on :
Yes. Making plans is the worst. I don't trust myself anymore. It is such an uncomfortable way to live. It's like blowi g in the wind instead of being firmly grounded. I have no sense of self. People keep saying that I need to believe in myself. But ere isn't self to believe in
I really felt as thou I was getting better recently. I have also had one cold after another and the kids have been sick for months.
I can't run my business and I don't know how to plan for the future of my career if things stay like this
Thanks for understanding
Posted by phyl6648 (Member # 28522) on :
PME, I don't have any answers but totally understand.. as I feel the same way... hugs