posted
Ok so I just need to vent (since I can't drink..lol) but my aunt has just pulled her last straw today!
Long history not worth getting into too much detail. She is a selfish person and I have always just let things roll if it bothered me when it came to her.
But since I found out what was wrong with me, my kids and my mom she hasn't said anything at all. Many family members have done that to us.
So her history with my mom (her sister) isn't so great either. They never got along and it's a long story! She always thought my mom was faking being sick her whole life.
Recently I heard that she said something to someone behind my back about my being so wrapped up in this Lyme stuff that I don't pay attention to my older daughter.
So that got me pretty mad but I didn't say anything.
Well today we had our interview with the news. So my mom and I sent out text messages to let people know it would be on tonight. This was my aunts reply to my mom, "I hope you didn't mention my name or my kids names!" So my mom says, "no and thanks for the support".
So that really got me mad! I decided to text her too (texting is the greatest..lol).
So I ask her if she was serious and why would we mention their names? Then said that she acts like she doesn't care and that if she ever got sick I wouldn't be there for her. (pay back...I know it's wrong but she isn't there for us)
So then she tells me in so many words that I am faking it and that I have allowed myself to get sucked into my mom's "world". (cause you know she has always thought my mom was faking it and a hypochondriac)
So I pretty much told her that she has no clue! And why would I just sit here all day on the couch too fatigued to get up or arthritis too bad to walk? Why would I just do that? Why would I let my real estate career go and fake this?
She clearly doesn't know me at all!! I told her I didn't have the energy to care anymore.
I will probably never talk to her again. But I had to stick up for myself. So I don't feel bad at all.
Oh wait, I do feel bad for her. I feel bad that she is that way. It must be a sad, lonely life to be so rude and selfish.
Karma is all I have to say!
-------------------- My lyme disease blog: http://lymetimes3.blogspot.com/ One BIG Lyme family! I tested CDC + 10/08 My mom Igenex + 11/08 & My brother Igenex + 4/09, My 2 boys some + & IND bands, clinical diagnosis 3/09 (youngest has Aspergers too) Posts: 470 | From Painesville, Ohio | Registered: Mar 2009
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Take a deep breath.
We all have at least one of those in our families.
Know that you can close the door on that relationship.
You don't have to "do the dance" as it were with her.
Think of how much of your precious energy she managed
To take from you today. Your Mom's too.
You can still love her and not let her have any power in your life.
I've done it with many family members.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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Starfall1969
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 17353
posted
So sorry you had to go through that with someone who should are about you.
But like Geneal said, there's at least one in every family, and the sooner you learn to just close the door on any unnecessary contact with them, the better.
I know how it's frustrating to have people think you're just faking your illness.
I decided to stop seeing a counselor I started seeing before I got diagnosed.
He never said I wasn't truly sick, but all our sessions seemed to be wrapped up in trrying to figure out what may be causing a psychosomatic illness.
I should have gone back after I was diagnosed, but I just didn't feel like wasting any more energy on it.
So I hope you can find some peace now.
Blessings.
Posts: 1682 | From Dillsburg, PA | Registered: Sep 2008
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
amy
i know exactly what you are going thru! all about HER/KIDS!!
get away from this poisonous, negative person; way too many in your life.
surround yourself with POSITIVE, SUPPORTIVE FOLKS ONLY~
GLAD YOU SOUNDED OFF; got it out of your system instead i wished i'd done this or that! shaking head/fist.
geneal had wonderful tips for you...
i've had 3 non-supportive brothers that do NOT even comment about me/my health problems.
3 yrs. ago xmas my 1 brother asked me to give him a list of everything WRONG with me!~!
after going to 2 cemetaries today for my beloved family members, i stopped at their home, and they were home. i've done this 2-3 times at most in 8 years since dad's death.
they invited me in and even to eat a late lunch with them and we talked 2 hrs.
get this, "betty, how are you feeling now"!!! i think i had him repeat it since i knew i hadn't heard right!!
so i updated him briefly; 1st support i've ever seen or heard from him directly.
posted
You know I have had people tell my husband that they received my email updates but didn't know what to say to me.
So I say why can't they just say that? "Hey I got your email and don't know what to say"
I guess it's just easier to say nothing or ignore things and hope they go away.
Unfortunately for me they DON'T go away! When people do this they make me feel like they don't care.
I called my cousin out on this same thing. She said pretty much the same that she didn't know what to say.
I just feel like this is the "wimpy" way out. I mean you can say something small.
Most of my family say nothing to me. Even my own dad. It's to the point that I dread going to any family functions at all!!
I think one day I will just tell them all how I feel. Maybe it will help for some of them?
Thanks for your support! If we all didn't have each other most of us would be lost!!
(HUGS) Amy
-------------------- My lyme disease blog: http://lymetimes3.blogspot.com/ One BIG Lyme family! I tested CDC + 10/08 My mom Igenex + 11/08 & My brother Igenex + 4/09, My 2 boys some + & IND bands, clinical diagnosis 3/09 (youngest has Aspergers too) Posts: 470 | From Painesville, Ohio | Registered: Mar 2009
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AliG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9734
posted
The film "Under Our Skin" comes to mind. Perhaps she might "get a clue" if she were to watch the DVD or attend one of the showings.
Then again she might not. In which case, just be thankful that SHE'S not your mother. There are many people with this disease that live in the same house with people incapable of understanding.
It's so hard to deal with a disease that people believe it's OK to just dismiss because we don't really "LOOK" sick. We live in a society where "seeing is believing" and you can't "SEE" pain, brain fog, unfathomable fatigue.....
So many DOCTORS just can't seem to comprehend what we are feeling and they're "trained professionals".
I pray that some day she'll understand how wrong she is and just how awful she's been treating you.
hugs & prayers, Ali
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
Amy - I live in this country about a half of my life now and, through my wife's illness in the past four years, I have come to realize that we are living in a nation of selfishness. "Me first, nobody second". It sucks.
But then you have us...
Posts: 822 | From midwest | Registered: Apr 2009
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toby67
Unregistered
posted
Amy, my aunt has Lyme and doesn't know it - she sees a ton of holistic people for her 40 symptoms of fibro and chronic fatigue, but she's constantly complaining and whining, never upbeat or positive.
I told her flat out about my diagnosis and how our family all has her symptoms too, so she should get a lyme test!!!
she laughed at me and said "that's a convenient diagnosis for you, but I'm really sick and can't be bothered with your silly little tick stories" -- so condensending i about puked.
so i haven't spoken with her in over a year, and good riddens... family or not, i avoid her like the plague
posted
I'm so sorry for all of you with non-supportive, negative families!
I feel very blessed with mine. After thinking I had MS for 11 years, they are all on the Lyme bandwagon now and are constantly telling me to not push myself (which I do), and take care of me first. My folks have even offered to help with the part of the medical bills my insurance won't cover. They don't quite get the fatigue, etc., or really understand the disease, but I send them emails with good info.
If only I could get my mother to believe that she could have it too! She's been ill (arthritis, IBS, bad joints, dizzy, tremors on top of worsening cognitive issues) for years and is just chalks it up to being 73.
I believe that she probably has late-stage neuro-lyme, like I do, probably a systemic yeast infection, gluten-intolerance and other food allergies. But in her mind, I'm the one who's sick, and she doesn't have it, and won't get it, even though they live in northern MN on a lake every summer at the same place where I got it!!!! Makes me crazy....
-------------------- dx: MS in 1998 2007 - Lyme suspected 2009 - Positive Lyme, MS worse. Now: Copaxone shots for MS gall bladder out 7/09 Ceftin, Zith, Septra LDN Acyclovir Monolaurin, DHEA, Pregnonelon, Curcumin Posts: 243 | From New Mexico | Registered: Feb 2007
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
Hi Amy!
Vent away. It helps. Alot of us are in the same boat as you.
What I do is not engage in any conversation that's meaningful and I pretty much avoid my family.
They haven't been there for me during most of my treatment. I lived alone for about 3 years and really struggled with the picc-line and working part-time etc.
Most people were shocked to learn that I had family about 20 miles away because they came over a few times in 3 years.
I know for me the fact that I went through most of the hell of illness and treatment alone made me take a real hard realistic look at those closest to me.
I had to completely drop any expectations of support or help and I try everyday to do something nurturing for myself.
A present from me to me.
Take one day at a time and be your number one fan and advocate.
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6209 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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In which case, just be thankful that SHE'S not your mother. There are many people with this disease that live in the same house with people incapable of understanding.![[shake]](graemlins/shake.gif)
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