I have taken the wonderful advice of Dr C and ya'll here and have "clean up and shipped out" the things in my life that have overloaded me.

In the pass week I have been acussed of being depressed, physco, and other words I can't type here.

The biggest change has been to my family (sisters). I am the youngest but act the oldest and have spoiled them terribly. They are the unhappiest with the new changes.

I told them what was going on with me and the kids and told them from now on they can look up there own phone numbers (somethings 3 to 4 times a day), run their own errands, research their own work on the net and do their own shopping. (None of them are incapable of doing this themselves, it was just easier for me to do)

I did give up a few things at school although I just took on helping direct the Christmas play, but this brings me enjoy and is relaxing to me.

My boss is willing to work with me and let me get off an hour earlier so I can make it to the Chiropractor without having to rush.
She has been totally awesome, I wish everyone could have a boss like mine.

With this new schedule after the Chiropractor 3x a week, we (all my kids) go to the park and they play while I walk the track.

I am determined to lose weight, I have the new weight watchers plan and Dr. C said it was good as long as I stay away from sugar.

So this week has been the start of my "new" life as my husband put it. Things have been going good, so far no problems with abx for me or Dominic.

Thanks for all the Support and Ideas in taking care of myself.

Whenever I feel stressed I think of those oxygen mask falling on the plane and think of my kids and what was said it the other post about having to take care of yourself or you are no good to your kids.

You guys are the greatest, I don't know what I would do without ya'll.

I just hope someday I can help ya'll as much as ya'll have help me.

I am so happy for you and I can tell you feel better, don't you?

You have taken a great step in "getting your life back". I can not wait for mine to return to "normal". But, these times are just making us stronger people and we will emerge from this experience and shine!

So glad your meds are going well...keep us posted, OK?

Congratulations! Some people don't take advice well....You took it and ran with it!

These were all very difficult decisions, I know. Keep up the good work!!

One thing I have learned is that having Lyme disease gives a great deal of empathy & understanding of other people's problems.
It also teaches the importance of priorities & persistence!!

Starr, you're already helping people - you're an inspiration to all of us, you share info so willingly and you express your concern to others.
That's what LymeNet's all about!!

Like everyone else here, I'm incredibly proud of you! Yay!!

Your post has got me thinking about caretaking roles and how they interfere with our own ability to be there for ourselves.

It is astonishing how many of the lymies here are selfless, generous and caring in the midst of their own suffering.

I think women and chronically ill people might be more suseptible because:

a) being sick, they are naturally empathetic to other's pain and

b) focusing outside themselves helps them to forget some of their own frustrating challenges and

c) training, training, training!

Not necessarily a bad thing, in minor doses.

I'll bet most of the people on this board can relate to your situation. "Caretaking" can be like a disease itself!

Stepping out of the caretaking role is unbelieveably difficult and will not go unchallenged.

Think about it, you've had years to hone your skills and everyone else's expectations!

Now that you've changed the rules so that you can focus on being there for yourself, former beneficiaries are not going to like it.

Its the old, "change back!" syndrome.

Calling you "crazy" is such a typical manuever!

The former people you took care of may retreat temporarily, but don't be surprised when they come back to test the "old Starr".

My prediction (being the "caretaker" so often myself) is that you can expect any of the following attempts to entice you resume your former role:

(BTW, most of this stuff happens without anybody being "conscious" of what they are up to)

1) someone else in the family is going to have a "CRISIS"

2) former recipients will band together, isolating you from the "group" so you give in to be included

3)your diagnosis and treatment will become suspect and a topic of debate

4) your parenting and partnering responsibilities will be questioned by other family members

5)ultimately, you will be dismissed as "not caring" and "selfish"

6)Also, don't underestimate your own desire to be there for everyone else creep back in when you least suspect it.

I'm so glad you have a boss that is on the lookout for you. She is the kind of person you need in your corner.

I'm also so glad you are posting here and hope you ask for lots of extra help so you don't feel you ever have to go it alone.

All the best to you my dear Starr on your journey into the uncharted territory of being there for Starr!

You're a complete sweetie and am sending you and Dominic big cozy hugs.

love,
andie & jc

BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!!

Your chosing to change those things in your life and your ability to admit it and actually DOING it has brought tears to my eyes!

I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

I feel great admiration for you and the courage you have demonstrated to change the things you can!

I believe that your example will bring courage and help to many others who find themselves in similar situations!

I just saw this post and it has made my day!

Hugs to you and your family (and your boss- she sounds like a very sensible and compassionate person.)!

Love and Blessings,
Maggie