randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
ya'll know i don't always have it easy at home, but money causes problems doesn't it?
i've always done the bill paying, balancing, etc. well lately he's decided that we don't have enough and questions everything. when i had to transfer some money to pay off my car, boy did it start.
he asked so many questions, where does it go, how come we aren't doing better, i thought you paid this, why are you doing this?
i get so nervous i almost get sick. i get diahhrea and start shaking. then i try to explain and it comes out wrong and he just keeps on and on.
he's fine with everything else as long as it goes his way but when the first of the month comes, i dread it cause i have to do the checkbook.
so i stood up and said, you ask so many questions, it's time for you to do, that way you'll see where the money goes and not have to ask me.
i just couldn't take this confrontation anymore.
also i think i may have about 15-20 grand coming from my mom that i didn't know about, so i'm putting it in an account with my name only. maybe selfish but it's called self-preservation.
oh, i'm sorry, i'm griping but i have my appt with the new doc today and i'm a nervous wreck. i'm making myself sick over this...
plus having to drive that way all by myself, i get nervous cause i don't know where in the sam hill i'm going. yep, got directions, but i'm still scared.
man, this is not a good day. i hate to get upset and i try to calm down but it doesn't help.
i can't stand to have money questions come up, but i think i did the right thing, don't you?
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Absolutely!!!!
Years ago my husband would give me his check
Which was always about 1000.00 under what we needed to get by.
Then he'd attack me over why didn't this get paid, that get paid, etc?
Mind you he didn't have a problem spending any of it.
I had to buy diapers. Thank God I was nursing or else that would have cost more money.
I finally had enough too. Handed him all the bills and his check and told him to "make it work".
Then I gave him the grocery list for a week.
Never complained again.
Hope you have a great doctor visit.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
Yeah, I keep the checkbook too. Hubby sometimes asks about why there isn't enough money, etc.
I'd hand him the whole thing, but I don't think he could manage it!!
Yes, he's smart .. smarter than me in many ways... but it would take him awhile to figure out how to juggle it like I do.
I'm the master of making it work!!
Anyway, I'm thinking about training him and at least getting him more involved. He doesn't have a clue about how nip and tuck it is sometimes.
We're driving to TX soon and I have no idea how we'll pay the bills when we get back. Gas is going to take all our money. But not visiting our loved ones is not an option we want to consider right now.
Randi.. Hang in there. Maybe after giving your husband a month or two of that, you can take it back and he'll leave you alone.
Your appointment is going to go just fine!! I'm sure of it!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96227 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
I had the same problem with my hubby. I'd been doing the books/bills since we got married and he would ALWAYS complain that we never had money.
He would tell me that when we first got together we were better off financially than now. Nevermind that was pre-kids, we lived in a dump, had one old car, NO furniture, etc.
But we could afford to eat out more often, was always his thing... Nooo, we HAD to eat out more often because there was no FURNITURE and nothing to cook with! LOL
Anyway, he took over last summer.
Now he's the one saying "we really can't afford that". lol
Plus, I don't have the stress of him on my case every time he picks up the checkbook to go buy himself a new play-pretty.
Chris
Posts: 155 | From Texas | Registered: Oct 2007
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