posted                      

quote:

---

Originally posted by Anissahope4healing:
Hi everyone.

I am feeling extra beat up and extremely anxious lately. So much of it has to do with my nightmare in-laws, and I am REALLY trying to not let it get to me and give it to The Lord.

But my awful SIL keeps insinuating to people that I am "dragging" my son to "all" of these doctors, and she texted my husband, saying "You need to schedule a 'solo' appointment with your son and without your wife (meaning me!).

And my husband is not talking or seeing her, but he did respond in a text and confronted her on her false allegations. He said that he has actually been to all the doctors appointments and he had to take our son by himself when I was too sick.

MIL and SIL are spreading rumors in our community. People who know us know the truth and know how much I love our boys. But at this point I feel we don't owe her an explanation about anything. We are having absolutely no contact with her.

My oldest son went from loving school, being so happy, to having anxiety and panic attacks when we pulled up to school.

He would say how his eyes hurt from the light, or the light,sun is too bright, and he would get these massive painful headaches where he was grabbing his head.

Thank God we know what we are dealing with now, and we have a ways to go, but we will keep fighting this horrible disease and it's co infections.

She then sent my husband, who is in his mid-forties, she calls him her "Baby Brother", she sent him a birthday card and put an old picture of his cat from 20 years ago, and had a few childhood hood pictures of them as "brother and sister".

My husband lost his job this past May, so we unfortunately cannot move. A part of me feels that we need to speak to other people and share the truth, but I don't know how to handle that.

The Pastor at their church is very nice, and he knows the truth and told my husband to focus on getting a job, taking care of your Bride, and boys. So, that is what he, we are trying to do but it is so stressful. She is the type who would try to call family services or something just to be mean.

So I have all this anxiety, my son is on Azithromycin and Malarone right now for Babesia Duncani, and he has been having emotional herxs. It is hard to see him going through this.

I am in treatment doing my infusions, trying to be an involved Mommy, even if it means my sweet boys climb in bed with me and we tell stories, play, etc.

I try to make it to the living room as much as I can and I always do prayers and read a book or tell stories before bed. I think on only one or two occasions when I was Herxing badly and fell asleep, they just let Mommy rest-but I really try to do what I can.

I feel like I have to defend myself-and I know (thankfully) that I don't with you all, but to "the world". My youngest has his birthday this Friday and I am just now getting the invitations out.

I sent an email a couple weeks ago letting parents know and checking their availability. But I am late getting an actual "invitation" out. He will hand them out in class tomorrow. Both of my sweet boys attend a homeschool tutoring co-op for part of the day.

And I completely forgot to order my son's favorite chocolate cake, with fudge- so, I hope the bakery can do it by this Friday. My son wants an Angry Bird's Birthday cake. .

But I thank God I had energy today to help with homework, get the boys in the bath (with Epsom salt and hydrogen peroxide) and then rinse, and dressed in their Jammie's for bed. My husband has been out looking for work.

Well, this has been a long post. I am wishing I could be who I was "before Lyme" and handle everything, multi-task, do more activities with the boys, etc. This past year they have seen Mommy not able to get out of bed very much, until recently..

I would have moments of being able to get up, but then would have to turn the lights out, pull the curtains, no noise, just be still and deal with the pain and my brain not working.

Hopefully I am turning a corner. Another thing that has been hurtful and disappointing is my so called "friends" have abandoned me. They know I have Lyme and don't say a word about it. No phone calls, email, nothing.

Every year for the past 5 years we would go on a trip to Florida with our kids. This is the first year no one called me. I sent them birthday gifts earlier in the year and have heard nothing.
It does make me feel very sad and disappointed.

On the bright side, I have a couple wonderful neighbors who have been very supportive. One in particular will bake things or make dinner for us sometimes.

And I have our pets with their flea and tick protection. Dogs, a big cat, a couple parakeets and a little frog. They as many of you know have that unconditional love. They love me no matter how I look, how much weight I gained, being sick- they just love me.

If you all have made it through this long post I am sorry it got so long. I am just feeling lonely, missing friendships, and wanting to be a better me, and praying that my in-laws would just leave us alone and stop being so vindictive and hateful.

Thanks for listening. I know it's not healthy but I am going to eat a piece of BBQ chicken pizza. If you ever lived out West, California Pizza Kitchen makes those, and they have a delicious salad and corn tortilla soup. Anyways, off to enjoy about 300 or more calories.

My best wishes to all of you! Thank you to Lymenet.

---

Posts: 167 | From Southeast Tennessee/Chattanooga/Atlanta | Registered: Oct 2012  |  IP: Logged |