Leaving Work Early
Three women who work in the same office notice that their female boss has started leaving work early every day, so one day they decide that after she leaves, they'll take off early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so how is she to know?
The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.
The redhead is elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she goes upstairs she hears noises coming from her bedroom. She quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closes the door and creeps out of her house.
The next day the brunette and redhead talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to leave early also, she exclaims,
"NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!"
Thanks, Bev, for the chuckles!!!!
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if your wife is yelling at the front door to be let in and your dog is barking at the back door to be let in who do you let in first? the dog at least he'll shut up when you let him in.
ha??
sent (I almost hate to sign it)
Sent...another ending to the joke: tell the DOG to fetch the wife. ahem...the BLONDE wife...
Peace, love and wellness
JRW
I was waiting for JR to ask that question!
Great joke, Bev.
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oops!
Lymetutu
Peace, love and hellfire...
James Blonde
I like the joke Sent, my hubby would like it even better!
Tabby and Lymetoo I'm glad you got a laugh. I sure needed one..
JR, I'm strawberry blonde, so a little blonde and a little red...hehe Good to see you.
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oops!
Lymetutu
Peace, love and wellness
JRW
Ps... I was always jealous of your beautiful hair....
Love ya
Lisi
)The Blond wins one
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive,
double-pane. energy-efficient kind.
But this week, I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work
had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them.
Boy oh boy, did we go around! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.
So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year . . that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up and I haven't heard back. Guess I won that stupid argument.
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lisi: lisianthus is one of my favorite flowers! i am so impressed at how long it stays good in a vase, and will even open
I heard that Lisi....now you'll be calling me Blonde Beverly..LOL 
A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded.
"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex.
JUST HAD TO PUT ONE UP MYSELF
SENT
> > The $5000 loan.
> >
> >� >> A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan
> > officer.
> > > >>
> > > >> She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs
to
> > > >> borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind
of
> > > >> security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new
> > Rolls� Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she
> has
> > the title and everything� checks out.
> > > >>
> > > >> The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The
> > bank's
> > > >> president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Blonde for
> > using
> > > >> a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
> > > >>
> > > >> An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the
> > bank's� underground garage and parks it there.
> > > >>
> > > >> Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the
> > interest,� which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are
> very
> > happy to� have had your business, and this transaction has worked out
very
> > nicely,� but we are a little puzzled.
> > > >>
> > > >> While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
> > multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow
> > $5,000?"
> > > >>
> > > >> The blonde replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my
car
> > for� two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
> > > >>
> >� > >> Finally, a smart blonde joke.
The $5000 loan.
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs
to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new
Rolls� Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything� checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's� underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,� which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to� have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,� but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blonde replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for� two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Finally, a smart blonde joke.
''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' she cried.
''Honey," her husband said, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!'
Haw ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA!
[This message has been edited by Biting Back (edited 14 January 2005).]