LymeNet Flash: Bad day.... and things were improving...

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Posted by smiles (Member # 5635) on :

I feel like I've been making such an improvement! And BAM! I had to leave work early today - I felt drunk.

I kept tripping over my feet, bumping into things, the ground felt like it was moving under my feet. People said I looked tired today. I haven't slept soundly for the past few days.

This all started with the low grade fevers last Friday. At this moment, I am tearful - for no reason.

Anxiety - bring it on - I missed an appointment yesterday with PT - swore it was today and when I called to cancel they said it was yesterday. They gave me no problem, but being the lyme-anxiety-brain I am and sooo upset about missing that appointment.

I can't wait to be BACK TO NORMAL!!!!! Then I have to say - that I'm tired and I think that makes it all worse.

I'm afraid, though, that if I go to sleep now that I'll wake up in the middle of the night and cycle again.

So I'm just watching mindless TV (which at least that doesn't make me nervous like it was doing). And now I'm feeling guilty for leaving work - like I'm letting the team down.

However, the 'powers that be' all say that I need to take care of myself and know that I will make up hours that I miss....

Sorry to vent - just completely frustrated and sad today. Well, at least I'm not irratible (which I've been for the past few days) - as I told a co-worker this morning

"Well, today I'm too tired to be irritable".

I feel like I need to disguise how I'm feeling - people are going to start to think I'm making it up. I know I'm quickly losing patience with myself....

I know it will get better - but days like today sure do put a stinger on that thought.

Posted by HaplyCarlessdave (Member # 413) on :

First of all, don't be sorry to "vent"!
Thats what this section is for, isn't it?
One thing I found that helped- as soon as you get howme, lie down and relax for an hour. Make sure to set an alarm, just in case you fall into too deep a sleep. I'd recommend listening to music over watchinh tv, for relaxation, by a huge margin! TV sems to be the antithesis of "relaxation"- eveything tries to attack your attention (oops-put the wrong word in there, but on second thought, I'll leave it-- it seems kindof appropriate...)
Brahms' symphonies and some of his intermezzos for piano (op 117, for example) are good to listen to for relaxing and sleeping. So is almost anything by Bach. Do you have a cd burner? If so you could find all the most relaxing music you can find and put it all on a single cd with nothing else.
I have seen (and, lamentably, heard) various "relaxation" cd's, but I think Brahms or Bach is much more relaxing than these!! (the generic "relaxation tapes" seem to usually be so mindless-sounding that they are a little disturbing, to me, at least.)
I wonder if a certain mix of drugs might be contributing to yur anxiety. You aren't on metronidazole ('flagyl') by any chance?
Be sure you are geeting all the nutricional stuff you need. "B50" vitamins may well help- they did so for me. Gingko biloba- especially brands 'gingold' and 'gingkoba' eased anxiety for me, and seemed to help a number of lyme symptoms.
DaveS

[This message has been edited by HaplyCarlessdave (edited 14 July 2004).]

Posted by smiles (Member # 5635) on :

Thanks, DaveS,

You are so right about music - I am going out today to purchase some Brahm's.

So many of my CD's are too familiar that they don't 'keep my attention' long enough or they are no longer relaxing to me or they have their own set of memories that sometimes decrease relaxation (if that makes sense at all).

You are also right about tv - it doesn't seem relaxing to me either, but for some reason I love to reach for the remote....

I love the idea about setting the alarm for an hour. That way - if I do fall asleep, I won't suddenly wake up in the middle of the night wide awake.

I am taking a lot of supplements, including B-complex. Did not take Gingko - but do have it at work, will add it to the supplements.

I am also hoping that 'this too shall pass' and I'll get back to better days soon.

Thank you, again, for your ideas!
Smiles

oh - I forgot to say that I'm taking doxy only for meds, and have been on them for 3 months. In fact, I am just ending week 13 of treatment - perhaps this could be a four week cycle....

[This message has been edited by smiles (edited 15 July 2004).]

Posted by 3greatkids (Member # 3838) on :

Hey Smiles..Don't worry we all have these melt down days as I call them. I am sorta having one too. Woke up to a great day,health and especially weather wise and by 3 I was a blob.I forget I still live min. to min. with this Lyme and I have to just ease back ,forget other things and go mindless!Hope you feel better ,hang in there, better days ahead!!!

Mind, and body not working together yet.NO energy but lots of plans!!!

Posted by smiles (Member # 5635) on :

Thanks, 3greatkids!

I survived today, and actually had some good moments at work - still tired and fuzzy, though. Hope your day also improved!!!

Went to the library - got the CD's will be listening to them this evening to relax.

Posted by Melanie Reber (Member # 3707) on :

Good evening Smiles,

What you are describing is perfectly `normal' with this illness...
So, please don't beat yourself up over it, OK?

We ALL have our good, and our not so good days...it is to be expected.

Yes, the doxy certainly could have much to do with your lack of energy...it is one powerful med, and causes lethargy among many.

Also, the 4th week herx sounds like a strong possibility for you.

Just know that this is the illness, and not you or a reflection on your personality.
It WILL pass...it just takes so much time and especially patience...mostly with ourselves .

Hoping for better days for you very soon,
Melanie

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C O L O R A D O * S U P P O R T * S Y S T E M
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Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :

It is the weekend Smiles. Will you have it off?

Will you be able to rest? Do you want me to send you a hammock and a couple of trees your way so you can lie in it while you listen to Brahams?

It just sounds like your body and mind are telling you you need a rest to me.

Did you get to the library?

Need a person to feed you grapes while you are lying in that hammock? I'll send that too.

Posted by smiles (Member # 5635) on :

Melanie,

Thank you for your uplifting message. I hate to post 'bad days', but sometimes support from others who understand is sooo helpful.

I know it will get better, thank goodness the weekend is almost here!

Posted by smiles (Member # 5635) on :

kam -
we must have been posting at the same time

Sure, send on down that hammock with trees - and, of course any good looking male could feed me grapes ...one by one - lol

I only need to work for a couple hours tomorrow, otherwise will be, hopefully, sleeping in in the am.

Thank you, soooo much for a huge laugh and smile to start my day!