i really feel for u - i dont know how bad ur symptoms are but if they are anything like mine were and are now - its very hard to work and feel like urself. as far as ur marriage goes, it sounds like u have a decent relationship so u do need to sit down and talk and DONT let this disease come inbetween u - its done and doing enough harm already. i was married in 1996 and my husband left me in 1997 sick, broke and with a child to take care of. it was awful - but he was not supportive nor did he care at all about what i was going through - he was very selfish and i was told that he married me only to have a barbie on his arm - meanwhile his barbie doll was very sick with iv's in her arm etc. but he didnt care - he was awful to me and he finally left. that was almost 8 years ago and i am still suffering. but ur marriage does not sound like that - remember that the disease does take its toll on the care taker but if u both talk about it and try to work it out i think u should be ok. as far as ur trip - i have been sick again and out on disability since april but i had a prepaid 3 night getaway planned for my birthday over july 4th with 3 girlfriends and i was not sure if i was up to it - especially since they like to party and i dont do that anyway but i went. i love key west and i love my girlfriends and i went even though i felt kind of lousy. i had a bad day then two ok days. so i say go. it did me good to get away and be in a different place and soak up some sun. i didnt have the time i would have if i weren't sick but im glad i went anyway. and i had had a spinal tap a week before which was murder recovering from. so talk to ur husband - but i live in new jersey - i dont know where u live - but BE CAREFUL CAMPING - this disease has curbed my life a little bit but because its been so long and hard i dont go anywhere where i think i tick might be - NJ has plenty so just be careful. we are supposed to be #2 PA is #1 as far as lyme disease. so talk to ur husband and don't let it ruin what u have. remember - in sickness and in health. if he were sick u would do the dishes, etc. i know u feel guilty but this disease is no one's fault except for a lousy tiny creepy bug - if u feel like u can help him out do it but i know when ur sick and working - sleep is the next best thing when u can - do not let this disease get in the way of ur relationship. its done enough!
have a good time in NJ if u go BUT BE CAREFUL1

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Originally posted by slcd:
My husband keeps telling me he's with me no matter what, but I can't help but feeling this this disease is hurting my marriage. All I do is work and sleep, so we really never spend any time together. And he's always stressed out about me overdoing it. He thinks (albeit, probably correctly) that I'm too stubborn, and want to do too much. Like this weekend we're supposed to go drive up to NJ to go on a camping trip with my family. I've been looking forward to it for a year, and I don't want to give it up. Giving it up, to me, means I'm letting the disease rule my life too much . . . and I admit, I'm TOO STUBBORN to do that! He's afraid it's going to take too big of a toll on my health, though, but at the same time he doesn't want to tell me I can't go because he knows how much the trip means to me. So instead he just sits there worrying and being all quiet and not talking to me. We've NEVER not talked about things that are bothering us. Added to all this the fact that I feel guilty that he does most of the cooking and cleaning and stuff right now . . . Does anyone else ever feel like their relationships are suffering? He keeps telling me not to worry, everything is fine, but I'm a worrier!

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Lori
 

I worked and slept, He cleaned up the daily mess when he got home and took care of my kids. Reading how so many here have been dumped, I tried to make his life as easy as possible, kind of letting him run my house however he felt best. We seem to have come thru my TBI pretty well. THere were some rough spots this spring, then I realized HE was sick too. He was poositive for lyme and 2 co-infections. Now it's his turn to sleep and work.

Rest and take care of yourself. I gave up a lot, but did what was most important to me.

Rest and get well.

Mel
 

Try your best to strengthen the marriage. Spend quality time together and make sure you let him know how much you appreciate his support. Keep up the communication. Seems to me that you both have a good attitude about the situation and will grow from the experience.

I recommend you look at the bright side of things, and be thankful that you have a man by your side to hold on to tightly when needed!

GOOD LUCK!
 

But he waited til I sorted it all out and began treatment and then popped the question!

I push myself beyond my limits to continue working full-time, cleaning the house, doing all of the chores, and get to the gym for cardio 5 days a week. Sometimes, it wears me out and I spend 2 full days in bed afterwards. I know it drives him nuts when I do that.
But he works very long hours and I just don't think it's fair to ask him to cook, clean, etc.

We all have a bit of the Superwoman complex and I think it really inhibits our healing.
I just can't get over mine. :-(

Jessie
 

Some make it and some don't.

I think the ones that don't make it probably wouldn't make it anyway in real life day to day things for the statistics prove that.

I just got married less than a month ago and I have felt the same as you at times. We've been together for 8.5 years.

Stay around awhile and read about other's and that is what a support group is all about. When you hear others having problems and others offering solutions, then we all benefit from this.

Please, for those of us who have very bad vision due to our illness, Lyme Disease, hit that return key, TWICE, every now and a couple of sentences, called paragraphs.

That will give us some "white space" we need to be able to read a post, for the ones like yours above and especially lori's post after yours, that have no white space, makes my eyes water and difficult to read.

I almost scrolled on by (SOB) when I saw no white space. Maybe that it why you have gotten more responses on a post as important as this subject and needing support. Just a suggestion, not intending to be mean, just FYI. Thanks,

Rosemary