LymeNet Flash: You know you're a REDNECK

This is topic You know you're a REDNECK in forum General Support at LymeNet Flash.

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Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :

Ok...

I think they are funny...

And...

Dr. B said we should all laugh.. EVERY DAY!

You know you're staying in a redneck motel, when you call up the front desk to say you gotta leak in the sink, and the guy says, "Go ahead."

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Question: What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?

Answer: A northern fairy tale begins with, "Once upon a time. . . " A southern fairy tale begins with, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this . . . "

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Question: What does a West Virginian do when his truck breaks down?

Answer: He builds a house beside it.

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How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?

Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.

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Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "Bout what?"

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Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911.

The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street, and you pick her up there?"

Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :

Things Rednecks Will Never Say

I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

Duct tape won't fix that.

Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.

Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

We don't keep firearms in this house.

Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

You can't feed that to the dog.

I thought Graceland was tacky.

No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

Wrestling's fake.

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

We're vegetarians.

Do you think my gut is too big?

I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

Honey, we don't need another dog.

Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?

Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

Too many deer heads detract from the decor.

Spittin' is such a nasty habit.

I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

Checkmate.

She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

I don't have a favorite college team.

Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

You ALL.

Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.

Posted by MADDOG (Member # 18) on :

Yeah, but I don't let anybody else clean their ears with my pickup truck key. MADDOG

Posted by MADDOG (Member # 18) on :

But hey Tin! If your ears are a itching I will buy you your own key at the hardware store. Them there long skinny jap truck keys are the best.You can reach way back in ther and drag out them big clots of wax.Hey once the key gets coated you dont ever have the loc freeze up in the winter. MADDOG

Posted by lymemomtooo (Member # 5396) on :

Hey You Guys..You are making fun of some of my old boyfriends. Actually I decided to escape but they might have had some insight into our problem:
"Too many deer heads detract from the decor." Maybe they all have Lyme Disease!!Ha.

Posted by once bitten on :

hahahahahahahhahaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!!!! three hundred more t cells, to the front.

Posted by guiney (Member # 4550) on :

HEY!!!!!!!!!!!! My boyfriend IS a Redneck...Fer real!!!!!!!

Hey Tincup my new name is now "little g" heeheehaahaa

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Posted by lymemomtooo (Member # 5396) on :

yep, little g..Know the area well!!!
We have to learn to dine with the Queen or the others...Sometimes the others can be more fun.
I had to escape! Be careful so you stay above it.

[This message has been edited by lymemomtooo (edited 16 August 2004).]

Posted by lookin4answers (Member # 4974) on :

I doooo live in "REDNECK" country........

aahhmmmmm. I do think these are funny.

Posted by slcd (Member # 5708) on :

I grew up moving back and forth between NJ and GA. So I went to school K-5 in GA, 6-10 in NJ, and 11-12 in GA. (Same town in GA, so same friends.)

My favorite thing that a redneck ever said to me was when I moved back down here in high school. . .

"You're a damn Yankee! Ya know the difference between a Yankee and a damn Yankee? A damn Yankee won't go home!"

HEEHEE . . . They still haven't gotten rid of me! I went away again for about 4 years and then I came back again!