LymeNet Flash: Lost faith/direction

This is topic Lost faith/direction in forum General Support at LymeNet Flash.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://flash.lymenet.org/ubb/ultimatebb.php/topic/3/11070

Posted by ArtistDi (Member # 2297) on :

I quess I have come full circle. I just left
my pcp's office, and I don't know why I even
went. I came home with a script for an
anti-depressant because I have myoclonus,
seizures, Raynaud's, dry mouth etc. since
I crashed on antibiotics 2 years ago.

You know the story..."all the King's horses
and all the king's men couldn't put...
together again." That's me. I have tried
every remedy in alternative medicine and
have been evaluated by so many mainstream
doctors only to come up short and with
yet more symptoms. I have seen many llmds,
and if one can't take drugs, then nothing can
be done.

I doubt now that this is even the effects
of lyme, but more the overkill of drugs
in an already-weakened system. My pancreas
levels go up and down, and with all the reading that I did, I realized that the
drugs inflammed it and now I have to live
with it.

I never had seizures or headaches before
lyme treatment, but I have that and plenty
of heartache. I have lost my fight to battle any more. I just accept that nothing
can be done to settle my system down, I will
live with mcs until life is done. I have
acquired more and more symptoms since being
off antibiotics, and no more can be tolerated
by me.

I quess it almost feels like a relief to just
let it go and accept "whatever."

So, here I am once again, like before treatment with doctors telling me it is
"Stress," and I am causing my body to be
more reactive. Maybe it's true, and if a
shrink can "cure me," then bring 'em on.

[This message has been edited by ArtistDi (edited 08 October 2004).]

Posted by treepatrol (Member # 4117) on :

Please dont give up.
Praying for you

Posted by HaplyCarlessdave (Member # 413) on :

I don't really know anything about medical stuff, so I can't advise you specifically in any way. When I was having a cascade of "one thing after another", I just kept doing everything I could to rid my body of toxins.
Green tea, though it has a little caffein, seems to help- You can get it decaffeinated, too. There are many herbal detoxifying teas. Get organic if you can.
And lots of pure water- good spring water or filtered with a good filter, is important. The chlorine in regular tapwater wreaks chemical havoc in biological systems- that's, after all what they put it in there for! Keep in mind tour body is a biological system, too!
I took psyllium powder-- stir 1/2 tsp vigorously into 8 oz water and "choke it down" (its pretty rude tasting- kind of like fine sawdust but less flavorful yet...) I took that 30 minute or a little less before the pre-abx food. It also help control the abx-induced need to be very near a toilet at all times. And helped repair ...'celebrex' (poison, as is now surfacing) -induced inner intestinal sores, when taken in conjunction with yarrow tea, as well.
Another thing I am convinced helped with detoxification was the sauna, which I joined a "health club" to use (luckily they had a deal on new memberships at just the right time). For sauna to be effective one must drink lots and lots of good water, and shower well afterwards.
Be sure to keep up with the acidophilus, taken well away from the abx, too.
The abx themselves are a bit toxic (but more so for the keets than for you!), and the herxheimer effect releases even more toxins into your bloodstream. This might even be taken to be a reaction totally from the abx, when indeed it is not.
Gingko, precribed by my doc, helped me tremendously, too. As did grapefruitseed extract and olive leaf extract, but there again, there can be a bit of a herx-like effect.
There are probably other things, some of which I even did, that I'm forgetting about, but in any case, the key word here is "detox" I hope you feel better soon!
DaveS

[This message has been edited by HaplyCarlessdave (edited 08 October 2004).]

Posted by kitsicox (Member # 6307) on :

Dear Artist..
is myoclonus that awful annoying twitching of muscles? I think I have that too. It's much worse when I take Levaquin for my sinus infections. Not sure if it's the same thing??
Almost kicked my cat yest. My leg just jumped out. Last night could hardly sleep because of it. I was trying to lay still and after a lot of frustration I noticed a pattern: Uncontrollable twitch, followed by about 5-10 seconds of calm, then another twitch, etc.

Is that similar to yours?

Posted by ArtistDi (Member # 2297) on :

Thanks for the words, and the kindness. I
realize that nothing physical at this time
will help me, so I am working on the spiritual plane. One of the doctors wants me
to try acupuncture to settle my body down.

Kitsicox, the myoclonus is like what you
are talking about. When I lie down to sleep,
my body jerks--both small and large muscles.
It can be a twitching in my arm or leg, which
I actually see, or more violent movement.

This occurs more if I am very tired.

It is all a mess, and for the first time, I
realize I have to face up to this all--it is
out of my control and whatever fate/God has
decided, it will just be. I told my mom yesterday that I am tired of running around
from doctor to doctor. I can't run anymore,
and it is what it is. My body is truly not
the same.

Posted by lla2 (Member # 2364) on :

di, why don't you come see the dali llama's dr. , dr. dhonden in Ny with us in NOvember..? He can tell you exactly what is imbalanced in your body and it may take months to get it back in balance, but it's working for us..and we're jsut about off everything and feeling good again.
email me for the number to call to make an appt. it's worth it...he's written many books..eastern medicine..

it's worth a try..

Lisa

Posted by weeza3 (Member # 6071) on :

Dear Artisti,
Remember the old addage: "its always darkest before the dawn."
I do have faith that when we accept that we don't have control over many of life's afflictions.

Oftentimes submisson can be the first step in healing as we confess we are helpless and in need of help from a power greater source than ourselves.

I don't know your personal beliefs, but myself, I do know a loving, merciful God that cares about our every need. He loves you and wants you to have his perfect rest as He holds you close and comforts your pain & suffering.

It sounds like you need to let go and allow God to enter in and carry you from this point onward.
Invite Him in to your heart, He already knows all there is to know about you, your physical pain, years of wanting to feel better.

Its not a promise that healing will occur; only the Lord can accomplish that as nothing is too difficult for Him. Our illnesses are often allowed to lead us in the course of truth and faith, to seek and find the one true God, Jesus Christ.

You are very wise to pursue your spiritual healing. Continue to care for your body by doing everything you can to support your immune needs. Massage therapy has been excellent in helping the body to relax, improve circulation, relieve stress. All essential to healing.

Acupunture i hear is valuable as well. I shall pray for your strength to perservere at this difficult crossroad of your journey, spritiually and physically. Don't despair, there is Hope ahead!

Posted by bg2711 (Member # 1865) on :

Hi Diane,

Long time no talk to. I hope you find something that will work for you. I know you have struggled so hard with all of this.

I know you have a lot of trouble with meds and the MCS, but, did you ever try an antiviral med? The reason I ask is because I take acyclovire at an extremely low dose each day and I find that it helps keep a lot of my symptoms at bay.

I agree the spiritual issue is very powerful, but, you may want to try one more time with a med and see if this will help you in anyway. If you want to talk more, feel free to e-mail me.

Barb

Posted by arg82 (Member # 161) on :

Diane,

I'm so sorry you're having so much trouble. As others have said, don't give up hope completely yet. Even if you can't tolerate meds, you could try other alternative treatments and see if they help get things back in balance.

Have you tried accupuncture? Reiki? Craniosacral work? Homeopathy?

There are other things out there that could at least help you get your body in better working order.

I'll be thinking of you.

Peace and healing,
Annie

------------------
``The best way out is always through.'' -Robert Frost

Click to join Lyme_Camp

Click here to see my Lyme journal.

Lyme Out Retreat Information Webpage

Posted by Loribelle (Member # 6293) on :

please, re-read reply from dave...!!!

the liver is "the seat of well-being". when you are feeling so down please think about how much burden your liver is under with all the toxins caused by the Bb, ETC>>>.

i personally think that anti-depressants and other chemicals and drugs ADD to this burden...

the antibiotics kill friendly as well as bad bacteria, so definately use pro-biotics (acidophillus, etc), and stay off sugar as much as you can. rutin is a good suppliment to help feed the good bacteria, and cheap. i order it from swansons.

it takes a long time and PERSEVERANCE to get the intestinal flora balanced again after antibiotic therapy...

read the book 7 habbits of highly effective people... it is a good motivational help, I think. especially the part about being proactive! as a matter of fact i think i need to go to the library and ck it out again... (c; i am feeling a little 'out of balance' and in need of some motivation myself.

if you can find it, read the book FIT FOR LIFE by the Diamonds. i believe the 'diet' to be very 'liver-friendly'. basically, eat SIMPLY.

i hesitate to add this part, but enimas or colonics (i know, i know...... :cp )are of GREAT help to the body to get rid of toxins, especially helpful with depression or herxing!

you can LICK this thing, you WILL feel better!

consider yourself hugged... Loribelle

Posted by lymemomtooo (Member # 5396) on :

Di, good luck. I will keep you in my prayers..I do think some type of detox helps everyone..Becky is back on Welchol.

Have you considered co-infections or mold..I thought our house was clean until we did a test and Becky's room was the hottest room in the house..Mold can mimic lyme symptoms..And Mold and and Lyme are not good bedfellows..

Posted by Magdalena (Member # 6096) on :

Di,

Sounds very overwhelming and many of us relate in one way or another.

This is the kind of thing that causes me to want to reach out to you and at the same time not give you any "pat" answers and add to your frustration.

I want to encourage you to check out a site that discusses the law of attraction and the power of words. No, it is not another one of those "fix it" sites. I happened upon this one day when I was having a really bad day and it encouraged me and caused me to think.

Since then I have changed my focus from being one of a "victim" to Lyme to being one of moving into wholeness. Many of my symptoms are still there, but my attitude has greatly improved and the hopelessness has been sent packin'.
http://passagetopeace.com/Bluestar/Power.htm

Peace and Love,
Maggie

Posted by on :