These are actual notes from Doctors patient charts:

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year

2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared
completely

3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was very hot in bed last night

4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in
1993

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed

6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male. Mentally alert but forgetful

8. The patient refused an autopsy

9. The patient has no past history of suicides

10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital

11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the last 3 years

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant

14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like
to work her up

15. She is numb from her toes down

16. White in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home

17. The skin was moist and dry

18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches

19. Patient was alert and unresponsive

20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid

21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she
got a divorce

22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy

23. Both breasts are equal, reactive to light and accommodation

24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized

25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function

26. The patient was to have a bowel re-section. However, he took a job as
a lawyer instead

27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present

28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor

29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit
on the abdomen and I agree

30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall

31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

I love #31! That should explain it all!

JJ
 

Pick two of your favorites!
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oops!
Lymetutu

[This message has been edited by Lymetoo (edited 04 March 2005).]