hey everyone just a couple questions on how you personally have delt with relationships. All of my friends have been MORE than amazing-I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people around me. However, I am young and I haven't found that perfect (perfect in my opinion) guy. How am I supposed to have a relationship with someone-when I could potentially be giving them lyme. I mean you can only date for so long before the envitable happens. I have been asked out by so many guys (I'm not trying to brag) but i don't even want to start something bc I am afraid if it turns to more they will freak out. I mean they all know I have lyme disease-but they don't really understand the depth behind that.
My questions are: how do you deal with dating or do you just not date? How long should I wait to tell them in depth the seriousness of lyme? What are the chances of me giving them lyme? Will I ever really be cured-meaning I will not be able to pass it on to someone else? Can you share a personal experience you have had with this topic?
Thanks, Lindsay
Posted by SAK (Member # 7387) on :
I hear you. I'm in the same mess. I haven't found that guy yet, and I don't know if I have turned him down already because of this Lyme stuff! Youth is passing me by too and I can't do a thing about it...
I'm one of those that just don't date. I'm too scared. What to say, how to say it, when??? My understanding is that once you've got Lyme under control, there's not much chance of transmission. I've read that many go ahead and get pregnant during remission. Until then though, I guess condoms?
How long to wait to tell him details...I guess after you've built trust. That might take a while. I imagine he would be asking questions if/when he is really interested. He might even try finding out info by himself and asking you more about it after. That would be nice no?
I'm in rough shape. I have a hard time getting around without hanging onto someone's arm. Endurance is low too. So, it's obvious with me that I have a problem. How about you?
I don't even know how and when to tell a guy just the basics- that I have LD, do you? Posted by Kara Tyson (Member # 939) on :
I am single. You are correct to be thinking in advance. I am always honest about the possiblity of transmission and let the man make the decision regarding his concern. Very few men ask me out so it doesnt come up that often.
Posted by frenchie (Member # 7994) on :
I'm also having trouble dating. My biggest problem is I end up feeling so guilty. This disease is so traumatic for everyone near to me. I just don't want anyone else to go through it. However, I don't want to live this lonely life forever. I didn't really get to be a normal teenager so I would really like to enjoy my 20's. I'm so focused on getting healthy right now. Dating isn't one of my top priorities and I think that needs to change.
Posted by Caryn (Member # 366) on :
you are beautiful young creatures.
sadly. more of us have been exposed than realize.
so next step. how do go from here. not have sex anymore. not procreate anymore. what?
what?
mom and wife of chronic lymies
leapers of the 21st century
Posted by Caryn (Member # 366) on :
i most definnately need to avoid posting after taking sleeping meds.
my husband and i have been together since our 20's.
the fever with no explaination. what we both had before we met. what we all got hit with out visits to nantucket.
and when my sis needed my car to be her moving van on her college years in boston
Posted by sweet pea (Member # 6495) on :
That's a tough one. I was already with someone when I got sick. I think though, that if you do meet a guy, you should be up front with him -- maybe not immediately, but if it looks like you will start seeing each other on a regular basis. If he wants to continue the relationship after knowing you are sick, that could be a good test of whether or not he is a good guy.
You should also know that I (female) have been sick for over 15 months and my partner (male) is fine. I've read that female to male transmission is less likely than vice-versa. I'm not totally comfortable telling you that since I am not an expert on that subject, but I assume if I was going to get my partner sick that it would have happened already. Especially because he is always under a great deal of stress, which I believe would trigger Lyme. I think other people on Lymenet have posted medical reports on the possibility of transmission. Maybe you should read those before listening to me..... :-)
Posted by lyme_suz (Member # 7628) on :
Hi,
This is a difficult issue.
I have had lyme 5yrs, treated 6mos. My husband does not appear to have it. He does have a strong immune system.
What about encouraging a friend who is becoming much more to read about lyme. Scary idea.. but he could digest and come up with his own conviction.
I think about this stuff because my teenager has lyme...
If nothing else getting the facts out there will screen out the insincere and weak of heart. \ There is no need to rush into the physical relationship anyway. You want a relationship that will withstand the tests and trials of life.
The other girls around have all kinds of issues, maybe not lyme. We don't see that from the outside, but believe it. Everybody has something. I'm not trying to take away from your situation because we have lyme and I know it is baad.
But don't downplay the fact that you are worth a lot to God and that some guy should be so lucky to be your friend and treat you with consideration and respect.
Also, we are learning more all the time on how to treat Lyme. I am hopeful that things like this that are huge issues will not be so troublesome in the future.
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