Howdy!!!! IT HAD TO BE --------------------------------- DAN QUAIL !!!!!!!!!!
HE HE HE HE HE HE !!!!!!!!!!!!
MADDOG
Posted by cantgiveupyet (Member # 8165) on :
Thanks for the laugh Maddog That was a good one.
Posted by trails (Member # 1620) on :
nice to see ya! havent seen you here lately. Thanks for the laugh! Posted by 5dana8 (Member # 7935) on :
Mad dog That a riot! Thanks I needed a smile Posted by dontlikeliver (Member # 4749) on :
LOL that's funny!
Posted by Linda LD (Member # 6663) on :
Hi MADDOG!
Cheney shot some poor 78 year old man. The poor bas#$@& never had a chance--you can't "serpentine" too fast at that age!
Is Dan Quail that old--maybe it was Dan Quail!
Good to hear from you!
L
Posted by sofy (Member # 5721) on :
THE WRONG GUY!!!!!!!!
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
That was great Maddog. Did you come up with that one?
Pam
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
double post
Posted by hopeful123 (Member # 3244) on :
Posted by DR. Wiseass (Member # 6777) on :
Good to see you, Maddog, and thanks for the laugh!
I, too, have seen the humor in this situation (except I know it is NOT humorous for the shooter or the shootee..) but have had to really find some self-control as the politically incorrect joke material this situation brings....ah,...is just endless!
Notice I'm not sharing any of my 'material' with you here as I do not wish to be flogged by the many who would disapprove. (I already feel flogged.)
Hugs & Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
MADDOG,
Didnt you hear he shot a lawyer. NO bag limits on those. Course he is now charged with not having a lawyer stamp(Like a waterfowl stamp) affixed to his hunting license.
Geesh, now they are calling for his resignation because of a hunting accident. How does that make him inept at being VP??? has anybody ever heard the word "ACCIDENT"??
Every time something happens any more somebody has to be charged with a 'crime'.
Like a parent or grandparent who has a fatal accident with a child safety seat and they are thrown in prison for not bucking it the 'right' way. It is so confusing, who can know 'everything'??? The hurt by the loss of a child is prison enough!!!
OOPS I fell off my soap box, charge me with a crime, has to be one there someplace!!!cuz I B--just don--
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
You have to watch Jay Leno at least for the next few evenings to get all the Cheney jokes!
I heard that the man who got sprayed got in Cheney's line of fire without Cheney knowing. The man was supposed to "announce himself"... hunter protocol.
That ranch is close to my inlaw's ranch.
Posted by vitch (Member # 8094) on :
Letterman had the best show of all time last night. Most of the jokes were about the shooting. Every 5 - 10 minutes a man would come out, interrupt the monologue and shoot into the rafters. A dead (dummy) body would fall out of the sky. It was hysterical... Guess you had to be there.
Posted by sofy (Member # 5721) on :
Cave, yes you said that. I said something not PC too. Its cuz of what lyme has done to our brain. You believe that dont you?
My motto: use what you got for an excuse, now I have a choice of three.
Choose one: lyme disease stupids dumb blond stupids old lady stupids
Oops Im starting to see a pattern here or is it just the stupids
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
The press is so stupid. They act like he needs to be charged and hung for a hunting accident.
Thank God the man is going to recover. He didn't follow safety procedures for quail hunting and Cheney reacted in the sport and moment shooting a moving target.
That poor White House press guy today. I thought he was going to strangle some press person with his bare hands today. lol
Pam
Posted by tequeslady (Member # 6832) on :
For you hunters out there...
How does birdshot get imbedded so deep (heart)?
I thought the shooter had to be very, very close to the individual when the gun is discharged, for this to occur.
quote:Originally posted by cave76: LOL
(but of course not for the people involved!)
This just in, from MSNBC:
***Doctors: Man Cheney shot had minor heart attack, birdshot lodged in heart***
Oh, Oh! So that's why he was in ICU! I hope he recovers and I hope Cheney doesn't!
Oops---Did I just say that???
Posted by hopeful123 (Member # 3244) on :
geeze, i'm 3 out of 3! Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
Alto it would require a deeper shot than they led us to believe. Cant get from the under the skin variety to circulating in the veins and arteries.
MY question is why or when did it become fashionable to NOT remove this shot from the body??? Did they ever hear of 'lead' poisioning???
The absesses would be horrific. Just taking them all out and cleaning the wounds would make me feel better!! Unless they are so dangerous to the heart or something.
A small tweezers would do wonders I would think!! knock me out, clean them out!!! Or I will always be --just don--
Posted by Ann-OH (Member # 2020) on :
Cheney is an outlaw because he didn't even have a hunting permit for quail, let alone fellow hunters.
And that's the truth. Ann - OH
Posted by troutscout (Member # 3121) on :
The shot size they used WOULD penetrate deep enough.
Most protocol do NOT call for removal of the shot.
There are many states that do NOT require additional stamps when hunting on private sanctuary's.
The idiot should have called out.
It is all rather funny...I feel for both of them.
Trout
Two out of three for me Posted by troutscout (Member # 3121) on :
cave,
I actually beleive it was poo-poo-ed by them BECAUSE of possible previous cover-ups.
In otherwords, the press has made them SO skittish about things that they are more prone to act this way.
I agree with the majority here..they should have announced it from his office...within minutes of it happening.
However, it was an accident....that's all.
Now....let's just allow this to be a "funny" post and NOT a PC post.
Trout Posted by treepatrol (Member # 4117) on :
Cheney's got a gun Song by Aerosmith
Posted by troutscout (Member # 3121) on :
Cave,
When my brother (who was my best friend) died...I was telling jokes to ease the pain.
I guess I have a different way of coping.
We would laugh at our kids when they fell down two steps and cried....or hurt themselves...minor cuts, etc....
The funny part...things that happen.
Chow....
Dick Ha s Cut a New Album;
his opening song;
"I shot the Lawyer" To the tune of "I shot the Sheriff"
Posted by Linda LD (Member # 6663) on :
I Shot the Lawyer, but I did not shot the President!
Posted by charlie (Member # 25) on :
....so many lawyers, so little time...
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Somebody [a democrat, I believe] on TV asked this morning, "So, is it safe to go hunting with the VP?" The other [a republican, I would say!] replied, "Safer than getting in a car with Senator Kennedy and driving over a bridge!"
Posted by lymemomtooo (Member # 5396) on :
Good one Tutu...I am a demo. but think about it everytime he attacks everyone with a different point of view..The glass house point of view. Guess he would be out by now if he had been jailed. The accident and his "friends" death have been a long time ago..Bet many on here were not even born.
I do feel sadness over this whole incident and hope the man that was shot will recover.
When I was growing up, our community had a hunting tragedy..2 cousins were out hunting groundhogs..They spotted one, slammed on the brakes and got their guns..One cousin used the top of the car for his gun rest as he shot and his cousin stood up..The rest of the picture is ugly..
I think there are major mistakes made when one is so anxious to bag the prize.
But I feel since this is not tragic, that there is a lot of humor that will recirculate..But probably not much better than our local experts have offered. lymemomtooo
Posted by Linda LD (Member # 6663) on :
We need someone famous with Lyme to go on Saturday night live and the whole premise to be how sick they are and the doctors keep saying, "You not sick--no Lyme in Southeat!" "You not sick--your Western Blot is not CDC standard,"...you get the idea.
L
Posted by lymebrat (Member # 3208) on :
Hi Everyone,
Trout said:"In otherwords, the press has made them SO skittish about things that they are more prone to act this way.
The idiot should have called out.
However, it was an accident....that's all."
I agree. This was just an accident. It doesn't matter if he is the VP, a Republican, had a license etc..the fact is that this is just an accident.
The media is so quick to put a spin on everything and say that every single thing is a cover up. Sorry, but I agree... we have more important political issues to be talking about.
Unfortunately, hunting accidents happen all the time, even though they don't make the news like this one has. Years ago, a local man killed his best friend..the friend jumped in his line of fire to take the shot and he ended up getting shot instead.
I do not hunt, but I do enjoy target shooting. And I have a great respect for proper handling of a gun/riffle. That said, I have to say that MANY times, it is the person who was shot that made the mistake.. In this case, he should have called out.
Once a person takes aim on their target and pulls the trigger, there is nothing they can do when someone steps into the path of the bullet, that just left their gun/riffle. Nothing.
lymetoo said: "Somebody [a democrat, I believe] on TV asked this morning, "So, is it safe to go hunting with the VP?" The other [a republican, I would say!] replied, "Safer than getting in a car with Senator Kennedy and driving over a bridge!"
Thanks for the laugh Lymetoo..I haven't heard this one yet, and will have to email it to some of my buddies. lol
~LymeBrat
Posted by pattilynn (Member # 8065) on :
LOL!!! You crack me up MADDOG.
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
Hey you cracked up laughing Maddog, Whatca thinking TODAY??? Give us a howl or two!!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I thought of that later, lymemomtoo....MANY on this board have no clue what the joke was about! We have so many young people on this board. OK, now I'm feeling old!! Posted by hopeful123 (Member # 3244) on :
i think it's a good thing that the press and THE PEOPLE OF THE US demanded to hear directly from the VP what happened and why it took so long for the information to be released.
it reminded me a little of when princess di died and the queen just sat in her castle until there was an uproar.
the people speak through the press...
we have the right to be heard even when we don't agree with the current administration.
interesting that VP went to fox 5 rather than larry king live, which is where he would ordinarilly be interviewed.
all this gives me a headache...
Posted by lymie tony z (Member # 5130) on :
OH crap I'm that old too tu tu...
I only have one of the three...
However I have a feeling that just being a male would qualify me by some of the other gender as having two of the three....somewhat modified...
We ought to introduce A Steere to the vice pres.....and have them go deer hunting....!!
zman
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
Thank you Lymetoo. I was just about to post about the very subject of Ted Kennedy. My goodness, there is no comparison to what Ted did and what the VP did.
VP was hunting quail and made a terrible mistake. Kennedy drove a car with woman in it into a lake and went home and went to bed. He's a state senator. Go figure!!!!!!
As far as Cheney not speaking out, I completely understand. I hit a 5 yr old boy and killed him 25 yrs ago. It was an accident. I was so shaken I couldn't image having to deal with it in any public forum. It's a terrible feeling to harm another human being accidently. VP or just a ordinary citizen.
Until you've walked in someones shoes.......
Pam
Posted by Mo (Member # 2863) on :
Noone had a problem with the accident. (except the man who was shot in the heart, of course)
-- it was the handling of it that raises allot of questions. Things do not add up. It's a huge metaphor as well for this administration.
Blaming the victim (put out by Cheney's initial spokespeople) being just one of the more disturbing elements initially.
I'm sorry, but bottom line it is the shooter's responsibility to know what he shoots at.
There is something wrong with the public not finding out the VP shot a man in the heart (that is what happened, the heart attack was from the pellet lodged there, not the general trauma)
..there is something wrong with the public not finding this out until almost a full day later, as he is VICE PRESIDENT. He is bound by higher standards.
.. and the VP not seeing police, or even going to the hospital with the victim..while he says he told no reporters because he was so worried about Harry. (if you shot someone accidentally, would you not go to the hospital?) then allowing spokesmen he authorized in the early days to play down the incident, blame the victim, and play down the injuries.
There is something wrong with sending the local cops away till the next morning.
Just to clarify what some dems and repubs alike have problems with here, and to take the blame off Mr. Whittington.
Anyone can have accidents happen, even terrible ones. That is not the issue.
It's about the handling in this case, all around by Cheney and the White House.
Mo
[ 16. February 2006, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: Mo ]
Posted by nan (Member # 63) on :
Guess Cheney knew how to increase his approval numbers....
after shooting the lawyer, his approval rating jumped to 92%!!!
Ooooooh.....that was soooo bad.....sorry Posted by MADDOG (Member # 18) on :
He He He ,today on the radio they were playing Cheneys got a gun,instead of Jamies got a gun.
To funny!!!!!!!!!
How about - I shot the layer but I didn't shoot no deputy . He He He He
MADDOG
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
Jay Leno had a good one last night. Said Hillary was 'very' interested in """How to accidently shoot a guy and not get in too much trouble!!!"""
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
quote:Originally posted by lymie tony z: We ought to introduce A Steere to the vice pres.....and have them go deer hunting....!!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
quote:Originally posted by just don: Jay Leno had a good one last night. Said Hillary was 'very' interested in """How to accidently shoot a guy and not get in too much trouble!!!"""
Hillary also said "We can't have SECRETS in the White House!!" Posted by Ann-OH (Member # 2020) on :
Would you go hunting with anyone who had had several heart attacks, was probably on several medications, drank alcohol at lunchtime,who had a couple of DWI charges, even if he was the Vice President?
Hmmmmm?
Ann - OH
Posted by aklnwlf (Member # 5960) on :
These posts really brightened up my day.
Any way of joining the Hillary club??
Posted by Mo (Member # 2863) on :
Jon Stewart: "I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?
Rob Corddry: "Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush.
"And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face."
Jon Stewart: "But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?"
Rob Corddry: "Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak."
Jon Stewart: "That's horrible."
Rob Corddry: "Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know 'how' we're hunting them. I'm sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little 'covey' of theirs.
Jon Stewart: "I'm not sure birds can laugh, Rob."
Rob Corddry: "Well, whatever it is they do ... coo .. they're cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
Of all the foregone posts I fail to even see the humor OR the point to this last analyst post. Makes about as much sense as, hmmm cant think of anything to compare it to!
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
maddog-you don't come out very often but when you do you sure start something.
hope stuff is settling down at home.
Posted by MADDOG (Member # 18) on :
Howdy. I shure wouldent want to be Cheneys bird dog!!!!!!! AAAAAOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!
MADDOG Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
quote:Originally posted by MADDOG: I shure wouldent want to be Cheneys bird dog!!!!!!!
Now, THAT's funny! Posted by Linda LD (Member # 6663) on :
I can not BELIEVE I am about to defend Cheney...
I had a wreak two years ago and rear-ended this guy in an old truck.
I was fine until my husband got there and got me and the kids.
Then I went hysterical--hysterical--I was so freaked out that I had hurt another human being. I made my husband drive to the hospital and go inside and find out how the fellow was. Husband wouldn not allow me to go in--I was a mess.
With Cheney I wondered if the delay to report was because they were trying to find the guy that was shot--his family--so they wouldn't hear it on the radio and that caused the delay.
when I rear-ended that fellow--that night I was going to call everyone in the phone book with his last name and see if they were kin and if they knew how he was. My husband finally convinced me that would not be the right way for his grandmother to find out he had been in a wreck.
The guy in my story is fine. But I just can't throw any stones--even if you are VP of the united states--I can't imagine shotting someone if I wasn't in combat or they weren't trying to hurt my family.
I didn't know Cheney didn't go to the hospital though.
Posted by Mo (Member # 2863) on :
hey Don --
I guess my post was more satire than humor...
Mo
Posted by hopeful123 (Member # 3244) on :
>Breaking News > > >HALLIBURTON WINS CONTRACT TO RECONSTRUCT CHENEY'S REPUTATION > > >At $42 Billion, Largest Contract of its Kind, Company Says. The Halliburton Company announced today that it had won a $42 billion contract from the U.S. government to reconstruct the reputation of Vice President Dick Cheney. > >While Halliburton has been known for massive reconstruction projects in such war-torn nations as Iraq, the $42 billion contract represents the first time that the company has been employed to put its reconstruction expertise to work on one embattled human being. > >At the White House, spokesman Scott McClellan defended the $42 billion price tag for the reconstruction effort, telling reporters, "Given how much work >Dick Cheney's reputation is going to take to rebuild, at the end of the day that $42 billion contract is going to look like a bargain." > >Mr. McClellan likened the state of Mr. Cheney's reputation to conditions on the ground in Iraq, "only worse." But even as Halliburton began gearing up for the daunting task of reconstructing the vice president's reputation, an unlikely critic of the plan, Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (R-Ill), questioned the wisdom of even attempting to rebuild Dick Cheney. > >Rep. Hastert said that based on what he had seen of Dick Cheney's reputation in recent days, it reminded him of the city of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, making him wonder whether the vice president could be rebuilt at all. > >"It looks like a lot of Dick Cheney could be bulldozed," Rep. Hastert said. > >Elsewhere, breaking with a longstanding tradition set by his predecessor, Alan Greenspan, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke delivered his first economic report to Congress in English. > > >The Borowitz Report: Waste Someone's Time: Forward to a Friend.
>
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
quote:Originally posted by Linda LD: I didn't know Cheney didn't go to the hospital though.
I heard that he DID go the next day.
Posted by on :
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
That was a good one.
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![[bonk]](graemlins/bonk.gif)
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