Have you ever wondered why it seems that all the symptoms caused by these infectious creatures are bad ones ? Wouldn't you think some of their activity might actually yield something desirable once in a while?
Maybe there is even a disease where all the effects are positive ? I've decided there must be.
So the NEXT disease I get is going to go something like this:
1. I have floaters in my vision... that are actually the items in my daily planner. Blinking washes in the next appointment.
2. When I wake up in the morning I have such a profound sense of... well-being and energy that my neighbors start to complain about the daily Tarzan yell at 6am.
3. The medicine I take is only available via... chocolate candies. The generic is in the form of Russell Stover French Chocolate Mints.
4. Bright light shining in through a window causes... me to smile uncontrollably and sing verses from ``The Sound of Music''.
5. I have a chemical sensitivity that... makes baby diapers, gasoline, and the garbage smell like fresh strawberries.
6. I get weird sensations on my skin... that feel like a deep Swedish massage.
7. Alternative therapies include an electric device... akin to the ``Orgasmatron'' in Woody Allen's ``Barbaraella''. The effects are the same.
8. The medicine I take causes the skin around my eyes to... get tighter, dropping 10 years from my appearance.
9. My sleep requirements are altered... I only need 4 hours a night.
10. I have strange dreams... sailing the blue Carribbean, winning Olympic Gold, and discovering a cure for cancer.
11. I have uncontrollable fits of... giggling. They are set off whenever people do mean or inconsiderate things.
And finally, 12. My next disease will have flare-ups that come in cycles every few weeks (or whenever I change candies). They will make all my symptoms feel even better.
OK, so I'd settle for no disease at all. But if I have to have one, that's MY next disease. What's yours ? :^)
Posted by TheCrimeOfLyme (Member # 4019) on :
So the NEXT disease I get is going to go something like this:
1. My vision is extremely blurry... from drinking and partying all night long.
2. The nerves in my face actually hurt.. because I laughed way too long at a joke yesterday
3. I take medicine on a daily basis... and I remember what it's called.
4. I forgot what I was doing yesterday... because I didn't do much besides shop
5. I have chemical sensitivity to the point I can detect and name the scent of various colognes on a dime. 6. I get weird sensations on my skin... and I like it that way.
7. Alternative therapies include an electric device... that vibrates. Wink wink
8. The medicine I take causes my body to... fall asleep so I can max out on 8 hours instead of the normal 7 hours and 59 minutes. 9. My disease is... health doesn't matter...
til you dont have it anymore
Posted by snowflake (Member # 8950) on :
My next disease will (hopefully)...
take me quickly instead of making me suffer so long.
Posted by AZURE WISH (Member # 804) on :
snowflake. I know the suffering is hard but it will get better.
I have had symptoms for at least 18.5 yrs. And when I look back sometimes I wonder how I made it through
especially certain periods of time.
But now with treatment I am getting better... Dont give up hope...
In the dark hours of this illness hope has been all that I've had to cling on to.
Best wishes
Posted by AZURE WISH (Member # 804) on :
This is a fun idea...
For my next disaese -
1. The pulsing in my eyeball will give me "cat night vision"
2. I will gain muscle by inactivity.
3. My joint will change to "bioinc woman" condition.
4. The swishy feeling in my head would raise my IQ by at least 30 pts.
5. All of my dreams would be happy wish fullfillment dreams.
6. The pressure in my ears would give me a cat's hearing ability.
7. Twitching would make my artwork better. I would make better more accurate marks.
8. Instead of moments of weaknes in my body I would get moments of superman strength.
9. I would hardly have to sleep. (But I could if I wanted to)
I would wake up with as much energy as speedy gonzalos. I would be able to go all day like the energizer bunny.
10. I would only have to take one pill a day. It would be the perfect combination of supplements and prescription meds I needed.
Its fun to dream Posted by Nal (Member # 6801) on :
My next disease:
1. I Have floaters in my right eye: they will only allow me to see sexy men!
2. My skin burns: this will actually feel very good and warming on those cold days
3. My stomach hurts all the time: Its because I can no longer eat anything but junk food.
4. I take pills and this time they actually work!
5. I have memory loss and thats ok because every day will seem like a brand new beginning!
6. I will only have to sleep about 6 hours and have so much energy that I have a hard time taking breaks during the day!
7. My sex drive will completely soar!
8. The only diet I will need is on the allows all the chocolate and coffee I can handle.
Nancy
I agree with snowflake though. My next one better take me quickly without too much suffering.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)